==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
Hi,
How’s it going? I kind of have to make
this really quick because I have a meeting
to be at in about 45 minutes.
Anyway, I saw this posted on my blog:
Pat said…
the need to a correct treatment plan.
Boy that sounds so simple!
What do you do with the person with the bi-polar
disorder who:
1. lacks insight about how their bi-polar is
affecting them and those around them?
2. Is non-compliant about taking medication?
Forgive me for seeming so negative.
I am a tired out mother of a 26 year old son
who is in the midst of an episode that swings
from mania to paranoia to depression. Who has
the problems listed above.
We have moved him out of our house to a nearby
city that has excellent mental health resourses,
now the question is will he avail himself of
these services.
We are all on a huge learning curve when it
comes to this bi-polar disorder.
Any tips?
Pat
=========================================
This post was in reference to a daily
email that I sent in regards to many people
forget that they have to focus on getting a
loved one on the right treatment plan.
Anyway, many people wrote me back via email
and posted on my blog.
I wanted to address Pat’s question by
saying, there is no easy way to deal with
her two problems.
There is no way that I can just email out
a simple solution to a very complex problem.
In my bipolar supporter course, I must have
maybe 25 methods for getting someone into
treatment. There is no one magic method
that will work no everyone. To make
matters worse if you have someone who
doesn’t want to go into treatment and
you find a method to get them in, if
another episode comes, many times whatever
technique you used won’t work again.
It’s sad but true. It’s really annoy.
Anyway, I guess my advice to Pat is to
realize that it’s going to be difficult,
she is going to have to try a number of techniques,
and it’s going to take time for her son to
accept he needs treatment and needs to continue
to take his medications.
I have a bunch of courses/systems on dealing
with bipolar disorder, whether you are supporting
an adult, child or have the disorder yourself.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
In these courses/systems, when you listen to the
interviews, you hear bipolar supporters talk about
various techniques to get someone into treatment
or get someone to realize they have a mental
illness. On the flip side, when you listen to
the interviews of people with bipolar disorder
many talk about it took them several years to
come to terms with their bipolar disorder.
BUT, most people who do well had bipolar
supporters to help them through this period.
Meaning, it’s rare that someone was way off
track with bipolar disorder and got themselves
back on track without any support or help
from someone else.
Does that make sense? Meaning once people
with bipolar disorder aren’t stable it because
really difficult for them to make the right
decisions and it requires people like us–bipolar
supporters–to help get them back on track.
It’s all very confusing and unfortunately when
it comes to this aspect of the illness, there is
no one solution. There are lots of potential
solutions that have to be tried.
I wanted to write this because there are thousands
of people on my lists looking for that one
major solution but in my opinion there isn’t
one.
Hey I have to get ready for my meeting. I will
catch you tomorrow.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Hello, I have a husband who does take his medications right now and took a heavy fall mentally because he stoped taking his medications for awhile. I found out that he stoped taking his meds two weeks after he told me. He was trustworthy at one point and was faithfully taking his meds. But then he stoped without thought of how much he was hurting our family for not taking it. Even though he has been taking his meds he says all kinds of mean things and he is selective about what he he wants to say and do. I need help with being a suportive spouse without allowing his lack of concern about himself take me down the wrong path. He won’t accept his own illness and walks around like he is healed from it while he say and behaves out of order. But I understand that its a problem, I just don’t know how much of it is bi-polar or his lack of some self control and realizing that he has an illness. Does he not know that he is ill at all?
Hi Pat.
I’m in the same boat as you.My 24 year old son won’t acknowledge anything’s wrong with him.He was diagnosed with Bipolar II, so he thinks it’s not so severe and he can control it by himself.He won’t take meds because the first doctor he saw gave him meds that made him worse, then the doctor got mad at HIM for not cooperating after he tried to explain he wasn’t getting better.I even wrote a letter to the doctor with my observations, but she just blew it off!I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to go back to her.Unfortunately,we have very limited choices for mental health care where we live.My son has been out of work now for 4 months-I have to pay for his Cobra insurance because he has no money and can’t get insurance any cheaper on his own since he is considered too high a risk. He just moved back home after living 200 miles away because he lost his job (due excessive absenses due to an episode)and then was so depressed that he wouldn’t look for work! Now he’s out of money. We are trying hard not to enable him or bail him out, but it’s hard. For example, he crashed his car, and we refuse to fix it for him. He lost his cell phone and I won’t buy him another one. We have set some house rules for behavior now that he’s back living at home and hope he can abide by them.(He tends to abuse alcohol and pot, which he fails to see only make his condition worse!)On the positive side, now that he’s back home I will be able to see first hand when he’s going out of control and hopefully the next time he does I can convince him to go get treatment. It will be harder for you with your son moving away-even with better access to health care, if he’s like my son, he won’t go and will deny he’s that bad. My son tends to run away when he gets in an episode, and won’t answer my calls.I have found there is a very small window of time to convince him to go get help. If I miss it, I have to wait for the next blowup because he will then go into denial mode.I know we’re headed towards some very frustrating times ahead, but I’m hoping that now he’s close by again, I’ll be able to take advantage of that brief window of opportunity – I’m working on getting a plan in place while he appears to be stable at the moment. But I’m finding I am always having to revise my plan!!My hardest part will be finding a psychiatrist in my area. I am going to send out letters like David recommends in his support program. We have only a handful of psychiatrists where we live, and most aren’t any good!We have to drive out of our county 100 miles to get emergency care for mental health.But I’m not giving up!Somehow he’s managed to make it this long- looking back there must have been some miracles involved since he’s still alive, which gives me hope!My son is supposed to start a new job this week if he can pass the drug test – which I don’t see how he can, but like I said, he has managed to be the receipient of some miracles!(I do pray a lot!!!)Good luck to you and your son!
Hi Dave! As you know I have Bipolar Disorder and I can tell you that there’s some people who won’t be helped, specially when they’re depressed. I didn’t like to take any medications, but I wanted to take back my recover! I think that Pat most to focus on try to find a better way on her son’s depression and make a teamwork with his Doctor(not only drugs, but therapy) I’m sure that he will find his recover soon! My best wishes for all. Thanks Dave!
Dave,
I am starting to come out of my depression from my cat dying. I am looking forward to your book to help me out of the financial mess I got myself into last October when they tried out a new medication with severe opposite effects. I am almost $1000 in debt from that dark month. I was also being threatened at the same time in October by my family that they were going to pull the financial rug out from under me (almost every other day since I was put out of work). I had been taking my meds and going to a therapist. Until last October, I had not made any mistakes financially. Yet, they continued to scream at me. My only contacts with them were their always screaming at me. It finally sent me to the hospital from the stress of it the Spring. They also had sent me to the hospital with the stress of their constant screaming and threats before. A total of 3 times. It is vital to make supporters aware that this is not the victim’s fault that they are sick. There is nothing more horrifying than having to be a ward of your parents again when you yourself are a grandparent. I have made every effort to get them to come to family counseling, join a support group for supporters, etc.. The only time I am at peace and in balance is when they are gone on vacation. I cannot take stress and which two different therapist implored my dad not to add stress to my life. It fell on deaf ears. I wish I could care for myself, but my illness has simply become too severe. I wish I wasn’t a burden to my family. Every day, I have to talk myself out of suicide because of the strain my illnesses, both mental and physical, are placing on my family. Now, after 7 years, I finally was approved for Disability. It is going back all the way to when I was put out of work. My dad and his wife, who have provided financially for me, are getting all of the back pay and bullied me into being my payees. They are getting back all of their money, yet they are still yelling at me every day. I at least vent before talking to them so that I can speak to them without anger. I wish that they would do the same. Maybe then, I wouldn’t have suicidal thoughts all of the time. I can take the illness, it is being unloved that I cannot take.
Sigh… i’m doing the medication “dance” with my daughter. I remember talking with one psychiatrist who said that if you don’t take Paxil exactly at the same time every day, you get ZERO effect and that’s even if you’re only 15 minutes off.
Every other weekend or so, my daughter misses a dose and thinks its “no big deal”. Now I don’t know.. it really does depend on the medication so guess its time to call the psychiatrist who does NOT like talking with me, as daughter is 29 and much of her treatment plan is getting her to be in charge of her life.
However, that’s my chore this week, dagnabit cause i think that may be what’s keeping her from stabilizing. Tyically he ups a dose of something and she’s ok for a few days; then whammo she’s back to sleeping 20 out of 24 hours a day.
Khadeeja, I think Dave talked about the griefing process not too long ago.. if you can dig that out it will explain you husband’s behavior. Any major stressor means initially we go into “denial” or “numbness” taking in that our life is irrevocably changed. After that “anger” and “depression” which may flip/flop. It’s important to KNOW the anger is not about you tho its often directed at you; it really is anger at having a chronic illness… and the fact that its a very difficult to control illness. “Bargaining” is the next stage which is where our loved one may attempt to control the disease by playing with their meds. At some point they come to a point of “Accewptance” and working out a plan for living that’s individualized and works for them.
(hugs to us all.. especially Dave)
I wish I could afford your packet, but just under $200 might as well be $2000 to someone on SSI. Also, it is doubtful that a payee would allow such a large dollar purchase when funds are so scarce.
My son is now homeless. He had not worked in over a year. He was living with me and friends. He sold everything he owned for money and the last thing he sold was his car. Naturally the guy that purchased his car took advantage of him because he knew he needed money. He took the money and went to Hawaii over a month ago. He has not been in touch with any of the family. I know of his whereabouts because he opended an account and used my address and a bank statement came to my house addressed to him.
My mother recently received a collect call from a jail but she did not accept it. I feel that it could have been my son.
I pray that I hear from him some day. It is sad that it is so hard to help people that have brain disorders. You can kill yourself trying. It is impossible to explain the why’s of mental illness but I do know that we need a better system for them. They seem to end up in the justice system and from there it goes from bad to worse. If they could get the help they needed and that includes help with drugs and alcohol, I think they could have a much better start once they get out.
I pray for all of you with the illness and those of you as supporters. Take care of yourself otherwise you will ruin your life trying to help your loved one. I hope some day soon we will have more help in dealing with mental illness and the support and education that is so well needed.
Take care.
I have Bipolar.The side effects of the medication scare me more than Bipolar does.So yes,I can see someone not wanting to take them.
I still have good days and bad days, so what does it matter?
Hello: I have Bipolar and have for some time,I’m on a lot of different meds. doing really good and just when I wasn’t looking WHAM!! I got hit why? I don’t know I have gone from normal to crying sad mad in 0 to 60, yes a lot going on in my life( stress) going to the DR’s tomarrow so there’s always hope. Pray never give up and always trust in God to guide you, for without him I would not be here. Just keep fighting.
R said…
i have a suggestion for anyone with bi-polar who will not take their meds. a family and friend intervention. basically the caregiver would assemble as many caring and interested parties, especially friends and significant others who will voice their concerns and observations of the person during a bi-polar episode to tell the person how their behavior has changed and is affecting others
noting the many losses in the bi-polar’s life without meds. take a video or audio-tape of the bi-polar episode to show the person how they are and how others see them. use the evidence whenever the person backslides, or decides to backslide from taking their meds. for anyone who lives with the bi-polar person, have them take the meds in front of you and make sure they swallow. doctors tend to overprescribe, so don’t tirade up the meds past the functioning point. go on as few meds as possible, to prevent side effects and unnecessary interactions. be involved with the daily affect a med has on the patient. if the med doesn’t work effectively after 2 months, change the med. have the bp person keep a daily journal with feelings and occurences with a list of the meds taken at the time. this way, you have a history of what works and what doesn’t. also the bp person has a written, visual, and auditory record of their behavior with and without meds. if that’s not convincing then a loss of something in their life might convince them, take away something they want until the meds are adhered to. i hope this helps.
common sense in an uncommon world.
i forgot to mention, always have a supply of klonipin available, it is a lifesaver in keeping your loved ones out of the hospital before a bout of insomnia gets out-of-hand. make sure your bp loved one’s gets a full night’s sleep. lack of sleep is a trigger for an episode, so don’t let it get out of hand. you may need to raise meds during this time to keep from going over the edge. then when sleep sets in again
tirade down. anixiety and bi-polar are often concurrent, klonipin helps sleep and anxiety. watch your stress level, that’s the main trigger in any episode. good luck.
I feel for you all . . . My son is 27 and absolutely refuses anymore meds. Thankfully (knock wood) for the past couple of years he’s been doing quite well but who knows when the “bottom will fall out.” I’m sure you can all relate to that.
I’m not usually a “joiner” as I’m quite the loner and not many understand bipolar but I so love the e-mails I get and reading the blogs.
It’s awfully nice to find others who are in the same boat. Thanks.
Wow! So much pain in these blogs…I wish I could make a real big GROUP HUG for supporters, as well as sufferers; bipolar disorder IS a VERY misunderstood and varied mental illness.
What works for one bipolar does not work for another. Constant regulation of the medications one takes is crucial. I have been on a regimen of Depakote, Zyprexa, PaxilCR and Valium for over 10 years, and have NEVER stopped taking them. Having NO supporter, I AM alone in the managing of bipolar, so KNOW I HAVE to take my meds or I WILL become manic and “over the edge” and require intervention, or worse, hospitalization. At this time in my life, I feel if I am hospitalized again, I will NEVER come out of it…
I started out with the diagnosis of schizophrenia 39 years ago (they didn’t even have manic-depression as an alternative then), and the meds they put me on were toxic to my system. There was NO follow-up after my 3 hospitalizations, so when I suffered from clinical depression for a year after my final (and I hope last) hospitalization, I went to the Community Mental Health Center, and was put on Disepramine, which alleviated my depression. I have kept in touch with the Center ever since.
During my last hospitalization, the diagnosis of “manic-depression” was made, and I was put on Lithium. It made me sick after I was discharged, so I stopped taking it. AND, I had to have periodic blood tests, which I didn’t want. THAT led me into the depression.
Finally, in 1990, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and have kept to the above regimen ever since. A change in my antipsychotic was made last year, and it made me sick. I was changed back to the Zyprexa, and now am fully functional.
So, PLEASE TAKE YOUR MEDS, or see to it that your loved one does. This is VERY important. The meds, plus cognitive (talking) therapy are the two most viable resources for allowing the bipolar sufferer to be maintained and able to live as “normal” a life as possible.
God bless ALL sufferers and supporters – this is NOT an easy life; but we were never promised a rose garden. Just do the best we can with what we’ve got, and let the Lord sustain us with His mercy.
One of the biggest problems with bipolar patients is ego. Suddenly these people have to listen to and follow the directions of a doctor. Taking meds prescribed by a doctor is not always compatible with ego swings. What works best in my experience is to get bipolar patients under the care of a nurse practitioner with prescriptive priveleges. They are pretty much universally humble people. Medication management meetings are usually only about $50-$80 instead of $300 with a psychiatrist. The meetings with them are always on a much more equitable level, and they know when they need to call in a psychiatrist. Going to a nurse takes about 80% of the “sting” out of taking meds when you don’t associate it with the ego being crushed by the ego of a psychiatrist. Most of the rejection of meds is the bipolar swings rejecting the feelings of being kicked around by a doctor. You have to remember, you are not dealing with logic with a bipolar patient, you are dealing with primate/animal drives that are vying for dominance. Take out the dominance fight, and you take out a large part of the resistence.
i have been diagnosed with these so far. p.m.d.d female problem
anxiety panic disorder, ocd dissorder. post tramtic disorder, i am an anorexic bulemic off again on problem. i have migraines. i have seasonal depression and depression. i have been diagnosed with adhd in the top 2% of the worst cases, and now i am being diagnosed with bi polar, how can one person have all of these problems. is it possible
here are the problems i have encountered. so far. menegitits at 3 years old. diagnosis learning disablity –severe brain damage is what the psy dr. told my parents.
i have had an eating disorder both types since the age of 17. i got married and had a son when i was 19 who died of S.I.D.S I am now 36 years old. i had a bad first marriage. went to see a psy and he diagnosed me with post tramtic–panic anxiety disorder and the eating disorders i got down to 112. i left my drug addicted husband. had a baby with my second husband . he was explosive and a druggy . i met my third husband my tubal from the second husband didnt work and i have had 8 misscarriages in the last 8 years one almost every year we have been married, i just recently found out that i was not legally adopted i was taken out of my home at 2 weeks of age, because i refuse to speak to my adoptive parents until they give me proof to show this was all legal -which we have found out wasnt , i wont speak to them so they called the police stating that they were afraid for the safety of my child there grandchild. making false accusations! before all of this with my parents i found out that my son had been abuse my an older cousin. because the cousin is a minor nothing was done! so with all of this my psy doesnt even know where to start counciling me and she is a harvard grauduate, so with all of these life changing events how can they ever make the right diagnosis.on to of all this everybody that i trusted has lied to me my parents my husband everybody. so who can i trust? just about the time i think i am doing okay life hits me hard and this time my eating disorder is full blown. i dont drink or take drugs to escaped i even have been working out but nothing helps except the eating disoder right now. what am i suppose to do. i have been on prozac lexapro paxil and zoloft with no help. i am now on replax for my migraines but nothing is taking the pain away. i have God as my soft place to fall if you will but i am at a loss. my sister in law is due in november which is the same month as my son that died from s.I,D,S TOO MUCH TO HANDLE ALL AT ONCE what do i do i have an appoint with my psy but it doesnt seem to help.
heart of glass: I have an excessive tendency to suspect bad food reactions any time people talk about weight loss problems. They ran all kinds of diagnosis by me and drugs by me for years until one fine day I listen to a “nut” and I go on this diet eating nothing but cantelopes, canned tuna fish and avocados. In three days flat, all my worst symptoms went away leaving me with four 70K+ job offers in four days. That diet left me with a very manageable condition. The problem: bad reactions to wheat (including oats, barley, rye and others in that botanical family), dairy (in any form), and soy. It would be nice if the diet was ALL the problem, but alas it was only 90%.
Hi. I was diagnosed as having bi-polar in 1999. I take olanzapine (zyprexa), which I couldnt do without. One thing my dad said to me about 4 years ago, was this. “Kate. Don’t let your bi-polar be an excuse for your bad behaviour.” Although I didnt like him at the time for saying this I have took the challenge on to deal with this and although its difficult to face the dark side of myself, its helping me grow and mature.
“HeartofGlass” – WOW!! You sure have had your share of a rocky road during your life, haven’t you?? I wouldn’t be surprised at a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder AT ALL. As to your weight loss – after two months on a psychiatric ward, I went down to 78 pounds, was diagnosed with anorexia, and sent to a State Mental Hospital to DIE. The DR on the ward had been prescribing TOO many drugs, and they suppressed my appetite, so that I wasn’t eating.
After four months in the State Mental Hospital, I went up to 110 pounds, and was released. I DIDN’T die, as the DR had supposed. As luck would have it, that DR was an alcoholic, even though he treated alcoholics at the State Mental Hospital years after I knew him. He ultimately committed suicide – I was secretly glad. Now, I KNOW that isn’t the proper way to feel about somebody, but he nearly KILLED me. I feel justice was done…
And having 8 miscarriages in as many years is BOUND to make you depressed. If your DR has correctly diagnosed you with bipolar disorder, PLEASE follow his treatment plan and TAKE YOUR MEDS. I understand you’re 36 now; I lived through the loss of two husbands, having married for the first time at 36. Both of them died; I did not have to suffer through a divorce…
I have a lot of physical problems as well. When I was 11, I had a traumatic accident at school (ruptured duodenum from falling UP the stairs), and was in the hospital for 3 months. The DRs said that if my parents had brought me in 30 minutes later, I would have died. I had blood transfusions in one arm, and IV saline in the other. On top of that, I had a nasal tube draining blood from my stomach for 11 days. Now, I know you may feel this is more than a child should have to endure, but years later, I realized that the Lord saved me for a purpose.
THAT is what YOU have to learn – you are HERE for a reason. Maybe you’re not going to save the world, but you can save your small portion of it. Look to the Bible for life wisdom, and continue to pray. Prayers ARE answered, maybe not the way you want, but you can look BACK and see that they were.
I wish you love and much courage to make it through your difficult life. You DO deserve better. As far as suicide is concerned, my first shrink said, “God does not want Man to do anything that harms Man.” And THAT is the truth.
God bless you, every one.
Hello Dave:
I could write a book about bi-polar disorder. I have lived with it for 42 years. My husband has the disorder and I can tell you that it isn’t any fun. His doctor told me on the last visit, that the older a patient becomes, the frequency of the mood swings. I agree. Also, even if he takes the drugs (which he does), if something tramatic happens in his life, he could very well become manic. But, we are in this together and I will stand by him whatever the mood he is in.
I wanted to thank you for your e-mails everyday. The are very educational and I don’t feel like I am alone in this constant battle. I hope and pray your Mom stays well and happy. After all, that is what life is all about.
Thanks for listening and God Bless you and your efforts to educate people.
Marilyn