I agree 100% with your “theories”. But debating with anyone is a waste of time. If they are so dead set against what is RIGHT, you can not convince them. Dont anger yourself over thier stupidity. Fight the fights worthing fighting for. Someone else’s stupidity is not one of them. We come to you for help with our messes, you help clean up the messes as long as we are willing to listen. If they dont want to listen to you, it isnt your fault, it is thiers for not taking your advice. There are more success from you and none of the failures are your fault. They are the fault of the person you are trying to help that wont do as you suggest.

I totally agree with Kay Scott. You have to pick your battles and arguing with some close minded people who obviously don’t want your help anyway IS NOT YOUR BATTLE.
Thanks for all of your help!!

P.S. I forgot to mention that my experience in market research taught me that everyone has an opinion about everything, some agree and some don’t. And on an open-ended question (this s a question where there are no lists of which select an answer and is recorded verbatim) you can find some very extreme answers to the simplest of questions.

Well of my own experience of bipolar disorder i think what is said is totally true. Bipolar disorder needs medication. You can not be normal until you’ll get the exact medicine and treatments. It will absolutely lead to death without medicine because a bipolar person everyday if not every hour thinks of suicide of death. He can not change that reality however he does or act or do.

This comment has been removed by the author.

Dave, it took me 10 years to realize my diagnosis required medication I was dead set against it. Does that mean you should give up? The answer to that question is No. You may not be able to save everyone but if there are people that are desperately looking for help and have tried everything else and they see your side of things they may make a decision that could enhance their lives and the lives of people around them. This is the way I now look at taking meds for Bipolar. Would I have surgery without anesthesia? That would be absolute torture! So if there are meds that can help me relieve the symptoms and make me happier and those around me happier why wouldn’t I try it. Dave, don’t look at it as battle when you are debating your point. You are a blessing just remember I said that! Keep up the good work !

Dave, you are not a liar. Everytime, for whatever reason, I have come off by meds, sooner or later (often sooner than later) I have ended up really, really ill.

Dave,

Thanks for the regular reminders that there is hope for stability. It’s easy to be discouraged.

There’s no way to fight bipolar without medication. We are living proof. My husband has NEVER successfully taken his medication regularly, as prescribed. He’s had too many episodes to count. For me that is the struggle; does he want to do better? We haven’t reached stability yet. It’s very discouraging. And it’s not because the medication failed. It’s because he failed to take it correctly.

I deffinatly agree that meds are important. About 5 years ago I went off my meds and drove. Stupid thing to do… I was in a car accident and nearly got killed and injured another person. I had 4 broken ribs and a hematoma on my chest. Now whenever I think about going off my meds I picture that accident and take my meds.

Dave,
Without doubt,the med. are necessary.The problem come with the control,the necessity of change in some cases,when the person could not be right with other med.and have an episode,what happened with my loved one.Some persons say that some med. can cause the change of behavior too.Other thing is the possibility of many diagnosis.That takes to a great insecurity.Like the episodes can have an uncertain interval, for the suporter the expectation is big.WE felt the need to say is all right, but is it? Lilian P.

I’m not enamored of the drug companies BUT that doesn’t mean that all drugs are bad. There are a lot of drugs out there that claim to make your life better, but there are alternative. With bipolar – this has not proven to be the case. With cancer, this has not proven to be the case. Will I try to find an alternative cold remedy? Yes. Will I try to find an alternative headache remedy? Yes. Will I try to treat cancer with Vitimins – NO. Would I attempt to treat bipolar with herbs. Again – NO. Just because some drug companies put products that arent’ entirely necessary doesn’t mean that all drugs are bad. It’s like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Intelligent people look at the facts and act accordingly. If someone has bipolar – they have a chemical imbalance in their brain. How do you correct that? Put the chemicals back. How do you do that? With proper medication. Some things just don’t have shortcuts. Keep up the good work Dave. If only one person listens and is stable – you have succeeded! God bless.

I think that you are “right on” regarding medication. My husband of 23 years quit taking medication when his boss said that he could achieve the same affect by running. Funny thing is, he ran before AND took the medication. Sad thing…he is out of a job,moved out of the home, estranged from his children and grandchild, and depressed. It took years to get him on medication and one fool to convince him otherwise. Where is this boss now?

All I know is that before I came upon your B/P info, I couldn’t understand why my husband would have these irrational rages. When I read about your mother, it clicked. He’s an otherwise reasonably responsible person, although he has some of the other B/P qualities. I got him on lithium orotate and l-Taurine, and the rages are much less and less frequent. Thank you for the info that you spread!

Dave it sure sounds to me the people who don’t believe in medication are on the side of Tom Cruise’s church SCIENTOLOGY. I guess when your a bi polar millionaire you don’t need medication cause your moods are usually high when you have more money than you can spend and your stress level is down (people want to be around you and support you when your rich…no matter how you act, sad but true).
Don’t give up = I wouldn’t argue with them but I would stand my ground and state the facts known which is Bi Polars do need medication etc… Jesus stood his ground to pass on his word (and many did not believe)..I appreciate you so much for helping us all, I know I have come to understand more than I ever did with your help and my friend Sis. I think we need a nationwide group like ‘American BiPolar Society’ like the American Cancer Society … then maybe we can get the word out more and one day have more research and better medicaitons…. You hang in there Dave…many are with you! Thank You for I do appreciate you and your sites. PS If you notice any of these people carring a big wooden cross….run!! Or call for back up! ‘wink’ ha ha

Let it go, David. I know your heart is in the right place, but you are not going to convince anyone if they don’t want you to.

I know a lady named Deb. I really like Deb, but I am aware that she’s bipolar and I’ve seen her pretty miserable and out of control. I ran into her where she works a few weeks ago and she was doing great. She’s healthier, she’s been working for no less than a year at the same job. She’s happy and calm. I commented and she said this to me, “Ya know what, Beck? My bipolar is in remission. I haven’t taken my medications for almost a year and I feel just fine.”

And she does feel fine and she is doing well, but I know that either she was misdiagnosed … or she is heading for a fall. I know (and she should, too), that she will get sick again without her medications.

She quit drinking and quit doing any street drugs, and I am thinking that maybe she isn’t really bipolar. I’m not a doctor. If she is bipolar, however, there will come a time when she needs her medications. I just hope the fallout isn’t too severe.

And I will be popping in again to see her and I have her phone number and her address, and I am going to just keep an eye on her. I have no desire to take on another person to support, but I like her and if/when she gets sick again, I am going to tell her about you.

Sometimes that’s all you can do. Deb has grown children and parents right here in town. I am far from the only person who is watching out for her.

But if I marched over to her house today and tried to tell her that she is WRONG! That she needs her medications or she will get sick again … she wouldn’t listen. She believes what she believes. And further, it’s what she WANTS to believe.

Lots of people have to travel down the road a certain distance and see patterns or have them pointed out to them before they are ready. That goes for both bipolar survivors as well as supporters. They want to be the exception. Can ya really blame them?

You are doing a wonderful job. Just keep it up. But don’t worry excessively about the people who won’t listen. They’ll come around if and when they are ready. Thanks for all that you do.

The drug companies are making a fortune, you can’t watch an hour of a show without a commercial stating “ask your doctor for this medication,” and all the side effects. I am running out of insurance in a couple weeks; I have no clue what will happen when I run out of meds. The psychiatrist did not really care much about me – our main conversation was about how he was feeling after HIS SURGERY. I can’t seem to find the ‘right’ doctor or the ‘right’ medication. I got some ativan and slept for the first time in months. Then, I feel over medicated – does not seem to be a good drug for me. Then I am told I am ‘therapy resistant,’ I just want to give up on the psychiatry field.

I agree 100% with everything you say. I wouldnt waste time answering these people…..they are ignorant. I have many disorders and I would not be able to function without my meds.

I have some words for all the people that do have the bipolar disorder and suffering from it: You all know that bipolar disorder is unrecoverable unless by medicine and treatments. Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression and many other sort of mental illness are as important as cancer, as all the killing diseases.Every single day i almost kill myself , or i think of suicide. it is hard to live like that, and you all know that no one cares, even the shrink all he cares about is the money your paying him at every session. When someone has cancer or anything else he immediately gets all the sympathy and the help and the medicine almost for free. i know it is hard to have cancer but i do also know that it is more hard to have bipolar disorder. In my country there’s no single center for mental help and psychology , if you need help you’ll go to a shrink or a psychologist and you’ll pay him 60 to 70$ a session without the money of the medicine that it is not included with the health insurance.how can a poor person provide these? Thousands and thousands of people kill themselves every year in many countries that’s all cause by bipolar disorder , schizophrenia , and many other mental issues. We have to raise this issue more and more to the rest of the world. This is not acceptable. We’re not living, we’re surviving!

I recently witnessed what can happen when someone with bipolar suddenly stops taking meds and it wasn’t pleasant. My boyfriend had been stable on the right meds for over a year. Then he goes into a mild episode, which makes him happy, enthusiastic and creatively productive. He enjoys this so much that he decides to stop taking his meds believing that they slow him down. He was going up and up and as expected came crashing down. Like someone who believes he can fly jumps out of a plane and just before he hits the ground he realises that he hasn’t got wings and opens his parachute. The landing still comes as a bit of a shock and makes him angry and confused. My boyfriend takes meds again but gets angry with the world and probably with himself for being unable to “build a house on a cloud”. He is not feeling well. So he drinks lots of alcohol thinking it would make him feel better or help him get to sleep. Instead it turns him into a monster (only verbally, but bad enough). The next day he can’t remember what happened. Because alcohol and bipolar meds don’t mix he plunges into a deep depression.

I described all this in detail in my posts over the last few nights. He is still going through hell in some sort of mixed episode, where he is very productive as well as angry and depressed and very confused. It seems to take a great deal longer to tidy up the mess he created by suddenly not taking meds than it took to make it.

Once you have found the right stabilising medicine it is best to stay on it.

Dave – you are SO right; NO person with bipolar CAN be a success WITHOUT the proper medication (with therapy, of course). I have been relatively stable (without hospitalization) since 1977 with the proper medication. If I skip a couple of nights WITHOUT my antipsychotic – I FEEL it. I did try it last fall with disastrous results – I went hypomanic, and couldn’t figure out WHY.

But – since taking it religiously EVERY night, I’m back to my stability. There are NO facts that support the “no medication” theory; either the person who heard it from a person who heard it from their second cousin’s co-worker THINKS they heard it right, or they are trying to make the person with bipolar feel over-medicated.

It’s TRUE that when you’re coming down from a manic episode and the doctors put you on antipsychotic meds, you tend to be “zombie-like,” and are slower in your thought processes and movements. But this is primarily because the docs are TRYING to synchronize the PROPER med for YOU. Once you get stabilized on the proper meds, your thoughts and movements become about as normal as they were BEFORE your nervous breakdown.

Now, there ARE some people with bipolar who WILL go off their meds before they are stabilized, because they don’t like the way they make them feel, and being hypomanic is so much FUN! What they DON’T realize is – that the CRASH is NOT worth it. And, because bipolar is CYCLIC, there is ALWAYS a “down” after a “high.”

So – DON’T experiment with the drugs your doc puts you on, and DON’T go off of them just to feel better – because, ultimately, you WON’T. And try NOT to self-medicate with alcohol and street drugs, as they will always counteract the efficacy of your prescription drugs that are there for a REASON.

Dave – thanks for a very thought-provoking email today. I agree with EVERYTHING you say, because I am successfully managing my bipolar MAINLY because I am “drugged!”

BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. Please say a little prayer for me as I go through this hard time. Thank you, and God bless you real good.

Hi Dave,

I’m new to your site. In response to your post I think that you could debate with people until you were blue in the face. I have a bipolar disorder, but have resisted accepting the diagnosis because of hearing people like this. I have blamed myself and have not been compliant with taking my medications. Sure I’ve heard time and time again how vital meds are to treatment, yet those who debate the issue sounded so reasonable. However, when you gave the anaology about how people deny space travel even when the proof is right in front of them, I finally understood. You have testimony after testimony about those who have been stablized by their meds. Even in my own life I’m realizing how dangerous it is not to take any medication. I had seemed to be doing o.k. until some huge stressors came into my life recently. Yesterday, I crashed and became very suicidal. Fortunately, my mom heeded my pleas for help so I wasn’t alone. I realize how foolish I have been listening to those who have no clue as to the reality or severity of this disorder. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, but it is just that: their “opinion” (which is not always based on facts).

Note: I have a meeting with my psychiatrist this Friday so I can start a regiment of meds. I also ordered your master’s edition. You have given me the “proof” I’ve been seeking (for almost 8 years now). Thank you so much.

I completely agree with you. Medication is the key to stability, but convincing them seems almost impossible. Those people’s comments are exactly what my mum says when she’s ill. “you just want to drug everyone up!” ahe screams. But when she’s on her medication, she is so much better.
Thank you for understanding. It makes me realise i’m not alone.

Good morning, Everybody!

Excuse my language, as I’m absolutely exhausted but feel like a complete ‘BITCH’, because my younger Sister nearly killed herself last night by mixing her medications and Cold Remedies over the past week, resulting in us spending ages in Casualty, but had I not been so tired and busy myself, I would have spotted the early signs and might have been able to prevent this event from happening.

(I’m writing this as a ‘WORD’ document to transfer over onto the Blog later, as my Server’s playing up this morning and I’ve got to leave soon for an Induction Meeting regarding the three month intensive exercise course I’m starting next week, to lose weight and get fit again.)

Martin rang me early last night to beg a lift for him to collect a car he’s about to work on, so I took the opportunity to top-up the fuel in my vehicle, then drove down to find the building for today’s meeting and to look for places to park in advance, so that I wouldn’t lie awake fretting. Just as I’d fallen asleep, the Telephone rang, but as I thought that it might be a ‘pain in the butt’ pal, I let my Answer phone do the work. After the third time, I realised that something serious had occurred, so picked it up to hear my Mother hysterically crying. The Ambulance was on its way and I headed out so fast, I had to nip back home, because I was still in my pyjamas!

Luckily, she’s now okay and resting with my Mother, Brother and Carer keeping an ‘eye’ on her, but when my Mother was at my place last week being interviewed by our Psychiatric Nurse (as Cardiff and Birmingham Universities are trying to collate as much evidence as possible in order to hopefully try to find a cure for Bipolar), my Sister sent a Text stating that she felt awful with her Cold and needed ‘Mothering’ (at the age of 39) and a ‘Lemsip’ (Cold Remedy). My Mother was annoyed because she felt that my Sister was just attention seeking and I was too busy doing other stuff to take any notice.

So, I guess that my message is clear. ALWAYS look out for subtle signs of when a person with Mental Illnesses is hinting that they’re not feeling well, as it could be a significant clue that they’re planning on doing something harmful to themselves, whether they intentionally mean to or not. HOWEVER, for those of you out there who might use my story as another means to AVOID taking proper Medications out of stigma or fear, this is NOT what I’m implying! In order to become stable and lead a happy, successful life, one, at present, MUST ingest the correct Medicines and try really hard not to mix them with other “props” like other Drugs and Alcohol.

One good thing happened today because I’ve been awake all night, as I noticed that one of my oldest Fish had sucked Algae off a pebble too big for his mouth again and it was stuck inside. He looked so sorrowful that I sighed and forced myself to find a Towel, Net and pair of Tweezers, then took him out of the Tank, placed him on the Table and gently pulled the object out, before placing him quickly back into the water. (He’s done this three times before over the past twenty years, but he surpassed himself on this occasion because it was actually a sharp broken piece of those pretty Glass Beads inside, which cut him, but the bleeding’s stopped now.)

Another thing that annoyed me today is when I felt compelled to answer the Telephone at 7am today, in case it was about my Sister, but it was the ‘pain in the butt’ pal instead! (She fell head first thirty feet off a cliff in the Philippines eleven years ago, but luckily survived with minor head injuries. However, she’s lost her sense of Smell and Taste and often forgets things.) She started ranting about some local Committee issue that we’d sorted out the other evening, moaning about certain other Members and I repeatedly attempted to tell her that she’d already told me this, that I was super tired after looking after my Sister and that I had to get ready to go out, but she just said, “Sorry!” and proceeded to tell me for the FOURTH time!!! So, now you may all guess why I’m in such a wonderful mood.

Take care all. Love,

Sue and all the animals. x

For Dreamer:
I just read your blog from yesterday about your friend maybe being misdiagnosed and wanted to say I agree with you because I know from my personal history and experience that BPD is not always easy to diagnose. Like David stated in an earlier email that it takes time for observance and to build a history in order to accurately diagnose BPD. I spent most of my life being treated for depression, when in fact I am a person with BPD. So maybe your friend will be the lucky one who does not have Bi-polar Disorder. All we can do is Pray for her.

It boils down to what people don’t know, they simply don’t know. Take a walk in a bipolar persons’ shoes or soneone suppoting them and then they might have something valuable to say. The no ceedance to what these people who like to create drama say because they don’t have a life of their own that worth a plug nickle. Furthermore they should be happy that there are people out there like you “Helping Others” ,which is God’s intention for us. I wonder where their intentions come from. Hats’ off to you David. You are a life saver. Thank you, SINCERELY

I keep thinking over and over about my family’s comments that I am ‘SICK, SICK, SICK’; that I need to be LOCKED UP FOR A VERY LONG TIME IN A PADDED CELL WITH A STRAIGHT JACKET,’ that my family is NOT MY SAVIOR,;’ that NO ONE CAN HELP ME AND I CAN’T EVEN HELP MYSELF,’ it goes on and on. Now, I don’t even have the motivation to do anything…but keep listening to these negative, hurtful things…I feel as though my life is not worth going on,,,,what is the use? I just feel like there is nothing going to make things better and no one to help, just hurt….Kerrie

Heaven oh my email address is econstruction@peoplepc.com …Mist

I wanted to know if anyone knows how lithium works for bipolar??
I am on 1200 mg of seroquel and I want off. his is the only medication that has helped me….I found out there is a lawsuit going on cause 1 in 3 peeps taking seroquel will end up with
diabetes,blood sugar disorders and pancreatitis…..I am now a full blown diabetic 🙁

Hi David,

Everything that I write is kind of a cautionary tale. I agree with you 100%. Here’s why. My husband behaved in such strange and criminal ways that I finally said to him:”Either you’ll get help or I’m going to report this incident to the police…you’ll be deported.” He agreed to treatment. Unfortunately he was misdiagnosed and mismedicated…but even that little bit of help saved the marriage (for a while) and stablized him enough that he held a job in construction (for a while). Then he felt better and guess what he did. Do I even need to say it? He stopped taking his meds. Whoopy, his penis worked better; but his life and this marriage started (slowly) to fall apart again.

The horrible behaviors started again. Needless to say he lost the job, got another job months later, loved that job, lost that job, started a business (many months later) lost the business. Do I really need to continue.

Now he’s gone. We’re getting divorced, on his demand. Guess who has to pay for it? I don’t even know if he’s alive or dead. I don’t even know if his behaviors; which I believe will return to horror, will put him in jeopardy with his new “love”. I can’t even help him.

I’m left thinking, what could have been if he stayed on the meds? Would he have stayed on the meds if they didn’t have such awful sexual side effects? Would he still be the sweet, strange, passionate, kind man that I married.

I feel as if I’m in mourning for a death. The disease has killed the man I knew. The man anyone on the site would love to know. Someone with dreams, and skills, and a will to make good and be good. To anyone reading this, PLEASE don’t underestimate the importance of a good doctor and proper meds. I believe that they can return your loved one to you and to themselves.

Insofar as being on meds–I wouldn’t trade for it! I would never want to see a “drug holiday”. Whether a person is Bipolar I or II w/mixed states — one would be very prudent to be on meds. The manic side is so well, manic! In my opinion, I rather be on meds and somewhat stable, (nobody’s perfect), clear-headed,than off meds, totally not with it, have foggy thouthts and just not even feel like myself, and have your family ask, “what is YOUR problem today?” Dave, you’re a great blessing, tell it like it is and sometimes people need to hear and/or be reminded of different stuff, whether people agree with it or not; just that fact that YOU take the time to email daily, etc., is a HUGE comittment on YOUR part — now all we have to do is OUR part! 🙂

Medication is key. It’s an illness that physically manifests itself the brain. Don’t stop driving that point home. Those who get angry are probably at what Elizabeth Kubler Ross described as the stage of Anger in acceptance of their disease…(which was initially developed to describe the psychological stages a human goes through in regards to their acceptance of their impending death…) But it can also be used in this context, because what you are dealing with is the loss of a sense of self in a certain way; that your brain is not who you thought it was. hahaha. But, once accepted, with medication and management, it becomes ‘less difficult’ as M. Scott Peck has so eloquently stated in his book The Road Less Traveled. Remeber, after Anger comes ACCEPTANCE. That’s where the hope lies.

There are just some people who, for whatever reason, do not believe Bipolar is a disease that needs to be treated with medications. I agree that Bipolar without meds is Hell and Bipolar with meds is Peace. I have warned my doctor that he cannot retire because I am afraid of going to another doctor who may try to change my meds. For example, my Klonopin that I’ve been on for almost 30 years. I’m now at 1 mg 4x/day. A lot of doctors would take me off of that but I need it for the anxiety associated with my Bipolar. I get panic attacks if I don’t take it. And my doctor listens to me. He knows I’m in the field and he knows I know what I’m talking about not only as a person with Bipolar but also as a counselor who treats people with Bipolar. He obviously has the last say but at least he gives me a chance to say what I think and takes it into consideration. But back to those people who think you’re pushing meds. If they don’t believe, nothing you say or do is going to change their minds, so stop wasting your time trying to convert them. Just let them holler. There’s always going to be someone who doesn’t like something about what you are doing. Just a little advice: You have to choose your battles wisely. And you don’t have to go to every fight you’re invited to. Keep up the great work!

Well sometimes, if one is not given the correct medication, it is better not to take any. It took me eight years to accept I did have a mental illness, and the first time I was given drugs, they made me feel awful, they were not the right ones for me, so I ran away from doctors, until I really got very ill, and finally found a good therapist to give me the right medication.

Of course the moon landings are a hoax! they just shot up and landed in Hawaii – fact – lol!