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Hi,
How’s it going?
I had a ton of things I wanted to
tell you today BUT, I got back
from the gym super late today
and also my friend Rob just
had a baby. Actually his wife
had the baby and he just provided
moral support š
On this note, I once had a woman
describe childbirth to me. It made
me feel like there should be a mothers
day every month instead of once a year
š
Anyway, I have to go really quick today
and head down to the hospital. I actually
have 6 interviews scheduled for today
as well so I am not sure how I am
going to work this.
Also, if you have bipolar disorder and
want to lose weight, mark your calendar the
December 21, 2007 at 10:00am.
You should go to
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/weightloss
Remember I am only taking the first
50 people.
Okay let me get moving on today’s
bipolar disorder topic. I have wanted to
write about this for a while.
I was thinking today about hope.
But not in the usual way.
I was thinking about how hope can
be a bad thing.
See, Iāll compare it to the lottery.
There are some people who all they
do is spend their money on the
lottery, hoping to get rich and be
able to quit their jobs and have an
easy life.
Those people donāt try very hard
at work ā some of them arenāt even
able to hold down a job very long,
because of their attitude, thinking
that theyāre not gonna be there long
because theyāre going to be rich this
week, just you wait and see, this week
is the week theyāll win the lottery!
See what Iām getting at?
And thatās how they live their lives.
On hope. From day to day.
But itās not a good hope. Itās not a
realistic hope.
This āhope thinkingā person will
sit back and almost be (or might
actually be) lazy, just waiting for
luck to find him, so he doesnāt
think he has to do anything in
order to get ahead and be
successful at anything.
He wonāt take responsibility for
anything. He might even act like
the world owes him a living! Or
if heās got bipolar disorder, heāll
act like HEāS the victim!
And there he sits, day after day,
buying his lottery tickets, hoping to
āwinā his way out of poverty.
Now letās take this same man who,
Ok, maybe heās not rich, maybe his
job isnāt the greatest job in the world,
but itās enough to put food on the table,
and makes him feel good about himself
because heās being productive.
Sure, heād love it if he won a million
dollars. But he doesnāt sit at home
waiting for it to come to him. He works
hard for the money he makes, and in
his small world of influence, he is
considered a success.
No, heās not a millionaire, but heās
got a fairly decent life. He pays his
bills, has a wonderful wife and family,
a few friends, etc. And heās happy.
Do you think the first guy, the one
waiting around to win the lottery so
he can be a millionaire and finally be
rich is happy?
I teach in my courses about being
proactive. Thatās the second guy ā
heās proactive.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
So what does this have to do with
Bipolar disorder? Well, firstly, like
I just said, that I teach in my courses
how to be proactive ā you canāt just
sit around waiting for help to come to
you ā you have to get out there and
do some things for yourself.
You canāt just sit at home waiting to
be a millionaire by buying lottery
tickets, either. But you can still hold
down a job outside the home, or work
from home, start a home business,
etc.
Bipolar disorder does NOT have
to stop anyone from caring for their
family.
Itās up to you. You can sit back and
āhopeā that your loved oneās bipolar
disorder will magically go away by
itself, or you can be proactive and
see what you can do to help your loved
one manage their disorder better.
Hope, in your case, can be good or
bad. Which is it for you?
Your friend,
Dave
–
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my Free blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my Free podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Thanks for the encouragement. Perfect topic today.
I’m new to this web site. and already its been a big help to me . I’m a supporter of two sisters that are bipolar. finally someone understands and supports thoes who are bipolar, God bless you. Patricia
How does one deal with a loved one who refuses to believe they are bi polar
Perfect Dave, just perfect. I’m constantly being told i enable my bipolar daughter by making sure she eats, waking her up when she sleeps for 48 hours. And as the year anniversary is coming up, i’m accepting that what i saw as support, she’s translated into “mom will do it, i don’t have to”. My HOPE was at some point she’d just pitch in and it hasn’t happened. So time to rearrange my definition of HOPE.
THANK YOU !!
Dave, Thank you so much for all the information on Bipolar. I have the Bipolar Success Course and the 7 Secrets to Living With Bipolar Disorder. I am a supporter to a sister. I also know that my son has bipolar but he refuses to see a doctor. I also have a few things that concern me. My dr is going to check things out when I go in for a follow up visit. I know you get nasty emails, but don’t let it get you down. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and THANKS so much for all you do to keep us informed!
Hi David, IPO Hoovers, alternative energy, sales 2006 824.5 million, 288 employees- stop I need a new resume!!!!!!!!!!So I have been unable to blog for a couple days, wrote you a letter, maybe the meds arent working allready. About the stupid person who doesnt know how to run a company with employees-people-humans. As soon as I figure out how to get this witches house off me, how about I slam it down in the middle of everything you love-where you live. Bipolar-mentally ill, kinda ugly words, we arent ulgy, we rock at work, so happens every now and then we actually tell the boss to fuck off, instead of day-dreaming about it.
Thanks David-Karen
My sister is getting sicker and sicker and is currently getting shock treatments. When her children call her, she can be very nasty to them. She is doing nothing to help with her recovery and believes that medicine and/or shock treatments will make her better.
I am concerned not only about her but the effect that her nasty attitude is taking on her children.
Is there a time when making contact and trying to help my sister becomes enabling rather than support? If so, how should we handle the situation?
Hey Jean, maybe educate her kids about bipolar.
Dave,
I haven’t met anyone that falls into this statement of yours that is BP
This “hope thinking” person will
sit back and almost be (or might
actually be) lazy, just waiting for
luck to find him, so he doesn’t
think he has to do anything in
order to get ahead and be
successful at anything.
I understand your sentiment of being proactive, but I think some people on this blog such as angelbets will now think that her daughter is just lazy!!
Be careful people with this proactive attitude toward BP’s it is not laziness for most of us it is actually illness. Remember what David talked about yesterday in his email. What a contradiction!
Hope for some of us is all we have with this disorder.
Tere, well said. Hope is often all we have – bipolar or not. I must have been Pandora in a previous life (lol). I’m often surrounded by troubles and get into sticky situations, but would never let go of hope. Once you give up hope you give up everything! I think I know what Dave was trying to say, though. God helps those who help themselves and no-one should totally rely on luck or even on other people.
Dave, your emails are encouraging and I always enjoy the humour in them, too. My bipolar man is going through a worrying time considering to stop taking his medicine. One good thing that keeps him going is his part time job he only started a few weeks ago. Twice already he didn’t turn up on the day and a couple of times turned up late. But his boss knows about his bipolar disorder and is very understanding and doesn’t pressurise him. That helps enormously, as pressure from a boss to work faster usually achieves the opposite and slows you down. I also work best in my own time at my own pace. Most people tend to be good at something they are interested in and not so good if they have to do something that is boring. Doctors are currently trying to find the cause of my insomnia. Some nights I get a lot done, others I watch tv all night. I feel happier after a productive night than a tv night.
David
I always appreciate your emails of advise and guidance. Sadly, I have to keep out of my ‘loved one’s’ bipolar issue because I am only the stepmother. So I sit back and watch what the parents are NOT doing. What they are doing is allowing their 37yo daughter bumble along from one episode to another and just be chemically treated – nothing else. Maybe they do not feel empowered to approach the issue of improved self management with daughter and I suspect the my step daughter considers herself above this sort of help. Sadly, she was in the middle of completing her final year to practice as a psychologist and so the conversations are very interesting as she is a very intelligent person.
“False hope” is what the guy in your first description had. He was sitting around BELIEVING that just ONE MORE lottery ticket would do it for him. And just think of the ODDS!!
In all 3 of my hospitalizations, I “hoped” that I would get better “overnight;” that my delusions would PROVE to be right and I wouldn’t have to be embarrassed by them. But, alas, I always “got better” and had to face REALITY. “Things” don’t automatically come just because we wish/hope they will…
To be proactive, you have to WANT to overcome the bipolar disorder through ALL of the lessons you’ve learned – take meds religiously, get enough sleep, see your doctor and/or therapist, and TRY to do your best. Yes – the mania MAY appear suddenly, as if from nowhere, and we have absolutely NO control over that. But – following a regimen where we don’t fall into either a manic episode OR a depressive one – CAN/WILL help.
I am HOPING to start a side business in the new year, one that you suggested to me. But – my contacts for that job are NOT going to just “fall into my lap.” I have to go looking for mentors and referrals ON MY OWN, and I have to WANT to. I’m not planning to be an “overnight success” or a self-made millionnaire with this undertaking. Just make enough to have ends meet. But – it’s a start, and I thank you, Dave, for believing I CAN do it.
Right now, my motivation is HIGH. I BELIEVE I can do this. I am also “hopeful” that it doesn’t involve stressors I can’t foresee at this time. But – I won’t know unless/until I TRY.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love them. My prayers are with you. Stay sane! And a very MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all!
thank you for this one….I have a friend that “hoped” his disorder went away. soooo he stopped taking his med’s. found out it didn’t go away..I always try to let him know I am there if he needs someone. Is there anything else I can do?
I am new to all of this. My teenage son was receintly diagnosed with BP. I have spent countless hours over the past two months researching everything I could find on this subject. It has taken me six years and three different Dr.’s to get someone to dig alittle deeper than ADHD. Unfortunately, we lost alot of years living in the wake of untreated BP. But, I now have HOPE that our family will be able to repair some of the damage and find a way to survive. My faith in God has got me thru all these years. Now, as we educate ourselves and seek proper treatment, HOPE has new meaning for us.
Knowing what we are dealing with has released so much pressure from the situation. I am now able to hate the illness and love my son, even when he is raging.
This now happens much less frequently.
Hope alone will not get him stable or keep him stable.
This week, his Dr. ,pratically on a whim, decided to change is meds to alleviate a stuffed nose. This new med caused him to have insomnia. My son hadn’t been able to sleep and wasn’t even tired after 30 hours of being awake. The Dr. suggested that I give him benadryl with this new med and if the insomnia caused him to be manic or violent, just put him in the hospital! Well, I asked the Dr. if he would be available during the holidays, to deal with this. He said that someone would tell me to put him in the hospital. Wow! I told him that I would not be giving my son this new med a second night, waiting to see if he stayed awake for two full days and into an episode. That we were going back to the original med and I needed a new script called in! Some may call this being a nasty b**** but I call it proactive and looking after my son’s (and family’s) best interests. You deffinately can’t sit around waiting for things to happen to you or someone to do the right things for you. EDUCATE yourself and be aggressive in find proper treatment and make the changes in your lifestyle that are necessary. Then you can see true HOPE for your future! We unknowingly did nothing for BP for many years and what a nightmare that was!
I don’t fall into either of those categories or maybe I fall into both. I work full time but the stress of working and having just enough money to cover the bills keep me hoping that my husband will win the lottery. I don’t have the energy to stop at the store to buy tickets myself. I don’t think I’m bipolar or maybe I have that hypomania dysthymic type. Actually I get meds for depression from my doctor so maybe I could be hypomanic/depressive type. So I am being proactive but I’m still not happy.
Thank you. I am a mom supporting a 14 year old with bipolar disorder. Some days it just seems so difficult, espescially when she refuses to get out of bed for school! I really appreciate your emails and all your hard work that you put into this. May God Bless You! Sometimes reading your emails are exactly what I need. Have a Merry Christmas.
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Hi everyone,
I am also new to this web site, but I have a question.My boyfriend has been wrongly diagnosed with a major depression and after a year it turned out to be bipolar disorder ( he got a manic episode with an euphoric happiness ). However, he has been on a mood stabilizer since two months ago and he is doing really well. The question is :can a person who is taking medication on a regular bases ,still have manic or depressive episode and to what extent? I wish you all Merry Christmas and a lot of health in the New 2008 Year. Thank you.
To ALMA: YES, even under the most controlled circumstances, anyone with bipolar disorder can/will go into a manic episode without warning. He can be following doctor’s orders fully – taking medications religiously, having a regular sleep cycle, exercising and eating properly – and the illness can happen.
I hope this has answered your enquiry. I live a daily struggle trying to avoid ANY stress that could “throw me for a loop” with mania; but the darn thing can/will creep up on ANYONE – I am NOT immune, and neither is your significant other.
To SuzanneWA:
Thank you for your answer. Now at least I know what to expect š
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dave… i am, or was engaged to a very wonderful woman with bipolar. she has just recently informed me that she no longer loves me. she has just had a major episode and been thru 9 weeks of new meds and med changes plus counseling. i am devastated. i never hurt this bad before. i truly love this woman. she cannot tell me why, she just says the love is gone. i thought i was her support person but last night she said she didn’t consider me as her support person. my 15 year old son and i live with her. she wants me out in 6 weeks. i am unemployed and claiming bankruptcy. she says my son can stay with her if needed. she IS a good woman. my love for her is immeasurable. she knows it. the pain i feel is unbearable. i am frustrated ,confused, and hurting. i cannot help feeling that i am dealing with bipolar rather than my lover. i am seeking help but it will be a week before i can get seen. my antidepressants are not working. all i do is cry and pray. joe
I have just received the final instalment of your mini course and have found it absolutely helpful and encouraging. I have mentioned before that I am a side line supporter for a step-daughter (37yo) and have just re-read the 10 Greatest Lies about BiPolar Disorder. I am so glad that you reminded us of this, David as I am now 100% convinced (as opposed to the 98.9% before) that my husband and his ex really need to read this valuable documentation and broach the subject with our loved one.
Many thanks for all your hard work and great efforts to give us such valuable tools of disorder management. I am really tempted to undertake the other course as it may transpire one day that I be one of the main support of my stepdaughter. In any case, I feel a lot more equipped now than before I started your course.
All the very best for now.
Warmest regards, Lesley