Hi,

There’s this funny story about this woman who wanted new curtains. So her husband got her new curtains. But then she said that the carpet didn’t go with the new curtains, so they had to get new carpeting. So her husband got her new carpeting. But then she said that the new curtains and the new carpeting didn’t go with the couch, so they had to get a new couch. So her husband got her a new couch. But then she said that the coffee table didn’t go with the new curtains, new carpeting and the new couch, so they had to get a new coffee table. So her husband got her a new coffee table. But then she decided that she didn’t like the new curtains after all. Her husband just threw up his hands in exasperation and left the house screaming.

Wasn’t that a funny story? I thought so. But it’s a story that illustrates a point I want to make. It’s about making too many changes all at once. Like in your loved one’s case. Your loved one, once they’re diagnosed, is going to be asked by their therapist to make changes in their lifestyle.

But the thing is, they’re not asked to do this all at the same time. See…You have to remember that they didn’t get this way overnight, and they’re not going to change overnight, either. You just have to be patient. The important thing is that they be working on changing. That’s all that their therapist should be asking of them to do. So that’s all that you should be asking of them to

do, too. But their therapist doesn’t have to deal with them as much or as closely as you do, so that’s easy to say, isn’t it? I know that for you it’s much harder. It’s hard to be patient with someone else sometimes. Especially someone who has bipolar disorder. I know, because I went through it with my mom. I wanted her to get better so bad. So bad that at times I lost my patience. Things just didn’t go as fast as I thought they should at times, you know? It’s tough to remember that change will only happen as a matter of course, in its own time. Again I have to stress that the important thing is that your loved one be working on changing.

It’s like this article I read on uncluttering your life: It said that rather than be overwhelmed by a complete overhaul, you should pick a different area of your life to tackle each month – from your desk at work, to your medicine cabinet, to your linen closet. It’s just too overwhelming to do the whole thing at once. It has to be done in stages. Your loved one’s changing is the same thing. It has to be done in stages, too. The encouraging thing is that you should be able to see progress happening along the way, though. For example: If you and your loved one fight a lot, this may be

one of the first things that they and their therapist tackle in therapy, because it’s so important. So you should see a decrease in fighting as your loved one learns to deal with their anger better.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave