Hi,

How’s it going?

I can’t believe I am already running behind
schedule.

Anyway, hope you had a great day yesterday
and did something fun.

I just went over to my parents house and
had dinner and did some planning. I was
suppose to go visit my friend who has
recently had a baby but they were all
tied up. It seems that it’s kind of
hard to them adjusting to have a new
born. I guess, like bipolar disorder,
overtime they will figure it out.

On another note, I have gotten a whole
lot of people asking:

How do you have the time to write these
daily emails every day?

One person wrote:

“Dave, I started getting your emails 8 months
ago or so. They have helped me tremendously.
Thank you.
I thought to myself there would
be no way that you could keep sending them.
But you do. I am amazed. How do you do it?”

Well, it does take 1 hour a day. I have made
a commitment like brushing your teeth or taking
a shower. I just schedule it in.

But in order to do this, I have to not do
other things. I have to say no to doing
certain things that I don’t have the time
to do.

That actually leads to today’s topic.

Today I wanted to talk about something
super important for the new year. Something
you are going to have to think long and
hard about if you are going to be a successful
bipolar supporter OR a successful person with
bipolar disorder.

I call it saying no.

What do I mean?

When you are coping and dealing with
bipolar disorder and trying to figure things
out whether you have it or your are supporting
someone with it, it requires time. You have
to study. You have to think. You have
to do a lot of stuff. This is for anyone
dealing with bipolar disorder.

With that said, you only have so many
hours in the day. There is only so much
time. As a result, if you are serious
about winning the war against bipolar
disorder, you have to prioritize.

Prioritizing means saying yes to
some things but saying no to many
things.

I find that bipolar supporters AND
bipolar survivors come to me half dead
so to speak and running themselves
into an early grave because they
have not said no to a whole lot of
things they should be saying no to.

They have this large task of figuring
out what to do with bipolar disorder and
at the same time, they still are doing
the same things prior to their being
any problems with bipolar disorder.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Maybe this is not clear so let me
explain.

I will start with bipolar supporters
first.

If you are a bipolar supporter, you may
have to:

-say no to charity. Why? You don’t
have time. Even though you may have
made a promise years prior that you could
do a lot of charity work. Unfortunately
a new priority has come up–bipolar
disorder.

-say no to volunteering. Why? You don’t
have the time because you have to help
your loved one.

-say no to spending extra time at work
even though you would make extra money.
Why? You don’t have the time.

-say no to SOME activities you use to
say yes to all the time. Why? You
have to spend your extra time reading,
thinking and planning for bipolar disorder.

-say no to listening to friends and family
members complain about all kinds of
things…Why? You already have a
major problem you are trying to solve…
figuring out bipolar disorder to help
your loved one, you don’t have time
for now to listen to other people’s
problems which most of the time aren’t
problems anyway.

I had to say no to a whole lot of things.
At the time, many of my friends were not
understanding. My girlfriend at the time
was understanding. But, I feel that
saying no was one of the critical things
that helped me help my mom.

Now for bipolar survivors, they
have to say no as well:

Say no to working for a short period
of time or a long period of time.

Say no to volunteering or charity (if
in the middle of an episode).

Say no to taking care of baby sitting.
NOTE-My mom was doing into an episode and
tried hard to still baby sit my brothers
kids. When I asked her why, she said, “because
I promised last year that I would.” I explained
to her: “Well that was last year, this is,
this year and things of changed. Sorry.”
She agreed but at first really was going
to try to “do it all.”

Say no to hanging out with friends and
family that may be a bad influence on
what you need to do to do well with
bipolar disorder.

I could go on and on but I am sure you
get the idea.

Here’s the deal. Obviously bipolar disorder
is really serious. So you have to focus
your time and energy on it to get it
“handled.”

Too many times, people come to me and they
are running themselves ragged trying to
do it all. Trying to be a super
person. It won’t work. You will wind up
making yourself sick or if you have
bipolar disorder, you will prevent
yourself from ever getting stable.

Actually I myself have not even followed
my own philosophy recently. I have had
all kinds of people demand time from me
and I should say no but I wind up saying
“okay.” As a result in the last two months,
I have been working like a madman.

The reason why I wrote this today was:

#1: I was talking to my mom about how
she say no to many things now and how
great that was.

#2: I know today I have to say no to
a lot of people so it reminded me of
how important a topic this is and how
it relates to bipolar disorder.

#3: I know that thousands of people on
my list should be saying no way more
than they are.

Okay, well one last thing that I want
to say. Saying no is tough. You might
feel bad. You may feel guilty. You may
feel like you have to break a promise.
Remember you are saying no for a good
cause.

Wow, I just looked at the clock. I seriously
have to go. Catch you tomorrow. Hey, tell me
some stories of how saying no has helped
you deal with bipolar disorder if you any.

Thanks.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com