Make sure you do this with bipolar disorder

=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <= Hi, How’s it going? I just got back from the gym. Sorry for getting this out so late to you. Speaking of the gym, tons of people have
written me about how they can lose
w.eight with bipolar disorder.

I actually have some great strategies.
I might send some stuff out on this.

Anyway let’s jump into today’s topic, there
is a philosopher who said that to a
great degree the measure of our peace of
mind is directly proportional to the amount
of time we are able to spend in the present
moment.

I like this philosophy because, of course,
I like equations. So if something is in
proportion to something else, I would like
that.

So you’ve got peace of mind on one side of
the equation, and you’ve got time spent in
the present moment on the other side of
the equation.

Ok, I can see that, can’t you? Kind of like
the balancing scales of the astrological
sign Libra, or the sign we have for law.

And you can tip these scales either way.

So, say you start worrying about tomorrow.

Well, first of all, tomorrow isn’t here yet,
and like I say in my courses a lot, you need
to re-train your emotional self to live in
the moment, not to dwell on the past or
to worry about the future, because it
will make you as sick as your loved one
with bipolar disorder:

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But the point is, if you tip the scales
heavy on the side of worrying too much
about tomorrow, you are not living in
the present moment and the other side of the
scale is going to tip lighter, meaning that
you will LOSE some of your peace of mind.

And, well, it goes to follow that you just
can’t have TOO MUCH peace of mind,
so the scales will never tip too much on
that side!

But what you want to do is to have a
balance, so that the scales just won’t
tip at all on the side of worrying,
or any other negative thing that will
cause the side of peace of mind to
lessen, or for you to lose any of your
precious peace of mind.

So how do you do this?

First of all, like you learn in my courses
and systems, you try to be a more
positive person. And you can do this
through practicing positive
affirmations, replacing negative
thoughts with positive ones, all the
ways to practice being in the present
moment (and making that moment
a positive one).

But the point is, you have to do
Something! You can’t just expect
that the scales will always remain
balanced if you do nothing.

Remember back when we learned
to be PROactive instead of
REactive? You have to do something
positive to keep your peace of mind
scales in balance.

Do things that make you feel good
about yourself. Eat right. Exercise.
Practice good sleep habits. Do the
Mirror Exercise. Use positive
affirmations.

Practice relaxation
and stress-relief exercises. Do
hobbies and fun things in your life.

Make this present moment an
excellent moment to be in!

Hey I have to run and get some work done.
Catch you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

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  1. I agree Bi-polar is a balancing act and, as always, you provide some great ways to achieve balance, but it is not so easy to get that balance in your life and not worry about tomorrow because as I have stated here before I am in the final stage of emphysema and do(well actually nobody knows how long they are going to live) not know how long I have to get that stability for my daughter so she will not die when I do.

  2. Hi, Dave..All you have said in your post here is exactly what I have learned in the Out-Patient Clinics I’ve been in. Things go really well when I actually practice them, but like all new disciplines, you have to do these things “on purpose”, and it takes time to even remember to do them. I think it’s a good thing to use post-it notes all over the house as reminders and also to journal. In a jouranl you can express the negatives and get them out so they don’t get stuffed, but you can also see how what direction your thinking is really going and which side of the balance you’re most often tilting towards. I am still a great work in progress with these things. As for dwelling on the past which is a big snare for me, or worrying about the future rather than living in the PRESENT MOMENT, you are robbing yourself of precious time in life that you will never get back. At the end of things, how much regret will that cause? Blessings, Marni

  3. The scales are well tipped over one side here. Today my boyfriend was admitted to the psych ward. I hate myself for having betrayed him, but I couldn’t put up with this episode any longer. Last night he put a lot of stuff in the car, still leaving some scattered around the front garden. He went off and came back 6.30am and I heard him argue with my neighbour. He went off again in an hour.

    I arranged with my housemate if he would call the police and tell them he needs psychiatric help asap. Then I went to the psych dept at the hospital and spoke to his psych nurse, who told me they had been looking for him all week. He is supposed to have regular appointments with his psychiatrist and have his meds reassessed now and then and blood tests. He had missed the last couple of appointments and they all suspected that he had come off his meds and gone out of control. I asked the nurse not to get it back to him that I came to speak to her and didn’t give my name.

    Just when I got back home about lunchtime, he arrived, started to unpack and spread out some of his stuff again and blasting out music. I made us something to eat. He told me he was heading off west as soon as he found the car keys. I think his guardian angel must have hidden the car keys, as he was in no fit state to drive. I also think with all his belongings out in the rain not giving a damn he may well have intended to drive the car into the river.

    I knew they were coming for him any minute and I had to go out anyway, so I wasn’t there when it all happened. I’m upset enough and couldn’t face that as well. I just hope the police didn’t treat him like a criminal.

    The landlord’s agent phoned me and told me that my neighbour had complained to the landlord about the noise and mess. She got really shitty with me and I had to explain what happened. Then she said that he was never allowed back into the house and I had to get rid of the dog immediately. I will have to ask around the neighbourhood tomorrow and see if anyone can help look after the dog. I want to at least keep that one promise to him to look after his dog.

    To add more fuel to the fire, the dog is on heat and I hope and pray that she isn’t already pregnant. Last Sunday / Monday she went missing for more than 24 hours and goodness knows what happened. She seems to want to sleep a lot. Hopefully I can work something out with neighbours to help look after her, but I don’t think anyone could cope with a litter of puppies. Being a tenant is such a curse! If I owned this house I could handle everything, including puppies. I will do my utmost to help find my man and his dog a new place to move into when he comes out. He may have to stay in there for quite a few weeks. Of course he can come to visit me when he is well again – no-one needs to know. I’m cross with the woman next door. She should have spoken to me before calling the landlord behind my back.

    I’m going to have an early night, as I’m worn out.

  4. Well, I finally TIPPED the scales in favor of “peace of mind.” You see, I have this person who has owed me a LOT of money since 2004, and he hasn’t paid one cent of it. I am now in a dire financial strait with the IRS and my mortgage, and I absolutely NEED that loan to be repaid.

    I was told today by my therapist and my best friend, to get a letter off to this person. I have been procrastinating, because I have been afraid of his response, what he might do in court (if it comes to that), or his reprisal (if any; he carries a gun).

    But, as I was reading “Beliefnet” tonight, I got an inspiration to just go ahead and write the darn letter. If it’s something I know, it’s how to write a legal letter. I kept it short and sweet – pay me back, or face litigation. I put it in the envelope tonight and mailed it.

    I feel as if a great load has been lifted off my shoulder. The letter is written; it’s in the mail. I can sleep better at night, and not be so stressed over this action.

    I heartily agree with Dave that the “peace of mind” and “living in the moment” should be balanced. When you have worries, you can’t be comfortable. After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday – and you SURVIVED!!

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. Please say a little prayer for Susan who’s going through a hard time. And save one for me, as I await the answer to my “letter.” Thank you.

  5. To NIGHTLADY: It was a brave thing for you to do to go to the psych ward and ask about your boyfriend. When I owned my house, I allowed all manner of things to go on, and it eventually became a “crack house.” There was one dog, and about 7 cats (the cat had two litters!).

    I know you’re mad at the neighbor, but she must have had her reasons. I hope you can find a home for his dog; that’s the hard part of a break-up – the pet bears the brunt of being up-rooted. If all else fails, be sure you take her to the local SPCA, with a no-kill policy. That way, you’ll know she’ll be taken good care of.

    Unless you REALLY love this guy, it sounds like he’s getting to you. Are you being evicted? That just means you’ll have to go looking for another place for the 3of you to live – you, your boyfriend, and the dog!

    I commend you for your loyalty to your boyfriend. I did the same thing when I took my boyfriend back after he was in the State Mental Hospital for 3 months. But – I was “addicted” to him, and my love for him knew no bounds.

    You have my prayers in your new endeavors. Stay true to your ideals, and may God bless you real good.

  6. To NIGHTLADY: It was a brave thing for you to do to go to the psych ward and ask about your boyfriend. When I owned my house, I allowed all manner of things to go on, and it eventually became a “crack house.” There was one dog, and about 7 cats (the cat had two litters!).

    I know you’re mad at the neighbor, but she must have had her reasons. I hope you can find a home for his dog; that’s the hard part of a break-up – the pet bears the brunt of being up-rooted. If all else fails, be sure you take her to the local SPCA, with a no-kill policy. That way, you’ll know she’ll be taken good care of.

    Unless you REALLY love this guy, it sounds like he’s getting to you. Are you being evicted? That just means you’ll have to go looking for another place for the 3of you to live – you, your boyfriend, and the dog!

    I commend you for your loyalty to your boyfriend. I did the same thing when I took my boyfriend back after he was in the State Mental Hospital for 3 months. But – I was “addicted” to him, and my love for him knew no bounds.

    You have my prayers in your new endeavors. Stay true to your ideals, and may God bless you real good.

    10:15 PM

  7. David said, “…you need to re-train your emotional self to live in the moment, not to dwell on the past or to worry about the future…” This is very Buddhist! Some also argue is it very Christian in so far as the NOW is eternal, and living in the Now is, therefore, means living in Eternity.

    Just thought y’al would like to know …

  8. SUZANNE, We are not breaking up just now, but I don’t think we can live together either. When he is stable he is a loving, considerate and helpful man, but he also likes his own space. Hopefully, we can continue our relationship, living at different addresses, until he sees sense that the only way to avoid ending up in the psych ward is to stay on his meds. Then maybe we could get together properly. I will help him find a new place to live. However, I will never go through this again for a whole week. As soon as I see the signs of mania I will go straight to the hospital and no leeway. If there was a second time we probably would split up. It was just too horrible. I am still totally worn out physically, mentally and emotionally.

    I’m not being evicted yet, but have been threatened with it by the cold-hearted landlords and agents. My neighbour should have spoken to me first before reporting everything to the landlord. Although I understand that she was upset with the constant noise. Hopefully they just meant that he wasn’t allowed to stay here again indefinitely. He can still visit me and stay the odd night – they can’t expect me to live like a nun. I have to wait and let the dust settle a bit first. No idea how long he will be staying in the psych ward.

    The dog is pining for him, though she gets on very well with me. I am doing my utmost to find a temporary home within the area, so I can still take part in looking after her. My cat is usually suspicious of strangers, but took to him straight away. They got on very well, though I think the cat noticed there was something wrong recently and backed away.

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