Hi,
How are you? I am going to make this really
short today because I want this message
to be clear.
If you have a loved one who has bipolar
disorder and he/she gets violent
and beyond your control, and the police
must be called, you should tell
the police right away the person has
bipolar disorder. Ask if the person
listening to you knows what bipolar
disorder is.
If not say something like:
“Bipolar Disorder is a mental illness
that can cause a person to change his/her
moods from mania or a high to depression
or a low. When my loved one is not feeling
well, he/she can do and say things that
they normally would not. I just need you
to help me get him/her to the hospital
or treatment. I don’t you to shoot
and kill my loved one.”
Ask the police to send people who have
experience dealing with someone with a
mental illness.
Make sure when the police arrive you
are there and remind them the person
has bipolar disorder.
Keep telling them not to shoot and kill
so they think first instead of just shooting.
Sadly, someone on my list didn’t follow
these instructions and her loved one with
bipolar disorder was shot.
If you get my courses/systems at:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You notice that a number of people in
the interviews who have bipolar disorder
have been arrested. Many have said they
have no memory of what they said or did
to the police. The supporters of the people
in my interviews with my courses/systems
tell me that sometimes these loved ones
were totally out of control and without
their intervention would have been probably
shot by police.
NOTE-It’s not the police who are the problem,
it’s the person who is not stable who has
bipolar disorder who is the problem. People
get mad at the police for shooting at people
with bipolar disorder but I must say, if
you put yourself in the position of a police
person with let’s say a family and someone
runs at you with a knife screaming and yelling,
you might wind up shooting if you were a police
person.
THE KEY TO THIS IS TO GET PEOPLE WITH BIPOLAR
DISORDER WITH THE RIGHT TREATMENT
With the right treatment plan, you never will
have to be dealing with the police (probably
I guess I should never say never).
Hey I have to run.
See you tomorrow when I send the news.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
One of the most important things about being BP is safety issues, The police have their hands full at times and will respond very helpfully, if you let them know the person is BP or whatever they have. I was diagnosed almost 15 years ago,and after a lot of therapy now live a productive life. I took care of my parents for the past 7 years, I did it without any resentment, anger, or any other negative response. It wasnt easy, but i have had police help years ago when i was out of control and living on my own. I have been a bachelor now for over 17 years, so i am responsible for my actions, I take my meds as called for, keep a saftety net under me at all times, and just wanted to say that what you are doing is fantastic regarding taking care of someone with BP. ITs a tough task to do, especially if the person is abusive.I am 6 foot,250 pounds and not a small person by any means and know i cannot allow my BP to get loose….The police can and do help if you tell them that the person has a mental problem, they will call your clinic to get a person on call to talk with you and if needed, go into the hospital for a while to get whatever put you in that place worked out. I have been homeless, without insurance, had to scramble for meds and its not easy at all. But if the attitude is right, adn sometimes we have no clue that our attitude has changed, anything can be accomplished…………thank GOd i have straight friends (not BP) who keep an eye on me to make sure i am ok and my attitude is in the right place…….you are doing a good service to anyone who has to either deal with being BP or someone who has to caretake one…….Thanks for helping people out there……..God Bless
my boyfriend is by polor
I am afrriad he is going to kill himself he has become paranoid acusing me of cheating on him and his dad and bestfrien just past away a month ago.
thank you for the inform i have a husband and son with bipolar and it is not easy
this post and blog while frightening was informative. i have always had faith the police did “protect and serve” until all the reports about them killing a mentally ill person…after being called by family members to help. you must stay calm calm calm and communicate with the police. i hope i never have to deal with this but i am prepared.and to hennesay, arm yourself with knowledge and support system. its(BP) is a team illness.
good one! thanks for the tip
cashew83
is a.d.h.d in the same catogorie as bi polor my mother was diagnosed with bp and now my son whos in jail has been diagnosed with bi polar but he has been diagnosed with adhd all his life please help
I have also been arrested for assaulting someone in my family. The police at the station asked me if I had any medical conditions. I told them that I have Bi Polar Disorder. They said,”Not another one.” I was kept in the holding cell for 8 hours. I was so hyped up and angry that they wouldn’t put me in the general population. I almost got re-arrested, before we got off police property, because I was so argumentive with my friend who had bailed me out. I also have diabetes and scitzaphrenia. I tell my doctor, “You figure out which condition sends me into rages.” Shortly after I was arrested, I checked myself into the hospital. I was suicidal, homacidal, and had attempted suicide. The medicine that I was put on worked for 7 years until I developed and allergy to it. I still have rages and then depression follows. I also have the highs. I can’t sit still, try to stay busy and don’t sleep very long, 4 1/2 hours. Needless to say, me and the law enforcement don’t get along. several other times I have come close to being arrested.
I really like this site. It has helped me. Now if I could get my husband to read this site. He might learn more than just living with me and what I go thru.
SOMEONE PLEASE ADVISE!! My Fiancé was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After making a lot of irrational decisions, self-mutilation, and getting to the point of not wanting to live any longer, he finally admitted himself into an inpatient treatment facility. He’s doing wonderful on the medicine and the therapy. Unfortunately, some of his decisions have cost him his drivers license, a couple of pending court dates, and a violation of his probation. He has a warrant out for his arrest for violating his probation and he is looking at 45 days in jail for driving on a suspending license. Since he was recently diagnosed and he’s doing good in treatment I don’t want to see him revert back to the same patterns. Is anyone been through this? Or can anyone offer suggestions?
I recently started getting the emails from Dave. And I really enjoy them. I don’t have BP, but do have severe depression. I take 100 mg of zoloft daily. I am married to a police officer, and when I started reading this particular story, I started to get upset at you Dave. lol Then I kept reading, and was happy to find out that you don’t blame the police officer. I work in criminal law, and never realized, until the last 6 years that alot of people with BP, ADHD, deppression, and other mental disorders are very very likely to have run ins with the police. And most of it is, from my experience, drug related crimes. Maybe because people tend to self medicate with street drugs and alcohol to deal with their disease. Anyway, my husband has taken classes to deal with mentally challenged people in all different situations. And I tend to agree with my husband in that if someone is outraged and a danger to themself or others, and possibly on drugs, there is not much sense you can talk into them. Just try and calm them down the best you can. I understand fully the concerns of the family of the person who is out of control, but being on the other side of the fence, please try and understand that if my husband don’t defend himself, however he may have too, he might not be coming home that night. A wife, daughter, two sons are waiting on him to walk through the door after his shift is over.
Thanks again Dave for all the info.
Cheryl, if your finance’ has an attorney, get them to mention the fact that he does have BP disorder, and the fact that he did voluntarily admit himself into a facility, and that he is being treated for this. As I wrote in my blog, I work in the criminal law profession, and most criminal attorney’s as well as judge’s are well aware of the fact that people with BP disorder are unfortunately not strangers to the system. Most Judge’s here will take into consideration that he willingly went into a treatment center, and is being treated with medication. Good luck, and stand by him, help him remember to take his medication, and research/read everything you can on BP to help yourself understand why he does or says the things that he does, so that you can be a positive part of his life.
I applaud those who are able to be the supporter of those who are bipolar…I found that was we didnt have children it was a lot easier to put up with moods which 25 years ago i did not know what was going on. my x didnt take his medication on weekends on purpose….this was because he knew he would have episodes he is not a stupid man…he knew to take the meds when he worked he liked his l00,000 a year job and didnt want to lose it. just reminding a person to take their medication may work in some cases in mine it didnt if he was acting up and i asked if he had taken them he’d have an episode and break something. when you have small children and big things come flying at peoples heads it becomes a dangerous situation…i did not trust him to babysit for them even when i went to the drs they came with me. i found out years later that i left my infant son his too with him and the crib was broken because the baby wouldnt shut up and my x shook the crib that hard. he had me pinned up against the wall his arm against my throat it would have been nice to say did you take your medications but that wasnt the real world for me. after living what i lived with for the past 25 years and still living with from a distance i will always check before getting involved to see if someone is bipolar and then i am running soooooo fast they will only see my dust. our children have issues they need to fix before they can have normal relationships themselves……a bipolar person looks fine so it is more confusing you are easily led to think oh it must be you……kids dont understand no matter what you tell them that daddy isnt well and for many years he told me not to tell them….daddy isnt well doesnt work when you are 8 years old and the car being driven by daddy is going 80+ mph and daddy is smashing cookies on a plate in mommys lap….this is terrifying so we just didnt get in the car with him after that. go to disney tell your 9 and 13 year old kids that its ok daddy is making a scene in the middle of a disney park because he is not feeling well…they see daddy is being mean and screaming..daddy is 6 foot 1 and weighs 230 pounds but dont worry about it just duck when he throws things at you…….if you can support it that’s wonderful but my advise is if you can avoid it at all do find someone who doesnt have it ..your life will be much more peaceful as ours is now.
I have to seriously disagree with the last blog by melissa I can understand where you are coming from but I found out that triggers are a vital part to the BD. My partner admits he was not the best man with his ex and was violent occassionaly (a slap) she was very violent compared to him and extremely hormonal. I on the other hand trigger him with my loud voice as I am deaf and raise voices when arguing etc. However I have learned to reduce it dramitically but still stand my ground and let him know I am not standing for the degrading insults or critisms. THe episodes are so far in between that our relationship has blossomed tremdously. I know that certain partner are bad for some BD and Good for others. It helps to find the triggers and be clever by saying I have better things to do than sit around your petty (them) tantrums. Staterefusal to going with them and you find they hate being left out therefore have to comply with your rules on your time with family. I nearly gave up family until I found out that during his normal state of mind that he would resent me if I gave up my life or family for him regardless of his episodes. S now I know its his illness I don’t let it stop me or my sons life. I go thats it! His advice to all supporters is don’t let them rule you and dont bow down to their every whim because you give an inch they take a mile you be too soft they gain power beyond their control of reasonable levels.
Melissa my advice is from all the info I have gathered from you are:
He cannot handle crowds the noise is a trigger. When the triggers happens they need to vent unfortunately you or the children recieve it. Dont bite the bait walk away go for a walk together (you & kids) he cant shout at you but to him self. that the rule walk away he will soon learn his manipulation cannot work anymore.
the children are the same (noise) so they shouted at even when they are good. I ensure my son leaves him in the mornings to have that hour of no noise.
Family gatherings are always a nightmare. only parties can they handle one off, but regular visits are a no no I havent met one BD who can function through regular visits.
THis is because, their sensitivty to surroundings causes reactions in the brain that in general we can react quickly but they cant and in turn the out come is negative and moody they dont recieve the usual happy chemicals we normally get. Again you recieve their ventings.
Take him to the sea on holiday not crowdy rowdy place like disney its too much. THe sea will calm them from the rushing sounds soothing their chemical balance in the brain. The children get their fun and when they are in bed give each other a rubdown to enforce more calm and relaxation but beneficial to you both no talks but a glowing candle.
Hope any of this info helps you guys out there!!
My husband of 27 yrs. has gone from BP2 to full blown BP1 w/ very rapid cycling including social disorders and more in the last 4 years. He has lost his high paying job, put us in debt. and aliented family and friends. He continues to try different med’s. They work for a short period then he is back to severe “episods”. Recently the longest period of peace has been 5.5 day’s and that came after two back to back hosp. stays and sucicide attempt. I reach my end, then log on a read one of Daves daily posting’s and it helps. I’m thankful for finding his site.
thax for the tip dave, but too late. well i enevr had been arrested, i just had “rip of” the head of many people in the skools, and now in this skool im known as the killer…i feel abd cause everyone is afraid of me, not much ppl are brave enough to try to know me. im not a big guy tahts the funny part…but they prefer dont mess with me, so anyone with advise?
ersupermanMy bf was so paranoid that he started hierassing my family. therefore my dad called the cops so he could get into a hospital. Well we explained to the police that he had bypolar and that we didn’t want him to be arrested. We just wanted him to get some help. The police understood us telling my parents he has dealt with alot of bypolar cases. So he went over to talk to my bf and gave him a warning. That was when his parents finally realized their son was in trouble and that he needed to be hospitalized. We did follow steps expressed in the email and this whole mess happened before reading this email. So am glade i am reassured we did the right thing
My son was diagnosed bp last august,he was placed on seroquel,he doesn’t like taking it. He said he makes him calm,so calm that he doesn’t have the energy to get out of bed. He has had a 100% improvement since being on the med, so I make sure he takes it every night. Any suggestions on other meds with less side effects? sturber
I would like to express my concern Dave as it seems that you keep on harpering on ‘voilent’ behaviour. Not all persons suffering from BPD have violent natures? I am a BP sufferer as well as my sister and although we relate to highs and lows, moodiness, the works, we are not inclined to become violent? You make it sound as if violence is part and parcel?
This is a great topick for everyone to read. As a supporter my loved one has had police contact a few times. Every time if I had not been there things could haven gotten bad. I find it amazing how many police officers have no training how to deal with mental illness. Well for now my husband is stable, however he is in prison for the next year for the things he did while in an episode. It is just to bad he doesn’t remember most of it.
Thank God here in England the police don’t carry guns!
I’m a retired police officer with 40 years experience and was quite offended by the bi polar news about police shooting someone with BP and telling the police to “think first” and not shoot my loved one.
Taking someone’s life is the most terrible tragedy an officer faces, not only for seeing someone dead in front of you, but living with it for the rest of your life. The stress of having your name in the paper, being sued, going before a grand jury, perhaps a trial, flashbacks, nightmares, ptsd, etc, not to mention mourning the victim’s family and the victim, can very well end an officer’s life and career.
When I read some of the comments about ” oh please officer don’t shoot himher” and the references to “thinking first”, it really angered me. Do all people really think that we (the police) are just a bunch of mindless, retarded, yahoos that just run around with our gun out like Barney Fife and have I.Q.’s 10 points lower than an oak tree?
We had a lot of training, both in the academy and ongoing about mental illness and are very well trained in dealing with incidents such as that.
As a field sergeant, I had to do many I.A.’s (involuntary admissions) for people who were a danger to themselves or others.
Most of us are college educated and believe it or not, many of us are married to doctors and nurses and have much expertise in the field.
We try very hard to use the least amount of force necessary to restrain someone or make an arrest, but sometimes, very rarely, we have to shoot and kill someone. It matters not that a man attacking you with a butcher knife is a BP or just a mean drunk.
thanks jim calvert
I was recently in a situation where I asked to see a psychiatrist because I knew I seriously needed help in med management. The doctor asked me if I would be willing to go to the hospital. I said of course, that was why I was there. She said great! I went back to the group of people I was with waiting for the doctor to contact me, but contrary to my belief that I could trust the doctor that she would come get me, I was wrong. At this time I never ever thought of police, it never entered my mind. As a 40 year old woman never arrested or ever confronted by police I guess it just never entered my mind. As I was sitting with a large group of people 5 police officers walked up and basically surrounded me and trapped me and I lost it. I freaked out and started crying profusely. The told me I wasn’t arrested but that they needed to put me in handcuffs for my safety. WHAT???? I was the one who asked for help. So here I am put in cuffs and 2 cop on either side of me. Of course being in the state I was in, I fought. I kicked, screamed and cried. I was never so humiliated in my life.Now, because I fought I was thrown on the back of the cop car and hurt. It was horrible. I think the cop thing could have been done different. The doctor lost all my trust and I was and am still hurt and now I have fears of cops. I am afraid to even tell anyone when I need help now for fear of the same experience. I was put into a psych hospital for a 72 hour stay. It was like jail. Due to the stress and not being allowed to have any choice of my being there , it was the worst experience. And then I got nothing out of the stay, I was to mad and hurt. Since then I put myself in 2 more hospitals and have received the help I needed, but I was in control of my stay. Never again will I put myself in a police situation, I just hope not all police are like that. Believe me when I say, I wasn’t out of control. The psych was , I guess, Just doing her job, but she handled it wrong in my eyes. Or the cops new nothing of the disease.
I’m just responding to Jim and others re; police. I find it ridiculous that you would need to constantly remind such professionals as police to not shoot. Let them know, and then let them do their job.
Also, does anyone here think that a plain clothes officer coming to assess/take to hospital would be more effective than a uniformed one?
People in a BP episode seem pretty stressed out and are trying without success to relax. If a cop shows up in a uniform, that adds to the stress, don’t you think? It stresses me out to be approached by a cop, I wonder if I did something by mistake and now would have consequences, and my mood is stable.
As far as I know, mania is not illegal.
You want a manic person to be as calm as possible and while calling the police might be absolutely required for your safety, it would be nice if they showed up not in uniform.
When my fiance was sick, there was a plain clothes officer at the hospital and she was amazing with him – convinced him to go inside and be involuntarily committed. A cop in a uniform might have put him on the defensive, which you don’t want. My fiance has had some bad times with mania and the police.
I asked my fiance if he thought it would be less stressful with plain clothes officers and he said he thought it would be. No way to tell beforehand though 🙂
David,
I just read your comments about bi-polars being out of control. I am
so sorry to hear that some get so out of control that the police have to be called, and overracted. Makes me tink the cop was a bi-polar themself.
This has never happened to me. I have tamed my bi-polar mania with arts and medicine, prayer and reading and little isolation. Geet a couple people in your life that
you can visit for a few hours that do not judge you, but remember to keep your calm in their presence, they are deling with lifes mischief also. Love them and the episode will calm.
What great advice. The issue you are discussing is soooooooooo important. You would be suprised how many people in our country are not only un-educated about this condition, but most are not diagnosed correctly by the medical community. I am sick of this one as they make too much money to not be required to look for the genius behind the sufferer.Remember, Vincent Van Gogh.
I think so far this is the best advice I have heard. It is very pro-active. You are in fact paying it forward. Good for you David. Good for you.
A comment for SHAY: My darling, I have to say how sorry I am for you, that you actually lived one of my greatest fears. I wished I could hug you. Just imagine it ok?
At any rate. I have had this disease all my life.I am 51 now and marrie to an alcoholic ( of course it’s part of the disease to pick someon like this).We are going on 20 years of love/hate stuff. my advantage is that he is loyal to the bottom line most of the time. Why should we expect someone to give what we are not willing to give ourselves???????
I was diagnosed by a county health department in Illinois, years ago. Guess what? They dropped me.
They never called me about my appointments or followed up or even sent mail. ADDING TO THE PROBLEM. I remember the psychiatrist well now and he made it my repsonsibility to contact him. Yeah right! A psyche doctor?
What in the hell are they thinking?
It is our society of uneducated self important survivalists who use the system for their advantage and write a note and put it in a file. Well, I say. I have been fortunate enough to be inside the medical community for years. and I know for a certain unbiased fact that it only stands to reason that if they have to cover their butts by laws and facts, and written details, we must also. I am sorry to tell you this becasue I know first hand how difficult it is to keep track of anything much, as I tend to always reorganize everything and then it gets lost. The truth is, if you ar lucky enough to get a physician who prescribes meds to you for this condition. LOVE YOURSELF> AGAIN I SAY LOVE YOURSELF> get a log book of some kind. KEEP IT SACRED! KEEP IT WITH YOU. Write in it everyday, not so much how you’re feeling, but more about the reasons, and the habits you demonstate, what meds you took and write the date and time and exactly what you took and then initial it. Please understand this is not a paranoid statement, it is a fact, if they do it. You do it. You are much too important not to cover your butt, as well. Bi-polars are undiscovered geniuses who need to LOVE themself and take their meds.
Document it and if you e-mail your md, print it out and keep the conversation records. KEEP THEM.
Even if you have to print it and fold it into your book for that date.
You never know when you will need them.As things change so often. Especially the rules. For those who love a bi-polar person.
BE CALM!!!!!!!!!!! If they are not treated and won’t go for treatment and continue abusing. What are you waiting for? Take care of yourself.
Blessings to all
Robin in Dallas
hello! unfortunately my son has been placed on juvenile probation, because of assaulting his step mohter during these manic episodes. He has been on numerous medications all being not right for him. He is currently in division of youth services, supposed to have been a 6 month program, and next month will be one year. I do not feel this is fair, being locked away because of an illness.