==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
Hi,
How are you?
I have two important things about
bipolar disorder I wanted to share today.
One is about success and bipolar disorder
the other is about a major, and I mean major
bipolar success story.
It’s really strange, I had two phone calls from
two people that asked if they could be successful
with bipolar disorder. They were really
sincere and I kind of thought it was a
joke that my friends were playing on me.
It wasn’t.
Then I thought what a strange question because
the answer is absolutely yes!
You can achieve success with bipolar disorder
if you learn how to manage it. I believe
that learning how to manage bipolar
disorder is something that anyone can learn.
My mom has learned how to and so have all
the people who work for me with bipolar disorder
in addition to many other individuals that I have
come across.
When I first started doing this, one of the
first things I found was that it took many people
with bipolar disorder years and years to figure
out how to manage the disorder.
Asked myself, why is this? I started talking to
lots of people and started to find out there
were some common themes with the unsuccessful
and the successful…that is I looked
at both groups of people.
I think the problem starts with the mental health
system. We’ve talked about before how people
go to the doctor, get a diagnosis, aren’t really
told what they have or how to manage it, they
only get 20 minutes with a doctor, most books
don’t provide much practical information, etc.
I have finally figured out that the “short cut”
to success with bipolar is to
learn from those that have already walked down
the path so to speak.
BUT the very first thing that most be done before
anything is a belief that one can be successful
with bipolar disorder. Or if you are a bipolar
supporter, you must believe that your loved one
can get better.
When you don’t have belief than success won’t
really follow.
I will tell you a story of a person who
had bipolar disorder that did really poorly
with it for a long, long time. At first
he never took the illness seriously. Actually
at first he never really believed he had
it even though several doctors said he did.
He went around and didn’t really take his
medication or do what the doctor said.
Eventually he lost his entire family because
they couldn’t put up with it anymore.
Finally one day he had a major breakdown and
was put into the hospital.
Everyone though he would be in the hospital
forever and never amount to anything. People
said he would be dead soon and there was little
to no hope for him.
He told me, people betted against him—
especially family members. His family
left him.
However, one person really believed in him in the
hospital.
There he finally decided to accept his diagnosis
and he was told by someone else in the hospital
that worked there that he could be a success
as long as he did certain things and managed
his disorder.
The person really beat into his head he could
be a success. Not literally but figuratively
of course.
Those “talks” with the hospital workers inspired
him and he decided to learn everything he could
about the disorder, find a great doctor, listen
to the doctor, and find a mentor to help him
with his bipolar disorder.
He did all of this.
Eventually after a few years, he was able to
remarry, have kids, build a successful business
and have a great life.
He is just ONE example. There are many more.
Many are contained in my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
The thing is, you really have to believe
that you can be successful if you have bipolar
disorder. And if you are a supporter, you really
have to believe your loved one can be a success.
When my mom first went into her major episode,
I was 100% convinced she could get better and
be a success. Nobody in the family but me thought
so. A few family members thought maybe she could
do okay and kind of get by.
For some reason, maybe I was just too dumb to
realize what I was up against. I thought
it was totally possible for my mom to be
a success with bipolar and that we could
have a solution to all my mom’s problems
and we would find a great doctor who would
help her.
I must say, I am not sure why I had so much
belief. I wasn’t reading bipolar success stories,
and at the time I didn’t know anyone who had
bipolar disorder and was successful.
BUT, as I look back this was a key to my mom’s
success both her belief and my belief.
I am sure if people are honest on my list,
they will say that belief is the foundation
of success with bipolar disorder.
Hey if you have a good story about belief
in yourself or your loved one please post it.
It’s kind of strange, I get calls from people.
They get one of my courses/systems, and use
the f.ree consultation certificate. Some
call and say something like this, “well
there’s no hope for so and so but I had this
question and wanted to see if you had any
ideas. You probably don’t and there’s probably
no hope but I just kind of wanted to check
with you.”
They tell me the “problem”, 99% of the time
I have an immediate answer and the people are
amazed and start to believe there is hope.
I remember this one guy, well I can’t get into
that story today. I am going to get into this
other story tomorrow. There was one guy that
called me and he was a wreck, his wife left
him and he was in a major episode. He seriously
believed there was absolutely positively no
hope. He was desperate and wanted to fly me
in to see him.
I spent a whole lot of time with him on
the phone. It was back when I had a much
smaller mailing list. I first attacked
his beliefs and convinced him the situation
could be turned around. I then gave him
many strategies and eventually his wife
became stable and now they are married.
It’s kind of cool that I have been doing this
for more than 2 years and I have a long list of
success stories and I can see people over an
extended period of time. BUT again, the key
starts with belief. It’s a simple thing,
doesn’t cost anything (it doesn’t cost
anything to believe, it’s f.ree) but it’s powerful.
I have to take off. See you tomorrow.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Ok, I know someone who isolated from me almost three months ago, and now when sees me–runs, as if I was a stranger.
The sad think is she does not realize something is wrong, and the family either, plus they totally forbid me from contacting her…
What are other options to help her?
Hi Dave,
I have been 5150’d actually now 15 times!! I lost the support of my family and all my friends. I was diagnosed about 5 years ago. It has been the worst experience of my life but on the other hand the most educational experience of my life also. I found at least for me acceptance was the major key in my recovery. Once I accepted my disease I started the road to recovery, i.e. I became med compliant, therefore I became more stable in my behavoir which lead to better relationships better choices I thought about the consequences of my actions, I have started my own business which is really taking off!! I have gained the love and trust of my family back!! Now don’t get me wrong all this did not happen over night it has taken years of hard work on my part and a lot of pain tears and suffering but I have done it. Bipolar sucks and there is no guarantee I will not relapse, but my family has learned a lot since we have reunited. I have tried to educate them, so they will hopefully be there for me if I do relapse. I have tried to explain I can not control it it controls me I can just manage it as best as I can. And I fight every day to manage it. So success is possible, I always tell everyone I know you can take anything you want from me but the one thing you can not ever take from me is my HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shelly
Sacramento, CA
As someone who DOESN’T have this condition and feeling the pain of people rejecting/leaving my life for various reasons, I could not imaging how someone who DOES have this condition must feel and how much more they have to fight for their success. This article encouraged me to continue to be a loving patient supporter (not enabler)and to be there when needed.
David you’re absolutely correct it takes immense patience & faith to deal w/ bipolar/BPD disorders! Esp. because there’s so much ignorance & negligence involved – often, too, this problem is compounded w/ co-occurring drug & alcohol addictions. Yes, those whom are self-medicating, – destructing & are walking, ticking time bombs.
Tragically, David, there are so many whom are unable to understand nor care because they’re incapable to empathize like you, for instance, or are not humane caretakers, people w/ genuine fellow feeling. Also, there are those that hallucinate & have schizoaffective disorder – bipolar + schizophrenia. Indeed, many homeless are so afflicted. As more people, of course, become conscientised much more can be done for these suffering, devastated souls, so that they may live more peaceful, salubrious, & productive lives. So many are gifted & talented, however, instead of realizing their high potential they end up suiciding, imprisoned, totally wasted…
God bless.
Wow, I came today expecting some success stories; kind of surprised to find none. It’s been almost a year now, a very difficult, very challenging, horrible year; but my daughter is still alive. She often asks me about working and I truly don’t know what to tell her… would a job help her gain some stability? Who knows? She sleeps so much, its hard to tell where she’s at. She stopped her meds 4-6 weeks ago, is using some man she met as ‘the cure’.. not her words, but she just doesn’t seem to do very well at developing those self soothing techniques we all need. I gently give her options of things to do and try very hard to make it just that.. presenting information for her to decide on. Thing is she’s really too sick to do so.
Thanks so very much for your message of HOPE today.. lordy I needed that. Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. In the past few days while with this guy she’s cut both arms… breaks a mom’s heart to see so much pain in one who has so much to offer the world, to offer herself.
Hugs to you all… I really do have hope and faith that she will one day get her feet under her.
Betsy
Dave – I’ve written to you about MY success story. But – I wish you wouldn’t hold out too much hope for that small percentage of mentally ill people who absolutely CAN’T manage their illness OR get better instead of worse. Like the population at large, there are going to be those who ARE successful, and those who are limited.
BETSY, for one, I HOPE and PRAY that your daughter, being sooo young, can stop cutting and being suicidal. The right treatment plan, with the right medications (this may take awhile for the doctors to find just the RIGHT one), psychiatric help, and, especially, a therapist who is compassionate and willing to work with your daughter. She should stop self-medicating, and you should restrict her time with this MAN who seems to be acting like a hypnotist with her. You and your daughter BOTH have my prayers…
I’ll keep my success story short but SWEET. In 1968, I was hospitalized in a major nervous breakdown the doctors called “schizophrenia.” I had just achieved my dream job in D.C., working in a Senator’s office – something I had worked for since I was 12. The aftermath of recovery lasted just about a year, when I had a job as a medical records transcriptionist (I type 121 w/p/m) and was acting in a local theatrical troupe in “The Odd Couple.” I was “on top of the world,” so eventually I landed in the Psych Ward of the University Hospital and ultimately wound up in the State Mental Hospital where they sent me to die (I weighed 78 lbs – 5’9″ tall).
I went to live with my Mother for a little over one year, and shared an apartment with my best friend and got a job, which I kept for one year. Then, I had the opportunity for a MUCH better job. I worked there for one year.
Finally, I got a job in a prestigious legal firm and worked there without incident for three years. Unfortunately, the bipolar reared its ugly head, and I was committed to a rehab facility where they diagnosed me with manic depression. They put me on Lithium.
As I HAD to get a job when I got out (I owned an apartment house where I lived with two other families), I suffered for a YEAR with clinical depression (I had stopped the Lithium). It got sooo bad, I went to the local Community Mental Health Clinic, where they diagnosed the depression and put me on Desipramine AND the Lithium.
I got married about 3 years later, and didn’t have to work, but I was caretaker for my Mom with Alzheimer’s until I had to put her in a nursing home. I then lost my husband to a heart attack. I moved back to my apartment house, and applied for Social Security Disability. I now live on that and a small pension from my first late husband.
To make a long story short, I lost my beloved second husband in 2003. There were too many memories in the apartment house, so I moved to a condo not far from where I had lived.
I now own a condo, have two cats, am an Independent Contractor who does mystery shopping jobs when they come available, and answer surveys on the Internet. Oh – and they took me OFF Lithium, because it caused neuropathy in both legs, so I was put on Depakote.
No, I WON’T make headlines as Woman of the Year, or make a million dollars, but I’ve just told my boyfriend I love him – and he’s willing to become my supporter! I can honestly say, right now, I’m HAPPY; no, content is more like it. YES, I NEVER know when the next episode will hit – none of us do. Bipolar disorder is sooo capricious; it is no respecter of persons. Even the most successful bipolar CAN/WILL have another manic or depressive (or both) episode eventually – it’s the preparation that we have to do that is so important.
I try to follow Dave’s 9 or 10 point plan (take meds, get plenty of sleep, see therapist, etc.), and am succeeding with most of them. If you just have FAITH and BELIEF in yourself (or supporters, have faith in your loved one), NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD. You CAN do it – just put one foot in front of the other, and MOVE. That is sometimes the most difficult thing you will ever have to do…
BIG HUGS to all bipolars and the ones who love them. God loves you, and so do I.
Right. ~Sher
I had only a couple of people i trusted during my major episode. one of them kept saying-this is all manageable, all your problems are manageable. eventually i started to believe it! and hey, after 3 months meds & lots of talking with good people-friends/psychiatrist/nurse/family i am doing really well. but always aware to monitor myself if things are starting to slide-which they will at times but not to worry just deal with it properly. and don’t focus on the condition-it’s individual so focus on what you know will make YOU better.
I believe God put us together and He can put us back together..my ex divorced me 4 years ago..it has been a hard row to tow but we had such a good marriage for awhile and four wonderful kids and one graddaughter on the way..I am not starting over with someone else and nothing is too hard for God so if I have to wait until we are 60, 70 or 80 I will wait and want to be remarried. We are 50 now.
iv never been diagnosed, and actually just signed up for this out of curiosity. but how do i know the difference between bipolar and well, depression?
Dear Dave,
Is it ususal for bipolar people to feint frequently?
mandira
Hi. Thanks for your blog. I have bipolar II and have been a successful CEO and executive for the past 15 years — but not without problems, especially with work relationships and after medication with motivation. I have my own blog with lots of info on my experiences and life. Thanks — The Bipolar CEO — http://www.bipolarceo.com
After 30+ years of actively seeking help and finding enough heart eroding frustration to fill a city dump, I have finally come to understand exactly what it is I have. The explanation of the diagnosis that fits perfectly came out of a book by Patty Duke called , “A Brilliant Madness”.
I am most certainly a Bipolar 11-cyclothymic rapid cycler. I don’t think I could have thought of a better tag that sounds something like a fancy motorcycle. But it’s so tragically sad that after the incredible journey and years spent trusting untrustworthy practitioners and mental health systems, that I found this out myself. No one, including one well-known specialist, was able to diagnose me properly.
Now that I have recovered from my initial sadness, I get what I’m aiming at and I feel renewed hope.
I understand what ‘we’ are going to be treating and medicating for which makes a huge difference. But let’s get serious…what kind of a tag is that??? A BPD II cyclothymic rapid cycler? Try telling that to the judge, or anyone else not in the “field” for that matter. For all my love and talents, I have no extended family left. But I do still have a grown son (non-BP) a daughter (certainly yet to be diagnosed) and a long suffering saint of a boy friend.
I am perplexed and dumbfounded, but seriously hopeful!! Thanks to the Great Patty (Anna) Duke for her courage! Thanks also Dave.
After 30+ years of actively seeking treatment with enough frustration to fill a city dump, I have finally stumbled upon the diagnosis that fits me perfectly. The insight came from a book by Patty (Anna) Duke called “A Brilliant Madness”. I am most certainly a Bipolar II cyclothymic rapid cycler. I am still shocked to see these words written here. I couldn’t have invented a tag that sounded more like a fancy motorcycle if I tried. But try telling it to the Judge or anyone else not in the mental health or healing arts field!! After recovering from an initial sadness meltdown, I now feel renewed hope, I know what I’m aiming at now. I’ve been diagnosed bi-polar many times without any real relief for endless reasons, most of which would be too painful to elude to here. I still have what is left of a relationship to my long suffering saint/boyfriend and a daughter who has yet to be diagnosed. I also have an older son who does not seem to be afflicted. Bi-Polar people are special!! Thanks Patty and Dave!