==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
Hi,
How’s it going.
Today I have something really simple
to tell you. Short and simple. I have
to make it quick. I have to volunteer
tonight. Hand out candy and go to a
party so I have lots to do today.
With that said, yesterday I was at two
business meetings and I thought of
something with bipolar disorder.
The second meeting was great but
the first one got way off track
and it’s what made me think of
this key bipolar success secret.
I thought of it when a person was
on the “hot seat” in our meeting.
That means that a business owner
sits on a chair facing the group
of us and tells his 3 biggest problems
in his/her business and we brainstorm
solutions.
So this guy was on the hot seat and
guess what? He could not come up with
his three problems. He basically
just kept saying, “business hasn’t
been well.” He complained about high
gas prices, the war, and a bad economy.
He never said specifically what problems
he was having.
It was really annoying actually because
he wound up wasting a lot of time.
After I heard this, I thought
of how so many people wind up complaining
about bipolar disorder but never clearly
identify what are the exact problems
they have and never focus on solutions.
When I was first helping my mom,
I made a complete list of exactly what
problems I was having. Here is an excerpt
from my notes:
-Figure out what she has
-Find a doctor to help
-Figure out how to help her prevent it
-Help her be able to handle it
-Help her get out of de.bt
and there were many other things
but you get the idea.
NOTE-I put “it” because at the time
I really didn’t know or understand
what my mom had. This is before
I had done a ton of research.
When you get my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
one thing that runs through it is the fact that you
have to be proactive and also you have
focus on solving problems not just complaining.
Many people just complain about bipolar
disorder and never come up with any solutions.
This is one of the biggest reasons that people
who do well with bipolar disorder don’t go to
or avoid support group meetings. Keep in mind
that I volunteer at three and have been for over
three years but I have noticed that many people
will not go because it turns into what one person
has said is a “complaint fest.”
I have to agree. It frustrates me that some
people just like to talk and complain and not
focus on solutions like the business owner
that I encountered yesterday.
I am sure there are many people on this list
that use to complain and then focused on finding
solutions and defining the exact problems they
had. These people wind up beating bipolar
and controlling it instead of it control them.
I am sure that you know people who always complain.
And if you offer them suggestions, they kind of
get mad. They just want to complain and never
want to fix the problem. I find it so true with
bipolar disorder. People love to complain
about it. They love to assume that whatever
the problems are, one is doomed and there
are no solutions. There are always solutions
to every “bipolar” problem. I have had
the most difficult problems and found
solutions.
With that said, I have to take off. Write me
some stories based on this email if you could.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
David:
During my stay at the hospital and when my meds had stabilized my condition, I had been attending group therapy sessions. All it was was a “bitch session”. I understand these people have to get this stuff off their chest,but their not open to solutions, they’d rather wallow in their grief. When they’d get to me and I’d say I’m doing great-I wasn’t allowed to talk that long. Finally I asked the doctor to allow me to leave the group in good graces of the program because of the reasons stated above. These people would go on and on about the what was going on never really getting down to what the problem truly was. Was the problem with their reaction? Usually yes. It’s usually not the other person. Because you can’t control other people, the only person you can control is yourself.
You can control how you act, react, respond, and if other people don’t live up to your expectations–OH Well- that’s their problem, not yours.
Know that I know that I have bi polar I wonder why my family didn’t see it way before and send me for help. Instead they consatanly berated me and my moods and the crazy things that came with them.
I did serrrious things and could have hurt someone with the dysphoria.
Medication woudl have be a good thing for me back in my teens and early twenties, I would have been able to tame the beast so to speak.
When people say to me that i spend too much time exploring bipolar I say to them haow can you put a puzzel together with out looking at all the pieces plus the picture you want to create.
I am greatfull that I have a plan in effect now and that I can reconize when a mood change is happening or what might trigger it and avoid or prepare for it.
Dear Folks ,
These mails and Dave’s info
are a Godsend . His website was referred to me by my daughter-in-law. My second son is really going thru some hard times as his Bi-Polar is just now fired up and finally been diagnosed properly and has started on the meds that finally solved my problem. Years ago a doctor from Egypt tried me on Depakote.. it was just what my body needed and I rebuilt my life by it’s working on me . Some of the
“new” drugs they try now have so many side effects and do not work as well as the older meds. God bless you Dave for your sharing of this invaluable knowledge..
David,
I am new to all of this, my husband just found out in the last few months, he is bipolar, along with other issues he is trying to deal with. Your letters are incouraging and I thank you. My husband is not happy. It is hard to except that I cannot make him happy and he needs to find it within himself. I keep trying to spark the smiles from him that I miss so much. He is seeing a Doctor but only every month and a half. I thought the visits would be more often. Should they be?
Tammi:
Hang in there. Your doctor likely has set up that amount of time between appointments because there isn’t a need to go more often. With my fiance the longer the amount of time that passes since his last episode, the longer the amount of time between appointments. This is not the rule, though.
If I start to notice anything amiss, I call his doctor and she will see him before his scheduled appointment.
So my question to you is: are you comfortable with the length of time between your husband’s appointments? Bear in mind there is only so much a doctor can do, and that your husband has his own responsibilities towards getting well. If he has just been diagnosed then he is probably going through a grief process. Once you are diagnosed, your life changes forever. Once your husband comes to terms with that change, he will smile again. Keep smiling at him, he needs it! Everyone’s grief process is different and lasts different amounts of time.
If you are new to bipolar I strongly recommend the book, “Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder” by Julie A. Fast. I read it when I was new to the disorder, while my fiance was in the hospital and it was so helpful.
Good luck to you.
Hi Dave, Happy Holloween!!!! I agree, The major step is just getting out of the closet. So we are crazy, I would rather be crazy, myself. Without passion nothing would be accomplished in the world. I am passionate about my insane self. Talking with u-all helps me. we have nothing to be ashamed of, turning a negitive into a positive is my goal. Be safe tonight everyone!!! Thanks, Karen
My husband doesn’t complain, he just go from one episode to another. Will not see a doctor and we are deeply in debt. I’m still stuggling to get him to see a doctor or someone in mental health. It seems that he has had these problems for a long time and I was blind to what it is. I think he is afraid and will not take that first step toward help.
Hello David, I have been bipolar all my life but was diagnosed this past March. Being diagnosed was actually a relief because there was an actual reason for this roller coaster I was on. And I could quit using all my energies from hiding my symptoms to doing something about them. I have been spending much time on finding out what bipolar is and am now starting on the what do I do about it part. I am so glad I ran across your site and have already ordered some of your books. I am a nurse and I need the what to do about it part because that is how I think. I look forward to learning more from you. God bless you (and your mom) for the information you give out. Tracie
Hi David, I always try to keep a good out look on my live and not let bipolar rule me. But there are times like now it does not feel that way. I saw my dr. today and she gave me a new med. to try. No I dont go to groups, I get to nerves. Maybe Ill go try it any way with out speaking. Thanks, Danielle
hi friends,
My friend has not been oficially diagnosed as bipolar yet,however, after reading a lot about bipolar I am absolutely convinced that he has got it. I presume that the doctor sees only what he sees and in order to go beyond just concluding that my friend is manic, he has to see the depressive phase too. Am I right in making those conclusions or may doctors actually rely on the relatives saying that there has been a depressive episode in the past?
To all of you:
The more you learn about this condition the better! I agree with David, problem solving is a key aspect.I’m a supporter and I have to watch things like a hawk, things can quickly go out of control. We all need to educate ourselves with solutions–the more the better.My husband and I are married for 20 years and he has been diagnosed about 3 years ago. Now it makes all sense to me why all the roller coasters, bankruptcy, financial problems ect.The only thing that provided help was problem solving on many different levels—and I know I will get better yet with more education.Be persistend !
I also tried a local bp supportere group but left because I was the highest functioning person there. I found that I could get more from online bp support groups where I could pick and choose what to respond to. I also go to therapy, and have journaled for years. I recommend a book on the 12 step approach to accepting chronic illness for help – written by Schaef I think – anyway, you have to go through the stages of grief at not being your old self and accept the new one – and the 12 step approach can help there.
Thanks, Dave. Because of your emails, I have become more proactive with the bipolar, and the opportunity to blog here has helped tremendously.
I just found out that my therapist is retiring next year…this was a TERRIBLE blow, as I have known her for 36 years, and been a client of hers for half that time. I don’t WANT to have to “break in” another therapist – going over conditions since conception that got me in the “mental health” system. It was also suggested that I join a support group – I HATE group therapy. I end up taking on me the emotions of the others in the group, and leave feeling completely EXHAUSTED and questioning my own sanity. At this point, I feel like I’m “bungee jumping;” as a friend of mine said, “When you come to a fork in the road – take it.” Not only do I NOT understand, I’m not sure either option is right for me.
Now, I’m NOT going to stop getting therapeutic help from the Community Mental Health Center; I need the one-on-one cognitive “talk” every other week. I have trouble coping with everyday struggles – just going grocery shopping can induce “nerves.” I need to see my problems through someone who can HELP me see all sides of an issue, and allow me to consider options and choices. My current therapist has known me since my second hospitalization in 1970; she’s one year older than me, so we’re part of the same generation – I don’t see how I can manage without her…
I will see how things play out – I will TRY the new therapist; I will TRY group therapy. But, ultimately, it will be MY choice as to which I will go to. This is a HARD situation for me; I’ve come to rely on her for sooo much in my life. She’s been there when both my husbands died. She’s been there when I sold my apartment house I lived in for 30 years, and the grief reactions I’ve been feeling with my diagnosis. She says I’m doing GREAT, but she can’t be with me 24/7 in the dark times she doesn’t know about. To be literal about it – I’m scared in the face of the unknown…
Hope everyone had a HAPPY HALLOWEEEN and the ghouls didn’t getcha!
BIG HUGS for all bipolars and the ones who love you. My prayers are with you. Be strong…
I have been on the sick for at fewer 20 years and the so-called Doctors say I suffer with bipolar disorder, but I only had a road accident in 1988.
And I have defecated getting a job while the labelling is still going on??
From Chris from Sheffield S1
To Chris – Yes, labeling is a problem – I escaped it because I only really was diagnozed later on – You can really get entangled in the system for good or ill – I recommend Web MD’s bipolar support group on the web so you can hear from others who are making their way through life with bp. Our lives are what we make them. Even more so with bp. I have found that in the general field of rehabilitation no matter what anyone says, we are on our own – that’s why I appreciate David’s efforts to get info out there.
My husband refuses to even TALK about the possibility he is bipolar. But, after serious research on my part and talks I’ve had w/ his extended family, I’m 100% sure. The problem I have is everybody’s perception that the mere mention of “bipolar” is a bad thing. So bad, that it shouldn’t be discussed in front of the children! What’s the big deal? If it was diabetes, would that be okay to discuss in front of the children? I realize it’s not pleasant but it’s not a “bad word” either, and I don’t understand why it has to be a “secret”. This ignorance may very well kill my husband.