Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

Let me ask you something: Do you ever feel as if you’re the only one going through what you’re going through right now? The only one who has to deal with the problems that you have to deal with? Would it help you to know that you aren’t the only one? If you have financial problems, well, so do other people. Maybe you can learn from them. Maybe it’s just a matter of learning how to problem solve. Like in the case of financial problems, you might want to look at getting out of debt. You can talk to a debt counselor about that. You might want to look at where your money is going. You can sit down with your loved one and figure that out, and then develop a budget. Then you have to stick to living within your means. It may take time, but if you do these things, you may no longer have financial problems.

And you must know that you’re not the only person with a loved one who has bipolar disorder.

You can go to just one support group meeting and find other people in the same boat as you are in. You can even get some good advice on dealing with your own loved one from a support group. Unfortunately, in our culture we have become isolated from each other. To the point that we sometimes think we’re the only person with the problems that we have. That makes those problems harder to solve.

Sometimes we get jealous of other people. We think they’ve got it easier than we do. Kind of like “the grass is always greener on the other side” type of thing. But everyone has problems.

Would you even want to trade yours for someone else’s? Think about it. You know the expression, “No matter how bad you’ve got it, someone else has it worse.” That’s true. And remembering that can help you have a more positive attitude. Some people just sit around waiting for “the other shoe to drop.” They expect that they’re going to have more problems than they already have. That’s like you waiting on eggshells for your loved one’s next episode.

That’s no way to live. You have to believe in your loved one’s stability. Otherwise, it’s just another unsolvable problem.

No, you are not the only one. Many millions of people right now are struggling with bipolar disorder. The difference between it being a problem or not is how you approach it. Either it controls you, or you control it. What are you doing today to help your loved one get control over their bipolar disorder? Are you being a good supporter and helping them to manage their disorder? Or are you spending too much time worrying…Maybe even feeling sorry for yourself… Thinking that you’re the only one going through what you’re going through?

 

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews604/

NCAN: Scientists Identify Gene Linked With Mania In Bipolar Disorder
DO> Interesting study about manic gene.

The Fish Oil Debate: Great Brain Medicine, or Just an Expensive Placebo?
DO> Is fish oil really as great as you think? Read and find out.

SUDs common in youth at high risk for bipolar disorder
DO> Very interesting article on substance use.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews604/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

Today I want to talk to you about the fact that I think you are lucky. I know, I was talking about this with someone the other day who has bipolar disorder, and when I said that, they thought I was crazy. You probably do, too! You probably can’t think of even one reason why you’re lucky at all. And if you’re a supporter, you’re probably thinking the same thing. But whether you have bipolar disorder or are supporting someone who does, I’m telling you that you are lucky. And I’m going to tell you why. If you are reading this, then you are already thinking about a mental illness. You may think you have one. You may know you have one. You may think your loved one has one. You may know your loved one has one. The great thing is, though, that you are thinking in this direction. That makes you lucky.

Because there are millions of people with a mental illness that don’t know that there is anything wrong with them. Did you know that there are 1 in 4 people with a diagnosable mental illness?

And I’m not making that up! It’s the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) that says that!

Now, that’s a national government agency saying that, not me! And many of these people don’t even know that they have a mental illness! Do you know how sad, or even scary that is? Just think of the statistic I’m always telling you about people with bipolar disorder. That 20%, or 1 in 5 people, who don’t take medication for the disorder, will kill themselves. Some of those people are those who don’t even know that they have bipolar disorder! So, if you have bipolar disorder, if you’ve been diagnosed with it, and are taking medication for it …You are lucky. And if you’re supporting a loved one with it and are helping them with their medications…You are lucky.

Because you/they aren’t going to be a statistic.

I have seen this 1 in 4 statistic in action. I have had friends that fly off the handle for no reason.

Friends who spend money like the world is coming to an end. I have one friend who is so paranoid that he thinks there is a global conspiracy! I have seen people (and I know that you have, too) wandering around the streets homeless, dirty, and talking to themselves. You know that these people have an undiagnosed mental illness. So, you’re lucky that yours or your loved one’s is at least diagnosed!

Once a mental illness is diagnosed, then you can do something about it. Then you can become educated about it. Then you can take medication for it. Then you can develop a treatment plan for it. Then you can learn how to manage your disorder.

You can talk to other people who have the same disorder. You can do so many things to help yourself recover. You can become STABLE! Don’t you see how lucky you are?

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

Remember when you were in school? Was it a positive or negative experience for you? I hope it was a positive one. Do you still remember your favorite teacher? Why? Because they had some special quality that you admired? Because they made a boring class fun? Because you learned so much from them? These or any number of answers could be the reason why you still remember your favorite teacher. But I want you to think of being a teacher in a different way today. I want you to think of yourself as a teacher. You are, you know.

If you have bipolar disorder or are supporting someone who does, you are teaching every time you go out the door of your home. You teach others what it is like to be someone with a mental illness or to support someone who does. There is an expression: “You teach people how to treat you.” When I talk to people, I talk about bipolar behavior – about what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior. But I’m talking now just about your behavior in general. If you have bipolar disorder and are stable, you will act a certain way. In fact, I know someone who has the disorder, but if you didn’t know better, you’d never know it. That’s stable behavior. And if you can be like that, you teach people that people that have bipolar disorder can be just as “normal” as they are. You teach them that adversity can be overcome. You teach them that bipolar disorder is NOT a death sentence! You teach them that someone with the disorder can be high functioning. If you have started your own home business, you teach your clients/customers that you are a good business person (in spite of having bipolar disorder).

If you are a supporter, you can teach other supporters. Just by virtue of the fact that you don’t complain about your situation, makes you a good supporter example. You teach them that bipolar disorder can be lived with on a daily basis. You teach them that the disorder doesn’t have to rule your life. You teach them that being a good supporter is possible. You may even teach them some of your methods or strategies for dealing with it.

But in either case, whether you are someone with bipolar disorder or supporting someone who does, you are being a teacher – Because you are teaching them what bipolar disorder looks like. You are putting a face on the disorder, in other words. And people need to see that to truly understand the disorder. Now, that can be good or bad, depending how you look at it. If you have it and are stable, you teach people that someone with bipolar disorder can act normally. If you have it but aren’t stable, you paint a different picture. You teach them that it’s a struggle to be stable. Your bipolar behavior may make you stand out. And you may be the only person they know with bipolar disorder, so they will judge all other people with the disorder by you and your behavior. Stigma is a horrible thing, and has hurt many people with bipolar disorder. But if you can keep your bipolar behavior positive, you can teach people that you can cope with having it.

That anyone can.

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

Today I want to talk to you about something I call: THE BIPOLAR RUMOR The bipolar rumor is when one person hears about someone they know claiming to have heard about someone they know being cured of bipolar disorder (did you get that? I know, it sounds confusing). Then they tell someone they know about someone they know who knows someone they know who was cured of bipolar disorder. Then they tell someone who tells someone else who tells someone else…Get the picture? It reminds me of that commercial on TV awhile back for some shampoo that said , “And they’ll tell 2 people…and they’ll tell 2 people…and they’ll tell 2 people…” and on and on and on…And all this telling people is all based upon a RUMOR to begin with!!!

It’s important to me for you to know that there really is NOT a cure for bipolar disorder at this time. That’s a sad fact, but at least there is treatment for the disorder, and management of it.

But for people to claim some miraculous cure should be illegal! In fact, it is unethical, if not illegal, when some company tries to sell you some product that claims to cure bipolar disorder.

You need to be careful of any product that claims to be a “natural cure” for bipolar disorder, because there just isn’t one! So you should KNOW that it is bogus! It will never be able to say that it is backed by the FDA (except as a FOOD product, not as a cure). But this is SO dangerous! I know of one woman who believed in this BIPOLAR RUMOR. She believed in it so much that she stopped taking her medication, believing that she was CURED of bipolar disorder. 8 months later, she took a gun and killed herself. What was worse was that she not only claimed this “cure” for herself (before she died), but she told MANY other people about it. They, too, went off THEIR medication! And they, too, went into bipolar episodes! Luckily, they didn’t kill themselves, because they had good supporters, and they realized they really weren’t “cured,” but just think about what could have happened to them!

There really is NO CURE for bipolar disorder at this time, unfortunately. And anyone who claims that there is, is NOT telling the truth – they are only spreading a RUMOR. A potentially deadly RUMOR. If you have found yourself in this situation, I BEG YOU NOT TO LISTEN TO THIS RUMOR! Please, please, DO NOT GO OFF YOUR MEDICATION, no matter what you hear! I know, some of these claims can sound really good. In fact, I’ve read some of them myself on the Internet. There’s one man who claims he was able to go off his medication 5 years ago and is still stable with his bipolar disorder today. And he is claiming that he is CURED of the disorder! Not only that, but he is claiming that you can be cured, too! And this is VERY dangerous. Well, think about that. Even if it were true that he is stable today (after ONLY 5 years), what works for (only, and I stress ONLY) one person, does not mean it’s going to work for another person. Secondly, he is trying to sell you something. He is trying to make money off this RUMOR! And that is so dangerous, because if YOU go off your medications, you can die!

So please don’t listen to this deadly BIPOLAR RUMOR, and stay on your medications!

Have you ever seen these ads for natural cures for bipolar disorder? If you’ve ever been tempted to try them, DON’T! And even if you are, ALWAYS check with your doctor FIRST! NEVER go off your medication without checking with your doctor.

 

 

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews603/

Rep. Jackson leaves Mayo Clinic after bipolar disorder treatment
DO> This has been getting a lot of attention lately. Check it out.

Bipolar man dies in police custody
DO> This is so sad. Take a look.

Bipolar conversion in children linked to family history News-Medical.net
DO> Do you have one of these children?

Monthly sunlight increase linked to age at BD onset News-Medical-Net
DO> Interesting article. Good information, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews603/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

Sometimes, trying to cope with a loved one with bipolar disorder can make you feel alone. You might feel like there are others who know what you’re going through when you’re at yoursupport group (if you attend one), but what about all the time in between meetings? You can feel pretty alone. If you do, just know that that’s a common feeling for bipolar supporters to have. And that you are NOT alone! I want to share with you some information that will support that and that might make you feel better.

First of all, did you know that mental illnesses are very common? Well, they are. In fact, they are more common than cancer, diabetes or heart disease. According to the U.S. Surgeon General, an estimated 23% of American adults (those ages 18 and older) – about 44 million people – and about 20% of American children suffer from a mental disorder during a given year. And about 5 million Americans adults, and more than 5 million children and adolescents suffer from a serious mental disorder (one that significantly interferes with functioning). Major depression, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are among the top 10 leading causes of disability in the United States.

Mental illness does not discriminate. It can affect people of any age, income or education level, or cultural background.

And as far as bipolar disorder specifically…Approximately 4.4 percent of U.S. adults may have some form of bipolar disorder during some point in their lifetime, including about 2.4 percent with a “sub-threshold” condition. Since the population of the United States right now is 313,232,044…That means that MILLIONS of people have bipolar disorder! So you are definitely NOT alone. And you are NOT the only one going through what you’re going through, no matter what it feels like. Though I do know how you feel. I went through it when I was trying to help my mom. I thought I was the only one going through what I was going through, too. I thought it just couldn’t be that bad for anyone else in the world. And I wouldn’t wish what I was going through on my worst enemy! It was just unbearable at times. I look back at it now and wonder sometimes how I got through it all. Because I remember feeling back then that I wouldn’t. I felt so alone. But the fact is that I DID get through it. And you will, too.

I know that right now things look pretty tough. And you may feel discouraged. But things do get better. Actually…What happens with bipolar disorder is that things ebb and flow like the tides.

Sometimes they’re pretty bad, like now. But other times…Things can be pretty good. That’s usually what happens between bipolar episodes. What they call the “normal” periods. Those are the times to look forward to. Those are the times your loved one will make the most progress.

Those are the times that make it all worth it.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews602/

Chandler poet finds focus after bipolar diagnosis
DO> Interesting article, take a look.

Lithium Toxicity – What You Need to Know
DO> Great article about something you need to know.

Testosterone levels linked to BD course
DO> Interesting article, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews602/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for
all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

I saw a post on my blog from Mona that I wanted to share with you because I think it’s really important.

She said:

“I have a question, Dave, if that’s alright. BTW, I do agree with you on the ‘baby steps’ concept. My question is this: Can you tell me what kind of responses might come from a person with bipolar if they are trying to repair a relationship (from a bad episode) and the person does not want to have anything to do with them (because of what happened)? Could that trigger a suicidal response? (Or some sort of retaliation?) And if so, how can a support person help their bipolar loved one get through such harsh reality, or how can they help prevent such a response?”

———————————————————————————————————————

Well, first of all, like I always say, I’m not a doctor, therapist, or any other kind of medical or mental health professional, so I can’t give that kind of advice. I can only give my opinion, based on my experience. But I will tell you, this is not the first email I’ve gotten like this. And Mona does bring up quite a few points. Many times, a person with bipolar disorder will do things during a bipolar episode (especially during a manic episode) that has consequences to it. And sometimes these consequences are bad ones, and it’s hard for their supporter to handle them, or even to forgive them for what they did during the episode. There may have been risky sexual behavior, or even an affair. Sometimes it could even involve a pregnancy. There may have been excessive spending, or poor business decisions, that may have affected (or even drained) the family’s finances. Some people have even gone bankrupt because of the person’s manic episode.

There may have been other things that happened as well that hurt the relationship. The supporter may have some negative feelings, like hurt, anger, resentment, etc. Then these things might cause some real damage to the relationship. Even though the one with bipolar disorder wants to repair the relationship after they come out of the episode, the supporter might be reluctant to accept these attempts. Communication breakdown is very common in these instances. But if the supporter is no longer even willing to communicate with their loved one with bipolar, then it may cause their loved one to get worse, and they (the loved one) might go into a depression.

One of the symptoms of a depressive episode is suicidal thoughts. If this happens, it may not be your fault. After a manic episode, many people with bipolar disorder will “crash” into a bipolar depressive episode and have these kinds of thoughts anyway, because their thinking is distorted.

If this happens, they may have these suicidal thoughts. It’s part of the depression, part of their bipolar disorder. You can’t prevent them going into the depression, if it’s part of the crash from their manic episode to a depressive episode. The only thing you can do to help them at this point is to notice the signs of suicide, and to try to get them the help that they need. At this point, if you want to help them, you will need to put your own feelings of hurt, anger, resentment, and unforgiveness aside. If they are starting to talk about suicide, you MUST take them seriously, whether they really intend to go through with it or not.

Try to talk to them about it. Or at least try to get them to share their thoughts and feelings.

This is where the communication I was talking about earlier comes in. Try to convince them that they need help. If possible, try to get them to at least call the suicide hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE.

Try to get them to call their doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist for help. The point is, as Mona pointed out, this is a harsh reality that must be dealt with if your loved one’s reaction is one of threatening suicide. Please, take ALL threats of suicide seriously!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

Happy Labor if you are in the US and Celebrate it!

Okay…

There’s this old lady, and it seems like her favorite saying is: “Well, it’s not the be all and end all of everything, you know!” And it sounds funny, the way she says it. And she says it all the time!

About everything! You should hear her – it’s so funny! Lol And she’s so predictable, you can almost see it coming. Like when someone says something, like when they’re complaining about something, there she comes! You just know she’s gonna pull out her favorite expression! And…yep! Sure as rain, she does! But she does have a point. Like with bipolar disorder. It really isn’t the be all and end all of everything. I know it may seem like it sometimes. But it doesn’t have to be. That’s one of the things that I talk about to people – how you shouldn’t let your loved one’s bipolar disorder take over your whole lives. And I’m not saying that’s easy. Because it isn’t – it’s hard to take back the control from the bipolar. I’m just saying that it can be done, and that you should do it. That way you won’t be so overwhelmed by the bipolar disorder.

I mean…I know of one couple who don’t go anywhere or do anything. They are so overwhelmed by the bipolar disorder and it has so taken over their lives that they just don’t make ANY plans.

That’s because they live in so much fear that they might do something and the bipolar would get in the way. So they just do nothing. Well, that’s no way to live. To live in fear like that. And I don’t want you to live like that. So you need to take the control back. It’s true that there are some things you have no control over. Like you have no control over the fact that your loved one has bipolar disorder in the first place. Or the fact that it has no cure. But you do have control over the fact that it can be managed, and you can help them manage it. You don’t have control over the fact that they will sometimes go into bipolar episodes. But you do have control over the normal periods in between those episodes. And that’s where I want to talk about taking back your

power. It’s during those times that you can do the things that you want to do. The things that the episodes kept you from doing. It’s during those times that your loved one can make their best progress toward stability and recovery. And you don’t have to be afraid that the bipolar will interfere if you want to make plans and go out.

You can do anything you want during normal periods with bipolar disorder. As long as you continue to avoid your loved one’s bipolar triggers and stressors. And in this way you won’t let the bipolar be the be all and end all of your lives.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave