Hi,
How’s it going?
I hope you are doing well.
Well yesterday I went on a hike and it was very difficult. I actually have pictures but for some reason I can’t get them on to my computer to post.
I am going to work on it. As soon as I have them, I will post them for everyone to see.
Anyway, yesterday I got into a big argument with someone about bipolar disorder.
This person has the disorder. Notice I said the person HAS bipolar NOT the person is bipolar. There’s a big difference don’t you think?
Anyway, the person said to me, “I suffer from bipolar disorder.” Then a few minutes later he referred to himself as a “bipolar suffer.” I said to him, he should strongly consider NOT saying these types of things.
He said “saying what?” I said, things like: I am a bipolar sufferer. I suffer from bipolar disorder .I am bipolar disorder
I told him, “statements like that.” He said, “no really I do have bipolar disorder.” I said “I understand that but when you say these types of statements, I strongly believe you make your situation worse.”
I went on to ask him, “why do you think you suffer from bipolar disorder? I said to him, “I know many people who have bipolar disorder that use it as an asset and they don’t suffer.”
He then thought about it and got really mad and went on and on about how bipolar disorder had destroyed his life. I reminded him that now he is stable and doing okay, not great but okay. He really doesn’t apply himself all that much so he is doing okay.
I said to him, “I think your negative affirmations are hindering your success. You keep telling yourself a 1000 times a day that you suffer from bipolar disorder. Suffering equals lack of success and misery. So I really think your brain will work to make sure that you really indeed do suffer to some extent.” He started getting mad and saying that’s not true and that I don’t understand bipolar disorder. That’s what anyone with bipolar disorder says to me when I don’t agree with them. I do understand bipolar disorder and I do understand positive and negative affirmations.
Many people with bipolar disorder I find say NEGATIVE affirmations over and over again. The affirmations or statements wind up being a self fulfilling prophecy.
Supporters do this as well. If you are a bipolar supporter and keep saying:
My loved one is never better My loved one is always sick Bipolar disorder is always going to destroy our family Bipolar disorder is a nightmare and you can’t manage it Doctors and therapists are all crooks Etc.
You get the idea. These are statements that my family use to say all the time. We got what we asked for so to speak. The person that I know who I got into the argument as been getting what he has been asking and saying for several years.
Do you agree?
In my courses/systems below, I go in great length things to and not to say. This is CRITICAL.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
Now you might be thinking, “Dave it’s easy for you to say. Your mom is now stable so you don’t have any problems.” Let me tell you this, first, one of the reasons my mom is stable is because my mom changed her attitude about bipolar disorder from “I can’t manage it and I won’t be successful” to “I can manage it and be successful.”
Most people in the family (except my brother), now have a better attitude towards bipolar disorder. My dad still finds it hard to believe that I really do have many people that work for me that have bipolar disorder and they do tremendously well. Most people that I tell this to don’t believe me either.
One other thing. If you find yourself not knowing any successful people; if you don’t ever hear any success stories; if you find it really hard to believe that either you or your loved one can be successful with bipolar disorder, make sure you go thought my courses/systems because there are MANY interviews that will change your attitude. I guarantee it. You will learn a ton.
I am 100% against having a bad attitude. Many people in society do. They say things over and over again they actually don’t want to happen. When they do this over a long period of time, what they say starts becoming reality.
After trying to explain this to a person with bipolar disorder, he wound up getting mad and not wanting to talk about it.
Do you agree or disagree with this concept that I am telling you about?
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Dave,
I agree 100% and I have proven this very concept in my own family! This really has nothing to do with BP but my daughter had a huge problem passing her spelling tests when in grade school. She kept saying over & over “I can’t do it”!! I would have her (not willingly) write them down multiple times and then we would go over them. If there were any mistakes, I would have her write them again. I told her the same thing you are saying. If you keep telling yourself you can’t, then you won’t! You need to keep telling yourself you can…over & over again and you will find out that you can do whatever it is you thought you couldn’t! My daughter started bringing home 100% correct spelling tests, so this proved your concept!
Have a great day!
I do agree with your positive approach, I have a sister who has bipolar and she is very positive and functions well. Has a full time job, two children, husband…has a normal life. I too have had a resent illness, breast cancer. A positive approach has gotten me through. You can’t let it get into your head. It’s an illness, you do what you have to do to get better, and stay well.
YES I THING BEING NEGATIVE TOWARDS ANY ILLNESS IS NOT A GOOD THING, YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE A POSTIVE OUTLOOK ON THINGS. I AM NOT BIPOLAR. AT LEAST I DONT THINK I AM , HOW DO YOU REALLY KNOW IF SOMEONE IS?DOES IT HAPPEN AT BIRTH? what are the symptonsof being bopolar. please help me underdtand this, thanks and have a great day , carolyn
Dave, I don’t think you are wrong! I do think that so many of us want someone to affirm that the challenges are great and that when we are dealing with trouble, it doesn’t seem fair.
My experience is to affirm that the person has suffered and then help reframe the present into a more positive attitude. Sometimes, you just need to say “I get that” and then see if you can offer guidance. Perhaps you were just too blunt with this person. I also am aware that it takes patience and skill – I have found myself quite irritated with people who say, change your thinking – in a way that seems to imply that I have more power than I actually do. I can’t just think it or wish it away!
Right on Dave, People speak their world into existance. You may get this over and over but the Bible says. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”. Spaced repititions are very evffective. Never stop dreaming!
Yes. I agree. A positive attitude is very important with any kind of illness.
i agree in positive affirmations so much that i actually believe the positive energies can help a person in many things in his life..not only in regard to bipolar or other disorders. I believe that positive affirmations produce positive energies which are powerful tools. I believe thinking in a positive way can be helpful in many situations we all encounter.
Dave,
Thank you so much for your valuable insight about being POSITIVE. My husband is bipolar (I think a rapid cycler) and has never been on treatment since I’ve known him. He wasn’t dishonest about having the illness before we married…I just didn’t realize what he called a “chemical imbalance” and “rages” was in actuality bipolar. At times I have thought “well shame on me for not researching that before getting married…just some honesty. But in truth I love my husband am very committed to our marriage and relationship. I had FINALLY convinced my husband to get some help via discussing US getting some marital help for some of his addictive behaviors. In doing that I was actually hoping that the counselor would recognize the bipolar and help out. It didn’t work out that way but live and learn, not all doctors and counselors are created equal. He was put on Ritalyn and I was quite upset about that…I was prepared for his already severe and lengthy mania to get really bad. He ended up going off of the Ritalyn after only 2 months and only saw the doctor one more time after that. Now 2 months later here we are…he got quite violent with me and attempted to punch me in the face. He swears that he did not try to punch me in the face but he did…he hit my arm instead. I went into survival mode and calmly talked him into letting me past him (he was blocking the doorway of my office not letting me leave, so that I could get out of the room. I immediately called 911 and explained that he was suffering from untreated bipolar. At this point I assumed the police would come out while in turn call an ambulance taking my husband away in a white jacket to a hospital. NOT what happened. He went to jail on domestic violence. He was not supposed to have any contact with me. For the most part we have abided by the law in that regard. However, I know enough about bipolar to know that immediately after mania comes deep depression. I took his calls even though he was crossing boundaries AGAIN (his biggest problem is boundaries) just to reassure him that I knew he was sorry but explained the boundary issues. After several days of talking and listening to him come to realize his situation he has once again agreed he needs to try Lithium or something. He had apparently tried Depacote years ago and explained that he didn’t like feeling any emotions at all. I should explain that the reason he quit seeing the counselor and doctor and quit the Ritalyn and further investigation for drug therapy was to become a professional pilot. The counselor, I feel, misguided him into thinking he could be on medication and still fly. That was not true. He went into a mania just hearing that he couldn’t continue his training being on the Ritalyn. In fact he needed to be off of it for 6 months before continuing. In the meantime he crashed and totaled a twin engine plane while I was out of town and is not currently flying. Now after that lengthy story…my point to my husband yesterday was this… He was constantly accusing me of keeping him from his dream, saying that I was not supporting him etc. When in fact I was thinking that it was selfish that I had to put up with a jerk that verbally abused me most of the time and yet wanted him to achieve this dream even though it would mean, for now, I had to endure this trial. It is obvious to me that he doesn’t like the “label” of bipolar but I use it all of the time right now because it helps him get out of denial. He keeps trying to convince me that I am the reason he is this way…so I calmly explained each time he said something negative how I would have viewed the same thing and would have worded it differently. It is a powerful thing…positive thinking. In the mental health world it is called “self talk”. I think that behavior therapy when a patient is stable should be the norm. Maybe it is, I’m not sure but it didn’t sound like it. Being raised in a family with a mentally ill mother (we didn’t learn this until she died) and having a father that is a psychologist and master degreed social worker (after my mother was gone), I have much balance. Many a counselor has told me that I somehow learned at a very young age to do the self talk thing because I am very self aware. I explained this to my husband and that I have never hesitated to seek help if I needed to for depression. I suggested that he should consider self talk each time he says something negative. It will be a long road. But for me I can’t say enough about the power of positive thinking, speaking, and friendships. Thanks for your free emails. They have been very helpful the last couple of days.
you are right again Dave. I’ve just finished the new MAPS (monitoring assessment and preventative strategies) program run by Melbourne’s premier private research and treatment facility, and one thing they refuse to let you say is “I AM BIPOLAR”
you are not “bipolar”
that is not a name, that is a condition that someone with a name may suffer from.
YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO ABLE TO SAY I AM NATHANIEL(for example) and I HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER. YOU HAVE TO TAKE PRECEDENCE AS AN INDIVIDUAL PERSON OVER YOUR CONDITION, AND NOT LET IT DICTATE WHO YOU ARE.
LIKEWISE IF YOU ARE A CARER/SPOUSE/FAMILY MEMBER YOU MUST ALSO REMEMBER THIS.
Good luck every one my heart and best wishes go out to all of you.
Nathaniel
Dave , you are a genius! I have beeing telling people this for years, if you think positive thoughts, good things happenand if you think negitive thoughts bad things happen. Have you ever hear of the movie “the Secret”? everyone should see it. That is the main theme of the movie, like begats like. I owe you bud, you will never know how much. Stay positive!
dave,
you are exactly right because i myself is guilty. my husband keeps on saying thats he’s well but because he’ still acting strange to my liking i am always saying that something is still wrong with him. what i do usually when i feel not so sure of him i prayed really hard and tell God to take care of him and just trust the He’ll answer my prayer. when he went back home after work and fine i sigh a relief sigh and wait for the next day to come. as you’ve said take life as it comes. of course there were days too that i myself is not that rational and don’t heed what i know must be the right thing to do. to all of us supporters listen to dave’s advice if we want to withstand the rigors of life with bipolar love ones. Pray and God will bless us all! and heed our pityful common prayers.
ellen
I have experienced bipolar episodes for more than 15 years now.
You are totally right and there are clear reasons for that , linked to
the way our emotions , hormones and biological processes interact .
All great things I did were during a relative high associated with
adequate medication . Being in a deep down now , I thank you on
reminding me of an essential attitude.
Well I have to say that I agree and disagree. I agree that it is best to tackle anything with a positive attitude. The old saying “can’t never did anything and can did it all” does not exactly apply when it comes to Bipolar Disorder. Because you can have the most positive attitude and take the meds correctly that keep you stable most of the time, but when someone who has BPD gets beyond the stress level they are capable of handling then you start to see the signs of a Manic Episode. It just takes a small amount of extra stress to send them there. And a lot of the Psychiatrists out there should not be allowed to treat people at all. They make it worse, why give a person with Bi-polar disorder a stimulant as I read in another’s blog? That is without a doubt the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. In fact, why prescribe anything when the doctor/counselor has not had adequate time with the patient to properly diagnose him? No wonder the guy lost it. You don’t give speed to someone who is already higher (bi-polar manic) than a kite! I believe there ought to be some stringent testing where the medical field is involved, a yearly evaluation to prove they are capable of making proper diagnoses and can properly dispense medication. I have (probably had by now) a friend I met on David’s old blog, who had suicidal tendencies and could not find the right Psych for her. She had gone to several quacks and they had not one clue as to how to treat her mental disorders! In fact, she had never been given a proper diagnosis and all these quacks who had been or were treating her didn’t have a clue what was up with her! But they kept the prescription pad handy and after every session she left with a different script! I haven’t heard from her in about 4 days now so later today I will call her mother and find out what has happened, but I dread this call as she was so very miserable and didn’t want to live because she had been fighting her mental disorder(s) for years without relief. I begged her practically daily to not hurt herself, typically using the pain it would cause her mother as lever, but I am afraid she has finally done the final act. And she lived in an area where the phone book was loaded with Psychiatrists and not one of them could help her! Outrageous!
Dave I believe this is very accuarate. With the proper treatment and a positive attitude anyone can accomplish what they set out to do regardless of thier disorder. The more positve affermations you say the healthier your life will be, no matter the disorder. MY husband has sever bipolar disorder, but has a great postive out look. He knows that dispite his disorder he can be highly functional. He knows that he has my support as well as his parents. When both my son and husband go into a chemical imbalance they help each other. It is truely amazing what you can do if you just put your mind to it.
Thanks Dave for all your hard work!!!!
Dave i don’t think your wrong at all. I firmly believe that apostive attitude is nessecary whether your bipolar or just trying to get through live its self. i started seeing someone who has bipolar disorder and sometimes he can be really negative. What i really like about him is he uses humor like i do and tries not to take life to seriously. I believe this his way of bouncing out the negative he might be feeling.keep doing what your doing for everyone because the your l;earn the more you understand.
I grew up in a home that I have always called disfunctional, in reality my brother has BP, but has never been diagnosed. Last week my granddaughter has been diagnosed with BP.
Dave
Of course you are right. A positive attitude is essential. I am bipolar and work and am stable, etc. My husband is wonderful and helps me with my illness. But it is true that you don’t have the illness. No one that doesn’t have the illness can’t understand what it is like. No matter how close they work with the bipolar, they DON’T have it.
I grew up in a family that I have always said was disfunctional. In reality my brother has bp, but has never been diagnosed. Now my granddaughter, age 16, was diagnosed with bp last week. My daughter and her family have a home life that was so much like mine was with my brother. I have just received your masters course, and can’t wait to get it all read. You are right about using positive reinforcement at all times. My daughter and son-in-law have really been working hard on this, but it is very very hard to do, when my granddaughter fights them about it every 3 to 4 days. Your emails have been very encouraging and all the responses are very informative and educational. We just need education. I talked to my brother, (an alcoholic and in and out of jail his entire adult life) about the symptons my granddaughter has and it was like a light bulb turning on for him because he said that sounds like me I must have bp. Now we’ve just got to get him to accept help. I will never quit trying for him or my granddaughter.
Dave I do not feel or think any different to others.I actually have found peace knowing myself more.I have a positive attitude and bubbly spirit and I know this has rolled me through those moments.It has been tremendous to have supporters who understood Bi Polar .
Negativity yes only breeds more that is what I think anyway I try and search out who and what makes me happy meanwhile I also know the Lord has placed me here to help others.
Until I happened along and blew everything out of proportion in my family,no one had even heard of it.I got the help not only for myself but to help others in the family understand and we actually have a few diagnosed with BiPolar our young ones.
It is hard for non sufferers to understand and for the ones diagnosed hard fot them just as equally to understand their supporters etc.It was like my husband or family could never say or do the right thing whether positive or negative for a long while.Their positivity toward me when I was very ill was like they were patronizing me.I needed to grow my way.
The Need To Be Me
I had Positive Affirmations and Pictures also Books everywhere I think laughter therapy is great also a good cry
On the top of my list is still God who was there all along and who humbled me enough to seek him out and I have walked his path since .
I found my happiness again this is what is important to sufferers not what someone else tries to make them see.I also found if someone tried to tell me what to say like don’t SHOULD DON’T CAN’T these were trigger words for me .BE GOOD was a big one and sort of still is but now I just reply with nope I don’t have to I am going to have fun.These are all controlling areas which for me not positive
A few words of advice steer clear of words that implying you are telling them what to do.We want our control back
Hi Dave,
I had bipolar mood disorder for 9 years (notice that i use the word had). I use the past tense because i refuse to talk negative into my life. Yes, you are correct, one must be positive daily. What helps me is that i know about bipolar mood disorder and as soon as i feel a high or a low coming on, i let my friends and family know so that they are there for the support. I do respect the fact that u feel that u know a lot about bipolar because your mom had it, but, you will never know, because you never had it. I have stopped taking meds since aug ’07. Yes i was scared at first cos i did not wanna relapse but i kept praying every day. I have not had a relapse. And i know i will not have one………..this is because i talk positive into my life all the time. When i feel a negative thought coming then i pray about it and turn it around into something positive. I am also eating healthy, exercising and goin out into the sunshine for at least 15 mins per day. I must say that i am so grateful that i can talk to u about this and i am grateful for your site. Bless you Dave.
Hi Dave, well this is knid of about what you wrote today, but also a question too. What does a person with bipolar do when no one, not even family, understands what I’m going thru? I have bad days like most people with bipolar do, and I’m being asked why I’m upset, or why I would be having a bad day! Like I can explain to them that I’m just having a bad day. It’s so confusing to me and when people say there’s nothing wrong then that really upsets me. I agree with you 100% when you told that person that saying things like they was saying over and over again, they start to believe it. I went thru that myself, but got lucky enough to get away from the person who was bringing me down to that point in my life. Now tho, I still have a problem with people not believing me, or treating me like a child because of my disorder. OR telling me I forget things when I don’t!! That really upsets me a great deal and there are times when I’m afraid that I will say something that I willl regret later on. DO you have any suggestions that may help me with thesee problems?? I know you help people with disorders and that is why I’m asking.
I do agree tho that that person needs a reality check about what is exactly going on with him/her, before it’s to late!
Hi Dave,
We all have our bad day. I have been stable and doing for 1O yrs knows
people need to have a positive attitude. Being positive is very important when your biplar. I am bipolar girl from Spain who diagnosed when she was seventeen. I was a positive thinker.After finding the right doc and medication.I acknowledge which takes sometime, It personally took about two year, where I took my leave of abscense from school.
I went to finish High School and got My BSc in Biology in the US, I am working on applying for my master and someday hope to to med school.I a happy worker in a UK hospital. this year I got reject from med school due my test score still keep a positive attitude even on those blue days Iikes take a deep breath, a walk ,do tai Chi whatever makes you feel good. Especially when i irritated b/c I can’t focus and concentrate,
He need stop be so negative and make bipolar a strenght rather a weakness.
In addition I am a bipolar support to my dad, who even he does want to acknowledge it. You can very annoying and intoxicating on manic days now that he’s retired.
Apologies for any typos especially substitute Bipolar girl >>> I have bipolar disorder.
Also I try a educated as possible about the disorder, in order to try educate others in my vicinity about what exactly is bipolar disorder ,
Finally in order to stay well you ned to take your medically regularly , to me it is as if it was second nature. I have a balance diet…
I agree with you. Spoken words have a power esp. with the way a person thinks. As a person thinks in his heart so is he.
I so totally agree with you Dave about being positive. My domestic-partner was recently diagnosed with bi-polar and is on medication. He recfers to it as his ‘psycho medicine’, thats a severe put-down in his terms. If I get angery because of his constant degrading, demeaning remarks and yell back he calls me a “psycho bitch”. Its a disorder, but he makes it extremely hard to be compassionate concerning his disorder when he is so very negative and mean. Yes, he is very self-centered, opinionated, and justifies every mean rotten thing he does or says. Its a disorder, but avery hard one to cope with. Buster really hit the nail on the old head-a-roo: “As a person thinks in his heart so is he”.
Dave
I totally agree with you. I am bi-polar and have had my share of negativity.
However, I have come a long way since my “I can’t do it days”. 5 years ago I joined a church which is loaded with God’s spirit. I was not stable and something happened to me there that if I was in a regular job at a company or store, I would have gone to jail. The loving care and forgiveness that I received there, helped make me want to learn about my illness and also to learn how to be positive. God has been good to me. I have now been stable for 2 1/2 years and have never been happier.
hello dave,
i think that you are correct. it takes a positive approach to achieve stability with all kinds of illness. some more difficult than others, i am sure. i understand that some of us with these hurdles have found our way to the path of stability. some of us have not been able to find our way. some have found what they may think is the right path. only to slip back and have to try again. it is not easy to achieve but it is POSSIBLE! with the help of good support systems in place. it takes a long time for some and it is definelty not easy . it takes alot of hardwork. i believe that if you seek the assistence of others like you dave. good doc’s and good therapists. some of us aren’t luckey enough to have a supportive family to count on. but some of us are.
but you can’t let that stop you . as long as you are trying your best to work at staying positive, trusting your supports. i believe you have a good shot at
STABILITY~
it may not come right away. we might not get instant gradifacation.
like most of us with this disorder may expect. we will begin to climb the ladder of hope, strength, belief, knowledge, self- respect, wisdom, and success. when you get to the point where you think you are finished, there will be another goal that you begin to work on for yourself.
I say to everyone that is on that ladder in life, have courage, have determination ,get the right help for you and believe in yourself no matter how high that ladder seems to be at that point in your lifeto climb. because it’s not as far as we might think. stay positive and keep working at learning new skills. PLEASE- DON’T GIVE UP! also take a break when you need one of course. recupe, then pick yourself up , dust yourself off and try again.
you can never fail if you keep trying. i wish you all ,hope, faith ,happiness,and success in all you do!
and dave, u just keep on keeping on. keep your chin up! you are a huge asset to this community! God bless you for all you do and all your support!
Jean / Ma. p.s God Bless us all~
I agree that being positive is very important. I have bi-polar disorder and am also a supporter of another with bi-polar. I say positive affirmations every day and I believe this is what helped me to work for over 30 years. My favorite is “I am healthy and happy. I am calm, confident and serene”.
I totally agree with you that seems to be alot of people saying i have biopolar and that seems to be the disorder people are blaming alot.See my little sister always says she has biopolar and she was supposivly diagnosed with it.So just the other day my son goes my mommy might have biopolar like me just so proud and my sister got so mad and goes you do not have biopolar you do not even show signs of it.And I told her well I went to a therapist and described everything to her and she was really helpful and she told me to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible and I also took an online assesment and showed her and from what it says it sounds like hypomania.So I am waiting on my insurance card so I can see somebody.Again you if anybody you should know it would be you.Gosh you sound like you are really brave and I praise you for that.
I also agree,but a positive attitude is more important than telling yourself that every things all good when deep down you know that it is not .Living in denial is not the answer finding the correct medication to balance the imbalance of brain chemicals is the most important thing you can do.The next most important thing you can do is to educate yourself about the condition then you will see just how little is known about it.The last but not least is to keep your condition to yourself as the world is full of ignorant people who will make your life miserable.And yes I have affective bi-polar disorder and am on lithium,I also fail to see how anyone who has not got B.P has any idea what they are talking about when it come to living with B.P.sorry you people have no credibility.
To LARRY: In defense of Dave Oliver – he has “street cred” if anybody does. When finally finding out that his Mom had bipolar disorder, did he act like his brother and have nothing to do with her? NO – he went and investigated and researched everything he could find on the subject, and is now employing a staff WITH bipolar and other disorders, who are SUCCESSFUL in dealing with their illnesses.
With all this information that Dave has gleaned over the years – with his Mom and through pages and pages of books – he has made a CAREER out of helping those with bipolar disorder – like me – become more and more encouraged about succeeding with this chemical imbalance. You do him – and the rest of us survivors – a great disservice by saying “you people have no credibility.”
I have had bipolar disorder for 40 years, and been through some pretty rough spots WITHOUT supporters, besides the local Community Mental Health Center. Both my husbands died, and right now, I have an incredibly high IRS debt, due to my CPA NOT filing 2005 taxes. But – do I whine and say, “poor, poor pitiful me?” No – because I have a deep, abiding faith in God, that has gotten me by when others – so-called “normal” people, would have given up.
This is partly in answer to Dave’s post today; my Dad used to say – “Act enthusiastic, and you’ll BE enthusiastic.” A positive attitude CAN go a long way. Just believe…
My prayers are with everyone, and I wish you a g’day….
I agree totally. Positive attitude can only help and I figure much better than negative affirmations. Thank you for all you do.
While I agree with you about having a positive attitude, I would think however, that you can say: “I am bipolar,” as it is used as an adjective. The same as you would say “I am diabetic.” Of course you are not “bipolar disorder” and you are not “diabetes.” You are American, but you are not America. Sorry, if I seem to be nit-picking on words. I know people who would tell you they are bipolar, though generally have a positive attitude about life. My boyfriend says that he is bipolar, but does not “suffer” from the disorder. He often sees it as a gift bringing with it many talents. He is just recovering from 6 weeks in the psych ward, having his meds re-adjusted and is very positive about the future. He is not fully stable yet, but gradually getting there, knowing that it takes a little time.
I understand what you saying and I agree with it. I can understand how someone who is clearly struggling with it would be unable to understand where you are coming from. I agree it is a whole mental image and it’s important to keep it positive.
Wow, we have a lot of positive thinkers out there. I too agree that if it weren’t for my “can do” attitude, I would be a lost cause. I have a total of 13 medical, physical, mental or health issues, including being severely abused as a child! Because there are times in my life, like Helen said, that a positive attitude cannot stand up to, I must side with her on this issue. I have something to add to it later in this post, but Bipolar does take people’s life. And it almost took mine. Positive attitude is an absolute must, but I fear my disorder as much as one fears a hot flame. It can kill me, and without medication, God forbid that ever happen, all my positive attitude goes right out the window. Now with medication, I am not “as likely” to feel suicidal, but there have been times “on my medication” that suicide looked ideal! I cannot wish, or think this problem away, so I see both sides of the coin. I see the young man’s side you were trying to explain positive thinking to. I respect and fear bipolar like we respect and fear fire. I keep plenty of water on me, which would be medication and a positive attitude on top of this water I use to douse the flames with if and when they get too hot… But there are times in my life, and I function rather well most of the time, but positive thinking has it’s limit with my level of bipolar, the extent I have had to suffer, all I have lost, and all that was taken from me at a young age, yet, if I were negative about it, I wouldn’t stand a chance…
Keep in mind that everyone had bipolar to a different degree. Some people can manage it with a small amount of medication, and positive thinking mixed with therapy, exercise, nutrition, etc. Some people like me are on a ton of medication, exercise, use nutrition, therapy and positive thinking and “Still” have bipolar moments. But you are right, I can think negatively about the short periods of time that I am down, or I can be “GRATEFUL” for the 98% of the time I am in a good mood. It is just that 2% that makes me say that positive thinking has a limit, but my point is, why not take full advantage of positive thinking and go as far as you possibly can with it?… I have heard “Whether you say you can or you say you can’t, either way you are correct”. And “Some people say the glass is half full, others half empty… Be GRATEFUL for the GLASS!!! No matter how empty or full it is!!! We only have one life. And if there is anything that works for me when I am down on my 2% day, it is GRATITUDE! It works better for me than being positive. I can’t always be positive, but I can “ALWAYS” Manage to be “Grateful”!!! No matter how bad it gets!
My vote is to choose to be grateful, have a “GLADittude” in life, live life with “THANKS-LIVING”… I have found that I can find something to be grateful for, no matter what! Even in my darkest hour there is something I can find to be grateful for.
Bob
I have got to say that you were about 50/50 on that one. I was diagnosed a month ago, and at this moment I am what you would call “suffering” with this disorder, especially being a stay at home mom of two. I havent had as much time as I would like to learn more and figure out new ways to deal with it. It takes time to tackle something that takes over you in such a strong manner. So I do beleive that if you are years and years into your diagnosis you have had plenty of time to figure out how to live with it. But those who just put a name to their confusing behavior, it will take some time. You are right everyone should be positive, but not everyone is ready and should not feel pushed. Hope my oppinion helps.
Hi Dave,
Having read the above communications, what more is there to say?
In the universe positivity attracts positivity and visa versa.
When the word “can’t” is used, no attempt is made and failure definitely follows.
When the word “can” is used, an attempt is made, failure may follow but after many “can’s” success is promised.
Take Thomas Edison for example: After over a thousand “can’s” of failure , he was eventually successful in inventing the light bulb. The word can’t was not in his vocabulary.
My son, all his life had a negative attitude with no self confidence. (He is suffering the effects of bi-polar disorder and after 29 years has only just recently been diagnosed).
His vocabulary was always ” I can’t” but no matter how I tried to explain the negativity he was attracting, he could not understand the explanation of the concept of positivity.
Perhaps the chemicals in his brain was not allowing him to do so?
As he has only been on treatment for a few days, ( Cipralex, Triliptal and Risperdal and in very small dosages) I hope to see changes in his demeanour. How long it will take….we will have to wait and see!
Rationality is taking time in his brain regarding his way of thinking.
Regards
Brenda
I agree 100% with positive thinking, but that’s probably why I’m able to cope with being with someone who has BP. I can find the best in most situations. Unfortunately it’s not always possible for HIM to see anything positive in ANY situation. The best I can do is try and put things in perspective and let him see logically that they are not as bad as he thinks.
Dave,
The concept of positive thinking is right on. I agree with you and all responders on this. My question to you is this. I have a family member who’s has a college degree in some type of behavorial mangement. Her son has BP. He self medicates with alcohol and sometimes pot. Still lives at home, very seldom works,has a small assistance and in general their household is total madness. How or can I be, of any help? SHE:)
Sandie,
Take it from me pot & alcohol and BP definitely make for a dangerous combination.My suggestion to help would be to point this out to your family member and be most adamant about it.You may suggest that the person be admitted into a psychiatric institution where they can be helped.Good Luck
Dave,
You’re right, of course; but isn’t part of the disease a tendency toward the dramatic, the critical, crying wolf (for lack of a better metaphor).Many people with the disoder blame those around them for everything from the misbehavior of the person with the ailment to the we
Dave,
You’re right, of course; but isn’t part of the disease a tendency toward the dramatic, the critical, crying wolf (for lack of a better metaphor).Many people with the disoder blame those around them for everything from the misbehavior of the person with the ailment to the weather. They are frequently incapable of taking ownership of the disease or anything else.
So…as right as you are…we can’t expect the sick person to see it readily.
Thanks, Linda
Dave,
I agree with you totally but i also know how had it is not to say these things.
I live with bipolar disorder and for a long time it was very very hard for me.
While i did not understand the disorder it did ruin my life(so to speak).
I am now working towards a successful future and learning to manage my bipolar disorder.
I still find it hard at times not to say i suffer from bipolar because alot of the time it does feel like i am suffering.
I do not have a support network to help me get through the tough time and i rely alot on my own attitudes and approaches to treatments and help.
Thank you for the wonderful work you have done you are truely an angel.
Sincere thanks Sharni (australia)