Hi,
I saw a poster the other day that said: “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!” I thought that was really cool. You know, I get a LOT of emails. And sometimes it feels like I get the same email over and over, because so many supporters feel the same way. I mean, the name may be different, and the city and state may be different, the situation may even be slightly different, but the problem is still the same. Like the saying I was talking about. It’s what I want to say to many of the supporters who write to me. They tell me how hard it is for them. And believe me…I KNOW how hard it can be! I still haven’t forgotten the pain of trying to help
my mom when she was at her worst. At times I didn’t think I could stand any more. I wanted to run away and never come back. In the end…I just couldn’t do it. It didn’t make it hurt any less, though.
So…This describes that feeling perfectly: At the end of your rope. And what do you do? You tie a knot and hang on. That’s all you can do sometimes. Sometimes you can get frustrated because what you’re doing isn’t working. And that can certainly lead up to feeling like you’re at the end of your rope. Sometimes you can feel like you’re the only one who cares. And that can be so frustrating. I got an email from a woman whose sister has bipolar disorder. And systematically, her sister had pushed away everyone in the family but this woman. She was the only one left trying to help her sister. She was so close to the end of her rope, but she was afraid to give up. because she thought that if she gave up, her sister would have no one to help her. So I just told her not to give up. Things eventually do get better. A solution will present itself that wasn’t there
before. Or the doctor will try a new medication on your loved one and they will get better. Or you will think of something you haven’t tried yet, and it will improve things. Just something will change. And it can make all the difference in the world. You never know. The key is to not give up. If you give up…You lose. So just don’t give up. Tie that knot and hang on. The answer will present itself. Things will get better.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
supporting a bi-polar adult is so difficult and one has to do lot of sacrifice & patience required to deal patients of this special features.
for others looks normal.
Observe their behaviourial pattern & change in attitude
Behave oversmart & hiding the disease
They always talk things that r not true and what they tell do the reverse for they need the opposite
Sometime u have to use some sort forceful versions
Taking them under medication is most difficult
during episodes manage them to push to hospital is much more challenging
Don’t panic and accept things as it is
Things won’t change & don’t expect miracles, it is long healing theary requirement
Change of place can give some relief.
Be less talkative and behave responible adult
Please give me some tips & guides from your experiences
DAVE
yours
krishna
on matters of frustration….especially when dealing with a loved one you’d prefer as a mate but is constantly in “daughter” mode” never wanting to grow up because Daddy was a spoiler, truly understand this good point. i even had to raise my voice at this woman when she suggested I clean the Pet Tank. My friends say she’s a frog that needs a serious kiss – i gave her one today hopefully she’ll comply and be the princess Her Dad told her she was to me. You see Dave, I married the wrong woman – i truly loved an attorney by the name of Dominique (she was perfect) but…..i guess i frustrated her a bit too much (i would beat around the bush when it came to answering her questions and now i’m in the same predicament) with this current beau of mine.
This woman i’m living with has not been able to fulfill me so I’m tying a knot and just holding on for dear life now – she’s everything but a lover (an annoying sibling, a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, you get the idea)
in life all we want to know if that we have many options for happiness of course, but within one of those many options you hope the one you choose is the best to show “True Happiness”. I think this time I’ll stay single; no more bipolar or witchhunt cases for me.
at the end of the day, I have my own “true identity” – my lotto ticket for now! Ever live with complete strangers? that’s been the story of my life for 6 years now.
Hi David, I have to say, I am VERY at the end of my rope. I am emotionally, physically and finacially wiped out. I really can’t do it any more and I myself don’t know where to turn for the help that I need. I live in Huffman Texas, close to Houston Texas and if you know of anyone who can help me (I don’t have the money for it) deal with being the supporter (very depressed myself) of a very unbalanced bipolar person, I would appreciate it if you could tell me. I am VERY ready of running away from this relationship and honestly, if I had the money, I’d be gone already. I am not even really sure if I still love him anymore. Please help if you can. Thanks, June
Hi David. I’ve been reading your post from time to time ever since I’m with this man with bipolar. At this point, i have to say I’m at the very end of the rope now, and I’m losing my grip now.
Few days ago, my man was at his worst, he wanted to leave me, I didn’t stop him this time as i was so emotionally and physically exhausted. Then he left the country and planning to die alone in a strange land.
Last night, I almost lost him. I tried every possible effort i could to hold him back by threatening him with my life. Finally I managed to hold him back for one more day, but I don’t know what’s going to happen the next day. And I don’t know how much longer can I hold on to this end of the rope on one hand and holding him on the other. I feel like I’m losing my grips on both hands now. I love this man very much and i know he loves me deeply too. But at this point, I don’t know what else can i say or do to help him get out of this darkness, especially when he’s now in such a faraway land. Please help if you can. Thanks, Peisy