Simple Bipolar Lesson From Running Out Of Gas

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Hi,

I just got up. It’s 6:47am. Long day yesterday.
Today I really have some really simple to tell
you about bipolar disorder.

First let me tell you the story about what
happen to me. Yesterday I had a monthly marketing
meeting down in Red Bank, NJ.

It’s such a pain to travel some times far
away. Why? Well depending on my goals and
objectives for my training I may have to
bring a big cooler full of food because
I have to eat 6 times a day.

As a side note, the neighbors who live
next to me think that I go on vacation
every day or to the beach because I always
have a cooler :).

Anyway, I got everything into my car, my
brief case, cooler, gym bag, etc. Lots of
stuff. I took off and then had to swing
by the super market to pick up some low
salt turkey.

So I was driving and I got a call from
someone. I would swear someone is giving
out my cell phone number because a person
called me and wanted to ask “just one
quick question” about bipolar disorder.

I know that turns from one to many. But
since I had a long drive I am okay with it.
Did you know that I do sometimes 12,000 minutes
a month on my cell phone :). It’s kind of
out of control.

Anyway so this person got my bipolar
supporter course and she said she doesn’t
understand how to know if her husband
is going into an episode.

I told her how first it’s a skill to be
able to know. That’s the first thing
you have to realize. That at first you
start out not knowing anything about bipolar
disorder, then you know about it, and if
you are a supporter you learn the skill
of how to know the signs of if your loved
one is in an episode.

So I was telling her all of this. She kind
of understood. I told her to fill out the
worksheets in my course and look at them
daily and that will help and be a great predictor
of future bipolar disorder episodes.

She said okay and then she asked me a bunch of
other questions about why I thought my mom’s
doctor was good and exactly what makes a good
doctor.

All of a sudden, I looked down and heard a beeping
noise. I was like what’s that? I thought my door
came up but obviously it couldn’t while I was driving.
I thought my engine was having a problem or something.
I kept looking and looking. I couldn’t figure it
out and at the same time I was trying to drive.

I think the lady who was on the phone thought
I was kind of crazy. She said, “you sound really
busy, I will let you go.” It sounded more like, “
you sound kind of crazy while you are driving,
I will let you go so you don’t kill yourself.”

Anyway all of a sudden after a while, I finally
saw what was beeping. Guess what it was?
Take a guess and scroll down.

DON’T CHEAT. Guess first and then scroll…

I had no gas!!!!! I was super close to empty. I mean
super close. I thought to myself, “how the heck
could I forget to get gas.” I was kind of panicked
because I didn’t know where to get gas right away.

So I was praying that I would find a place because walking
on the New Jersey Garden State Parkway isn’t a whole
lot of fun…not that I have done it but I can imagine
since I don’t see lots of people walking along side the
road, it’s probably not fun.

Then I thought I remembered that if you drive slower,
you use less gas. I am not sure if this even makes any
sense. It probably doesn’t and you are probably laughing
at me or rolling your eyes. I seriously think that I saw
this concept of slow driving equals using less gas.
But maybe that was a trick to get us all to drive slower.

Eventually I found a gas station and let me tell you,
I was close to empty. Super close.

This entire thing that happen to me got me thinking
about probably one of the biggest problems with
bipolar disorder for both those with the disorder
and those who are supporters.

What’s it? You know what? I want you to seriously
try to guess what the big lesson is from this sad
“I almost ran out of gas story.”
Guess and then scroll?

Did you guess? If so, then scroll….

People miss the signs of an episode coming. This is
the big lesson. You see on a car there is a gas gauge.
The gas gauge is designed to send a signal to you
about how much gas you have left. When it’s low, you
get gas. Unfortunately with bipolar disorder, people
don’t have episode gauges that you can simply look
at.

I personally recommend making a list of how you
or your loved one is “normally.” And then you have
to look daily at the list and compare against what
you are seeing. It might sound like a super pain
in the neck which it is at first but eventually
here’s what happens. You start to memorize the
“normal” part and then you can compare that
against what you are seeing.

Eventually you can start to spot bipolar disorder
episodes right away BEFORE they totally get out of
control. Once they are out of control it’s really
hard to get stability quickly.

The goal should be to catch the episode early,
so that modifications to the treatment plan can
be done by a doctor and you or your loved one
doesn’t go too far of course.

The woman who called had my bipolar supporter
course which has worksheets that you can use
to help know when your loved one’s episodes
are coming. MY bipolar supporter course has
similar worksheets but for people with bipolar
disorder.

You can take a look at the links below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

So remember to try to read the signs of
an upcoming bipolar episode.

Oh one more thing. Someone asked me if I was
a doctor. I say this so many times I can’t
believe that someone would ask. I am NOT
a doctor, therapist, insurance agent, lawyer,
professional in the field or dog catcher.

Actually someone wrote me and asked if I am
a dog catcher. I have no idea why should would
like I was a dog catcher. Actually I don’t
even think that there are dog catchers. I think
that falls under Animal Control who catch dogs
and other animals. But I am not in Animal Control
either. :).

Well I have to take off for the day. Have a great
day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

  1. The information you have heard about “driving slowly to conserve gas” is absolutely true! It is among a list of items that have been posted on several automobile websites including keeping your tires inflated properly, regular oil changes, keeping spark plugs in good condition, fan belts in proper condition, etc.!

  2. Hi David lmao
    i read your e-mail you sent me about your story of “When you ran out of Gas”. lmao O.M.G you made my day and I’m sitting here laughing my ass off. Sorry for laughing but i can just see you running out of gas and getting upset lol. I have had stuff like that happend to me before. You got me thinking about some of the stuff i get sooo upset over that really isn’t a life crisis deal and the world isn’t going to come to an end.But at times it sure feels like it. I do get what you are saying tho…slow down and look for the signs. That is the most important thing to look for. But sometimes i feel like im looking for the signs hopeing I will be okay, that im getting paranoid about everything. So that even gets on my neruvs. So i thought i would take a break from worring and soke in a hot tub and get some sleep. Well i did that and now I feel so much better. I guess gettting the right sleep your body needs really does help more than i thought it would. So anyhow my question to you is….David did you remember to put Gas in your car today? lol

    From Nicole

  3. I have a question. Does bipolar affect someones spelling ability? I am supporting someone diagnosed with bipolar and very educated. Normally his handwriting and spelling is always correct. I have found a few times where he wrote things and the letters were obviously (to me) mixed up or omitted? Can this indicate a episode? Or the oncoming of an episode?
    thanks, carol

  4. Hi David,
    I read your email about “when you ran out of gas” and was laughing out loud but crying on the inside because I still don’t have the answer to “How do you know whether your loved one is bipolar”? What is bipolar? I have searched and searched for answers and can’t seem to find any answers.

    Thank you,
    Gloria

  5. Hello David,
    Great article on the gas gauge. Yes, an “episode gauge” would come in really handy. It’s also really easy to run out of “gas” when trying to keep up with a loved one’s manic episodes. In my case, it’s my daughter. Luckily, her meds & her Drs. and her loved ones are very supportive, making those manic times and low times a little less drastic. But keeping up with a child who’s half your age can be tiring even if they AREN’T bipolar. Being bipolar just seems to drain ever more “gas” from your tank. Thanks for great articles and tips. I look forward to the emails. Thanks again –

  6. Hello Dave

    My husband is an alcoholic and has depression. He has already sent the divorce papers. There is no communication between us. He has moved on but i sincerely think he is not thinking rationaly.
    Please help
    Rose

  7. I always learn something or can relate to your emails, but today this one is a face slapper 🙂 Yestarday morning I started feeling “not so well” emotionally and I could feel the electrical storm gearing up in my gut, but I continued to make poor choices all day, ignoring how I felt. Next thing you know, I am in a full-blown panic heading for mania. I called a few friends, but phone therapy was not cutting it. I was seriously scared for a couple of hours because it wasn’t subsiding like it usually does, I am terrified at the thought of going into the hospital, but it is all part of my plan if I start to really come unglued. So I did the few things I could think of with my mind spinning like a Tornado, and finally at 11:00 p.m. last evening I could feel the electrical storm in my gut begin to spark less and less, and I was able to fall asleep and stay asleep. When I woke up this morning, I got out my journal and started to think back a few days to see where this “bad day” came from. Sunday night I spent an hour listening to my girlfriend rant and rave about her disfunctional relationship for the 500th time in three years, all the while being resentful for having to listen to it, yet not saying anything to stop her. I slept poorly all night and got up early Mon. morning anyway, my 2 year old came down w/ a fever and spent the morning crabby and unappeasable, then I started getting crabby, almost too crabby for the situation, took my meds late, started gulping coffee (also a no no for me, it can instigate agitation and anxity in me)and suddenly the anxiety hit me like a bulldozer “out of nowhere”. Well, that’s not entirely true. I knew better than to listen to my friend’s sob story because I get wound up over things I have no control over, then I didn’t sleep good, so when I got up early, I knew by the way I felt then, that I should to back to bed for a while and as well as pay closer attention to my day, but I ignored the signs and the knowledge that I was already walking the line. My daughter being sick kept me frazzled all day, so I helped it along w/ 3 cups of coffee in a half hour, then tried to escape into a soap opera for an hour which happened to be full of drama and emotion for a Monday. By the end of the show I was a wreck and still had to take care of my sick baby girl and try to back peddle my poor decisions for the past 6 hours. I white knuckled it all day, but this morning I felt much much better. I took a bubble bath last night, took my meds on time, turned the ringer off my phone, ate a healthy dinner w/ green brocolli (helps level out brain chemistry) and went to bed when I finally felt as tired on the inside as I felt on the outside. I know this is a long-winded story, but the point is, even as well as I know myself, and even though I have a pretty good idea of the things that get me wound up, I still ignored the signs of being tired and the signs that I was doing too many of the “wrong things”. Coffee, soap operas, and co-dependent friends might sound like silly triggers, but honestly they can mess w/ my BPD, and those are only a few. It is very important to get to know “the signs” in order to help someone or help yourself. I had an “aquaintance” I met in my Adult Partial Program, who knew herself better than anyone I had ever met, and after her 5th time through the program, she ignored her signs (we even saw the signs in group w/ her), next went off her meds and then committed suicide in an emotional state of mind that could have been prevented long before even stopping her meds. Yes, knowing and heeding the signs of oncoming instability can sometimes be a matter of life or death.

  8. Dear Dave,

    My ex wants to come back, and of course it’s probably just another manipulative thing. He, like I’ve known and tried to explain to him before he ran off with a man; has done all of the same things that he did last time he left. I tried to tell him it was an episode before he left. He swore that it wasn’t and that he knew what he was doing this time. You should hear the messages on my cell phone regarding him saying that he can’t function without me. Of course, he can if he were to get help and that is what I am now trying to explain to him. Will I let him come back? not with out aids tests, a year of therapy, correct medication and so on… Will I help him if he runs short on money for his rent? Only if he’s in therapy and is straight-up with his doctor. Now is the time to get him the proper help, I believe.
    He is still playing games on the phone at thirty-five years old, but he says that I’m his best friend and for now, I’ll move on with more criminal justice classes for myself so that I can attain something to make up for the three years that I’ve lost with my ex. Yet, I’ll be there to direct him for help as a condition. It may be a little controlling on my part, but I think that it’s the only way to get him some help. If he truly wants to live a good life and repair not only what he’s done to me but to himself in the way of destructive habits (sexually and otherwise); I told him, “that he’ll put the time in no-matter if it takes two years, to go through the counseling he needs and that we need to fix things.

  9. P.S. Dave,

    I don’t believe that the meds that his doctor put him on three weeks before he left were of any help or he probably wouldn’t have had an episode again. Right?

    By the way, meanwhile he was in his episode, I decided to close my apartment, put the cat in the car and take off a few hundred miles away to go clean yachts for a living for a month. It helped, and being around the water helped me think, focus and heal from what he has done..I know who I am again.
    I’m not lost in his control tactics anymore. I see them from far away.

  10. I can’t believe I’ve MISSED your emails for more than a MONTH, Dave! It must be that they were sent to my computer when it maxed out at 1000 emails a day!! But – to get back to your article about running out of gas…

    My sleep patterns have been erratic, to say the least. I’ve been pulling all-nighters (taking my Depakote, but not my Zyprexa), in order to catch up with emails and prepare for mystery shops. Sometimes, I will set my alarm for 4AM, shower, do laundry, do grocery shopping, and emails – all before Noon! But – I make up for all the sleep deficit by sleeping until after Noon on those days when I don’t have anything looming on the horizon…

    I know there’s no way to catch up on sleep. The only difference I feel is emotional; I haven’t been able to “feel” much, lately, and wonder if the anxiety I feel before my mystery shops is just that – or related to my sleep deficit. I keep up with my work, and submit my reports on time – receiving 10 out of 10 ratings on each one.

    But – I wonder if this “blank affect” is dangerous for my BPD. There are times when I DO feel good and “normal.” Then, there are times when I don’t “feel” a thing…

    I’m preparing for a mystery shop at a casual restaurant tonight with my boyfriend. He’s making a special trip just to be with me during the shop, and lend me moral support. Right now, I FEEL I’m falling in love with him; but it doesn’t seem the same as it did with my second late husband…could be, I’m just getting older, and the old “spark” just won’t come…he’s a good man, easy on the eyes, and he adores me.

    I KNOW with God all things are possible. I just want my “feelings” back. Other than skipping my antipsychotics a couple times a month, I am on a strict regimen of taking ALL my meds. I DO function BETTER on little sleep; I’ve proved this to my satisfaction. BUT – I DON’T want to go into a manic episode and ruin EVERYTHING I’ve built up over the last 30 years!!

    Don’t tell me to “get some sleep;” I KNOW that I NEED more than I’m getting. I may be “playing with fire,” but – it feels good. I know other bipolars can relate to THIS feeling…

    Well, my boyfriend is here, and I’ve got to prepare for my shop. Just make sure you check the gas gauge before you make another trip on the New Jersey Turnpike – I understand THAT can be a “life or death” experience, too!!

    God bless you, Dave, for your good work.

    SuzanneWA

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