I think “extreme mental states” are suitable as words. If you experimented theese states, it’s hard to want to return to normal if you are up and hard to recover if you are down. Like drugs.

Disorder. Discipline on the other hand. Too much discipline reminds army.
I simply don’t like army.
It’s your choise to find a middle way to satisfy yourself.

See you.

I would like to talk to Dave, ref. the Spouse… is there a # I can call and a best time to call?
thanks Bill

Hi Dave
I read your featured article Take Action and it described what happens when we don’t take action extremely well. I have had so many wonderful ideas and desires to go back to school start my own business, act, sing, model, you name it I believed that I could do it. I did not act on them because of some of the experiences I faced when first diagnosis with the illness and sometimes made a conscious decision not to because I felt vulnerable and gullible and faced lots of sexual advances from men everywhere I went and still do.
I have been ridiculed so much that my self esteem has hit rock bottom. I have isolated and encapsulated myself from mainstream society.
Even when I was in a work environment, where I was highly productive, I had to constantly fight off advances. I became selfless and eager to prove that I could remain stable. At the same time I was constantly running movies in my head about the bad, horrific and traumatic experiences from my past and how it was not dealt with properly therefore, it kept me in a constant state of depression. I could not get theses thing out my head. At the same time I felt that I could handle things on my own and were afraid, ashamed and embarrassed to pursue my dreams or ask for the help I needed.
When I did seek help from family or friends they would always tell me that they didn’t see what was wrong, stop feeling sorry for myself and that I just needed to be strong, and to keep praying etc…
I learned how to dress and communicate in a way that no one would ever suspect that I was battling the madness in my mind. Not because I was too proud but because people would do their on psychoanalysis of me and determined for their own reason what they deemed best for me. Not understanding the many complexities of the illness. So many nights in bed are spent in tears and agony.
I feel like am in a catch 22. Sometimes I do feel like it is lack on my part or laziness and that I should fight harder to overcome some of the difficulties I face with the manic side, the mood swings, the depression, and the racing thoughts that keep me from a good night rest, then leave me in a state of confusion and forgetfulness the next day. I am organized with some things and make attempts at keeping my life simple by not putting myself in situations that trigger overspending, reckless relationships and bad choices in general. But, in doing so it has prevented me from achieving my dreams and short and long term goals.
I live in fear and with the thought that people in positions to help look at me like a number, most are desensitizes to the human element of it all. They are trained to deal with the technical side of the issue. If you don’t have an appearance of metal illness or behave downright belligerent then many times you are subject to get overlooked and not taken seriously unless you are so out of control that it requires hospitalization.
I believe that there are so many undiagnosed cases of this condition because of the stigma and the denial of having such even the misconceptions . Many of the resources that are designed to help are ran by people who don’t have a clue as to how to deal with mental illness and are judging people on what they think and not what they know, which I think is either one sided or obsolete. I feel like they play hospital like we did when we were children. I believe that there are countless horror stories out here and people are crying out for help and instead of getting the help that is needed are feeling like they are part of a game like ring around the roses. The next time you are at a facility that deal with mental illness, sit in the lobby and you will hear about the hardship of dealing with the whole systems, from everything like dealing with the doctors and family, to getting the assistance you need financially.
I want to take action and do something and I try to have follow- through, but, somehow it always seems to fall apart wherefore, leaving me remained in a state of constant struggle and resistance. All the efforts slips away. But, I keep moving hoping next time will produces a magnitude of excellent results.

Strange, but the best layed plans are those plans never told.

The article on Mad Pride was a bit confusing for me. My husband has a dual diagnosis of bipolar with alcoholism. We’ve faced tremendous social stigma from family, church members, and friends on the alcoholism – and pity on the bipolar. People look at him differently, and look at me differently now, too. I feel the hurt with him when he hears these comments from others who seem to have good intentions. Yet, I’m concerned that standing up and proclaiming it to the world would have an even greater backlash on him. I just don’t want to see him hurt any more. We’ve been through so much togther already. I know I can’t shelter him. He’s an adult, not a child. I guess I’m just still in that early phase of being a supporter, deeply in love with someone who’s hurting. This is a relatively new diagnosis for him. And that means some of the ways we were living before need to change (habits, communication patterns, accomodations, etc…) So now I’m glad to find that there’s others out there to talk to and share opinions with. Thanks.

pLEASE CALL Don Jones at 928-505-7270 about someone to teach people how to use computers etc. Don suffers with severe depression and is very understanding about how some of us need it slowly explained as how to use computers. My bipolar son works with him in his (Dons) computer store, and Don has all the patience in the world with Sam and other kids teaching them the tricks of the trade. dj carpenter We are in Arizona, so please call between 9 and 5 arizona time…