Hi David!

I hope you enjoy your hike today!

You actually mentioned two important keys or secrets: therapy and CHURCH!!

I am 1400 miles away from my entire family, classicly bipolar, and except for phone calls and an annual visit–completely alone. Like Bob, I am my own supporter, and completely stabilized, except that zyprexa makes me sleep too much, so I can’t work a regular job. My psychiatrist frequently tells me that I make his job easy, because I have such a good grasp of my symptoms and of my illness as a whole. I am not in therapy now, but I am a big believer in it, I’ve had lots of exposure to it in the past, and I know exactly where to go at any time that the need should arise.

I’ve been very lucky, but I was in my forties until I had access to a psyciatrist and medication. Prior to that time, I credit the fact that I was born into a very religious family, with Church and parochial school available almost every day, not just every Sunday. Not only were these factors of great importance to the development of my life, stress, and mental illness coping skills, but they were of great help to my parents and siblings–all of whom experience this illness to some degree. In contrast, the next generation of my family, due to the fact that some of my siblings did turn against the Church, and turned to drugs and alcohol, were not allowed to have exposure to the same Church. Some of them failed to graduate from high school, went to correctional institutions, had suicide attempts, nearly died from a drug and alcohol overdose–you get the picture. Guess what one of the girls did when she turned eighteen–she joined the Church! She didn’t stabilize right away, but she is on the right track at present.

I am so convinced of the importance of religion, both private and organized, that my next big project is to obtain a master’s degree in theology.

I’ll also put in a big plug for therapy. Most of mine was individual, but in the hospital and afterwards I was involved in groups. In high school, the school psychologist found me, thank goodness! In college, I had a counselor. In college, I also majored in psychology. I then went on into the helping professions myself, and actually sponsored some groups of my own, one of which was to discuss family relationships. The other group was Narcotics Anonymous–this group was started due to member request, and was pretty much run by the members.

Now I’m going to tell you a little story to make a little point, but I think you’ll understand why it is so important. Today is my birthday.
Over the years, I’ve had to develop a few little coping skills to deal with the fact that I am always alone on my birthday, and nobody that I am going to see that day is going to know about it. It is not difficult at all to put them into practice, because I have a wonderful Church home, and this year my birthday falls on a Sunday. For years, our pastor has always given people a birthday blessing. I walked up to him after the service, and he was delighted to give me a blessing. We serve coffee and donuts afterwards. When the pastor arrived, he told everybody that it was my birthday and had them sing to me. This was all entirely appropriate, even though I am a 56 year old woman, because I was personally acquainted with nearly everyone who was there, from ten years attendance at this Church, and all of these people were delighted to help me celebrate my birthday.

I bet it was my birthday blessing that made it possible for you to mention the factors of therapy and Church on this same day, and to make it possible for me to tell you this story.

God Bless You David!

marstein

Hi David,

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 in 2003. I am on SSDI because my meds make it impossible for me to work and I cannot handle the least bit of stress anymore.

My husband is bipolar 1. Talk about a mixed bag of a marriage we have. I call us quadripoles, ha, ha.

Seriously, I found a clinic that was free right away. I have a psychiatrist and a therapist, the same ones from the beginning.

I have only my husband and my 79 year old mother who does not think I have bipolar and refuses to admit that I do. My husband is doing great right now and he basically does everything for me. If it weren’t for him I would be totally lost. And when he is sick, I am on very shaky ground.

I have no other family nearby or anyone who would be willing to take on me to care for. Sometimes I fear the future if something happened to my husband. But, what keeps that from being an obessive thought is my faith that God will always pull me through. I have had very, very stressful life full of abuse, overworked, alcohol, an alcoholic mother, two failed marriages and I am on my third, on and on it goes.

What I am trying to say is I go to therapy faithfully and have since I was diagnosed. That is where I can be totally honest, vent, cry, and tell her about what my experiences have been since I saw her last. She has helped me greatly. She is very compassionate.

I am also very blessed to have a compassionate psychiatrist. They both know me so well they rarely open my file at an appointment because they remember me because my life has always been multiple big stresses, one after the other since I was 14. I am 52 now.

Also, I am a Christian. My beliefs give me comfort and keep my thinking straight. The Bible gives me benchmarks to reach and goals to set for myself.

I also belong to a small Christian bipolar group that are wonderful! We support and love each other unconditionally, no backbiting or nasty comments, just support for the ones who are stuggling and sharing the victories, however small, for encouragement to each other.

So, like Marstein said, church and therapy! And I would add good med combinations and a good psychiatrist. Both have saved me from going completely off the wall.

If you don’t “click” with your therapist or psychiatrist DON’T GIVE UP LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT ONE FOR YOU!!!! It is a long journey, but I was blessed to hit it all on the first visit.

So, what has worked for me is the right meds, the right psychiatrist, the right therapist, a support group, and my faith in God. It’s worth all the effort to get to this point no matter what. It is what keeps me stable.

I hope I have helped someone have a “light bulb moment” that they need to agressively go after their own treatment, that way if you have no one to help you, you will succeed eventually in finding the right help for yourself.

Sharon

My 25 year old son has just impulsively left NJ and is in So California. Had a bad breakup, had always wanted to go there and he did. He has no one there, hopefully will take his medication – i believe he only took it for the girl. He’s done well only on zyprexa. I believe therapy and a support group would enhance his wellness tremendously. He hasn’t even found a place to live yet – but can afford $750/mo.
He has his 2 dogs with him – very attached- “his family”. He surfs and I’ve been trying to find out if a Christian surfers group exists out,there. He is noy overly religious but I thougt thy might be able to connect with him, reach out and help him get settled. Anyone out there have any thoughts or suggestions?
His Mom

Hi David,

I hope your hike was fun today!!

You talked about the two most important things I believe in, CHURCH and a support system, whether that is therapy or a BIBLE STUDY, I prefer my BIBLE STUDY. Our group is called OVERCOMERS and we use NEIL ANDERSONS literature, “WHO I AM IN CHRIST,” it has been one of the best tools for many people in our community with addictions or mentals issues or just your regular issues in life.

I have been diagnosed bipolar for 11 years, my mother was bipolar, and my 26 year old son has also been diagnosed. Each of taking a little different medication. But all of us have been seen by the psychiatric field and medical field. We have been helped the most by the spiritual parts of our life.

I do not feel that having this disorder has totally been a detriment to my family or my life. Because GOD has used it in many ways. Thank you for what you David. Dia in Libby Montana

I forgot, I give spirituality and the support of fellowship 2 THUMBS UP 2! For Me Its The Lord.
K

Hi David,
I was diagnosed as having bipolar in 1988. I had been battling with moods swings and/or episodes for years. I was on medication for a short time and have been hospitalized in the past. I have been in and out of therapy from then on. Mostly because I chose to go before I felt out of control. I have not had any major espisodes or symptoms since 1991. I don’t know exactly what’s working for me. I am currently a therapist and many of my friends are therapist. So maybe that’s what did it. My mother is also bipolar. I remember how tramatic my childhood was. I am dating someone that is bipolar. He is on medication and is doing okay. His last espisode was less that 3 months ago. I am a little concerned about our relationship. I have children from a previouse marrage gone bad. Although he is the most loving and caring man there is to know & was tossed around the thought of marriage, I am concerned about his stability. Life with children can be stressing especially in blended families.

hi dave

YOu are correct in your comment about therapy being underated. However, I think it is important to note that “therapy” can be formal or informal. Self-talk, playing basketball, weight lifting, singing, cooking etc are all activites that can be equallly as therapeutic as group or individual sessions with a trained counselor. The type of therapy that is best for the individual must be decided between the clinician and patient.
I want to thank you for the newsletters. Your insight and knowledge sheds light on a subject that is often overlooked and misunderstood. Continued success!

hi dave
well im quite slow with responding to mail but i’ll step up. im glad u talked about therapy because in my experiences with mental illness, i have conme to realise we have better prognosis with therapy. people stay better longer. this is because therapy gives the individual a sense of importance irrispective of what others or they may think of themselves at the moment. it gives one reason to fight because a good therapist will help u realise ur self importance and inner strength. he/she will help u n ur lovedones understand ur condition and this tends to reduce the weight with which u look at B.P. a good therapist will be firm, honest, strict but will never make u feel a burden or better off dead. i culd go on n on about the importance of therapy, but be carefull to get a good one. they can also break u really badly.

Hi Dave,
Great subject! I have been in therapy since I was 21,(for an attempted suicide).She suggessted long term therapy, well here I am 47 and still in therapy.

All those years, I kept waiting to get better! I wasn’t diagnosed with bi polar till I was 45!

But, I am so glad that I continued with therapy because all of those years it was the only thing that kept me going, because I knew something just wasn’t right and my life was always in turmoil.
So, anyone that feels like the 15 minute med check once a month with your physc just isn’t making you feel better, I strongly suggest a good therapist, there is nothing better in the world to be able to talk with someone that truly understands and listens and doesn’t judge and just loves you. I love my therapist. I have been seeing her for 3 years.

I have seen many over the years. One that I will never forget was a little old woman in Detroit who taught me how to tolerate being touched. She also taught me how to ground myself when my head would be spinning. I still use what she taught me to this day.

There is nothing in the world like a good therapist.

Nobody else in your life understands or makes you feel ok just the way you are or tells you how to change your stinkin thinkin. It truly is something I would suggest to anyone, man or woman, that deals with bi polar. It makes it a little easier to live with when you know you have an appt. with your therapist that week. I always leave feeling like the sun came out finally and my life isn’t quite so bad.

keep up the good work Dave, you are great.

Laurie
up all nite in Phx