Hi,
I hope you’re having a good day.
Do you like getting advice from people?
Especially when you don’t ask for it?
You know what I’m talking about.
Like those people who have an answer for everything.
And they pass out advice like candy.
And to anyone, whether that person listens to them or not.
They act like they’re a know-it-all. Nobody likes that kind of person.
But practically everyone knows someone like that.
Someone who gives advice even though they don’t know what they’re talking about.
Do you know what I mean?
Watch advice from those that have no clue what they are talking about.
This happens with bipolar disorder.
I can’t tell you how many people try to tell me what I should get my mom to do to manage her bipolar disorder.
Even when I am not asking and she is 100% fine!
People still insist my mom should do this, that, or the other thing.
Or people who give me advice (that I don’t ask for) on what medication would be the best for her to take.
That’s one of the biggest reasons why you won’t see me doing that in any of my courses or systems. I will never tell you what medications you should take, because I can’t give advice
on that, because I’m not a doctor!
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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I use to get mad when these people would give me advice about my mom and her bipolar disorder.
But now I just listen and nod my head but never of course tell my mom any of these crazy ideas I hear (like my mom should only eat organic and that would make her bipolar disorder go away).
By the way, and this is a STRONG warning, NEVER listen to advice that tells you that anything will make your or your loved one’s bipolar disorder go away, because nothing will. There is
NO cure for the disorder, medical or natural.
No matter how convincing the person or advertisement sounds, or how sincere the advice or the person giving it, don’t fall for it – it is BAD advice!
People will tell you the craziest things about how to manage your bipolar disorder.
They might tell you that if you just take vitamins instead of your bipolar medication, that you will be ok…
But that could be so dangerous for you (or your loved one)!
You (or they) could even die, and that’s a scary thought.
That is BAD advice – don’t listen to it!
Or they will tell you that just drinking water will make you get better.
Well, the problem with that is that it is a half-truth.
And that makes the WORST advice!
Because it SOUNDS true, and it makes it easier for you to believe.
The real truth is that you need to eat a healthy diet (and drinking water is part of that) to maintain stability with bipolar disorder.
But eating a healthy diet BY ITSELF is not going to make you get better.
Only combined with medication and other things will help you get better.
Do you see what I mean about listening to bad advice?
It sounds like the person knows what they’re talking about, but they really don’t.
Or someone who says that so and so told so and so who told them that this is the best medication for people who have bipolar disorder.
So they give you advice to take it too.
Well, I’m always telling you that everybody is different, and what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another person.
Because I want you to get better the right way.
Have you ever been given bad advice?
What happened?
Post responses below
It’s so good to hear about the “advice” problem from someone who’s also suffered from it! We’ve got it so much from so well-intentioned & some not so well-intentioned friends & relatives about our son who has fairly recently been diagnosed with bi-polar, which I, his mom, also have, though not as severe. Some people with this illness function very well, eg, I graduated from college with honors & have successfully held jobs, good friends & so forth.
Our son, however, hasn’t faired as well. He is charming & intelligent, but has consistently made very bad choices. We’ve pulled our hair out & have been blamed & have blamed ourselves as well for “doing that”, “not doing this” etc blah blah! You know how it goes. Well, it has been heartbreaking as he is our only son & now is in serious trouble with drugs. Apparently, people with mental illnesses often “self-medicate” with illegal drugs. I hope I can help others who have these problems/experiences by sharing understanding, love, & whatever help I can give. You’d be surprised by how many “crawl out of the woodwork” with similar, if not worse, problems!
So we have to HANG IN THERE, take the meds, adjust as necessary, & as you say, learn and make healthy life choices regarding diet, exercise & mental & spiritual attitude.
Thanks for your newsletter.
AYE DAVE……
Ye I no a no it all….Wot do you do with these type of people they make thing worse dont they….I think they need to go and have a good word with them selfs and stop interfering in other peoples lifes when there own life is worse than your own life.
Take Care Linda x
You are right Dave, there is always someoe around trying to make us believe that we will be cured just because s/he knows better, and it is very nice of you to make us notice how dangerous can this advice be.
I have a well meaning friend that said I could stop my bipolar meds and take vitiams and I would be all better and finally my bipolar would go away if I just kept on taking the vitiams. I did not take her advice. Then another person I kniow advised me (unwanted advice) to just stop taking my meds competely as she did not believe that I am biplar at all. I did not take her advice either. In fact I said well maybe you should stop taking your meds for ms as maybe you don’t have that either. She is NOT a doctor and I did not follow her advice at all. I am glad you wrote that artice as there is a lot of misconceptions on there about bipolar and misinformed folks are trying to push their ill informed ideas on people that are bipolar.
As I’ve stated before, my Mom wasn’t a very Good Supporter. She did NOT believe in mental illness, much less manic depression and/or bipolar disorder. No daughter of her’s was crazy! Her major advice to me was to STOP my medication, as it seemed to make me WORSE instead of better. All the arguing and trying to convince her that this was the ONLY route, only prompted more yelling and screaming. AND – my Mom didn’t do this during childhood OR adolescence. No, I was in my 20s when I had my 3 hospitalizations for mania.
Following her passing, my next-door neighbor said – “Your Mom treated you like you were 3 years old!” And – being a disinterested observer, she was more than likely, right. Short of taking my hand to cross the street, my Mom was a “Mommy Dearest” who never let me make a decision on my own.
It just went to show that, during my final (I hope) hospitalization (at 29), I made plans to go to San Francisco (from my home in VA), by myself, for a week, and she thought that even my PLANNING such a vacation was a BAD choice! Employees travel all over the place in their jobs; I just felt COMPELLED to go to CA – so I went! I was working then, and between jobs (my new job was to start when I got home from CA, so it all worked out GREAT!).
How does anyone else handle an overprotective parent/spouse? I know it was a symbiotic relationship, but being bipolar, I didn’t know how to emancipate myself from it. The ONLY times I got to do what I wanted, when I wanted to, was during hypomania, which led to full-blown manic episodes. Was I “acting out” with my Mom? If I had ALL the answers, I’D be writing this Blog instead of Dave!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I had a family member tell me recently that ‘MOST people just go take a walk or something’ when they experience what I described as having a episode was like and had difficulty controlling my surroundings and become suicidal. I told her that not only was her advice wrong, unsympathetic, but it was dangerous. People like her who give out uniformed advice are actually a Danger. I told her that her advice could actually cost someone their life.
Very true kle you have to watch wot your saying to some one in a episode….
Take Care Linda
Dear Dave et al,
My name is Lynn and I’m a recovering alcoholic. I also live w/Bipolar II Depression every day.
Unfortunately, there are people in the 12th-Step Programs that try to give advice. And I’ve personally heard of abt. 3-4 cases in which someone was told to go off their meds, ‘that they weren’t sober’ if they were taking their meds. It’s very frustrating. And some of these people have ended up in the hospital, or worse, have taken their own lives. Thanks for keeping on talking to us and teaching us abt. our disease. We need you.
Hi David, My name is Loretta and I am married to a man who has been diagnosed with Biopolar since he was 18 years of age, and on June 6, 2009 he tried to kill me by choking me, can a person with this illnes become volient? And if so, what makes this like this? Please respond as I do need help. By the way he did go to jail and has been been charged with Domestic Assualt With Stragulation…
Loretta;
“Medication” makes me/us violent.
Same as if we stop taking it too quickly, the Whithdrawel effect that the quacks LOVE.
They love it as they tell ALL it is Proof we need the “medication” for life…
Of course they know we will stop taking “medication” as soon as we are out of the institation, they rely on us doing it too suddenly.
Must wean off SLOWLY.