Hi,

There’s a saying that goes: “If life gives you scraps… Make a quilt!” I like that saying. It really shows a positive attitude. Like no matter what life throws at you… You can still make something good out of your life. I like that, I really do. Because I’ve known a lot of people with bipolar disorder who’ve done just that. I’ve interviewed many, many people who have bipolar disorder… Who are success stories… And they have overcome some very serious things to get where they are today. It wasn’t easy, but they’ve done it. Some of them have really been dealt some life “scraps,” like the saying says. But they have really made some beautiful quilts out of their lives. And now many of them are turning around and helping others to turn their own lives around, too. One thing I’ve found is that, at least in many of them… Once they recover… They have this desire to help others recover too. There are a couple of them who have started blogs to encourage other people with bipolar disorder. A couple have written books. Most are members of support groups. But the thing I respect most about these people is… That most of them are open about the fact that they have bipolar disorder. They talk about it openly, and they try to help other people by talking about it.

Like my mom, for example. She talks to people and she’s not scared to tell them that she has bipolar disorder. If it comes up, I mean. She wants to help them. See, at first she was like many other survivors and supporters. She felt really alone. She thought there were very, very few people who had bipolar disorder. So she was ashamed. And she didn’t want anyone to know that she had it. But then after I did my research and found out that MILLIONS of people had it… She felt SO much better! She didn’t feel so alone any more.

In fact, I told her to think of it this way… That if, say 13 million people have bipolar disorder

in this country… And, say, for each one, there are at least two supporters… And a doctor and therapist treating them… That would be at least 65 million people who know about bipolar disorder! And that’s not counting all the researchers and people in the field of mental health!

And think about it – so many people have more than just two supporters in their support system, too, so that number is way low, too! See what I’m saying? It just grows and grows and grows…

More people know about bipolar disorder than you think. The point is, you are NOT alone!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how are you feeling today? I hope you’re feeling well.

With winter coming on, a lot of people are catching the flu. I know some people on my staff are getting sick, too. Remember that you need to take care of your own physical health and well-being to be a good supporter to your loved one. You can’t help them if you get sick, so you need to make taking care of yourself a priority.

Anyway, onto today’s topic: KEEP AN OPEN MIND

Sometimes, you may not like what your loved one is saying to you or the way they are acting toward you. If you react to what they’re saying in a negative way, they may stop talking to you,

and you don’t want that. If you react in a negative way to how they are behaving (as long as you don’t believe they are in an episode), you’re probably better off keeping your feelings to yourself, as expressing them in a negative way may start a fight, and you don’t want that. They may even stop talking to you.

If you want your loved one to communicate with you, you have to keep an open mind. This way, you can hold the disorder responsible and not your loved one. You can disagree with what they

say but agree with their right to say it, if you have an open mind.

Just think how you would feel if you were in any of the following examples:

EXAMPLE #1:

Judy has bipolar disorder. She’s been feeling stressed and depressed all week, feeling like she is alone. She tries to talk to her husband (her primary supporter), but he just seems so distracted that she chooses not to talk to him, and keeps her feelings inside.

EXAMPLE #2:

John needs to talk to Cynthia about the way he is feeling, because he is scared. He’s been having suicidal thoughts again. When he does talk to her, she tells him, “You shouldn’t feel that way.” Right away, John stops talking, because he feels like he is being judged.

EXAMPLE #3:

Donna is feeling out of control. The hallucinations are back, and she is hearing voices. She is hesitant, though, because the last time she tried to tell her supporter about it, they said, “It’s just all in your head, they’ll go away in a little while.”

EXAMPLE #4:

Steven suspects he is in a bipolar episode. He has been trying to hide the symptoms, but at this point he doesn’t think he can hide them any more, and he wants help. He tells his wife how he is feeling, but she responds with, “You’ve been through this before, you’ll get through it again.” Steven feels as if he and the way he is feeling are being dismissed as not serious, so he doesn’t

ask for help.

EXAMPLE #5

Sheryl has a boyfriend with bipolar disorder. She is just beginning to learn his behaviors, and learning about bipolar disorder in general. She has researched it enough to know that his behavior is not normal right now. He seems scared, and is hesitant to talk to her about what

is going on. Sheryl encourages her boyfriend to talk to her about how he is feeling, and she continues to be encouraging throughout the conversation – even though at times, she doesn’t agree with what he says. After her boyfriend has shared how he feels, they have a discussion on

whether it is time to get help and what help they should get.

Only in the last example does the supporter act properly, because they keep an open mind.

Can you see yourself in any of the other examples? If you do, try to practice having an open mind when your loved one talks to you. This way, they will be more apt to tell you what’s really going on with them.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I remember when I still lived at home… And it was time for Spring Cleaning. I would do everything I could to NOT be at home! Because being at home meant I would have to help my mom with all kinds of extra cleaning. Closets… The garage… The basement… The rooms…

Under everywhere… In everything… Places I never knew existed! And we’d find things I thought were long gone, too! It was amazing, the things Mom would discover during Spring Cleaning. I think everybody Spring Cleans. I think it’s a universal thing, if you ask me. But I don’t think it’s limited to Spring. I think many people do it during the Fall as well. It doesn’t really matter when you do it. The point is… If you let things build up… You eventually have to clean them up, however you do it. And whenever you choose to do it.

There are people who are called hoarders. There’s even a show on TV about them now. Have you seen it? It’s really kind of sad. It can be a type of mental illness, if it gets real bad. These people don’t just clutter… They just can’t throw anything away. So they keep EVERYTHING!

And this stuff just keeps building… And building… And building… Until eventually it just overwhelms the room they have it in… And actually even overwhelms the person themselves! That’s when it gets really bad. See, you can actually have too much STUFF. And it can lead to anxiety. There are other issues that can accompany bipolar disorder, and anxiety is one of them.

Michele, who I’ve talked about before, who has bipolar disorder, went through something like this at one point. She had a dining room table which was where she just started accumulating things – like the mail, different pieces of paper, newspapers, magazines, etc. – things she meant to get to, to clean up, but never seemed to get to. Eventually, her piles took up the entire dining room table. Every time she would tell herself she was going to clean up the mess, she would look over at the table and become so overwhelmed, she would have an anxiety attack! Well, something had to be done about it. So she talked to her therapist about it, and her therapist told her not to try to tackle it all at once, because that was what was overwhelming her. She told her to take just one corner, just one pile, and start on that. Michele did that, and it worked! And one corner, one pile at a time, she eventually cleaned off that whole dining room table. And she never had that problem again.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews559/

Here are the news headlines:

Old Made New: Medication Offers Hope for Bipolar Depression
DO> Wow, this sounds great.

More People using Antidepressants than Ever
DO> Do you think that is sad?

UT Medicine Working to Advance Bipolar Disorder Research
DO> Wow this sounds promising, don’t you think?

WWE and WCW Star Chris Kanyon’s Posthumously-Released Book Is a Must-Read
DO> Do you think you will get this book?

GPs Gave 15000 Children as Young as Five Chemical Cosh [Drugs such as Seroquel or Risperdal]
DO> What do you think about this???

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews559/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going for you today? I hope it’s going well.

I read this quote the other day: “The pursuit of the dream means more than the dream itself.”

I know how it can relate to life in general: Have you ever taken a long trip? Have you ever heard (or said) the expression, “Getting there is half the fun”?

Cruises are a good example. There is more time spent on the water than on the land, wherever

you choose to visit. So they make it fun to be on the boat. They have activities that you can

enjoy, like shows and other entertainment. Because getting to that port can be just as fun as actually arriving at the port.

I know this couple who live in Tennessee (U.S.), but every few months they take a trip down to

Florida (U.S.). They always drive down. They take their time, and they always say that quote, “Getting there is half the fun,” because they stop in out-of-the-way places just to see what’s there.

So how does this relate to bipolar disorder?

Well, I can’t say that “Getting there is half the fun…” Because I know what a serious and life-threatening illness bipolar disorder can be. You know I take it seriously. I never said that bipolar disorder would be easy to handle. But I do always say that if you do the right things, you should at least be able to achieve stability with the disorder. And that’s the goal: Stability.

So, say your dream is to have a stable loved one. And you have other dreams – like maybe taking that cruise. Or traveling by car like that couple I told you about (who both have bipolar disorder, by the way). You are going to have some bad times, I won’t lie to you. But you can have good times as well. So the dream is to have a stable loved one and to someday do the

things you’d like to do.

Well, “the pursuit of the dream means more than the dream itself,” so the saying goes. Take joy in the little things along the way. Be glad for your loved one when they cross a milestone in their growth. Rejoice in every day that your loved one is not in an episode. And, even when they are, ride out the wave – it will be over sooner than you might think.

When you help your loved one to accomplish things toward their stability, you can feel satisfaction. Even if they do go into a bipolar episode, if you’ve prepared for it ahead of time, it won’t be as bad. There’s a lot of learning that occurs along the way. And, hopefully, by weathering these storms together, it will make you closer in the long run. That’s the pursuit.

Being closer is just a by-product of the pursuit of stability.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

You know, there used to be a time when everyone knew everyone else’s business. When it didn’t used to be gossip… But it just used to be such a close-knit community that it was just that way. You can see it played out that way in old movies. Or talk to your grandparents – they’ll tell you how it was in the “old days…” Or even some parents remember sitting on their porches on a summer’s eve… Visiting with neighbors… While the neighborhood children played a game of tag or hide-n-seek together. Whole neighborhoods even had block parties back then! That was when neighborhoods were safe, not like they are now. You didn’t have to be afraid of your neighbors back then. It’s a real shame the way things are now… With people not trusting each other, and afraid of their neighbors.

Here’s what I’m leading up to. I interviewed a man about his bipolar disorder, and he made the comment that bipolar disorder “is not exactly a casserole disease.” He said that what he meant by that is that in the old days, when someone was sick in your family, the whole neighborhood would come by and bring casseroles, so that you wouldn’t have to cook, you could just spend your time taking care of the sick person. He meant that those physical illnesses were accepted,

whereas bipolar disorder isn’t.

So do you tell people that your loved one has bipolar disorder? Or do you not tell anyone? Do you keep it to yourself? Do you only tell family? Do you only tell your closest friend? Do you tell your therapist (if you have one)? Or are you open about it and tell anyone who wants to know?

Unfortunately, stigma is still very real in our society today. Even though there have been so many advances in the field of bipolar disorder and research surrounding it… And so many more people have been discovered to have it even since when we found out my mother had it. When we found out that my mom had bipolar disorder, I had to go through that… I had to make that decision whether to tell anyone she had it or not. So we had to have a long discussion about it,

because I had to take her feelings into consideration, of course. She didn’t like having a label put on her, and I didn’t blame her. But it did put a name to what was wrong with her. And it helped us to become educated in order to help her better.

See, the thing about stigma is… It stems from fear. And fear comes from ignorance. I believe that the more educated people are about bipolar disorder, the less they will fear it (and the

people who have it). For example, did you know that there are some people out there today that are scared of people who have bipolar disorder because they believe that they can catch bipolar from them? It’s true, they honestly believe that! And the only way to battle stigma is to educate

people about bipolar disorder.

Still, it is your decision whether to tell or not to tell people that your loved one has the disorder.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I got a very disturbing email the other day. This man was telling me about what’s going on with him, and I have to tell you, he is not doing very well with his bipolar disorder at all. First of all, he was describing his symptoms, which was good. That, at least, shows an awareness that he knows his symptoms. He was saying what his diagnosis is (Bipolar 2)… Which is also good, because you should know what your diagnosis is, too. And he was saying that he had done some research on his diagnosis. And that’s good… But it can also be dangerous. And I’ll tell you why. And it’s because of exactly what this man went on to say in his email. He was describing how he was feeling… How his moods were shifting… And how each time his moods would shift… He would up this medication… Or change that medication somehow. In fact… He was playing doctor with his own bipolar disorder!

I’m telling you, that is the absolutely WRONG thing to do when you have bipolar disorder! It’s no wonder this man just kept getting worse and worse! He did… his moods kept fluctuating… And his symptoms kept worsening. And he was asking me what I thought he should do. I do advise people with bipolar disorder to become educated about their disorder, but never do I tell them to “play doctor” for themselves, as that can be dangerous!

But I’ll tell you what I thought he should do. First of all, I definitely thought he should stop playing doctor for himself, as, like I said, that can be very dangerous for him. The very first thing he should do is to TELL HIS DOCTOR what is going on with him! It is up to his doctor to make changes in his medication if they are necessary. But here’s the point: Your doctor cannot make any changes unless he knows what’s going on with you in the first place. And he can’t know what’s going on with you unless you TELL him! Your doctor is NOT a mindreader! You have to tell him what’s going on with you, or he’s not going to know, and he can’t help you. He depends on you to be a part of your own treatment, and to keep him apprised of any changes in your mood and your bipolar disorder between appointments. Otherwise he won’t know, and he can’t help you. You are the only link he has. But you have to tell him.

Like this man – He is suffering with these changes in mood and these active symptoms of his bipolar disorder, wanting things to change, wanting things to be better… But without telling his doctor. He’s just making changes in his medication by himself. And that’s why he’s not getting any better. You need to TRUST your doctor to do what’s best for you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews558/

Here are the news headlines:

FDA approves generic versions of Zyprexa for treating mental disorders
DO> Interesting news, take a look.

Mental health care not meeting VA standards
DO> This is absolutely so sad. I am mad about this, are you?

Researchers in ‘most powerful genetic studies of psychosis to date’
DO> What do you think about this?

On Mental Illness: Opinions on the Subject of Partial Relapse
DO> Wow, very interesting concept, take a look.

Brain Science: The Next Frontier
DO> Do you agree this is or space?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews558/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re doing well.

Remember when you were in school? Do you still remember your favorite teacher? Why?

Because they had some special quality that you admired? Because they made a boring class fun?

Because you learned so much from them?

These or any number of answers could be the reason why you still remember your favorite

teacher. But I want you to think of being a teacher in a different way today. Think of yourself as a teacher. You are, you know.

If you have bipolar disorder or are supporting someone who does, you are teaching every time you go out the door. You teach others what it is like to be someone with a mental illness or to support someone who does.

There is an expression, “You teach people how to treat you.”

Let’s talk about your behavior in general. If you have bipolar disorder and are stable, you will act a certain way. In fact, I know someone who has the disorder, but if you didn’t know better, you’d never know it. That’s stable behavior.

And if you can be like that, you teach people that people that have bipolar disorder can be just as “normal” as they are. You teach them that adversity can be overcome. You teach them that bipolar disorder is NOT a death sentence! You teach them that someone with the disorder can be high functioning.

If you have started your own home business, you teach your clients/customers that you are a good business person (in spite of having bipolar disorder).

If you are a supporter, you can teach other supporters. Just by virtue of the fact that you don’t complain about your situation, makes you a good supporter example. You teach them that bipolar disorder can be lived with. You teach them that the disorder doesn’t have to rule your life. You teach them that being a good supporter is possible. You may even teach them some

of your methods or strategies for dealing with it.

But in either case, whether you are someone with bipolar disorder or supporting someone who does, you are being a teacher – Because you are teaching them what bipolar disorder looks like.

Now, that can be good or bad, depending how you look at it. If you have it and are stable, you teach people that someone with bipolar disorder can act normally. If you have it but aren’t stable, you paint a different picture. You teach them that it’s a struggle to be stable.

Your bipolar behavior may make you stand out. And you may be the only person they know with bipolar disorder, so they will judge all other people with the disorder by you and your behavior. Stigma is a horrible thing, and has hurt many people with bipolar disorder. But if you can keep your bipolar behavior positive, you can teach people that you can cope with having it. That anyone can.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going?

I have an acquaintance with bipolar disorder that has a hard time with memory. From what I’ve heard, this isn’t entirely uncommon. For this person, it is very difficult to remember all but the most important things, if it happened more than a few days ago. He constantly has to have people remind him what had happened in the past, both good and bad.

Can you imagine if you couldn’t remember things very well? On top of all the other symptoms of bipolar disorder, those that deal with this have a hard time even remembering how their symptoms played out in the past! This person could argue about things that he had or hadn’t done – and be wrong!

Some people who have bipolar disorder also have memory problems, but maybe not to that extent. Maybe theirs is to the point that they can more or less remember things, but the details aren’t clear. Like, for instance, remembering that they took their medications, but they are remembering the wrong night. See how this can cause problems?

Memory problems are a hassle, and if they get too severe, medical attention may be necessary. But if they aren’t quite to that point, then there are some things that you can help your loved one do at home. Don’t get me wrong, regardless of how much it affects them, your loved one should always report these symptoms to their doctors.

One of the things that can be done to help with memory is checklists. This will help them remember if they’ve done something important or not, like taking medications or running an important errand. That will also help with organizational skills that might be lacking.

Another thing you can help your loved one with is simply to talk about events that have happened. If they still remember them, this will help solidify the memory in their minds. If they don’t remember them at all, this will spark at least an idea of what happened for them.

There’s a simple trick that can help with both memory and depression: activity. The more we stay active, the more our minds are stimulated, and then they work better. Staying active can be a number of things, ranging everywhere from exercise to doing hobbies or reading. There are very few things that don’t count as staying active, but I think TV would have to be one of them.

Getting the right amount of sleep is important to memory. When I say the right amount, I mean not too little and not too much. I know of a few people who sleep half the day and think that they need more sleep because they’re always tired, when really they’re just tired because of sleep overload. Getting too little or too much sleep can affect the way our brains work, and even someone who doesn’t have a disorder would suffer from a bad sleeping pattern.

There are mind games that have come out more recently that claim to help improve memory and brain abilities. These can be useful to help improve brain performance in general, as well.

Another thing you can tell your loved one that will help them is if they start taking notes or keeping a journal. Journals are good for writing down what has already happened; calendars are good for writing down what’s coming up. There are all types of things that can be done to improve memory, or to deal with the memory problems that are already there.

The most important thing to remember is to have patience with your loved one when they don’t remember something. It may be difficult at times for them to hear what had happened. But you can walk them through it so it’s not so hard.

What are your thoughts on all this?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave