Hi,

There’s something you need to keep in mind if you are dealing with a loved one who has bipolar disorder: KEEPING PRIORITIES. Doing this can really help you to cope. The thing is, though, first you need to decide if something really is a priority or not. Sometimes people can really “make a mountain out of a molehill,” as the saying goes, and then they get their priorities all mixed up. But if you do have your priorities in order, it can help you to have a greater perspective on things.

Like this email I got the other day:

Hi David,

It is true that we who are the supporters wind up needing some support ourselves sometimes. It’s

very easy to get tied up with not only every day obligations but so many unexpected things can arise as well. You have to remember you can’t always do all of the things that crop up unexpectantly. There are just so many hours in a day and you have to prioritize. If you sit back, take a moment and just stop to think, there will be some things that can be put off until tomorrow. Didn’t get to do the breakfast dishes this morning? Maybe you could just put them

in the dishwasher or give a quick rinse til you get home and do them all after supper as well. Or maybe you forgot to take something out of the freezer for dinner. You can still defrost it in the microwave and then cook or reheat it, then try to get something ready for the next day at the same time. How’s a double recipe sound to save some time for the next day? Take care of real emergencies – don’t make them. With bi polar you always have to keep your eyes open for one.

Being aware of signs are important to catch before [an episode] can arise.”

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I really like how she says: “Take care of real emergencies – don’t make them.” I think too many people do that, whether they mean to or not. Then that just makes their situation worse. John Lennon said: “Life is what happens to you when you’re making other plans.” You have to kind of “plan” for other things to happen just in case something goes wrong with your plans. I know that seems kind of funny, but it’s true. I mean, you do need to make plans, that’s important. But you also need to make a Plan B in case something unexpected comes up. That way you can deal with it. It’s important to have plans, and in order to do that, you do need to prioritize, and to prioritize correctly. If you don’t, you’ll be making emergencies out of things that you should just let slide.

Have you ever known someone who was a “drama queen?” Someone who was always making a crisis out of the smallest incident? Didn’t that bother you? Well, you could say that that person definitely did not have their priorities in order, couldn’t you?

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Life is NOT an emergency! You need to be able to take things as they come, or you will end up stressed out and unable to deal with things that you need to deal with. And possibly even making yourself sick in the process.

So, for example…Your first priority should be to make sure that you are taking care of yourself (because otherwise how can you take care of your loved one). Make sure that your own needs are being met. Then your next priority could be taking care of your loved one.

Try sitting down and making a priority list to see if your priorities are in order. If not, you may need to change some things.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave