Hi,

 

There’s an age old question that people ask: Why do bad things happen to good people? And that can definitely apply to people who have bipolar disorder and the supporters trying to help them.

I mean…Things could be going along just fine…In fact, things could be going along fine for a long time, maybe even years…And BOOM! The next thing you know, your loved one is in another bipolar episode. And you’re left asking, “Why?” But here’s the thing: It’s unproductive to try to find a “why” behind why bad things happen. The “why” question generally lends itself to finding fault, someone to blame. Then you might want to blame your loved one for bringing the episode upon themselves. Like, maybe they’re not trying hard enough to get better. Maybe if they did this…Or maybe if they did that…Then they wouldn’t have gone into this episode. Or you blame yourself. Maybe you’re not a good enough supporter to your loved one. Maybe if you’d tried this…Or maybe if you’d tried that…Then they wouldn’t have gone into this episode.

 

But guilt never helped a supporter help their loved one come out of a bipolar episode. Guilt is not a positive feeling and, in fact, is a very negative feeling, but is one that is very common among supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder. Like the “why” question, guilt is not very productive. It won’t help you to help your loved one at all. And it can make things worse, especially for you. It can lead to a lot of stress for you. So you need to address any guilt you may be feeling. The fact is…You are NOT responsible in ANY way for your loved one’s bipolar episode. Remember that they have a chemical imbalance in their brain. Sometimes the chemicals just misfire, leading to an episode. It’s not because of anything you did or didn’t do. It’s not because of you AT ALL. So stop feeling that way. And if you are blaming your loved one in any way, stop that too. It’s not their fault either. What you should be doing instead is thinking about

how to cope with the episode.

 

You may feel angry at first. If you do, be sure that your anger is directed at the real cause (bipolar disorder) and not at your loved one. Anger, like guilt, is not going to be very productive in helping your loved one get through their episode, so you need to work through your anger as quickly as you can. While your loved one is in their episode and you’re waiting for the medication or other treatment to work, try to keep your thoughts positive by remembering

that they are not always this way. Remember what they’re like when they’re NOT in an episode.

One supporter does this by looking at photographs. Another one does it by looking through a scrapbook. Still another one watches videos. And one supporter has letters from their wife that she wrote when she was stable. Do whatever you have to do to get you through the episode and be a good supporter to your loved one. Remember that it isn’t always like this. The bad times

always pass.

 

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

 

What is success to you? A mother told her son that for him to be a success it was not in how much money he made, but in how honest a man he was, and how good a husband and father he was. Many people define success in many different ways. Webster’s dictionary defines success as: “favorable or desired outcome.”

 

Some synonyms for success are: achievement, accomplishment, victory, triumph, feat, realization, and attainment. Today I want to talk about success with bipolar disorder. I know, you probably haven’t even thought of the concept before. But it’s one of the things I talk about to people, and it’s something that is possible with bipolar disorder, as it relates to those synonyms.

 

Now, I didn’t say that success with bipolar disorder would be easy. Don’t get me wrong. I just said that it is possible. Although there is still no cure for bipolar disorder at this point, there is treatment for it. And because there is treatment for it, there is the possibility for stability. And stability can bring with it the remission of symptoms. And although the remission of symptoms isn’t a cure, it’s the next best thing. It’s like being in remission with cancer. The disease never really goes away, but you don’t have the symptoms of it any more. To me, that is success. As much success as you can have with bipolar disorder at this point, anyway.

 

Ok…So let’s talk about how you can get success with bipolar disorder, or get to the point where you no longer have the symptoms of it. First of all…Your best bet is going to be medication. I know you don’t want to think of taking medication every day for the rest of your life, but if it means having no symptoms, will that make it easier for you to take it? Medication keeps the symptoms of bipolar disorder at bay. It balances out the mood swings, and for those people who suffer from hallucinations and delusions, antipsychotic medication helps allay those symptoms as well. But the important thing is that you take your medication every day religiously. That is your greatest chance for success with your bipolar disorder.

 

Another thing that will help you to achieve success with bipolar disorder is to see your doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, and other professionals on a regular basis as scheduled. Don’t miss appointments, as that can easily derail your treatment success.

 

Another point toward your success efforts would be the establishment of a good, strong support system. The people in your support system will help you as you try to manage your disorder, and will help you in your goals toward getting better and finding success.

 

There is the possibility of getting better, getting stable, and finding success with your bipolar disorder. And there are some things you can do to achieve that success, like I’ve talked about.

 

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews598/

Bipolar Drug Sales Slide: More Patients but More Generics
DO> Do you think this is a good thing?

Passion Pit Singer on Battling Mental Illness and Taking New Songs on the Road
DO> Wow sounds great.

More Kids Taking Antipsychotics for ADHD: Study
DO> Wow, this is kind of terrible

Book Review: Surviving Mental Illness: My Story by Linda Naomi Katz
DO> Sounds like a good book, will you get it?

Effective Personalized Strategies for Treating Bipolar Disorder
DO> Very interesting, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews598/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

 

Webster’s dictionary definition of perseverance is: “continued effort to do or achieve something

despite difficulties, failure, or opposition; steadfastness.”

 

And some synonyms for perseverance are: persistence, determination, insistence, resolution, stubbornness, doggedness, diligence, resolve, drive, purpose, tenacity, dedication, tirelessness, endurance, and firmness. Wow. That’s a lot of synonyms. But they give you a good, rounded idea of what perseverance really means. But to me, perseverance just means that you don’t give up. No matter what, you just keep at it and you don’t give up. That’s the way you have to be when you’re trying to cope and deal with bipolar disorder. No matter the situation facing you, you don’t give up. You have perseverance.

 

That means, as it relates to bipolar disorder, that when one thing that you try with your loved one

doesn’t work, you just try something else. And if that doesn’t work either, you try something else. But you don’t give up. You just keep trying things, believing that something will eventually work. For example: If your loved one is having a problem with their medication, their doctor or psychiatrist will try them on one type of medication at first. If that doesn’t work, they will try your loved one on a different medication. Then if that doesn’t work either, they will try them

on a different medication, or even a different type of medication. But they won’t give up. They will persevere until they find a medication that works for your loved one.

 

Another way that you need to persevere is in believing that your loved one will get better. It may not look like it right now. In fact…Your loved one may not be doing very well right now. And circumstances may look like they won’t get better. You may even be feeling frustrated and discouraged. But you can still persevere in your belief that eventually your loved one will still get better. No matter how things look at the moment.

 

Thomas Edison said, “Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how

close they were to success when they gave up.” That’s what perseverance is all about – the not giving up. Remember, it’s the “continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition.”

 

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

My friend lives in an area of the country where they joke about the weather. They say: “Don’t like the weather? Just stick around for a little while, it’ll change.” They think it’s funny. But to a lot of people, change isn’t funny. In fact, change is really hard for them. Like with bipolar disorder, for example. Think of your loved one before they were diagnosed. They acted a certain way. Then their behavior changed. But it was in a negative way. And that was very hard for you to accept. It’s hard to watch your loved one change right before your eyes in a way that you can’t understand or help them. At least at first. Imagine how they felt. It’s equally hard when change happens to you. Like for your loved one and their bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorder causes your loved one’s moods to swing and them to have uncontrollable behaviors sometimes. This can be a pretty big change for them, and hard to accept. In both cases, whether talking about your loved one or you yourself, the feeling is the same. It’s a feeling of helplessness. Of not having control over what’s happening to you (or your circumstances) or to someone you care about. And that can be a very negative feeling. Nobody likes to feel helpless.

We all like to feel like we’re in control over what happens to us. That’s why we don’t like it when things change around us kind of without our permission. But if you accept the changes, it will go much better for you and your loved one.

For example: Your loved one may be learning about a concept called mindfulness in their therapy. You can learn about it, too. In mindfulness, you learn to accept things without judging them. That means that you accept them the way they are instead of how you would like them to be. You’re not exactly helpless, but you’re not exactly controlling things, either. You’re just being in a sort of acceptance mode. And in this acceptance mode, you have a lot less stress in your life. Because you’re letting change happen and not trying to control everything, especially things that you just can’t control. You’ll find that if you practice this concept, that you’ll be much less stressed and much happier altogether. And so will your loved one.

There are positive changes that come along with bipolar disorder, too. Like the changes that your loved one has been asked to do in their lifestyle. For example: They’ve most likely been asked to stick to a good sleep schedule, go on a healthy, nutritious diet, and exercise on a regular basis as things they can do to manage their bipolar disorder. So change isn’t always a bad thing.

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

 

There’s this funny story about this woman who wanted new curtains. So her husband got her new curtains. But then she said that the carpet didn’t go with the new curtains, so they had to get new carpeting. So her husband got her new carpeting. But then she said that the new curtains and the new carpeting didn’t go with the couch, so they had to get a new couch. So her husband got her a new couch. But then she said that the coffee table didn’t go with the new curtains, new carpeting and the new couch, so they had to get a new coffee table. So her husband got her a new coffee table. But then she decided that she didn’t like the new curtains after all. Her husband just threw up his hands in exasperation and left the house screaming.

 

Wasn’t that a funny story? I thought so. But it’s a story that illustrates a point I want to make. It’s about making too many changes all at once. Like in your loved one’s case. Your loved one, once they’re diagnosed, is going to be asked by their therapist to make changes in their lifestyle.

But the thing is, they’re not asked to do this all at the same time. See…You have to remember that they didn’t get this way overnight, and they’re not going to change overnight, either. You just have to be patient. The important thing is that they be working on changing. That’s all that their therapist should be asking of them to do. So that’s all that you should be asking of them to

do, too. But their therapist doesn’t have to deal with them as much or as closely as you do, so that’s easy to say, isn’t it? I know that for you it’s much harder. It’s hard to be patient with someone else sometimes. Especially someone who has bipolar disorder. I know, because I went through it with my mom. I wanted her to get better so bad. So bad that at times I lost my patience. Things just didn’t go as fast as I thought they should at times, you know? It’s tough to remember that change will only happen as a matter of course, in its own time. Again I have to stress that the important thing is that your loved one be working on changing.

 

It’s like this article I read on uncluttering your life: It said that rather than be overwhelmed by a complete overhaul, you should pick a different area of your life to tackle each month – from your desk at work, to your medicine cabinet, to your linen closet. It’s just too overwhelming to do the whole thing at once. It has to be done in stages. Your loved one’s changing is the same thing. It has to be done in stages, too. The encouraging thing is that you should be able to see progress happening along the way, though. For example: If you and your loved one fight a lot, this may be

one of the first things that they and their therapist tackle in therapy, because it’s so important. So you should see a decrease in fighting as your loved one learns to deal with their anger better.

 

 

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews597/

Regular Medication helps Bipolar Patients Lead a Normal Life
DO> You knew this didn’t you?

PTSD Prevalent in Serious Mental Illness Patients
DO> It sure is, don’t you think?

Child Health Researcher Earns Prestigious Award in
Recognition of Scientific Studies into Brain and Development
DO> Wow this sounds great, take a lok.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews597/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

 

Have you ever seen a ballet? Or a dance with great choreography in it? The reason they’re so beautiful is that everyone knows the steps. And the steps are all synchronized. The dancers work together. They all do the footwork necessary to make the dance come off in harmony. And to the audience, they make it look so easy. That’s the beauty of it. But the audience doesn’t know how much time and practice actually went into it. They don’t know what it took to actually do the

footwork. That’s what I want to talk to you about today: Doing the footwork. See…I think that one of the reasons that many people who are trying to cope and deal with bipolar disorder don’t succeed is that they’re waiting for other people to do things for them that they could be doing for themselves.

 

Here’s an example: I’ve heard countless sad but true stories of people who didn’t take medication for their bipolar disorder and just kept getting worse and worse and going from episode to episode and hospitalization to hospitalization (and sometimes even jail) because

they said they just couldn’t get their medication, usually because they couldn’t afford it.

 

But let me tell you a couple instances of the opposite. True stories that involve Michele, who works for me, that happened to her and her mother, who also has bipolar disorder. Here’s the first case: Michele’s mom is on Seroquel, a very expensive bipolar medication. And she’s on Social Security, so she can’t afford the medication. Well, Michele helped her apply to Astra Zeneca, the drug manufacturer of Seroquel, who has a program called AZ and Me, that helps people who can’t afford their medication. Michele’s mom now gets her Seroquel for only

$25 per month.

 

Now Michele’s case: Michele is on Geodon, perhaps the most expensive bipolar medication on the market, so she definitely couldn’t afford it, and her insurance wouldn’t cover it. She applied to Pfizer (the drug manufacturer) who has a program called Connection to Care to help her get her Geodon. Now they send a 90-day supply at a time directly to her doctor for her and she doesn’t have to pay anything for her medication.

 

In both these cases, these women could have claimed that they just couldn’t afford their medication and not taken anything for their bipolar disorder. In which case they would have just gotten worse and worse, like I described before. But Michele did the footwork and contacted the drug manufacturers and found out about their Patient Assistant Programs and got the medications for both her and her mother, with little or no cost to themselves.

 

That’s what happens when you do the footwork. But you just can’t expect that it’ll happen for you. You have to do it yourself. Just like your loved one won’t get better by themselves either.

They have to do the footwork. You may be able to help them get their medication, like Michele did for her mom. But they still have to take it every day. And they have to do all the other things that lead to their stability, too. Like following their treatment plan. You can’t go to their appointments for them, for example. But if they do the footwork, they can get better.

 

 

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

 

You know, we hear a lot about cholesterol these days. You may even have a problem with your cholesterol, or have to take medication to control it. Many people do, so you’re not alone. It’s getting to be in epidemic proportions. But did you know…If you’re trying to control your cholesterol – That there are actually two types of cholesterol. And that it’s not enough to lower your “bad” cholesterol… You also have to try to raise your “good” cholesterol at the same time.

The good news is that you can do this through medication, diet, and exercise, so it can be done and you can stay healthy. The important thing is BALANCE. Treatment is a BALANCE between the medication, diet, and exercise. It takes all three. When it comes to bipolar disorder, you need a BALANCE as well. When I teach about bipolar disorder, I talk about some of the elements that make up a good BALANCE in managing bipolar disorder for your loved one.

 

For example: Most importantly, they need to take their medications religiously and as prescribed.

They also need to go to all their appointments with their doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, and any other professional on their treatment team on a regular basis. It’s good for them to have a structure and a routine, and to have productivity to their days, such as having a To-Do List of things to accomplish. They should have a good strong support system that they can depend on.

They should stick to a regular sleep schedule as well, going to bed at the same time every night and waking up at the same time every morning, and getting 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night. A good, healthy, nutritious diet is very important, too. They should avoid caffeine, and they definitely should avoid alcohol, as this could interfere with their medication (as well as other possible problems).

 

Exercise is very important for your loved one. They should exercise at least three times a week for at least 30 minutes, enough to raise their heartbeat. Even walking is good, as long as it’s regular and they stick to it. If they can’t work a full-time job outside the home, maybe they can work a part-time job, or a job with flexible hours. If not, perhaps a work-from-home job, or a business you can start from home. If they can’t work, they should at least do volunteer work. The important thing is to do something productive with their time. They should also have projects that they work on, and creative things that they do, like working in a garden, or building things.

Hobbies are important as well. They also need to do things that they enjoy. That is really

important for their emotional well-being. The important thing about all these things is that they create a BALANCE for your loved one. Your loved one needs to be balanced physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

 

But don’t forget yourself! You need to be balanced as well. Pretty much all the things that I listed for your loved one could apply just as easily to you. If you do all those things…You will be balanced as well, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And it’s just as important for you to be well-balanced as it is for your loved one to be well-balanced, even though you don’t have bipolar disorder. It’s actually important for all of us to be well-balanced in general.

So all of this is actually just good advice to follow. But one thing I would add for you: You need to take breaks from your loved one. If not, you will burn out. Make sure that you have your own support system as well, just as your loved one does.

 

 

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave