Hi,
I wanted to post this about the Divorce course I posted the other day.
It was at:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/divorcespecialoffer
I have seen a number of emails and posts to me asking basically,
“Hey, Dave, I saw you sent out something in regards to preventing a divorce. Did you mean getting a divorce?”
Let me explain.
It was the oddest thing. A few years ago, I use to get people getting my Bipolar Supporter Master Course and using the f.ree consultation to talk about how to PREVENT a divorce from their loved one.
When people would schedule I was like, “hey, I am NOT a lawyer and can’t help you get a divorce.”
They were like, “I am not looking to get a divorce from my spouse I want to prevent one.”
I started to slowly discover this amazing thing.
People with bipolar disorder were going into manic episodes and coming home one day and saying, “I am getting a divorce.”
Many of the supporters or spouses had 2 or 3 kids and were devastated.
In my consultations I gave the #1 non legal key tip which is get the person into proper treatment so they will be thinking right and not want a divorce.
But many people’s spouses were away and not going into proper treatment so these supporters or spouses needed to know EVERYTHING to prevent or stop a divorce from happening when a spouse has bipolar disorder.
So I actually went out spoke with lawyers, judges, marriage counselors, people with bipolar disorder, people who were spouses of people who wanted a divorce with bipolar disorder and prevented or stopped them and put the research all together.
If you need help PREVENTING a divorce from someone with bipolar disorder, please take a look at my special offer at:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/divorcespecialoffer
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Even if it is shock, perhaps some would want the divorce. The companion that does not have the disorder is probably exhausted. If the sick person wants the divorce now, he or she will want it later.
Just a thought.
Sometimes marriages die. Sometimes patients die. There comes a point when life support just doesn’t work anymore.
Sorry to be the person with the negative perspective, but if the companion has made super human efforts to keep the marriage alive, it may be too late. Sometimes it is too late.
s
I am worn out—-I’ve been with Ron for over 16 years now—the last few have been miserable–he is miserable but will do nothing to change it. He has gained close to 100 #–has given up on every aspect of life–blames it all on me—I am so tired of the daily yelling, cussing, name calling, constant tearing down o f what spirit I have left. I get accused of “leaaving him behind” because I try to go on with daily life–usually having to endure his tirades–my kids don’t wnat to ba around–he doesn’t want anyone else around–esp[ecially if they are being supportive of me.
Divorce? It would be blessing at this point but his behavior has gotten us so far in debt that I will never be clear of that & will be stuck in this life forever. I am 55 & still would like a chance at a happy life–is that possible? He is an un-medicated–un-admitted bipolar perosnality & that makes it even worse. His mom kept him so “over” medicated when he was younger that he is scared of anything like that now. I keep telling him that meds have come a long way–even with a step-daughter who is a nurse, he will not accept that meds could help & make everyone–especially him—happier!
I just wanted to say that I had been with my girlfriend since before her illness started at around age 20-21. She left me, and moved in with a 65 year old man. Years later she came back to me in emotional shambles wanting to live with me again. She was at her low point. I did everything I could to help, but could not let her move back in out of the blue, years later – what would I be dealing with?
Before the illness struck her visibly, she and I made plans for the future of being together. What wonderful plans we had. I felt I had a purpose in life, finally.
Then simple as that, one day she told me we were finished, and that she was moving in with someone 44 years older than her. I know now that I did nothing wrong, even though she blamed me. I was lost for a long time trying to figure that one out. There is no explanation other than she is obviously mentally ill. Getting her to realize it takes a lot. Even after medical diagnosis of it, she doesn’t seem to take it seriously and work at it. She seems to be able to get by as she is – though I find it painful to watch now. If she would only get on the road to being well.
She lets the illness warp her perception of reality and maintains beliefs and ideas that don’t make sense.
Now that I don’t hear from her again, I can only hope she is doing well out there and not drinking alcohol, and whatever she’s doing with whoever she is with, stay safe…
I got so far in debt being her boyfriend, and it took me a few years to begin to recover. I wonder what would have happened if we did get married as planned. It would probably be worse.
I still love her but it has been a great lesson in life learning to let go without anger.
I feel sorry for myself for not having much of a concept at all of how this could be reality. It’s been weight off my shoulders knowing I am not to blame – but I still have to deal with the financial aftermath years after she left me. She’s probably doing what she did to me with someone else. The feelings I got as a supporter could be tremendous and overwhelming.
Thanks to David Oliver and NAMI for helping me, with great difficulty, to finally understand – and accept – what was going on. It doesn’t make sense at first – but the more you listen to David Oliver – think about what he says in your time of confusion – and somehow it will make sense of everything.
Then you can get your action into motion and deal with the bipolar individual you must deal with.
Carol, I experienced the same thing simply trying to go to work. If I tried to keep up my job, by going to work everyday, she was telling me, that she would have to find other people to have fun with during the day. Since we were only living together at the time, I was horrified at who would be in my place with all my stuff without me being there. Her statements were all threatening or demeaning of some nature. What was her answer when I said if I don’t go to work so I can pay the bills and we’ll be poor? Her answer was she’d have to leave me if I had no money. Make any sense??? Not one bit.
The relationship I have started seeming like a curse… and if I marry her, I’d be marrying into my own custom-built curse…
In the old days people would just say they’re crazy and that’s it. Now we have terms and pre-defined symptoms to watch out for to categorize mental illnesses. There may be more mentally ill out there than I thought.
I am 33 and my husband is 36. Things have been going downhill for us for the last three years. He has had a very difficult time on the job and has been unemployed for almost a year. Everything seemed to get significantly worse when his mother died 2 years ago. He has gone to counseling and we have tried marriage counseling a few times. He was diagnosed with bipolar at the beginning of the year after a manic episode in Sept. His behavior has been up and down since. He can’t sleep at night, but loves to sleep during the day. He spends a lot of time at the bars and will often stay out until 2 or 3 am. He was taking medication, but recently stopped. We have 2 beautiful children, who are too young to really understand what’s going on. I try to make their lives as normal as possible, which is really difficult because I feel like everything is collapsing around us. We have gotten into physical altercations that are often caused by me when I get really frustrated with it all. He was never a violent guy before, but now he no longer hesitates to hit back and sometimes I am fearful that he could really hurt me. I think about divorce on a daily basis. But, I know that I need to get my finances in order to make that type of break. In some moments, I wish he would just go away. Other times, I feel if I could just try a new more positive approach to help him, he would get better. I just don’t know what to do.