Hi,
How’s it going?
Yesterday I talked about the news and how it can be depressing when it comes to bipolar disorder.
MANY people asked if I really don’t watch it. I seriously don’t. I read the news because I can target and avoid what I call the hype and nonsense.
Okay, so on to today’s topic. I was talking to my friend the other day about how I maintain such a low body fat.
It’s because I set up rules for myself. There’s things I will do and other things I will not do. I do not drink. I don’t eat junk every day. I work out in an organized fashion and I work out often.
I have rules that I follow. These rules lead to my objectives. I have goals.
Bipolar supporters have to do the same things. you have to set goals. You have to have objectives. You have to have rules that you follow, or else!
Or else what? Or else you will stress out. Or else you will burn out. Or else you will have no energy. Or else you will give so much to your loved one that there will be nothing left for yourself.
You have to have rules, just like I do. Just like your loved one does. No drinking or drugs. A good diet. Exercise. The right amount of sleep – no staying out late at night partying with your friends.
You have to be a good supporter. It’s so very important to your loved one’s bipolar disorder, and to your own health, motionally and physically.
You have to have rules, and you need to stick by them. So does your loved one. But they won’t stick by theirs if they don’t see you sticking by yours. You have to set a good example.
That’s what I teach in my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
That’s just part of being a good supporter.
But if you don’t take care of yourself first, how are you going to be able to take care of your loved one?
You have to stick to the bipolar rules, or else.
And when you are in good health, emotionally and physically, you have to set boundaries and rules for your loved one.
You have to make sure they are sticking to their rules as well. Especially as far as taking their medications. And they need to stick to the rules of their treatment plan.
They have to stick to the bipolar rules, or else.
Because you both want them to recover. You both want them to become stable. And you both want them NOT to have bipolar episodes, right?
Well, the way to do that is to set bipolar rules, or else!
That’s just the way it is in life, isn’t it?
There are rules in life that you have to follow. The government sets rules. You can’t just do any old thing you want to do, or you’ll get in trouble – like running traffic lights, or breaking the law in some other way.
So you obey the law. You don’t break the rules.
So don’t break the bipolar rules, either.
You don’t want your children to break the rules you set down in the family, either. You didn’t break the rules your parents set down in the household when you were growing up, or you got in trouble, right?
So don’t break the bipolar rules, either.
You don’t break society’s rules. There are certain do’s and don’ts in society. And you obey them, don’t you?
So don’t break the bipolar rules, either.
Just don’t.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below.
can i wrigh to this site in Spanish or i have to do in english
Thanks very much
Ricardo.
I am a typical codependent (in recovery and trying to leave it behind me) and i was talking about “non-negotiables” with my bi-polar, recovering addict husband. I have 3 non-negotiables: no drinking/drugging, no affairs, must have continuous treatment plan with your doctor and stay on your meds. Last night he tried to tell me that he didn’t need meds anymore b/c he wasn’t using drugs or alcohol to “self-medicate” and he could manage bi-polar (if that even is what is wrong with him – his words, not mine). He has friends backing him up on this. We have been knee deep in the middle of an episode for over a month now. He has attempted suicide, had angry outbursts, cries all of the time, and says very hurtful things to me and our children. When I mention a plan or rules, he bucks and tries to convince me why they don’t apply to him.
Now what??
Dave; Are you familiar with “peer specialists” or “psychiatric rebilitation practitioners”? This profession is growing quite rapidly in most states. I would like to talk with you about this interesting subject. Regards; Jim Blaha jjbgeneva@aol.com 850-244-8455
Dave:I agree with you 100% in order to help anyone you must be in good health yourself.set rules and objectives.I just do not know how to deal with my spouse who is always grabbing me in a sexual manner which hurts me and although I tell him not to do it he still does only harder.I have goals and rules that I must live by as I have diabetes and have certain foods that i can and cannot eat.I am also working in the restaurant industry as a cook dealing with people on a daily basis so having someone who is bipolar is a full time challenge.I find myself at times getting frustrated with my spouce for not helping around the house and not helping with the chores.He tends to only concentrate on things that interest him only.Can you please help out with information?Thanks
David,
At first I was a skeptic of your work, some other jerk trying to sell a book. After a week and I want to tell you that I think what you are doing is incredible. I have been dealing with my disorder for over 25 years most of that in denial. I have been seeing one agency for over two years and your website is the first real help I have had. God less you and keep up the good work.
I HAVE EXCELLENT HEALTH
Hey! A freind was talking to me about this excact subject. My son is bipolar and we have had a rollercoaster of a summer. She said I need to take better care of myself so that I would be able to give more to him. She is right but I am exausted every since he went back to scool I want to sleep. She said I need to start going to the jym again and make it a rule that I never break because I would feel better. I agree with her I just need to get up and go its like my body is saying he is safe at school and you can finally rest. But then I am still not getting anything done. so to read this its like confermation to something i already know. Just needed to be reminded by some friends. Thanks and God Bless
Hi Dave.
When it comes to societies rules. It works like a mirror. Like for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction or a twin paradox.
Hi,
I have a question??? I hope you can help me.
My boyfriend just find out he is has bipolar so he is on medication and he is only 20 years old.
I been trying very hard to understanding and also you help me a lot. Is been already like 2 months
and now I feel like I need a therapist because is been dragging me down this mood swing of him.
One day is very happy and lovely guy and next day he doesn’t want me around.
I don’t know what to do because I’m young I’m 27 years old and it feel like is way to much for me to handle.
He doesn’t have anyone here in Los Angeles. His Family they all live in Michigan. I feel like I’m his punching bag.
I’m a very patient person but I’m getting more hurt than any satisfaction out of this. I think i should be very happy and deserve to
be happy.
I gone through allot of my life. I lost my father when I was 4 years old then my mother when I was 18 years old.
So I had to take a big responsibility of taking care of my 13 year old sister. I was the Father, Mother at young age.
Then deal with the fact that I’m gay and had hide it for so long and deal with me accepting my self then trying tell my sister
about it. My point is that I had gone through allot and I think I deserve to be happy.
I love him allot but I don’t know what to do.
Please, I hope you can suggest something about what I should do.
thank you so much for you time.
What does the NYC psychologist mean to say ‘to let the chips fall where they may?” Does that mean to let it be, know that I cannot win and accept things as they are? Is there any moralism to that statement stated to me by this psychologist? Do you think I should take his direction and recommendation? Please let me know what you all think because I am still extremely worried and confused about what is happening to me. Thanks.
To TRIED THEM ALL: I think what the psychologist meant by “let the chips fall where they may,” is that, once you’ve tried everything, to no avail, let the BAD out of your life, and try to think POSITIVELY of where you WANT to be.
Mental health professionals are NOT gods; sometimes they say things that to us, don’t make a whole lot of sense. Try to take what this psychologist says with a “grain of salt,” and TRY to get better. Follow your treatment plan, take your meds, and just do the best you possibly can.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.
Cheri,
The golden rule when it comes to dealing with bipolar is “To Take our Medication”. If we break that rule, we are in for episodes. Dave has an information package that deals with how to reach someone who is resistive to treatment. There are things you can do. I don’t know where to get that package, I did know, but I lost the link. I will try to see if I can find it and post it here later.
The most important rule for everyone with bipolar is take your medication! If you break that rule, you and your loved ones will suffer. For some reason bipolar has a way of convincing us that there is nothing wrong with us when there is. We need medication like we need air, or food, or water. It is just that critical. We can die if we don’t take our medication, so how important is that? Like air, food or water, it is that essential to our survival.
If your loved one stops taking their medication do what every you can to get them back on it. I will try to find the link to the info package on helping those with bipolar who are resistive to treatment and post it here tomorrow or later tonight.
Sincerely,
Bob
Hi Cheri,
This is one of the links, I will try to find more tomorrow…
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/register/?utm_source=bipolarcentral&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=sidebar
Sincerely,
Bob
To TRIED THEM ALL:
I don’t think I would take that psych doc’s babble to heart. Using euphemisms like “let the chips fall where they may”…is not helpful. Is that supposed to be a riddle for you to figure out? I will try to look on the positive side and say that they meant well, but were just not clear enough in that particular piece of advice. It sounds like something a friend might say, not a doctor.
I really am rooting for you and have been from the beginning. I have followed your story all along. And thank God you are still alive! I look forward to hearing from you again and again and again…get the idea?
All the best God bless
Dear Tried them all:
I don’t live in the U.S. I’m in Toronto Canada. But if you want to talk anytime, I would be more than happy to get back to you. I’m in school right now, I had to leave my job after 20 years because it got outsourced to India. I’m 51 years old, bipolar. I’m currenty taking Social Work at a college in Toronto. Your story really got to me and I only wish there was something I could do to help you feel better. Anyway, you can email me at doglover3@rogers.com OK
Dear David,
I am a 35 year old male of mixed decent from Cape Town, South Africa. I have been living with BMD for about 20 years.
I am experiencing my worst relapse in just over two years. I do have a few friends, but I guess you know how it is when one hits a low…
What is making matters worse is that I am unemployed and don’t have a place to stay. I am stayin with a friend for a while and she does not understand the disorder at all.
I wish I could afford the book. Would you be so kind as to donate a copy for me, please? Or is there anyone who could donate me a copy please?
Godfrey
811 Nick Kearns Avenue
Bellville South 7530
South Africa
Hello, well That was a great one. And my daughter will get to read that one as well. I am her supporter. Its been a rough life for both of us. She has the disorder. I have been trying to find out what was going on with her since she has been 3 years old. Now she is 14. We finally got her meds almost dialed in. I have gotten to the point of burn out. Before a friend of mine told me the meds he was on and how it helped him. Yes I seem to be around many who have the disorder. I have been trying for years. All the docs wanted to say she was adhd. and had oopisitional defiance disorder. No my lil girl is good when she wants to be. Believe me. She has it tough. And its been even harder when she goes to a school that doesnt understand or support her as well. The meds she takes is old school. Lithium. But she is also on trileptal. As well as an antihistamine. Benadril. Yeah it works. For her. I dont know about others but this really works for her. She has been on these for about the past 6 months and its worked wonders. She is finally getting to the point of being able to hug me again. And omg is that hard. For her. I have missed my daughters hugs for so many years. And when she did the first time in so long I was crying on her shoulder. that meant more to me than anything. David thank you sooo much for the newsletters and articles has helped alot. And thank god for the friends I have. Those that have the disorder.Otherwise I wouldnt be able to understand it as much as I do now.
DEARMR.DAVID.,
I THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR INFORMATION SENT TO ME
BY E-MAIL REGARDING BEPOLER DISORDER I HAVE STUIDED IT NEARLY ALL AND I WAS PATIENT TO READ SUCH THESE INFORMATIONS ESPECIALLY YOUR MOTHER ILLNESS.
IAM PERSONALLY DO NOT SUFFER FROM THIS DESEASE
NOR ANY ONE FROM MY FAMILY.
I WAS SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSON SINCE 40 YEARS
IT WAS ALONG TIME I WAS SUFFERING PAIN CHANGE OF
MOOD CHEST PAIN HEADACE AND I WAS TREATING WITH
DOCTORES AND NEARY TRIED ALL KIND OF MEDICNES
FOR DEPRESSION. AFTER ALONG TIME I FEEL VERY GOOD
NOW I JUST TAKE ONE TABLET OF PAROXITINE 25MG
AND NO MORE. DEPRESSION ALWAYS LEED TO DESEASE
IN DIGEST . BECAME DIABET. HEART DISEASE.MANY THIS
I HAVE ALL THESE THINGS . BUT IAM TAKING MY MEDICINES
AND HAVE A GOOD DIET WITH WALKING EVEY DAY BETWEEN 30 TO 60 MINUTES, AND FEEL GOOD.
THANK VERY MUCH FOR YOUR ADVISE THROUGH YOUR
NEWS PAPER SEND TO ME DULY.
YOU ARE A GOOD MAN WHO ABLE TO NOW ALL THESE
MEDICAL INFORMATION WHILE YOU ARE NOT A DOCTOR.
IAM FOLLWING ALL WEBSITES WITH MEDICAL IN FORMATION.
I HOP TO YOU AGOOD LIFE AND HAPPYALL DAYS/.
WITH MY BEST COMPLIMENTS .
YOUR FRIEND. ABDEL GHAFFAR MALAK
I am bipolar; in total acceptance of the diagnosis; and am grateful for the diagnosis that finally explains me to myself! My medications, after the usual period of changes and adjustments, has given me the chance to be a much more normal person and an extremely happy one! These are the best days of my life so far!
Thank you, David, for the helpful information you provide and for the love and courage it has taken for you to be a caregiver to a fellow sufferer. Who says angels don’t exist?!