Hello Mr. Oliver, My name is Sheila and this is not the first time I have attempted to talk to you but you are extremely busy, I can observe this from what I have read, I have one question, do you also have any info on Schyzophrenia or know where I can find some info? See I do have bipolar but I also have schyzophrenia, my doctor calls this schyzo-effective and I read your emails all the time, they are quite useful to me. Do not worry about those who try to judge your motives and I wish I could meet you in person, I am willing to bet you are quite a person whose only motive here is to try to educate people on bipolar illness as someone with experience with your mom, God bless you. How is your mom doing? Hope she is stable I know from personal experience the nightmares of dealing with myself and not sure I want to imagine what my family must go through when I am not so stable. My ex husband’s family was so ignorant about this illness they actually tried to say that I gave their son my mental illness, lol I know this is impossible but anyway I am kind of afraid to tell people I have bipolar, they have heard of it but don’t know the facts and give me a look like I am some kind of freak of nature or something close to that. Iam not always able to trust people with that information but your emails were able to assist me in explaining to a professor at my local community college. I did not tell him during the semester I was a student but after because I did not want special treatment on the account of my bipolar-schyzophrenia, I wanted to see if I could make it through his class {intro to business} on my own steam. I was also terrified he would have the same response as anyone else I have ever told and sure enough he kind of did until I showed him one or two of your emails, he seemed to change his attitude slightly after that. I do believe I bug him too much though. Well I basically wanted to ask you that one question and thank you again for all the information you send, I keep it all in my important email folder and so far you really do dominate that folder lol.

Dave, Hi and hope your having a good day.Your doing a great job!
For both supporters and those with
bypolar. Your dedication and attitude are something to be very
proud of. Your info is invaluable,
to all whether supporter or bypolar,or for those involved with
either.
I for one use it to educate those
who make fun,take advantage of the
two I support.And,you are right,bypolars are very smart! At
least when they don’t have addictions running their lives. My
two friends have addictions,and
are used by the people where we
live for their own personal amusement and one of them is a
woman that works for a doctor near
by. These people are alcoholics themselves but are not bypolar.
I do the best I can, and without
your info to print out in put in
front of their faces I would be
lost. I really care and love these
two friends,but I don’t have a
great deal of patients with those
who find degrading others to build
their egos.
Please keep up the great job your
doing, and know it is all worth the
effort you put in. Thanks for being
there for all of us…Hugs,Alexa

You are doing so much good. Negative energy, people bringing you down like the 10/2 thing from last week is getting to you. Only you know if you need a break. Certainly you are going at a break-neck speed. From a BP I think you are a little zapped from work, and this negativity, you do all the right things, gym, etc. Perhaps a long wknd? Sounds like a mother I know. Personally, with mentally ill people having so much information about you, maybe a techie could help you set up personal acct. so your own life is just that. As for the ones that get through professionally, you are providing, and marketing the tools for success. Just like the manager of GM is not responsible for crashes in Chevrolets, you are not responsible, and should therefore not be abused overly by people that slip into your communication circle. Take your own advice and take care of yourself, if nothing else, the program that you have set up for your mother includes you, and likely relies heavily on your passion for the systems that you have set up. Best of luck.

PS. My advice is worth what you paid for it, FREE!. LOL

busteryou put alot of time in what you do. I feel that you know in you own heart you are helping some one. Keep up the good work I enjoy it alot and it helps also. Sharon

Dear David,

I was recently got out of a Mental Heath Ward, after a 7 day stay, by my choice. But what really bothered me was that even the workers in there didn’t really understand people that have rapisd cycles, one minute from to the next. I can be on top of the world one minute and so depressed that all I can think of is ways to kill myself.I am disabled and my Mental Heath doctor thinks that I am just depressed because of my diease, and because of my family life. (which isn’t good right now, but I pray will get better, if their every believe in me again). I also ask my Mental Health Dr. what he thought my diagnosed was , and he said just major depression.But I know there is more to it than that. Also after I went and see my Pain Mangement Dr. (after putting myself in the health health ward for my rapid cyclingand trying to get my meds right(whcih at this point I don’t feel it’s working right).But my Pain Mangement Dr. whoi I have been seeing for 3 years, gives me a video called “WHEN THE MIND CAUSES PAIN AND ILLINESS”. And that i told him, I didn’t want half the opiods he had me on.I feel like he thinks I am faking it, and that the other 6 Medical Dr’s, 8 Pain Mangements Dr’s, and 3Other Mental Health Dr’s, all said that I did have RSD/CPRS, and was Bi-polar. I just don’t understand why these 2 Dr’s now think I am a liar, and am faking these disase and my mental health problems.
What am I to do?? My family is so tired of me and my bi-polar, and then having to help me to even simple things like making a bed or doing dishes or laundry.Sorry, don’t mean any thing to them anymore. (I live with my Hubby, my2 sons and my father)What and how can I get them to understand??? I wish I had a great son like you are with your Mom. She is a very lucky Lady, and i pray for her and you daily. And please tell her , my thoughts and prayers are with her.
If I where your Mom, what could I do to change the way all these MEN in my life to understand me??? (even that when I need to check myself into a Mental HealthWard, I feel like it is a safe havwen for me, because otthers are there that are like me), and it is not that I want to be away, but I need to help myself.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE??? I TRULY THINK THAT YOU ARE A GREAT ADVOCTE For People like me and others, that wish the world could understand and listen to us and truly HEAR WHAT WE AND YOU SAY!!
IF and when you have time (i know that you are really busy,) BUT ANY IDAEAS OR ADVISE I WOULD APPRECIATE IT !!!!

Thank you for all the support, understanding and help that you are providing for us that need you!
Thanks again,
Angelia Beckmann

God bless, and Thank You for believing in your Mom and truly trying to help her and peole like her and us! GOD BLESS YOU AND HER!

Do you have any info for children of bipolar parent. She is 12 and is not living with the parent at this time. Mother is constantly trying to pull her into her madness when she is in a episode

To Roshan,

I will have this solved immediately and get back to you.

Dave

People attack what they don’t know or understand. It is sad but true that the world is full of people who can only see black and white – think of what they miss out on being so narrow minded. It helps to deal with these kind of people when you consider the source – ignorance.

Always focus on the reason you are doing what you are doing and for whom – you obviously have a strong desire to help others.

My son is on abilify and it seems to be working in leveling out his moods. I do plan on purchasing your material when my employment situation stabilizes.

Thanks, Mary

He will only expose the fact that you are helping people like us. I am positive you have many who would take the stand to prove that you have brought sanity into our lives. No more focusing on the negative now. lol.

Sorry to hear about some giving you problems. I have been a bipolar supporter for about 10 years now and have learned a great deal about the problems with this disease. It seems to me that people should be thankful for the information and help rather than attacking the person trying to be helpful. Keep up the good work.

Hi Roshan, This is Heather from the Leverage Team. Did you receive my message? Please send me your phone number so we can talk. My email is working.

Thanks!
Heather

I have been following & collecting these lessons on bipolar disorder for some years. At age 75 I am a still-practicing psychiatrist in Iowa. I commend the author(s) for their helpful and insightful labors, as they seem to be both sensitive and smartly perceptive. As a result, I have saved c. 500 of these blogs to CD and I have passed them on to my staff who feel the same as I do about how observant & discerning the lessons are and about how helpful they have been in our work.
Dr. JLD in Iowa

Dave;
I appreciate all the hard word you do!! Try to ignore the negative and focus on the positive.
My 24 year old son is bi-polar and is going through a divorce. His wife didn’t want to deal with it. Your daily emails help. I’m doing what I can to help him but he needs financial help with medication and doctors. I know you have sent this information out in the past but I cleared out my saved email folder and accidentally deleted the one from you dealing with financial help. Could you send it again?
Thanks again for all that you do. My family and I here in Idaho appreciate everything you do.!!!!!

David,
I don’t think it is right for B-P supporters to attack the people who are trying to help them. I think that people who have been supporting someone with bi-polar for a long time without the bi-polar person being treated are angry and tired and feel being angry with their loved one either doesn’t work or is unfair to someone who has an illness. So the anger remains until they find someone it is “safe” to unload on. Perhaps they sense that it is safe to unload on you either because they figure they will never meet you or because you are understanding of people who have problems. Unfortunately some people aren’t content to just vent, but need to take revenge to some extent and make threats or say cruel things. I know my husband and son (they have B-P) tell me that they end up taking things out on me because they know I will love them anyway, so they are safe to vent on me. I, on the other hand, grew up in a peaceful family with the gentlest parents and have had a time trying to live with the anger and fluctuating moods of 2 people I love having bi-polar. I tend to attempt to talk to them calmly and when that doesn’t work, I leave the room. Sometimes they follow me. My son has knocked holes in the door when I have locked myself into a bedroom to wait out an episode and he has run up the street yelling behind my car when I have tried to drive away til things cool down. If I can’t distance myself, I often begin to work a crossword puzzle or read or scrub the floor. I’ve become very adept at mentally distancing myself at those times. It usually squelches the rages faster than trying to reason with them or yell back. Then later, during a calm time, I make real trips away to renew myself.

Angela H

HI Dave please keep up your good work,and dont let idiots get you down.Ilove your emails thanks for them .Tina U.K

Angela said, “the bi-polar person being treated are angry and tired and feel being angry with their loved one either doesn’t work or is unfair to someone who has an illness. So the anger remains until they find someone it is “safe” to unload on.”
Maybe but isn’t this true of ANYONE, not just people with BP? Husband comes home after a bad day in the office where colleagues in the office, or the boss, have been biting at his heels; so he metaphorically “kicks the cat” – he lets off steam at his wife and/or the kids. Wife (if she’s lucky enough not to have to work) has a bad day, or or sleepless night, with the baby crying all the time. Rather than batter the baby she takes out her frustration and anger on her husband! It isn’t only people with BP who off-load onto soft targets.

And maybe the people with BP have a mite better and excuse because, as I explained earlier, they (we, I’m one of them) have variable, usually limited, control over our emotions. If we had full control over them we’d not be BP! In some respects, we are like the baby – if something upsets us we cannot always react with the same measured response as someone without BP would normally do. Shout at me when I’m depressed and I may easily burst into tears. Shout at me when I’m in a mixed mood and, boy! Will I give you a full on verbal counter attack, such that you will worry I might thump you! Completely different reactions from one person, and neither of them are “normal”, especially for a 53 year old guy, both representing an inability to control emotions and, thence, the behaviour resulting from them.

…………………………

But before we all get into a “… it’s miserable being a …” festival …

Yes, I can imagine it must be a right b####d to be a BP supporter, especially when you have to deal with people like me and some VERY much worse. But I can tell you, it ain’t much fun having BP, either! At least you supporters can walk away from the influence of BP. We can’t! We can (and ‘I’ do) try to make the best of it, and the enhanced creativity which BP often brings is one bonus – at least, it is if we can stay out of the depression long enough to appreciate our work! But at the moment, the best I’m able to make of my BP is being here and writing about my personal insights into it. Other than that, I’m not presently able to work for a living and support my family. I am NOT looking for sympathy! (Don’t give me any sympathy – I don’t need it and besides, as I’m depressed kin words only make me cry! And I HATE it when that happens!!!) I don’t think of myself as a “victim” of BP; but I don’t see it as an “opportunity” or a “gift”, either! Having BP is really shi##y, but sh#t happens. That’s Life. So, we with BP have to make the best of it or go under. And from what I see, NOT going under, staying a live, is a success for anyone with BP. Everything else on top is a real bonus! The icing on the cake. Me, I’m going to have a piece of that icing …

Dave – all I can say is – don’t subject yourself to the negative emails and phone calls; you’re much TOO important to deal with idiots! I hope you take your own advice, and just NOT read/answer them. There are THOUSANDS of us who are POSITIVE toward you, and really appreciate ALL the hard work you do to write an email EVERY DAY to educate and enlighten us people with bipolar disorder. I, especially, enjoy the opportunity to reply on this blog, and maybe learn, and teach, something to the others, who have been very helpful, too. So – don’t let the naysayers get you down. Your work on BipolarCentral is SO important; don’t let US down.
And – don’t let YOURSELF down; just keep on doin’ that thing you do – and let the blimeys “hang.”

As to blaming doctors and therapists for the bipolar survivor’s problems – my Mom did that in a BIG way. During my last (and final, I hope) manic episode, I had called my therapist primarily so my Mom could talk to her personally, instead of getting information third-party through me. Well, my Mom starts yelling, swearing a blue streak, and calling my therapist every f*ing name in the book. I sat there, dumbfounded, as I never heard my Mom carry on like that. I came THIS close to slapping my Mom; I am generally NOT a physical person, but I stopped my hand just in time. She was blaming my THERAPIST for my delusions and bizarre behavior, not even listening to what she was saying. My Mom just wanted to believe what she WANTED to believe – that her daughter was NOT mentally ill, and didn’t NEED a therapist. I don’t think my Mom EVER met my therapist; her loss.

But that was just ONE example of a supporter blaming ANYONE else for their loved one’s behavior. My Mom had seen me through two full-blown manic episodes and hospitalizations, and here I was in the middle of another one. To say my Mom never believed in manic depression is to give her too much credit. To this day, I don’t know what she thought was happening to me in a manic episode. Being diagnosed with pernicious anemia in the State Mental Hospital in 1971, she must have thought that all my problems were PHYSICAL in nature.

This is NOT to say my Mom was a BAD supporter, just that she didn’t acknowledge that I had a mental illness. And, boy, did we have a LOT of verbal fights whenever I disagreed with her. She was fiesty for a “little old lady” and often called ME every name in the book. But – when the chips were down, and I was released from each hospitalization, she took me in, and cared for me in the only ways she knew how. She always treated me as if I were “normal,” at least in her opinion. She never “molly coddled” me in ANY way. She EXPECTED me to improve, and be stable.

To say you were right that a supporter WILL blame a psychiatric health staffer, is correct. They don’t want to think THEY have anything to do with their loved one’s behavior, so they look for someone, ANYONE, else to blame. I don’t know WHY this is – it just – is.

BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love them. Stay sane, and God bless you real good.

Thankyou Dave and Heather for responding to my comment. I really appreciate it. Roshan

sandy.
I’ve never been in your situation, but I can think of a ruse that just MIGHT work …
Has your sone run up any debts that he can’t pay off? If yes, there is what you might TRY:
Offer to pay off the debts if he will sign over to you temporary control of his finances. THAT would then give you leverage over “persuading” him to get medical help, like “I’ll give you $xx to spend IF you will keep an appointment with a pDoc.” Sneaky, I know – but then, so is BP and you just have to be sneakier than it!
Of course, I don’t have a clue if this will work. You know him and you’ll know if this approach has a chance of working. But it’s go to be worth a try, hasn’t it?

Hi David,just read yesterdays e-mail and actually felt good about it,why, because I, as a supporter of a child with bi-poler disease find myself at times being as suspicious as this guy that attacked you and your right it is a waste of time, but please understand that many of us have been led down a primrose path with fancy talk only to find our hopes dashed aginst the rocks of unfullfilled promises. The reason I have not bought your course is because of the incongruities that I find in your e-mails, we supporters are quick to spot what may be an untruth, you are asking us to spend a huge amount of money on your course, monie better spent elswhere if in fact it does not have the value you are asking for. Perhapse I am one of the few, but I don’t trust long winded advertisments like yours, they smack too much of the snake-oil salesmans pitch. The incongruities that bother me the most is the fact you are very long winded in your e-mails, in short you say little with much words. Also, on several occasions you have mentioned “years of experience” yet your style of language is of someone in their mid 20’s. In short I appriciate what you are trying to do and the few nuggets of information I recive from your e-mails, but honestly the afformentiond has made me suspicious of you as well. I hope this critisim is usefull to you as I think you are doing somthing that needs to be done please keep up the good work.

I am not a Psychiatrist or any type of medical professional but I have a lot of experience with others who have BPD and just read Les’ blog and it shows signs of BPD. I am wondering if you do indeed have have BPD Les?

As I sit and read the comments of the people that question your knowledge of bipolar disorder, whether your mother really had this. Why in the world would you want to help so many people. To me the effort that you put in writing your e-mails, have helped so much. So thankyou, before this I had nowhere to go. I live with a person that is bi-polar. It is so difficult to handle on a day to day basis. I am very grateful for a place to go to understand more about this disorder.
My husband is on medication and finally admits that he needs help. This alone is a stepping stone hopefully in the right direction. There are so many highs and lows with this disorder. You have helped me so much. Thankyou

The two main points highlighted, FOCUS and CHOOSE are the main ingredients for success. It is written “be careful what’s going on in your hart as this determines your whole life” also “as a man thinks, so is he”. One thing that we must realize is that we can CHOOSE which thoughts we want to entertain. We have to “on purpose” think good thoughts. We don’t have to entertain any thought that enters our minds which can cause us to go into the negative or things we don’t want. This is much easier said than done but the results would be life-changing. Whenever a negative thought enters your mind, focus on the list of what you DO want to switch your mind to the positive. I trust this will help someone as it definitely changed my attitude which goes a long way in supporting my loved one. I pray that GOD bless all who battle with BPD or supporting a loved one to help us in winning.