Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

Do you ever have a bad day? I mean, I know everyone has a bad day every once in a while. But I mean, one of those days when nothing seems to go right.

I had one of those the other day. I had placed an order for CDs, and the printer printed the wrong date on them. And they had to go out to our customers that way! Sheesh! Then I had to print an apology to every one of them for the printer printing them with the wrong date.

Then my computer got a glitch in it and my emails started going haywire. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. That really frustrated me, because I’m usually pretty good with computers. But I just couldn’t figure this thing out. It took me hours! I finally got it right, but I was so frustrated by then that I thought I would tear my hair all out!

Then I needed to talk to someone on my team and she was nowhere to be found. My fault – she had told me she would be unavailable, but I was so busy I had forgotten. Still, I was flustered that I wasn’t able to contact her when I needed her, because I couldn’t get the answer I needed when I needed it! Ahhhh!

Then my car started making funny noises. You know how that can be. That can mean anything.

Then just before I got so frustrated I wanted to kick the darn thing, the noise disappeared as mysteriously as it had come! Now I’m just puzzled, because I wonder what it could have been!

And that’s almost as frustrating as if it had never gone away!

So many things went wrong in that one day that I wished I had never woke up that day. I actually wanted to go to sleep and start the day over again!

That’s the kind of day I’m talking about. You ever have one of those kind of days? The kind you wish you could start over?

I bet you’re wondering what any of this has to do with bipolar disorder, right?

Well, in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, there is something called “mindfulness.” Mindfulness is about “being in the moment.” It has to do with dealing with things the way they are instead of the way you wish they could be.

Like the kind of day I was talking about. There were many times I wished I could change the circumstances I was facing (like with the computer). But I had to accept things the way they were. I couldn’t do anything about them.

Many times, as a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, you will face the same thing. There may be times that you will want to not only change the situation, but even want to change your loved one, but you can’t. That’s when you practice mindfulness.

You just need to accept things the way they are instead of the way you would like for them to be.

If you practice this principle long enough, you will find that you will have more peace in your life.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I was just thinking earlier today about a conversation I had with a friend a while back. This friend hates fireworks, apparently. So the Fourth of July is not exactly his favorite holiday. There was a third person who was in the conversation, and she accused him of not being patriotic.

He calmly replied, saying that he disliked fireworks because of the pollution, the danger, and the noise. But, he continued, he loved his country and was proud to be an American. I thought it brought up a good point. You CAN be patriotic without liking fireworks.

You know what else? You CAN be compliant with your medications without liking the fact that you have to take them. Liking them and taking them are two entirely different things. Just like admiring fireworks and admiring the country are two entirely different things.

It also depends partially on why you don’t like them. If you don’t like them because they are not working correctly, or because of some awful side effect they give you, then you should talk to your psychiatrist and find out what needs to be changed.

But, if you don’t like them for the same reason that you might not like having to take any other pill for the rest of your life, then you can work your way through the dislike. I’m sure that there are many people who have insulin dependent diabetes who do not like taking their insulin. But many of them could die if they didn’t take it.

Bipolar disorder is just as serious: Many people with bipolar disorder die from suicide when they are depressed. Many people with bipolar disorder ruin their lives and their health when they are not compliant with their medications. As much as we might not like to admit to it, medications are a necessary part of life.

And that doesn’t make you a “pill popper.” Pill poppers are people who like to take medications for anything that they can get away with. In your situation, you are someone who recognizes a need to take very specific medications for a medical problem.

That’s right, I said medical. Science is finding out more and more about mental illnesses, and they are, in fact, brain disorders. Which means it’s not “all in your mind.” It’s also in your brain. LOL. No, but seriously.

If you had a serious medical problem that you had to take medications for to avoid very serious problems, wouldn’t you take it? Well, you do have a serious medical problem that you have to take medications for. It’s called bipolar disorder.

And you know what else? It’s okay to not like taking them! Nobody said you had to enjoy swallowing pills once a day, or that you have to like the concept of it. But, like many other things in life, we sometimes have to do things that we don’t like to do.

What ways can you encourage yourself to take your medications despite a strong dislike for them? What ways can you remind yourself that they are, in fact, necessary?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews491/

Here are the news headlines:

Memoir Traces Lifelong, Undetected Bipolar Disorder
DO> Sounds like a good memoir.

Life Expectancy in Mental Illness
DO> Very interesting, don’t you think?

East Texas Mental Health Services Face Possible Massive Budget Cuts
DO> This is really sad, do you think this is right?

Longmont Man Suspected of Setting Fire at Parents’ Home
DO> This is what happens when someone isn’t in treatment

Have You Heard About Bipolar Disorder?
DO> Okay article but you should take a look

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews491/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I heard a concept a long time ago that has stuck with me. It happens to be based in a certain spirituality, but I don’t think that anyone has to be of that spirituality to understand or use this concept. Maybe you’ve heard of it. It’s commonly called “The Serenity Prayer.” I’ll edit it a little bit so that it doesn’t include the spiritual base.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” If you really think about it, this is a good concept for everyone.

See, there are things in everyone’s life that we’d like to change, but we can’t. There are also things that we can change (whether we’d like to or not.) 😛 An important first step is to learn the difference between these two types of situations. That way we won’t waste our time trying to change things when it’s simply not going to work. Also, we can focus on the things that we can make an impact on in our lives. But first we have to know the difference.

One of the simplest differences is a situation that is out of our control and our personal reactions to it. The most relevant example would be that you can’t control if you or your loved one has bipolar disorder or not. But you can control how you react to it, what choices you make despite it, and how you plan for and against it. You can control how it affects your life.

There isn’t a magic pill that a person can take to wish it away, and plain and simple wishing won’t help either. But we can “make the most of what we’ve got.”

I’ve heard a saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Well, without sugar and water, the lemonade isn’t going to taste very good. LOL. So maybe you should make a point in investing in the sugars and waters of life. That is to say, maybe you should make a point in investing in the things, skills, and people that will make life easier to manage, even despite bipolar disorder.

Another example of things we cannot change is our past choices. But the things we can change is whether we choose to learn from those choices and make better ones today and tomorrow. We cannot change the past, but we can always learn from it. After all, where we are going is more important than where we have been.

Another example: we cannot change who our family is, but we can change how we react to them, whether we choose to be around them, and who our friends are. If your family is loving and supportive, then not only should you be “hanging around” them, but you should also be doing anything you can to make life easier for them, so that they can do the same for you in return.

If, on the other hand, your family does more to bring you down and make life harder on you, then it might be better to avoid going to family functions and other meetings with them. You have to use your better judgment in matters like that. If you cannot decide on your own, then ask a supporter or therapist to help you analyze the situation and come up with a positive solution.

There are a lot of situations in life, especially in life with bipolar disorder, that cannot be controlled. But there is always at least one aspect of the situation that we can control and put our input into. If nothing else, how we choose to act and react is our choice to make. Many times, there are other things that we can change as well.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” May this be true in your life.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I just met a woman who was very embarrassed about where she lived. You see, she lived in a shelter for battered women. But it took her a long time to admit to it in our conversation. I’m not entirely sure why she was embarrassed.

See, she’s in a better place then she was in before. At least where she’s at, she’s safe. That’s better than it was before. So at least she’s moving up. It may take some time and effort to get to the next step upwards, but that’s part of life. At least she’s taken the first step that she needed to take. And at least she’s making an effort that she never felt strong enough to make before.

I’ve met a lot of people who have bipolar disorder who were embarrassed about their treatment. Some of them were embarrassed about having to take their medications, or about being hospitalized during a crisis. Others are embarrassed about having to go to therapy, or about just having the disorder to begin with.

But there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Especially when it comes to treatment. It should be something that makes a person proud. “I’ve got a problem that I can’t get rid of, but at least I’m getting the help I need to make it manageable.” If everyone looked at it like that, then there would be no need to be embarrassed.

Now, of course, there is stigma to take into consideration. Even if people with bipolar disorder can learn to be proud of their treatments, that doesn’t necessarily mean that others will understand. But with education, hopefully that will get better with time.

Here’s an analogy for you: Have you ever heard of rivers that have stepping stones going across them. These rivers are usually smaller rivers, but they would still be unmanageable to get across without these stones, or without a bridge of any kind.

But much of the time, because they are in the places that they are in, there are no bridges available to make. So in order to get across, you use these stepping stones. Sometimes this can still be hard, and maybe even dangerous. If the rocks are unstable, you could tip over and fall into the river. But if you take it slow, and only focus on the next stepping stone that’s ahead of you, then you can make it across safely.

Now, what does this analogy mean to people who have bipolar disorder? It means that as long as we are moving up in life, and focusing on one step at a time, that there is nothing wrong with where we are at.

After all, there are reasons for everything. Some people believe that there is a spiritual reason for everything. But even if you don’t think that, maybe you can appreciate this concept: We can MAKE a reason for everything. We can choose to learn from every situation that we find ourselves in, and to use what we’ve learned to move forward in life. We might even be able to help others with what we learned. That’s what I try to do.

It’s all about figuring out what the next step is, and moving forward. As long as we are constantly moving forward, then there is no reason to be embarrassed about doing the best that we can.

What are your thoughts on that?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

A friend told me something interesting the other day. At first it didn’t make sense. I had to ask him to explain what he meant. But once he explained, it really made sense to me. And I think it’s something that most of us could use in life.

This is what he told me: “We should help each other with our burdens, but we all carry our own by ourselves.” Like I said, at first it seems contradictory. But after a while, when you stop to think about it, it makes sense.

Help with the things that are hard in life is always a good thing. But at the same time, we all need to take responsibility for our own lives.

For someone with bipolar disorder, this is what this means: If you can get help from a supporter or a service, that is great. If you can help someone else out with what you learned, that is also great. But when it comes down to it, you are the only one who is responsible for your own recovery.

If you are a supporter, this is what this means to you: You can help your loved one out with their bipolar disorder in any way you can, and that’s great. Occasionally, they might even help you out with problems that you have, and that’s great, too.

But when it comes down to it, there are times when you have to step back and let them make their own decisions about their recovery. After all, it is their recovery, not yours. I know, sometimes it can be hard to remember that. Trust me, I know.

And there is nothing wrong with wanting to help out in any way possible. There isn’t even anything wrong with wanting to fix it all. That is, as long as you realize that you can’t just “fix it.” As long as you realize that you can’t be the only one putting effort into their recovery.

If they don’t want to recover, then anything you do will be pointless, no matter how hard you try. If they want to fix a few things, but they don’t want to go through the effort of working on everything, then you will only be able to help them in the areas that they are willing to work on.

If, on the other hand, they are willing to work on everything as long as it is in a manageable form, then you can help them along with the process. A good place to start is by helping them keep their recovery plan reasonable and manageable.

Help them to break up larger goals into smaller steps. Help them realize that they don’t have to work on everything all at once. You may even need to remind them that they are not going to recover overnight, no matter how hard they try. In fact, if they are trying that hard to recover that quickly, then you may need to question whether they are in a manic stage or not.

Taking on responsibility for ourselves can be a challenging thing. Sometimes we feel like it would be so much easier if it would just go away, or if someone else could deal with it for us. While those thoughts are nice, we need to remember that they are just thoughts, and that reality doesn’t actually work that way.

Accept the help you get; there is nothing wrong with getting help. Don’t be afraid to help others to the best of your ability. But in the end, take responsibility for yourself. What are your thoughts on this?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope you’re doing well today.

You know I have a goddaughter, right? I know, because I talk about her all the time, right? Well, she’s two-and-a-half years old now. And cute as a button (I have to say that, she’s my goddaughter!) LOL Well, she has this dog. I don’t know if every little two-and-a-half year old little girl has a dog, but she does.

You would think it would be like a poodle, or another “girlie” type dog. But noooo… My goddaughter has to have a bulldog! I figure most little girls just brush their dog’s hair, pet them, try to dress them up, whatever, right? Try dressing up a bulldog!

Well, her favorite thing is chasing this dog around and trying to grab its tail. That’s all she wants to do with it is grab its tail and pull it! Well, needless to say, this doesn’t go over too well with the dog!

It reminds me of people. Nobody likes their “tail being pulled.” In other words, nobody likes being told what to do. Especially when it comes to bipolar disorder.

I know you care about your loved one or you wouldn’t be their supporter. And you want them to get better. Of course you do. Sometimes to the point of wanting to tell them what to do. For some people, that’s just natural. But it can lead to problems in the relationship. Just like with my goddaughter and her dog. Nobody likes being told what to do.

You’ve heard the expression, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.” Well, I heard it put this way: “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. But you can make their food salty enough so that they get mighty thirsty!” In other words, instead of trying to make your loved one do something…Try to get them to WANT to do it for

themselves. Or, to go even further… Let them think it’s THEIR idea!

For example, think about the leading the horse to water by making the food salty idea.

If you’ve been having problems getting your loved one to go to see their doctor or psychiatrist… What about this idea? The next time they have to go, suggest that you go together, so that afterwards you can go out to eat at their favorite restaurant! It doesn’t take the sting out of going to the appointment, but it sure makes the idea more appealing, doesn’t it?

You can do the same thing with taking their medication. If you’ve been having a hard time getting your loved one to take their medication…Try suggesting that if they take their medication as prescribed, regularly, for a whole week, (and can prove it to you), you’ll take them out shopping and they can buy a special something they’ve been wanting, or whatever they want.

They may not want to take their medication, but they may be willing to do it for that special shopping trip!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

If you have the loved one with bipolar disorder, I have a question for you:

“What’s the secret to helping your loved one end problems with Bipolar Disorder in the next 30 days?

I think you will be surprised when you find out.

For more information, visit this website:
http://www.bipolardisorderdvd.com/coaching2/

Thanks and have a great day.

Dave

Hi,

I wanted to send this out before I took off for the library to do some research.

Yesterday I sent out an email about my new guide:

“Bipolar Disorder–The REAL Silent Killer”

located at:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/specialoffer/bipolarsilentkiller/

I have had a lot of people write me one universal question:

“Does Bipolar Disorder Really Kill?”

It’s odd that I have gotten this question because that’s the nature of the entire report and interview that I have.

Other people have written me and basically asked why I write about such alarming stuff.

The reason why is, someone has to.

If you notice what I have been doing, I have been telling you things that nobody else either knows to tell or wants to tell.

I have no idea why people don’t reveal this stuff.

When I say people I mean doctors, therapists, drug companies, government people, etc.

It’s amazing to me. Coming from a business background where information is demanded and gotten, in mental health it’s sadly not. In business if people don’t get important information they go ballistic. In mental health it’s like okay to not reveal important information.

You hear, “wow John when into an episode because well his doctor didn’t tell him this that and the other thing. It wasn’t even his fault, if he only knew….”

People say, “wow that’s too bad. Oh well. Better luck next time for John.”

Then it’s accepted. If you read my blog you hear stories of people getting totally bad and wrong information and it’s okay.

OR you hear thousands of people say that I am the first person to tell them this, that and the other thing when what I am telling is the basics in my mind.

The most important concepts and ideas are like hidden in mental health. It’s hard to believe.

If you spoke to my mom, she would tell you that  the things she learned from me, she never learned after 30 years of having bipolar disorder and like 10 doctors.

I just don’t understand.

I am determined to get important and critical information out to the world even if it’s “shocking” or “alarming”.

Somebody has to do it.

If you want more information on the report, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/specialoffer/bipolarsilentkiller/

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews490/

Here are the news headlines:

Housing Services Helping People Overcome Problems
DO> Wow, what do you think of this?

Recognizing The Signs Of Depression In Your Teen
DO> This is a great article.

Pfizer Cancels Late Stage Drug Trial
DO> Hmmm. Interesting.

Substance Abuse And Switch From Depression To Mania In Bipolar Disorder
DO> Great article, take a look.

Program For Kids With Mental Illness Low On Cash
DO> Sounds like a great program.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews490/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave