Warning! The biggest mistake with bipolar disorder

Hi,

How are you?

First, I sent out an email yesterday.
I want to say my daily emails will not
turn into religious promotion. I just
had a number of requests for information
a resource on bipolar disorder and Christianity.

If you aren’t interested, just don’t visit
the website.

Oh another thing. I think there was a problem
with yesterday’s link. If you are interested
in bipolar disorder and Christianity, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/spiritualjourney/

Okay on with today’s message. There’s a huge
mistake that people make with bipolar disorder
that most people don’t talk about. I am not sure
why.

What’s the mistake? It’s to do nothing and hope
everything works itself out. I am amazed how people
think that a serious illness can work itself out.

I talk to so many people that just do absolutely
positively nothing about their situation. Whether
they are supporters of a person with bipolar disorder
or they have disorder themselves.

I will tell you this, bipolar disorder get worse
when you don’t do anything. I am NOT a doctor or
therapist but I have seen enough examples of people
doing nothing that I can say, when you do nothing
and either you or a person you know are in the early
stages of an episode, it just gets worse and worse.

I am actually doing an interview for the Bipolar Inner
Circle cd of the month that’s going to be super exciting.
It’s with two people at the same time. A husband that
just came out an episode and a wife that was his supporter.

The only reason that he didn’t go into a full fledged episode
where he would have been violent probably was because his
wife took action and he agreed that he had to go to the
hospital. As a result there was virtually no damage from
the episode.

In the past, an episode would get super bad and the husband
would become violent and there would be much destruction.

The wife however took action and followed the principles
that I outline in my material.

But the key thing is, she did something. Now I know what
you are saying, “Well Dave, that sounds good BUT
how do you get someone who doesn’t want treatment
into treatment.”

Okay that’s a fair question. There are many ways. I have
a bunch. But for this email, I am talking to people
who are in the early stages of an episode or bipolar
supporters, supporting people in an early stage of an
episode. And this is a lot of people on my list. These
people generally do nothing and wait. They hope. “I hope
it just gets better.” Then it gets worse and worse and
worse. Once the episode is far enough along, it’s way
more difficult to turn things around. NOTE-More difficult
but not impossible.

So you have to really try to “catch the episode.” Anyway
the interview I am doing with this husband and wife is
going to be really cool. I have never done such an interview.
I will be asking how the husband felt. What the wife was
thinking. And it will be back and forth so you can
know exactly what was going on and it will give you
insight into your own situation whether you have bipolar
disorder yourself or you are a bipolar supporter.

With that said, I want to address one more issue. People
ask me if bipolar disorder get worse with age. First
let me ask again that I am NOT a doctor, therapist,
professional, lawyer, insurance agent, etc.

BUT I do have an opinion and I know some stuff about
bipolar disorder :). With my site being the #4 to #6 site in google
for bipolar (beating out more than 21,000,000 million other
sites), having more than 100,000 people in my list,
and having 8 people who work for me with bipolar disorder,
volunteering a ton for people who deal with bipolar disorder,
and having lots of friends with bipolar disorder I can
say that in general of the people that live, bipolar
disorder get better with age.

Here’s what I mean. First unfortunately a percentage of people
will commit suicide as a result of lack of treatment of
bipolar disorder. Now out of those that live, I have noticed
that the older someone gets, the more he/she gets sick
and tired of having a life of ups and downs and decides
to go to a doctor and get a proper treatment plan.

After a person makes this step, lots of progress starts
being made and the person starts doing better. I have
seen time and time again, major complications with
bipolar disorder are the result of a lack of a
proper treatment plan.

In virtually all my interviews in my courses
below, this is a theme that runs through out.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

So to recap, the biggest mistake you can make
with bipolar disorder is to do nothing. People
who do nothing wind up having a total disaster
because the illness doesn’t work itself without
doctors care. It gets worse.

Okay, I have to run. Lots of things to do. Hey
some said that we should have a bipolar field
trip. I would be open to that. I am not sure how
we would do it but I think it would be cool
to meet up with a bunch of people and maybe go
to a lake or something. If you have any ideas
on how to set something like this up, drop me
a line.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

  1. It’s hard to do anything about an oncoming episode, because the initial stages feel so damn good.I am on top of everything, my mind is sharp, I’m much more social, people enjoy my company more. It’s not until it’s too late to head it off that the trouble starts. Oh boy the tropuble starts…….

  2. when you say the bipolar sufferer goes to the hospital what hospital are you talking about? mental, or general? my husband is getting worse by the day. he gets in rages and hurts himself as well as me, his wife…mentally and emotionally. please help

  3. Dear David
    Thank You. Before finding your site I thought I was all along in my plight. For nineteen years I have been married to a Bipolar man. I kept telling people something was wrong. No one wanted to talk about it.
    My husband has had people fooled for years with his curtious behavior and neat apperance. He knew how to study other peoples behavior and attempt to make himself appear halfway shame. He held down his job for twenty-five years with an outstanding employee record. On his days off he would come home and wash dishes around the clock for two days. If he was not washing dishes he has to leave water in the sinks throughout the house at all times. In addition, he kept the wash machine filled with water as well although no clothes were being washed and no cycle was runing. He hoarded things more and more until I had to have two shedds built in the back yard in an attempt to accommodate his storage needs. For years off and on I battled with him opening up storage accounts with local vendors to store trash. Each time money got real low he was forced too close them and soon as he could hide a few dollars from me he would go back and open the storage back up again.
    The trash bends at our home he put out on the curve for trash pick-up empty. Just to keep me from saying anything. In the refrigerator he would save trash.
    Finally, in November 2004 my husbands primary care doctor contacted me and said that my husband was ill and he felt it was necessary for him to discontinue working. This was the beginning of the truth coming out.
    He was referred to a psychiatrist. Since 2004 he has been placed on 51/50 for the third time and just now in 2007 they increased his current stay in the hospital with a 52/50. The doctors inforned me that he need long term care so they recommend he be placed in a Long-term Care facility.
    I’am happy and sad. No more violence and broken bones for me. Although, I had become so use to the abnormal behavior I don’t know how to start trying to leave a normal life. I feel lonely and lost.

  4. I have to agree w/ today’s email because of my past experiences having BPD. I would like to add, that for me the longer my family or I “did nothing”, the harder it became, and the more energy and motivation it took to pull myself out of the situation and do “something”. I am now so afraid of “going there” that I try not to ignore how I feel for too long. I experienced this very thing the day before yestarday. In the past when I have ignored my diagosis or signs, I have made a suicide plan a few times, was uncooraperative w/ staff in the hospital for several days, getting sicker and sicker, and the list goes on. I usually start my episodes w/ worry or depression.

  5. hey dave,
    how’s about a pool party with cookouts and small talk about how everyone is doing with their bipolar problems, before summer is over. i have bipolar and tremors on top of that. so have a great day. hope to hear from you soon.

    your friend,
    kathy

  6. My son is 29 and I believe has bi-polar. He has spent most of twenties in jail and prison, the longest at one time was one year. He gets out and gets rearrested for assault, public intox, drug possession, criminal wrecklessness etc. He cannot get bi-polar medication in jail and the crisis units where he has been fail to diagnose bi-polar. I have bi-polar and know how bad the mania can get. Something needs to be said and done for prisoners. I am sure there are many more then my son who have gone un-diagnosed. It is such a sad situation, my son is said to one of the many walking wounded.

  7. David my 41 year old son has been diagnosed bi-polar. I know you are not a Dr. but I think the meds they give him are wrong. He takes diazepam effexor and a sleeping pill. He has brain damage from being hit by a car and is only violent when he drinks. What can I do. Linda

  8. Hi Dave, my name is Connie Campbell and I just wanted to thank you for your daily emails. I am a supporter. My husband hass Bipolar Disorder. Unfortunately, I had to leave him and move 500 miles away before he finally go some help. I went to his therapy session after he had had a whopper of an episode. Dave, my husband had been getting treatment for many years for depression (WRONG!). He was taking Prozac haphazardly and I questioned him about it and he would not talk too much to me about it. By the way, we just got married Feb. 14, 2006. Anyway, I had been noticing a pattern with him. About every two to three months he would get extremely mad at me and tell me to move my sh*% out! He did that to me 3 weeks before our wedding that was in Hawaii, so I grabbed my keys and was going to go for a drive to get away from him. He came out to my car and said that if I left, I would not be let back into the house. So I told him to leave and go shopping that seems to make him happy. So he left and then called me on the phone and I proceeded to tell him that if that what he wanted then by God I would be out in a week but he had better watch what he asks for or that is exactly what he is going to get! So back to his horrible episode in April of 2006. I had been in Birmingham, Alabama taking care of my brother and his wife after she had donated her kidney to my brother. I decided to fly homee early and surprise Dave. Well surprise was on me! He was not home at 11:30 pm and his wedding ring was on the bathtub. So I fell asleep and when I heard him come home, I opened the bedroom door and got a face full of pepper spray! He knew someone was in the house because certain doors I had shut and he had left them open when he left the house that night. Well things just escallated and the next 16 hours were pure hell! Finally, the calmed down and the next day was his old wonderful self. I told him that we need to see his therapist together. I told Wes, the therapist(?) (LCSW actually) that Dave has a pattern and Wes said “Well, what you are describing to me Connie is BIPOLAR DISORDER! I said YES, I BELIEVE THAT DAVE HAS IT!! Wes, turns to Dave and asked, “Dave, do you think that you have bipolar disorder?” What do think Dave said? NO!! I felt from that point on that I was bound and gagged and no one was listening to me. The months went on and it just got worse and worse. Also, he would kick me out of our bedroom at least once every two weeks and tell me to “sleep downstairs, you aren’t sleeping in here tonight.” Sometimes, I would tell him, “you go sleep downstairs!” He just wouldn’t shut up, so I would end up leaving the room. In November, we took a 48 hour trip to see my family for Thanksgiving. They lived 500 miles from us. Dave was a total (bipolar diorder) ASS and when we got home he said ” I am so glad I made that miserable trip, this marriage is over!” I said to myself YOU GOT THAT RIGHT! I had prayed and prayed on the drive home while he slept and finally God said to me “Sell your business! You are not stuck! Because I had just opened a new office in August (I am a Massage Therapist and Aesthetician) and I didn’t want to leave my clients but I had to for my own sanity! So the following Monday, I put an ad in the paper to sell everything and started to pack my things. We went to see Wes and discuss things that had happened and later that night Dave lay crying in bed saying “I know that this is the right thing to do, but I’m going to miss you!” That was probably the hardest 40 days of my life! He would vassilate (sorry for my spelling) and really didn’t believe that I would leave BUT I DID! December 29th, my daughter and her boyfriend drove up to Fresno from San Diego and packed the U-haul and we were on the road in less than 4 hours! In the following months, Dave would call and leave messages on my cell phone voice mail many times leaving anywhere from 10 to 25 messages one after another. He finally in March went to a psychiatrist and got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Dr. first put him on litium and Dave dropped 60 pounds. He could’nt eat so they changed him to Lamectul, Prozac and Wellbutron. I insisted on speaking with his Dr. and fnally the NP that had actually made the diagnosis called me and I told him that I was very concerned about Dave being on the anit-depressants because in my reading and research that I have done, you should not have someone with bipolar disorder take prozac! He listened to me and got Dave off of everything but the Lamectul. He is doing remarkably well! Like a new person! I am very proud of Dave for taking control of his life an getting help. He has since quit seeing Wes (thank God) and has taken the officers test for CA State corrections. He got the 3rd highest score and is now waiting to go to the academy. He is a car dealer and is in the process of shutting down his wholesale and retail business because he realizes that being self employed is one of the reasons that he has so much stress and he needs to eliminate it from his life. Yes working in corrections is stressful but he will probably never see the yard because of his high score on the test and the fact that he has a 4 year degree from Fresno State. He realizes now that he can never drink alcohol again because it changes his entire personality. We are working on our marriage and he is making plans to move to Southern California where I live. I told him that I AM NOT MOVING-HE HAS TO MOVE! So, thank you again for your emails. I learn so much from them and some things I already know.
    Keep up the good work and take care!
    Sincerely,
    Connie Campbell

  9. dave,
    i have an idea of what we could do before summer is over. we could have a pool party and a cookout, talk about how we are doing with our bipolar disorder

  10. Dave – I am SURE you’re right when you say BPD gets BETTER the older you get. My last full-blown manic episode was 30 years ago, when I was hospitalized for the final time (I hope!). I had two minor episodes in 2005, which were corrected by a change in meds and rest.

    All I can say is – time heals. And you HAVE to have God in your life. It has given me so much peace to rely on His promises, and believe that I WILL be all right.

    I’m so GLAD Connie stuck to her guns with her husband, and that everything seems to be turning out for the best. You can’t stress hard enough how important it is to get the RIGHT doctor/therapist; there are SO many who don’t know a bipolar from a polar bear!

    Let’s get together for that “pool party;” I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who can commisserate with BPD who are doing as well, if not better, than I am!

    Keep up the GREAT work, Dave. Your emails are looked forward to very much.

    God bless you and all the people who appear on this blog.

    SuzanneWA

  11. Dave,I have a unique situation in my home. I have two teenagers with bi-polar disease and ADHD. But, me myself also am bi-polar with ADHD. With no one but my two sons here how do I figure out if I am going into an episode? Thanks, Diane Fish diane51501@aol.com

  12. you’re right about not doing anything is the worst thing to do.when my mom had her last episode in 2001 we [my sister and i]left her alone thinking that she’ll get better on her one.after couple of months she was so bad that we had to put her in a hospital by forse. this week begun my mums 4th episode.we will try to take her to see her doctor and i hope this episode will last few weeks.

  13. I have to add one more byline to your email….even with treatment, the situation can get worse for the loved one (supporter)of someone with bipolar disorder.
    My wife and I have been married for 3years this last Aug 7th. The first year we dated and got engaged she had never had a full-blown episode and to my knowledge was diagnosed with Panic attacks and OCD. She was taking Zynex and an antidepressant for her mood swings and migraine medication. About a year and a half into out marriage our insurance forced us to change family doctors to one who refused to treat my wife’s condition with her current medication. He took her of a narcotic COLD turkey and replaced it with 5 other drugs including EFFEXOR. This drug sent her into a full-blown meltdown and manic state for about 7 days until she was sleep deprived and hallucinating. After the ambulance took her to the hospital and I sat for hours with case workers and I told them what the Doctor had done, they admitted her into lockdown and I could not see her for 48 hrs. I as I walked to the parking garage and sat in my car…weeping, that was the most helpless feeling I have ever felt in my life. They diagnosed her as mild BIPOLAR. That feeling has not gone away. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS DISORDER and even with my wife seeing a qualified therapist PHD, my feeling of hopelessness and not knowing what to do has POLARIZED me. So, after therapy begins… the supporter has to do something as well…. BUT WHAT. I have done nothing and the situation relationally is still getting worse, seriously affecting the love of my life..Need some help or direction here…thanks for listening

  14. Dr’s are refusing to believe that my husband has this. He is the most charming man you will ever meet. King of the high and low moods! It is either all the way up or down, no middle. Since we began getting these emails, he has come to terms with his disorder. He has even told Dr’s some of the episodes. They brush it off, one even laughed at my bi-polar suggestion,asking Am I a Doctor? You gotta be kidding me!!! They blame his moods and violence on stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, etc…..

    I do not know what to do! Are there any “buzz words” that would get a Dr’s attention. In earlier years, hubbie was suicidal. Now it is just impotent rage that lashes out at those closest to him. He breaks my stuff or the kids stuff, NEVER his own. Apologizes profusely and says has no control. If no control, then wouldn’t he eventually break something of his, by accident? I see that he gets some sort of high out of this behavior. He gets off on it somehow.I don’t hate him just feel like he must not love us.

    And I am turning into him. Kids asked why don’t you stand up for yourself, why do you let him talk/do that to you? So I tried standing up for myself. Now I am bitter, nagging, unsure of myself and have lost the moral higher ground and detachment necessary to survive! HELP!

    So, anyhow, if anyone knows what to say to make a Dr listen, please advise ASAP! Does he need to go to institution? Do I call the police next time he is violent? Would rather just get him meds and treatment. My family has disowned me due to the various marks, bruises, etc. But I tell them “If he had cancer and I left you would call me a monster. He’s ill”

    It is very nice to have this site so that I know I am not alone!!Together we will increase awareness and raise consciousness of this important and over-looked disease!

  15. CONNIE C. and KATRINA!!!!Wow! I can relate to what you have been through….please, somewhere in here keep us updated…it helps (me) so much to hear about other’s situations…..and works to keep my sanity….I wrote a blog in here somewhere with a general run-down of events….anyway…..not much into going into detail now about my current events……I wrote a lengthy email to a friend last night about it all…..but please keep us informed…..God-Bless! 😉 Debbie

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *