Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope you are doing great.

I have to go right away.

I have to go to my Goddaughter’s great grandmother’s funeral today.

Anyway, to read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews394

Artist faces her demons in gallery show
DO> Interesting, don’t you think?

Depression With Other Illnesses
DO> Good article.

Emotion in Beethoven and his music – psychiatry in music
DO> VERY interesting article.

Bipolar Disorder Linked To Older Fathers
DO> Something brand new you should take a look at.

New Study Finds That Add-On Therapy Improves Depressive Symptoms In Bipolar Disorder
DO> We have been saying this for years.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews394

POST RESPONSES TO THE NEWS HERE
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re having a good day.

Today I want to talk about what is, for most supporters, a very difficult subject:

What happens AFTER the episode, and how do I talk to my loved one?

I’ve been asked this question so many times in emails that I thought I should address it here.

One of the most important things you’re facing is your own fear of your loved one.

You’ve been through a lot because of the episode, that’s true.

They may have seemed like a totally different person to you (even if they’ve gone through episodes before, each one is different).

This episode may even have been a violent episode, and you may have been afraid for your life (this has actually happened to more than one of the people on my list).

You may be afraid to talk to your loved one because you have to tell them things you really don’t want to have to tell them.

You may have to discuss things like:

· Finances

· D.ebts

· Bills

· Pending bankruptcy

· An affair

· Risky sexual behavior

· Gambling

· A car accident

· Problems with your relationship

· Problems with the family

· Problems with the children

· Consequences of your loved one’s

actions during the episode

· Strange phone calls

· Your loved one’s behavior

· Things your loved one said to you

· Things your loved one did to you

And the problem is that they may not even remember any/all of this!

Another problem is that you have to deal with your own feelings before you even sit down to talk with them.

Make sure you have yourself under control even before you sit down to talk with your loved one after the episode.

In my courses/systems below I talk about POST-episode discussions and how to deal with them:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

But YOU have to be together, because your loved one may not be.

They may just be coming out of the hospital, for one thing. But you still have to have the discussion.

The most important thing is that you be HONEST with them.

Be honest about your feelings.

You are probably feeling very insecure right now.

Your world has turned upside down.

If the episode involved the police, well, that was pretty scary, and you need to talk about that.

If the episode involved violence in the home, you definitely need to talk about that honestly, because you don’t want that to happen again.

If your loved one treated you in any way that you do not want to be treated again (whether something they did or something they said), you have to make this clear to them, and you have to be honest about it.

If you are NOT honest, they will never know!

So the responsibility is on YOUR shoulders to tell them everything you are thinking and feeling about them and their episode…

Everything that happened (because they may not remember it)…

What you will tolerate…

What you will NOT tolerate…

How you want to be treated…

What you want them to do…

What you DON’T want them to do…

What the both of you need to do together…

What their treatment plan is going to be…

How things are going to go from here…

How things are going to be from now on…

Now don’t get me wrong. I am NOT saying (so don’t send me any hate mail) that you should take over the relationship or anything.

I am NOT saying anything of the kind, so please don’t misunderstand me. Your loved one is in a very fragile condition right after an episode.

They are probably feeling pretty insecure themselves right after the episode.

So it’s really important that you do all of the above things with a kind, loving, supportive, and understanding attitude.

Work things out together. But be HONEST with them.

That’s the most important thing.

Otherwise, you’ll just keep your negative feelings bottled up inside you, and that will just lead to resentment, anger, and frustration that will just build from episode to episode…

And you don’t want that.

So be honest with your loved one after their episode.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

Yesterday I talked about the news and how it can be depressing when it comes to bipolar disorder.

MANY people asked if I really don’t watch it. I seriously don’t. I read the news because I can target and avoid what I call the hype and nonsense.

Okay, so on to today’s topic. I was talking to my friend the other day about how I maintain such a low body fat.

It’s because I set up rules for myself. There’s things I will do and other things I will not do. I do not drink. I don’t eat junk every day. I work out in an organized fashion and I work out often.

I have rules that I follow. These rules lead to my objectives. I have goals.

Bipolar supporters have to do the same things. you have to set goals. You have to have objectives. You have to have rules that you follow, or else!

Or else what? Or else you will stress out. Or else you will burn out. Or else you will have no energy. Or else you will give so  much to your loved one that there will be nothing left for yourself.

You have to have rules, just like I do. Just like your loved one does. No drinking or drugs. A good diet. Exercise. The right amount of sleep – no staying out late at night partying with your friends.

You have to be a good supporter. It’s so very important to your loved one’s bipolar disorder, and to your own health,  motionally and physically.

You have to have rules, and you need to stick by them. So does your loved one. But they won’t stick by theirs if they don’t see you sticking by yours. You have to set a good example.

That’s what I teach in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

That’s just part of being a good supporter.

But if you don’t take care of yourself first, how are you going to be able to take care of your loved one?

You have to stick to the bipolar rules, or else.

And when you are in good health, emotionally and physically, you have to set boundaries and rules for your loved one.

You have to make sure they are sticking to their rules as well. Especially as far as taking their medications. And they need to stick to the rules of their treatment plan.

They have to stick to the bipolar rules, or else.

Because you both want them to recover. You both want them to become stable. And you both want them NOT to have bipolar episodes, right?

Well, the way to do that is to set bipolar rules, or else!

That’s just the way it is in life, isn’t it?

There are rules in life that you have to follow. The government sets rules. You can’t just do any old thing you want to do, or you’ll get in trouble – like running traffic lights, or breaking the law in some other way.

So you obey the law. You don’t break the rules.

So don’t break the bipolar rules, either.

You don’t want your children to break the rules you set down in the family, either. You didn’t break the rules your parents set down in the household when you were growing up, or you got in trouble, right?

So don’t break the bipolar rules, either.

You don’t break society’s rules. There are certain do’s and don’ts in society. And you obey them, don’t you?

So don’t break the bipolar rules, either.

Just don’t.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going? It’s the day after Labor Day in the US. If you celebrate it, I hope you had a great day.

I wanted to tell you something I told a friend of mine who is struggling with his business and this important lesson that relates to bipolar disorder. He told me things weren’t going that well.

He then told me about how about the economy was and all these natural disasters. He talked about high oil prices. Disease. Famine. Food shortages. He even mentioned it could be the end of the world.

What does he do?

He watches the news everyday. He watches all the negative news. And he subscribes to strange publications that only report BAD NEWS. Imagine that? It’s crazy.

The news is like a scam if you ask me.

If you think that drug companies are running scams to get people on drugs they don’t need to be and this is hurting society I think the news hurts MILLIONS of people.

It causes depression — Look at the news every day and you can’t help but to get depressed.

Seriously.

It misleads you — There’s tons of good news, but they never show it. There is virtually no good news ever reported. And when given two choices between something could be bad or good, the news always picks bad. Think about it. Oil prices are falling. But before they talked how oil would go so high that everyone would be out on the streets in total poverty. They ran story after story saying almost we are running out of oil in a week and doomed.

It’s one sided, dramatic to shock you.

It blows things up. The simplest thing is generally made to seem like it’s the end of the world. Look at the most recent hurricane. They totally hyped it BIG TIME.

They take the most extreme cases.

And they leave stuff out so it’s really doom and gloom.

How about how they DON’T show people on my list that have bipolar disorder that are super smart and are working on ways to turn a car engine into one that runs on water? That’s not dramatic enough for them.

Sorry to rant and rave but I mean all this. It makes me mad.

SO…

GET RID OF THE NEWS!

Stop reading the news Stop watching the news Stop listening to the news

AND…

Read and watch things that are POSITIVE Turn away from negative stuff Ignore people that talk doom and gloom. Say “Hey I have to run.” Make something up. Walk away.

If you are helping a loved one become stable, you have already seen enough bad news. You don’t need anymore do you?

Advanced strategies –

Take all the news channels on your TV and lock them so you can’t see them unless you put a code in. This is a neat trick my friend taught me. Some cable companies allow you to block channels for kids with a code. Like adult stuff.

You can do the same thing with news channels. Call your cable company and ask how to block channels. Don’t tell them it’s for the news or they will think you are crazy or try to talk you out of it.

I do this. If you look at my TV, ALL the news channels are blocked. ALL of them.I do follow the news but I only read the news. I am careful to skip the parts I feel are lies, and hype. I find papers like the Wall Street Journal have real news that I can use.

Subscribe to stuff that brings good news. There’s tons of it. Go to the book store and look around and you’ll find it.

And, believe it or not, if you look for it, there is actually a newspaper that is filled with only GOOD NEWS!

When are you are dealing with bipolar disorder you need to be as positive as possible. There’s already a lot of bad stuff with bipolar disorder. You don’t need to hear or see any more bad news.

If there is a disaster somewhere, you probably can’t help 99% of the time and you are working on preventing your own disaster with you or your loved one.

You probably think that I have lost it or I am out of my mind. I am not.

In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I teach that having the right positive attitude is CRITICAL when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder .

Well, it’s critical when you’re NOT the one with bipolar disorder, too. Even if you’re a supporter, it’s critical to have a positive attitude.

Hey one more thing. If you don’t believe me, how come whenever bipolar disorder is mentioned it’s about either a murder or a suicide.

Do you think that everything that someone does every day with bipolar disorder is connected to a murder or suicide? Of course not, but the news wants to shock you.

That’s what the news does – only report the negative stuff.

Think I am out of my mind?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope your day is going really, really well.

First Happy Labor Day to everyone who celebrates Labor Day.

Wikipedia writes that “Labor Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September. The holiday originated in 1882 as the Central Labor Union  (of New York City) sought to create “a day off for the working citizens” just in case you were out of the United States and wondering.

Like I said yesterday I was hiking. People were asking where and how far. I went to upstate New York and New Jersey.

The trail was super difficult. I mean really difficult. It was over 10 miles. I got lost so many times. There were people that I met in the middle of the woods totally lost. I couldn’t even help because I barely knew where I was going.

Some ran out of water. I did towards the end as well. NONE of us knew how hard and long it was going to be. It was amazing.

I actually fell and hurt my leg as well so I am limping today. I might have to go to the doctor tomorrow if it doesn’t get better. I am heading off to the gym because I have a rule that if I am going to skip the gym I have to at least go there and sit on on piece of equipment.

I am probably going to do an upper body machine today.

Oh one more thing. I met a person in the woods that was a scientist that said he had a friend that was a top researcher for bipolar and schizophrenia. I am going to be emailing him to try to setup an interview. Pretty interesting? Never know who you will meet huh?

Okay enough of the updates on me.

I am an outdoors person so I see out a lot of stuff in nature.

Yesterday I saw a bunch of roses while I was hiking.

Someone sent me an email about a rose and it’s a great lesson for bipolar disorder.

Take a look at this poem that someone sent me:

Life is like a rose.

In order to partake of its beauty You must also suffer the pain of Its thorns

————————————————————–

Now, that may be a good statement about life in general, but I’ll tell you what it has to do with bipolar disorder.

So let’s talk about what it says, and how it does relate to bipolar disorder.

We’d all like our loved one’s bipolar disorder to go along without a hitch.

We’d love it if they were medication complaint, stuck with their treatment plan, had no more episodes, always saw their doctors, therapists, etc., without complaining…

We’d love it if they would always take care of themselves (so we wouldn’t have to), stick to a good diet (and never cheat), exercise (and not get lazy), and sleep right (never staying up too late to watch those late movies or TV shows).

We’d love it if we had a stress-free life as a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder. Yes, we’d love those things.

But that’s not reality, is it?

The reality is like what the author wrote about the rose.

You have to take the bad with the good.

A rose is very beautiful. But it also has its thorns.

Just like bipolar disorder. It has its good days. But it also has its bad days too, doesn’t it?

In my courses/systems below, I don’t just talk about the good parts of bipolar disorder – I tell you how to deal with the bad things, too – about how to deal with episodes, and even how to deal with what happens after episodes:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

What a beautiful life it would be if we didn’thave to deal with bipolar disorder…

NOT TRUE!

We’d still have to deal with life itself.

And, like the poem, which was NOT about bipolar disorder, by the way, it was about LIFE…

No life is perfect. You’d still have to deal with many of the same problems you’re having to deal with that you are now with your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

So what I’m trying to say is…

Don’t feel sorry for yourself when times get bad, because they would get bad sometimes with or without having to deal with bipolar disorder in your life.

That’s just life itself.

Learn from the Lesson of the Rose.

Kind of interesting huh? I get a lot of great things sent to me because there is so many smart people on my list.

Many people incorrectly think my list is full of “crazy people.” I have several very large mailing lists and by far, the smartest people are on my bipolar list.

Which brings up another topic for another day which is how smart people with bipolar disorder really are.

Hey I have to run. I am heading off to a friend’s house today. Catch you tomorrow. If you are taking the day off, have a great one.

Oh, what did you think of that poem?

Oh, I am going to try to get some of my hiking photos posted for you to see.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope your day is going well.

I have to get going really quick today because I am going on a super long hike. More than 11 miles so it’s going to take a while today. Plus I have to drive almost 1.5 hours to get there.

Okay enough about me.

Today’s email isn’t about how much you know about bipolar disorder, or even how much you know about your loved one.

It’s about how much you know about yourself.

Let me ask you something:

If you were to rate yourself as a supporter on a scale from 1-10, what would your score be?

No, don’t compare yourself to other supporters, just rate yourself. And be honest!

WAIT!

Maybe you should score yourself on the following lists first.

Here’s a list of traits. Count how many you have, and score yourself:

1. Exhausted

2. Overwhelmed

3. Angry

4. Frustrated

5. Resentful

6. Lonely

7. Defeated

8. Discouraged

9. Hopeless

10. Helpless

Now score yourself. How did you rate?

Here’s another list of traits. See how you score on these:

1. Energetic

2. Enthusiastic

3. Positive

4. Optimistic

5. Forgiving

6. Proactive

7. Winner

8. Encouraged

9. Fulfilled

10. Hopeful

Now score yourself on these. How did you rate?

Considering both lists, now how would you rate yourself on a scale from 1-10, both personally and as a supporter?

One point to remember – these lists are for YOUR eyes only!

They are only to point out your own weaknesses and strengths.

These lists, and your scores on them, can show you where you are doing well, and where you might need improvement.

In my courses/systems below, I talk about the qualities that make up a good supporter:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

All of us should take a good, hard look at ourselves from time to time and “rate” ourselves on how we are doing as supporters (remember, I am one, too).

We always want to improve ourselves not just as supporters, but as people as well.

We want to check our attitudes, see if they are positive. We want to check our personal growth.

We want to check our thoughts and feelings, and make sure they are positive, optimistic, and encouraging for ourselves and our loved ones.

I hope you had a good score, and that you feel better about yourself.

Hey I have to run. Catch you tomorrow.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope this day is the best for you!

Unfortunately, I have a real sad story for you today, because it has a real lesson in it for you and anyone else you know who has bipolar disorder.

I was in the gym talking to a kid who told me that basically the girl next to him has a drug problem.

He told me he’s brought it up to her, and he had said, “Are you still taking those medications?”

She told him she was, and then defended what she was doing by the fact that her doctor had prescribed them.

Here’s what happened:

This girl had gone online and looked up depression. (She felt she had depression, that’s why she had gone online.)

So she went to her regular doctor and asked for an antidepressant.

And he gave it to her!

No real tests. No background talk. In fact, he only spent 5 minutes with her.

Basically, he let her diagnose herself, and prescribed what she told him she should be prescribed!

To me, that is a horror story!

Taking prescription drugs and abusing them is being just as much a drug addict as if you were buying street drugs and abusing  them.

And don’t just take my opinion on that. Ask any “regular” person who is addicted to pain killers. Or even antidepressants, if they are used the wrong way.

Especially someone who might have bipolar disorder. Because antidepressants only treat HALF the disorder. What about the MANIC part of bipolar disorder. Remember, it used to be called manic-depression, or manic-depressive disorder before it was called bipolar disorder?

This girl diagnosed herself and basically prescribed her own medication, and the doctor went along with it!

That’s why in my courses/systems below, I provide a complete doctor finding system.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Now, this won’t stop you/your loved one from diagnosing yourself and “prescribing” your own medication, but it will help you find a good doctor who will diagnose you in the correct way.

WARNING:

One of the biggest problems (and I talk about this in my courses/systems) is that you go to support groups and one person will say how they went on this “super” medication, and how EVERYONE should take this same medication because it worked so great for them, and it’ll work so great for everyone else, too.

WRONG! Just because a certain medication works great for someone else, doesn’t mean it will do the same thing for your loved one.

Every person with bipolar disorder is different, and just because one medication works great for one person doesn’t mean it’s going to work great for your loved one.

You need to be able to trust your doctor and do what they say, knowing that they have your loved one’s best interests at heart. They know your loved one’s medications, and what works for them.

The main thing is that your loved one was properly diagnosed and properly prescribed.

Take warning from the story of the girl in the gym.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.