The Big Secret To Controlling Destructive Bipolar Episodes

Hi,

Well it looks like everything is moving along nicely
with my mom and her second episode. Basically
in about 10 days or so she went from doing well
to going into a manic episode. That’s all it
took. I didn’t even really know that was possible.

Actually on this note, someone wrote me via email
and said I act like I know everything. Actually
that person is completely wrong. Unlike most
people I believe I don’t know everything and that’s
why I am constantly learning new stuff related
to this disorder.

The person commented that I act as if, my courses/
systems are perfect and I am all knowing. First,
let me say, if you are going to get my courses/systems.

These:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com/

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net/

And you are doing so, because you think EVERY single
answer to ALL situations and problems with bipolar disorder
is perfectly explained, analyzed and covered, please
don’t get them. Don’t do it. Because if you are thinking
this, it’s not true. With my courses/systems, my emails,
podcasts, articles, etc. I simply try to talk about
things that I think are important and do work well.

BUT, bipolar disorder is indeed a formidable enemy.
Sometimes things come up you just don’t know could
have come up. When this happens, you make decisions
based on all the information in your head. You see
there are certain things that are in my head. I know
a ton of strategies and when my mom went into this
most recent episode, I was able to create a number
of custom strategies for the current situation.

For example no where in any of my bipolar courses/
systems do I talk about a patient undoing a medical
release and you not being informed. That’s what happen
to me and it made it initially very hard to communicate
with my mom’s treatment team. BUT, I used 3 counter
strategies to get around this problem.

I hope this all makes sense? I guess what I am saying
is you get as much information as you can, then you
try to make the best decisions based on the information
you have. If you aren’t moving in the right direction then
try another strategy or get more information and try
another strategy.

Now, the big secret to controlling destructive bipolar
episodes is being proactive. Back in the day, nobody
in my family would ever address my mom’s bipolar disorder.
If my mom started going into an episode, NOBODY did
anything. Nothing. My mom could be screaming, yelling,
spending all the money and nobody said or did anything.

As I kid, I was conditioned to ignore it. Actually I never
even know what my mom had. We just didn’t talk about it.

As a result of this appeasement philosophy or do nothing
episodes that should have been quick and small turned
into huge descriptive episodes.

Today, when we see something, we take massive AND immediate
action right away. No waiting. This is why, with my mom’s
most current episode there was little to no damage done
because of all the systems in place and the first we
took massive and immediate action to get her back on
track.

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/

  1. I’m very thankful to all the information you share with us. You might not know everything but, who does? One thing for sure you know a lot more than what i do and your information helps to deal with this condition. So, keep up the good work. There are lots and lots of us that need your help. Thanks Dave, Ileana

  2. You have the right idea.I think you need to stay more on the subject of bi-polar.I understand your mom is the reason you do this.Maybe it’s not good for her bi-polar to read about herself on the internet everyday.I know I would not like it.

  3. I am finding your information very helpful. I don’t think anyone knows everything about bipolar disorder. If they did … there would be a cure. I think you are doing a great job and reaching a lot of people who need it. Thanks!

  4. Dear Dave,
    I hate to shatter you but this will happen on and off. My mom has been ill since 1975. As she gets older things seem to take longer to resolve. I’ts almost been a year now she has not been well. My mom is 78 years old. We started at manic depression to bi-polar episodes. My father was always here to take care of her. We lost my father to lung cancer last year. None of us were prepared for that he had not even started kemotheraphy. So my brothers and I have been doing our best to take control of the situation. We have the a great doctor and my father had excellent medical benefits. But I’m here to tell you, you just never know. So you have to be on your toes. I have moved in with my mom I’ve been living with her for a year now. It’s trying, it’s like living with Sybil. We just she what mood she hasd that day and keep plugging.

  5. David
    Thank you for your honesty. Bipolar is truly a devastating disease for everyone involved. No one can know everything, you just do the best you can with the info available. I’m glad to find someone who cares! My brother who is 49 yrs old has been on meds from various doctors for bipolar and chronic neck pain. He

  6. My question is how do I support my loved one when he doesn’t live near me? He lives in Taiwan and I live in Michigan. My brother was diagnosed as bi-polar several months ago when he was going through a difficult divorce and his wife diappeared with their daughter. The divorce is final and they “share” custody, which means she gets the girl all week and they switch every other week-end. Things are much better now, but he still has episodes. Usually during work holidays when he spends too much time alone or the week-end without my niece. When he is having an episode he calls every day and night, because he thinks his big sister can “fix everything” I know he edits what he tells me about his doctor’s visits and I’m not getting the entire story

    I have no way to contact his doctors or his employer. Even if I could somehow find his doctor, there is a good chance the office staff won’t speak English. I will not be moving to Taiwan, and he does not plan to leave Taiwan for at least a decade (that’s when his daughter turns 18) How practical is your course for me?

  7. David
    Thank you for your honesty. Bipolar is truly a devastating disease for everyone involved. No one can know everything, you just do the best you can with the info available. I’m glad to find someone who cares! My brother who is 49 yrs old has been on meds from various doctors for bipolar and chronic neck pain. He has used drugs since jr high and has always had ADHD. He lives with our 73 yo mother but has a wife and 4 children in another state. My mom and dad have always enabled him. They buy him cars and motorcycles, bail him out of jail, send him to other states to run businesses which always end up in disaster. My dad recently died, and my mom allows my brother to live and travel with her. She claims to want to help him, but tough love is not on the menu. I have been encouraging her to get your course, but so far she makes excuses. I think he really needs to be institutionalized for several months to realize he can cope without drugs and alcohol. I truly want to help him realize his full potential, but I can hardly stand to be near him. He has been to several Dr.s over the last few years- no good ones I’m afraid. They don’t seem to be very interested in truly managing bipolar. They just want to give pills and trust a mentally diseased patient to take according to instructions! I also feel I am not only cheated out of a relationship with my only brother, but my mother as well since she is so committed to “caring” for my brother. How can I get my mother to read your material?
    terry

  8. You know,a few weeks ago when you mentioned that your mother had changed therapists and that it was her doing, I was a little concerned. Sounds like something my daughter would do. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this again. I’m tired of it myself. Very tired. Daughter started showing signs of being wired differently as an infant. It wasn’t labeled as Bi-polar type 2 until she was 16. Now she’s almost 22. She won’t see a psychiatrist–fortunately her regular MD seems to know his stuff about her meds and she’s currently balanced–she’s tired of therapists and says none of them help her. She is still talking to church leaders, but they are hardly trained therapists. I’m tired of riding the unpredictable roller coaster and of her irrational behavior and thinking. Sometimes I wish some handsome guy with deep pockets and strong shoulders would just come and take her off my hands–she is talented and pretty–but that wouldn’t be fair to him. Oh, one good thing–she’s now held a job down for two months. THat’s a first for her.

  9. it is those who know nothing that think some one who is doing what works might know everything.

    I am thank full for the research you do. Proactive is the way to be and it is a mind set more could adopt.

    think some just want an excuse for them selves or a reason not to stand by someone who might have an illness.

    Providing the information that you possess and sharing the way you do is to be commended. I know you have helped me with you daily tid bits to recognize more about my self to try to keep on the right tract to be as focused as I can be. With this disorder.

  10. David,

    congratulations. i am very happy that your mother is doing well again, that’s great.

    please ignore the negative commentary because personally, i value your efforts to support your 90,000 plus supporters and sufferers of bipolar disorder.

    thanks again,
    Ahmed

  11. Right so, bring it on!!

    No-one can ever know everything there is to know about something. THere is always changes causing a ripple effect in the pond, you can only adjust or tweak your strageties to keep the balance. That’s how I’ve began coping with supporting Bi polar. You gotta go with the flow like taking the rough with the smooth.

  12. Dear Dave,
    Thanks for all your help. You are always right, a bipolar personality can always surprise. My story as an adult ipolar bsupporter has een ended. My friend broke up, found another woman nearby him. He informed me shortly that he hope I am happy for him. I confirmed my understanding and wished happiness. He promised to be a better friend then he had been. Now I see this is the only solution. The more I tried to help and be better, the more he kept a distance. He was such a bipolar model, which was indulged in his happiness or depression, not enough efforts and energy was left for anyone or anything else. I give it up. In the beginning I thought that is just a normal Italian genes personality, fiery, a bit artistic personality. It is really an ugly illness. Best luck to all of you, Andrea

  13. I am so relieved that I am not the only one suffering from this disease. So many of my family members and past partners have thought it to be an excuse for bad behaviour. I recently had an episode and my spouse physically threw me and my children (8 & 2) out of our house. He claimed that he did not like the way I was speaking to him. I ended up homeless with my children and extremely unstable. I think it is wonderful that you are heightening people’s awareness of this disease because educating ourselves and those around us is our best line of defence.

  14. Thanks for your info Dave. My son has bi-polar and has been put on epilim which has worked like magic for him. We all hope that it will keep on as he has become normal and is a great guy. Annie p

  15. I found your site while researching I have had a feeling for awhile that my depression and axiety had a cause other than what the doctors thought. well today I was told I am bi-polar
    I am looking forward to your emails and hope they help me to deal with this. I am a single mom and I want to not put my kids thru what you and others have been thru.
    jaded

  16. So appreciate the comments from others and YOU, Dave. Interesting to be going through a flare at the same time you are/were. My daughter, who is 28, is the bipolar individula in my life… being an adult makes it both easier and harder !!! Her flares are typically characterized by suicidal expressions which the professionals, while expressing concern, seem to think they will go no further. I’m reminded that ANY suicidal expressions need to be taken seriously and in the future i won’t wait so long to drag, push, pull, call 911 and encourage others to do the same. We can’t afford to write it off as ‘a manic episode’ or ‘a depressive episode’.

    Secondly, Dave I have to take you to task on your comments regarding therapists. As a therapist my self, I’m stymied that you run into incomplete records. Mental health regulations expressly state that records must be kept on individuals. Any clinician worth their salt is also going to collect collateral information, even if that is just a phone call to physician, other therapist, if appropriate. As in any profession, there are lazy folk, there are those who do the minimum actually to protect the patient should the records be subpoened, particularly if demanded by the health insurance for rule-out purposes. Have to say i’m really very pleased with the professionals this go round.. the big difference being having me there as she met with them to clarify, encourage more information from daughter, etc. Try to think of this as a collaborative effort between friends, family and professionals.. we really do need to all be working together !!
    Betsy

  17. I wish I had more knowledge of bipolar episodes many years ago. My grandson was classified as ADHD in early teens and had a history of violence. Breaking things, hitting his sister in the stomach very hard, shoving his mother around,etc. He admitted to being on drugs for many years but said he was now off them. MY daughter lived with me and my grandson was around much of the time. She said he was threatening her secretly when no one was around to hear it, and was being abusive to her. Several times her arms were bruised and if she were near a door, he’d slam it shut so it hit her in the back.She told me that he had threatened to slit her throat several times. Last August she was in her bedroom and he picked up a fan that stood on the floor and threw at her-broke the window- but missed her.Her arms were cut and bruised and she picked up a gun and shot him. Now she in in jail and he is dead. I believe now that he was bipolar and this was a major episode. Can this be right? Can this happen in a bipolar episode? Will someone help me know if this could have been the case? Please hurry with the answer as I need information right away. E

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