Hi,
How’s it going?
I saw an interesting post that said:
I thought you were a wierdo on the make; taking advantage.I ignored most of the emails and felt angry.However today I have discovered the comments by other sufferers and this was because I realised you had words of comfort and wisdom in your updates which made me look further.
For some reason, I have gotten a few people this past week asking to work for me but then asking me questions suggesting that I was running some kind of scam.
Which obviously I am not.
I am glad this person sees that I am working hard to help. It’s no simple task.
I was reading a book and saw this quote:
I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened,” by Mark Twain.
I was thinking about this and it reminded me of many negative supporters who think everything will go wrong and nothing will go right.
Now bipolar disorder is serious and things do go wrong, but you just can’t be thinking about all the negative things all the time.
If you concentrate on all the worst things, you can’t help your loved one get better, because it will make you have a negative attitude.
Then your loved one will pick up on it, and they will have a negative attitude, too, and they won’t get better.
They’ll just start thinking, “I’ll never get better. I may as well just give up.”
It’s just like that Mark Twain quote. They’ll just start imagining all sorts of things.
Just like you.
If you start thinking about the worst things all the time, you’ll start imagining that things will happen, and they might not even happen.
Like you’ll be walking around on eggshells waiting for the next episode to happen, when it might be YEARS before the next time your loved one goes into an episode again.
And what if your loved one does the same thing?
In my courses/systems, I talk about how a positive attitude vs. a negative attitude can affect your loved one’s stability.
NEW
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I’m not saying that you shouldn’t plan for things that might happen. I’m not saying that at all.
You still have to plan but many times, people imagine the worst all the time.
You should still have your Episode Emergency Plan in place.
What’s that?
Well, even though you don’t want your loved one to go into an episode, and you shouldn’t be worried about it all the time, you should still have a plan in place in case they do. That’s just smart thinking.
What you do is, you make a list of all their medications (keep it current, too) with dosages and when they’re supposed to take them, and have it in a handy place in case they do go into an episode and have to go to the hospital.
Also keep a list (current) of their doctor, psychiatrist and therapist, with names, addresses, and phone numbers handy, along with all other contact numbers, like family, etc. for the same reason.
Also, if you have any documents, you need to keep these somewhere where you can get to them easily if your loved one goes into an episode and needs to be hospitalized.
For example, if you keep them in a safety deposit box and your loved one needs to go to the hospital on a Sunday, you won’t be able to get to the documents.
These are documents like a Power of Attorney and a Medical Release Form, that your loved one needs to sign in advance when they are NOT in an episode.
So what I’m saying is not that you expect the worst so that you’re in a constant state of worry, but you still plan for emergencies in case they happen.
You can still keep a positive attitude, especially for your loved one, but still be prepared at the same time.
You can, as the saying goes…
“Plan for the worst, but hope for the best.”
What do you think?
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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Hi David,
Im tired of being labled “Crazy” My family calls my past episodes “Crazy Spells” It hurts,but Ive distanced myself…One of the things that goes wrong for me is the fact that I have memory loss as a result of this illness. The DR. has absolutely no clue as to what can be done to help. Im being branded as stupid.and im not. im a good worker.Im dedicated. I just want to be able to take care of myself.I dont want to have to rely on anyone.
Having suffered from bipolar disorder for many years I found it interesting you position that those who have bipolar should just think about the good things connected with bipolar.
Over the years I have read many books on depression and the like. The ones that I have found most helpful are one that are compliations of those who have suffered themselves. Winston Churchill referred to his depression as the “Black Dog” and a book that I have read recently compared depression to a vine,wrapping itself around a tree, eventually choking the life out of it.
It is very easy to make the comments of how positive we should be when you are on the “outside looking in”. No matter what kind of things your mom experienced,you didn’t feel them yourself. You did not feel the wave of hopelessness that can come over a person, truly choking the life out of them, because you don’t when it will come and “when, or even if,it will end”
Well Dave your are right again, I do fine myself doing neg. things about my son bipolar, but he is now in jail again. We thought we where on the right track and trusted him to make good dissions. He will not take advice and always falls back into trouble, he is on his own now as it is in another town and we will not bail him out. He fell he has not hit bottom hard enough to make the changes he needs to handle his bipolar. John
Dear Dave: I read what u sent me and I understand what your saaying and I have suck by his side yet today he got kicked out of a place hes staying and called me to come get his things yet since I was at work he got mad and now he beleives i got him kicked out from the place and now im the devil. When he wants things he loves me yet when he cant get what he wants im the evil one aand the truth is im tired and in one month due to have his twins. I told him no I got tired of the waay he was talking to me and making me feel like the bad one . I told him its over and I want a man who adores me and loves me. I deserve that in my life and i am tired of rasing him like hes my child. He will 4 ever be in my heart but dave you have to know when to go. Thanks isabella
Thank you for your pro-active emergency plan. Put this in an organizational file that can be taken on the run?
Dave,
I have learnt that you can never move forard as long as you keep looking back. I have learnt that each new day is a new day growing and healing , also God’s grace and mercy to handle any thing that comes uo against you.
David
When I typed in the word “Schizophrenic” I had no idea that some of my frustration would be relieved when I got to your site.
I am looking forward to learning about bipolar and how to cope with my brother. There are so many questions that have already been answered just from reading your opening posts.
For sometime now I have ignored that my brother genuinely has this condition. At this point he is back in the Pyschiatric hospital; with no fault of his own. At least that is the message that I am getting from him. I would like to know how to get past the locked doors of information on his condition; the doctors and counselor say that they cannot give out info. without my brother’s permission.
Wow, this has become a bad way to deal with the problems he has created for himself and others. I am looking forward on how to help my brother so that when they do release him; he can continue on getting better.
Thank you for your time and caring enough to reach out.
Sandra
Dear Mr. Oliver,
I certainly appreciate receiving your frequent emails over the past few years regarding Bipolar Disorder/Borderline Disorder. I’m not completely sure of what illness my husband has, but he has been diagnosed as Bipolar three years ago. He is on medication that I don’t exactly agree with because it has made him go to the opposite extreme, as he just wants to rest and sleep and is like a “dud” as I would describe it. He only seeked out help because I had left him a 3rd time.
I feel at a loss because I lack the knowledge of what to do and I lack the understanding of what is really going on with him. It is stressing me out and taking a toll on my health. There is no way I can pay nearly $500 for your information. We are a single income family with 2 small daughters on the brink of home foreclosure. I desparatley wish I could speak with you or correspond with you. It’s really sad knowing there is something/someone out there that could help, but it is beyond my reach. So we are just left to suffer with no hope for the future.
dave i was wondering why do some doctors act like theres no help for us with this .mental disorder Iwould love to here about real help for us people .thank u sharon feeney
Dave: This is my first post. I have been in the medical profession for 25 years. I loved it. One of the doctors told me once that I could sell refrigerators to the eskimos. Typical bipolar personality? I am on disability now because of phyical problems and my bipolar disorder. I miss the days of working in hospitals and being able to help other people, patients and doctors. Your statement in my e-mail prompted me to send this first e-mail, I imagine it stung you quite a bit. It seemed to me like someone who does not have the knowledge to discern what is real and genuine from a scam. You are NO SCAM. You are a lifesaver to many, I AM SURE OF THAT. I can’t wait to check my e-mails every day and Doug, my husband and I are discussing which program we are going to obtain from you. You make it very difficult to chose just one.
I was diagnosed in 1985. I came in contact with Dursban,a chemical pesticide. It was used in my mom’s house, for a flea infestation on floors, furniture, everything. I was the one to go back in and clean. The next day I was like the bug that didn’t get killed, just twitching and jerking like the bugs do. It attacked my CNS. After that I couldn’t sleep for a week.
After talking with several doctors and a psychologist,
eventually went into a psych center. The psychiatrist there told me I was predisposed to manic/depression, and
that I was the firecracker and the Dursban lit the fuse.
I had been depressed and euphoric, each taking their own turn whenever the chemicals in my brain kicked in, but I did not know why I was that way. Bad way to find out but, nonetheless, I DID find out and things could have turned out much worse. So, how’s that for a positive thought, David Oliver? PS, you are right about the negative messages. I have read things I didn’t like
but there are many of us bipolar people out there that don’t want to be fed anything that would make us truly look at ourselves in a negative way. But it advances us to another level, that soul-searching level, and if we truly want to get better we have to take the bitter with the sweet. Not that I am saying you messages of negativity are bitter! It’s sure helped me to look at myself in another light, and we have to remember when we are reading negatives and applying them to ourselves, we are not just taking in information to help ourselves, we, although are being supported by a mate, need to take all of the information to heart, to
help them too. ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is so tough all my positive energy to help my loved one has been sucked dry and I am feeling like anxiety and worry because there is not much I can do. I am really worried about all the bazaar behavior and wish she would get some help but is in denial that she needs help at all, and is afraid to loose her kids if she did get help. I have been getting angry for she does not listen to my advice and would rather go make odd friends. I don’t even know where she is right now.
Sincerely,
Lost and over my head
This is the first e-mail I’ve received from you in several months. I’m not sure why they stopped coming or started up again so mysteriously. Just wanted to let you know.
HI There….
I just like to say my partner isnt on any meds. Can any one tell me where i can buy some happy pills from for him
he seems to be down all the time,or it mite be is age dose
any one else suffer from this or is it just us. O by the way a dont think any ones crazy its just your brain working over time.
Take Care Linda x
Angela Marie;
The psych. & its’ Drugs ruin the mind. ALL KNOW!
Please go to http://www.freedommag.com.au. or the cchr.
I find these to speak the Truth, for it is how it has been for me personaly for over 8 Years. See what you think.
Psych profs. tell me BP does NOT make one insane.
ALL Americas BEST Presidents where BP.
ALL who where or are anything, “Sportsstares” included ALL BP.
Da-Vinci…
Morning excercise, Omega 3,(Fish Oil, or Flacseed for Veg. Folk.) 3 to 5000mg, ADD Sunshine. Love Happeness… You know. Makes me feel well. Some state 9000mg Fish Oil?
Their are Vanila scented Capsuels, so as you don’t get that fishy smell, you know. Or the Flacseed. I do Both. Pound Flackseed with my Mortice & Pessil, add to Water, Consume.
I havn’t taken meds for Many Months, I feel fine.
Do NOT stop the meds all at once, slowly cut them back.
Also I read a MINUTE dose of Lithium is good for protection of the Brain, so I take 250mg per Day, I will cut it to each 2nd Day. I was on 2000mg Daily.
their is a depression gone in 3 minutes site. It has a Money back Guarentee.
Linda X;
Give him 5000mg or so Fish Oil. Sunshine excercise in the Morn, Love Happines.
Their is also a site called depression gone in 3 minutes.
It comes with a Money back Guarentee.
It is formed by a Guy who suffered Depression over 10 Years.
Unlike most this Guy is experienced.
To LINDA: Boy, do I WISH there WERE such a thing as a “happy pill!” Some antidepressants (prescribed by a doctor) can help people who are suffering from depression; but there are NO guarantees. We are ALL looking for the “magic pill” that will “make it all better.”
I’m in a “mixed episode” and VERY labile right now. I TRY to put on a “happy face,” and mostly succeed. However, this afternoon in my psychiatrist’s office, I walked in very upbeat, but when I mentioned going on Food Stamps, the “floodgates” opened, and I started to cry…all in a matter of a difference of 5 minutes! She proceeded to “up” my dosage of Zyprexa to 1 more at night, and, because I’ve developed a tremor, she’s putting me back on Artane. My “support unit” (people who are my VERY good friends; I have no live-in supporter), say I am “over-medicated,” and should get OFF some of the things I’m on. I argue back that if the shrink WANTS me to be on the meds, then she is RIGHT. Any thoughts??
I was stood-up by my blind date tonight, making things a little more murky. However, like the woman above who is relying ONLY on God for her “cure,” I have faith that things will turn around, and I can be “myself” again.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I was a supporter/lover of a man with borderline personality disorder. At the time when I met him, I only knew he had an addiction for methamphetamine. I just knew love would solve everything. Wow, was I wrong. After years of lies, abuse, stalking and emotional pain for both of us, I was told by his psychiatrist to leave because of physical abuse due to his borderline personal disorder. I did leave and moved 200 miles away. For the past year he has called me daily and is always desperate and always in trouble with the law. He makes the worst friends who are as scary as he is. He qualified for social security and tried to end his life 6 times. Now he blames me for his illness and addiction. He tells me because I left him his addiction is out of control and he is so hateful and verbally abusive. He is paranoid and thinks I arranged a recent break in to his house because I was mad at him. That I arranged it 200 miles away. He has called my boss and is trying to get me fired from my job. I am so tired of dealing with this behavior and it never stops! I never wanted to be mean to this man but he thinks nothing about hurting me and causing me emotional and physical pain. What should I do? Should I call the law? Will a restraining order send him over the edge? I know he has a gun and he threatens me with that too. I am scared and need advise from your readers who may have been in my shoes.
Thanks for listening. This helps being with others that have been there.
Sincerely,
Charlotte
To CHARLOTTE: PLEASE get an unlisted phone number, and if at all possible, move AWAY and don’t leave a forwarding address! I saw a frightening TV program about a “stalker” who, after the object of his affection, moved 200 miles away and started a new relationship, actually WENT to that city and posing as a Private Investigator, found out where she lived and worked. His obsession was so strong, that he tracked her down, tried to get her fired, and ultimately, followed her to a girlfriend’s house and cornered her with a gun. Needless to say, a tragedy ensued, and the woman was killed. Your very LIFE is in danger with this guy; my thoughts and prayers are with you. PLEASE try to do what I am suggesting – it COULD save your life.
Charlotte, You got to stand up to this dude. He thinks your frightened and uses it. Come on! I am women hear me roar…
If I were in your shoes I wouldn’t not be on this sight looking for help…try some thing like this…
http://law.jrank.org/pages/10451/Stalking.html
Hey Suzanne!
acg
Suzanne;
Tremmors are a sign of Lithium overdose,as is Thirst Dry Mouth. Waking with your Tongue stuck. Li OD also brings me down. I was once on 2000mg Daily. I cut it back. As afformentioned.
Drink lots of Water I find it lessens the unwanted effects. Of the drugs.
Guess you may have read my other postings.
As for the Date, better you did not have the 1st date if S/he is so shallow.
Stood up, so you arived to a no show, easy get another, a Dime a Dozen. Assess as many as it takes.Their are still plenty of great ones available.
I found Lithium is the best for me, it has least unwanted effects. Though you need Kidneys etc monitored.
Also the Woman with the depressed man, it is not of your doing. It is merely the way we are at times.
I was once.
I have had 8+ years of experience, still I know little. I do not fit any of the DSM.
Suzanne;
You where experiencing Lithium OD, I had it in 2000. I was forced to do 2000mg Daily, for Weeks.
OD signs, Tremmors, Thirst, Tongue stuck on waking.
These are to be watched out for, as this can lead to Kidney Failer, Liver, a shut down.
Also I found it made me depressed.
Psych. needed to only lower your Lithium dose, the other Drug will I believe have many more & worse side effects.
Also on Lithium you need Salt Normal table salt. Sodium Chloride. As Sodium attaches to the Lithium Ion for excretion.
Not enough Sodium intake, you may become Sodium deficient.
I read it in the Lithium users Handbook, also that is how I knew my Tremmors… where Overdose signs.
OMGosh I’m so lost and confused….I have been recieving these e-mails for almost 2years now…I love my boyfriend to pieces…but I’m so lost right now because he KNOWS he has a big problem…wants help but is afraid to get it…I keep telling myself not to think nagative stay positive…but he leaves and is gone for days…cheats on me…gets angry…drinks and does drugs and is just plain old messed up!! we have been friends for 9yrs…living together for 3 and I love him with all my heart…I have been trying to get him to a phychiatrist for over 3months…because of a DWUI he was court orderd to do counseling but his counseler after only 2 sessions said he needed more help then she could offer and gave him a number…I have called 10times and they don’t even reply…we live in a very small town and that phyc is over 70miles away and the closest…he has been in an episode for 3months now…I”M AT MY WHITS END!!!! part of me just wants to give up and walk away…..he is scared to take meds because when he was younger the WRONG ones were FORCED on him….I’m not appoised to natural ways but I know he just needs help….and right now so do I!!! I’m so lonley I have been trying soooooooooooo hard to keep things together…I have two kids that think he is the greats in the world…we were suppose to get married 3times now and because he has a “STORM” it hasn’t happened…I personally have been divorced and don’t care if we are married or not…living together is fine..but if he “NEEDS” or thinks he need the comitment I would do it for him…but NOW I just don’t know…I have looked and looked for supporter support groups in my area…the closest is over 200miles away and I live on NO MONEY due to having a handicapped child I don’t have work and live on her ssi of $300 a month and when I get childsupport I live on that to…but that has only been for 7months in 2yrs…so go figure…I feel so traped lost and confused……….if anyone ANYONE out there has real advice for me and would like to e-mail me or chat please please tell me here and we will figure out a way to get in touch…I will post my e-mail if anyone wants to give me advice or if your a supporter and just want a VENTING friend I would LOVE IT…let me know I will check back for a few days………thanks for reading this Love and Hugs
dear david
this email was sent just for me today. i have been so worried that my son will have another episode that ive made myself feel sick. i have realized that there is going to be up days and bad days ive just got to deal with what ever comes my way. its me as the supporter that has to be strong and positive.he is very good about taking his med which i make sure he never runs out of. its the lying that gets to me . we dont know how to get that out of him because hes done it all his life it seems like a way of life for him.but positive thought come to me everyday via your emails which keeps me positive.
thank you for all the great infor
love amber
Yes, everyone should have an emergency file of some sort, to list all the Medications, Dr’s name, address, and phone #’s, also, any personal friends or acquaintances, even, who just might know how or where to find your loved one if they are suddenly GONE, with no indication of why.
I became the primary care-giver for my adult son last summer, even though I live 2000 miles away, and he has 2 brothers and 2 sisters and a father living within 3 miles.
I started my list by visiting his favorite bar and talking to people who seemed to know him. I asked for their phone #’s and asked if I could call them if he came up missing. They all agreed. I keep my ears open when he is talkative, and inquire where his friends live and/or work. I don’t want to embarass him by calling them unneccessarily, so they understand it is truly an emergency if I contact them. So far, It has been a tremendous help. Do make a file.
ATTEN:DES;THIS MESSAGE IS IN REGARDS TO DES: POST FEB 18TH AT 3:49 A.M., I JUST READ YOUR POST AND WOULD LOVE TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE. MY NAME IS KATHY PLEASE FEEL FREE TO E-MAIL ME AT KTURTTLE@GMAIL.COM. TAKE GOOD CARE AND STAY POSTIVE AND ALWAYS REMEMBER GOD LOVES YOU AND WHEN YOU THINK YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH JUST HANG ON AND TIE A KNOT AND SWING FROM IT!:)
People do you know LOW CHOLESTROL can CAUSE Depresion?
Not only “antipsycotics.” & “Mood Stabelizers” or Bad experiences are responsible.
Yes Professors state MANY “Mental disorders” Have an underling CAUSE!
Chemical inballence is ROT. Firstly, Their is NO way of assessing the chemical nature of a living Brain, merely MORE Lies. From THE trade of FRAUD!
They also state: “It’s like insilin for Diabetics.”
They know it isn’t, when called to account for this,; they state:”It gets people to take their meds.”
WHY, People would ALWAYS take the Meds & see psych if they where 1/2 as good as we are told they are.
If they did anything resembeling what we are TOLD they do…..
Professors of psychiatry tell me via email. BP does NOT make you insane.
Why then are our Minds bodies souls & Families destroyed by psych. & its Drugs?
ALL the best presidents of the US….. Look it up ALL who where anything where BP.
I wonder is bi-polar born from anxiety and as the brain receptors react or over react then, we need to question why, what and when is causing it instead of running away from it and ultimately ourselves.if we are born into frightening world to an anxious or frightenened mother/father then our abilty to grow in an nurturing enviroment will leave us reaching adult hood with an immature mind.unless we address the issues which lead us to running away going on a manic high we wil carry on the same behaviour, If we accept ourselves like that, its fine,but we could also reach back to the child within who hasnt had a chance to develop into capable stable human being. A little book I discovered on numerology helped me recognise the person I had lost within myself in order to survive my crazy mixed up world.That it wasn’t about getting a job/getting husband /being a social butterfly, but being able to and growing into the person you really are and acheiving the type of goals for the type of person you are, Rather than feeling inadequate becaue your parents or siblings or the people you live with seam to live un reachable lifestyles, and you are either running to catch up then running to escape what you weren’t comfortable with. Instead of being strong in yourself ,accepting your different nature and then try to become that person and live a life you are happy with, I am a number 7 and this is the book I got it from.ISBN 1-86019-713-2 , Brockhampton reference numerology, brockhampton press london.
lucinda
I wish I had found your site sooner, its is packed with helpful issues. Unfortunately it came far too late for my friend who suffered bi polar. I have not been on the internet for very long and feel that if I had found your site sooner I could maybe of helped him more. By reading your articles, I can now see and understand the disorder far more and have managed to come to terms with his death. Its been so hard not to blame myself for what happened, you see I had taken a few days away for a break and had failed to read the signs that everything was not right. Keep up the good work. Regards Chris