==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
Hey,
How’s it going? Hope you had a good day
yesterday.
I got a very interesting email from
someone who said to me:
“Dave, I swear that I am going crazy.
I have a loved one with bipolar disorder
and she acts really crazy. I seriously
had no idea whatt to do about it
until I found your sight…
Here is what she does that drives
me crazy. She says I am the one who
is sick. Everything that I tell her
she is doing, she tells me I am doing
and sometimes I start to think
she is right maybe. I don’t know. I
am so run down and my life is now a
wreck like hers. I need help.
I think I am going crazy
or maybe catching bipolar from her.”
–Jimmy
I have seen this condition when someone
who is a bipolar supporter actually winds up
feeling like they are “losing it” or possibly
even start acting like the person who is
not stable with bipolar disorder.
This is an interesting phenomenon that occurred
me with and my mom. When she was really, really
unstable I wound up like the following:
-Not sleeping
-Not eating
-Not shaving
-Rambling all the time
-Angry
-Snapping at people
-Losing tons of weight
-Disoriented
-Unable to make good decisions
-Not doing well in my day job
Now when you think about it, these are
some of the same characteristics
of someone who is in a bipolar episode.
So there I was, the bipolar supporter
who wound up acting like the person
who was unstable with the disorder.
I have seen so many situations where
the bipolar supporter winds up seeming
like they have caught bipolar disorder
from the person they are supporting.
The turning point for me to avoid this
feeling was when I decided to learn
everything I could about bipolar disorder
and start being proactive not reactive.
When I was proactive, I stopped arguing
with my mom and started to figure out
what she needed: the right medication,
a good doctor, a plan to pay off her de.bts,
a good therapist, a way to manage bipolar
disorder, etc.
If you got my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You can see that I have lived through it
all and have lots of practical solutions to
virtually all the problems that someone
with bipolar disorder may have, someone
who is supporting an adult with bipolar
disorder or someone who is support a teenager
or child with bipolar disorder.
The thing is, if you aren’t proactive and you
are reactive, you will wind up getting in a
situation where you start to manifest the behaviors
of a person who is NOT stable with bipolar disorder.
This is exactly what is going on with Jimmy
above. He thinks he is going crazy because
right now, his wife’s bipolar disorder is controlling
him. Her bipolar disorder does something and then
Jimmy reacts. So he winds up being led by bipolar
disorder. That might sound confusing but that’s the
situation that so many supporters find themselves
in.
If you feel this is happening to you, start to be
proactive. Get as much information as you can to
get a good doctor, therapist and a way to manage
either your own bipolar disorder or your loved
one’s depending on what your situation is.
If you don’t take action and be proactive,
you wind up second guessing yourself, thinking
you are going crazy, feeling like you have
bipolar disorder and ultimately being so
confused that you become paralyzed and unable
to do anything.
Make a list today of exactly what problems
you are having. Then go one by one and start
looking for solutions but don’t just sit
around and hope things get better because
they won’t. They will get worse and you
could in some cases be in a situation
where you feel like you are catching bipolar
disorder.
IMPORTANT NOTE
I want to say one thing. You can’t really catch
bipolar disorder. It is NOT a contiguous
disease.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Dear David,
I sincerely wish you get to read and reply my mail. I have a perculiar
problem. My brother who has been diagnosed as bipolar is of the opinion that
he is on a ‘special mission’ for God. Even when he got suicidal a couple a
days ago where he had made plans to jump out of the window in the hospital
where he had been taken to, he was still telling us that God was testing him
like he tested Abraham, that God wanted to know if he was willing to die for
God’s mission and that he wanted to prove to God that he was surely ready to
die. So for obvious reasons he refuses to take his medication saying that
the drugs make him drowsy and prevent him from doing God’s deeds.
The good news is that he was quite research oriented before this his second
episode and has agreed to read anything i can come up with that would show
him scientifically that what he had was more like a hallucination than any
order from God. Unfortunately have not been able to get anything that quite
addresses this issue and was hoping you could help. Pl
thanks
Yetunde
i am like that.
Dave,
I just want to tell you that you’ve helped me a lot to understand..that there is no hope for my beloved ..no future for us and no way to escape from this nightmare of the terrible,nasty bipolar.I left my boyfriend last night..i did my best fo r one year trying to help,to support,i’ve lost all my spendings,I was humiliated,he shouted on me,he disgraced me,he hits me..
I love him..but i can not stay there any more-i feel i am bibolar now myself..
I told you once-it’s not the same in Europe like in the USA-no way to find a good therapist…so little knoledge about this illness..
i am so exosted,so sad..Dave,I faled.
My computer is acting up, or maybe it’s the operator–but just wanted to let you know about you “ez-pass” in Texas they are called “toll tags”. I got a letter in the mail from TTA who issues them. I had 6 months of charges totalling $1,500.00. I knew this wasn’t right because I make sure when I go through the light is green. Long story short, you need to stay on top of this because I am sure when you are cited the charge will be more than $25 because the tack on everything imaginable. I have been doing better since I started reading your information. For all those people who contact you complaining, think about me, I sincerely bless you from the bottom of my heart for all your help. I am sure I will be able to lick this I call it a DEMON. Because of the damage it does to a persons life. Your friend in Big D brendagail
Hi David;
My 32 year old is Bi-Polar. I am going to be 67 next month. I do not feel that I can continue supporting her. I have found a physician w/a team support. Her first appt. is next week. But if they do not get her back on her meds so she can again be her self, working/ moving forward w/her life, I can neither physically, mentally, or emotionally continue this. My mother was undiagnosed/unmedicated I barely survived to become an adult. (Severe abuse) I survived her, I’m not sure I will survive this one. I work full time. I want to retire. I want to live by myself w/o wondering who the other person who lives in my house is today, cause each day she’s different, what fun. Yes, I have your course, I have been reading your e-mails for 3 years. Yes they help, no I’m not angry. I’m exhausted. Mentally, Emotionally drained. I’m no longer young enough to deal w/ this. I’m hoping and praying that this new doctor/team will get her to the point that she will finally move out, and get a life.
hi dave..i really appreciate you sending me this stuff, my doctor diagnosed me with bipolar 2. but did not put me on meds or anything. I have been sharing what you are sending me with my husband because the little i know about this illness, i have been telling him apparantly these things that i have been doing is part of my illness, but i dont think he really believes me, so now with what you are sharing with me..it confirms what i have been saying.
thank you so much..you are an angel.
Dawna.
Hi David,
I have found the information that you posted very helpful although as you said each case is different. Bipolar is like a personality type and no person is ever the same. Thus is hard to talk to a proffesional about it because they know the general case of bipolar.
My boyfriend has bipolar and he knows he has it. He is very dedicated to taking his meds on a regular bases. When he misses a dose (by accident) he is very worried. He knows everything about his disorder and he learned to accept it. Sometimes he feels like this condition has made him a better person because he saw the pain and now he feels for other people who are suffering. He is very sympathetic to everyone. He is also comfortable joking about his condition. It kind of comes natural to him to have bipolar. That is how I learned to accept him as well.
Lately he had some problem, he was very manic and was in the hspital. When he got out he realized how low in his life he came to. He became very strongly determined to make something of his life. He stopped doing all the things that make him sick. He was “normal”. he applied for a volunteer position, started looking for a job, he even proposed to me, promising that his life is only going to be good from now on, although he knew that in a few years the condition will play with him a little again but he will fight it. He is going to have job and me and a life … so whenever mania or depression catch up with him he will have something to think about… he could not let everthing in his life be destroyed again. He seemed very happy.. no sign of depression or mania. I talk to him everyday and I always notice when he speaks of “wierd” things. But not lately … lately he was very healthy. Couple of days ago he was taken to emergency… took to many clonazepams!!!! Why, everything was going so well. What made him SO … I don’t want to say stupid but…
I really want to make this relationship work but now I am the most scared when he is happy and full of life. So am I to always be scared?!?!? How do I truly know when things are OK? Are they ever?
He says he wasn’t trying to kill himself, he was just bored and wanted to sleep a bit (clonazepam). He wants to have fun in life and he reads a lot about Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain. He thinks that nothing can happen to him. He wants to try everything in his life.. see his limits.
I know he is young and rebellious a little bit but he is not invincible.
Well I hope you can make something out of this!
Thanks a lot
Buba
Dear David,
I am supporting my 23 year old son who has Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, and neurophibromatosis. At times I feel like I have Bipolar Disorder. My daughter has even told me that she thinks that I have Bipolar Disorder. I don’t like feeling like this. Once I change jobs maybe I will have time to really study over your ideas to help with Bipolar Disorder.
Janet
I understand why/how “yeto’s” brother feels. When I am in a manic episode, I feel VERY close to God, as if I were Jesus in a woman’s body. Although I have not been in the “tested” mode, I have done foolish things that I wish I hadn’t done. This Messianic complex is common in those with bipolar disorder. Though in the movie, “The Blues Brothers,” they mention that “they are on a mission from God,” to me, it wasn’t funny…
I am a VERY different person in a mania. I exhibit “contradictions,” which is what the psychiatrists were trying to help me realize. Although I had the delusion that I was Jesus, I slept around with abandon, and did a LOT of non-Christ-like things. I felt, at the time, that I was “spreading God’s love.” Now, we all know, that God wouldn’t want me screwing around with just anybody for the thrill of it. AND, it was unprotected sex, as well. That is why, when I was finally in the State Mental Hospital, I had the delusion that I was pregnant, because my 78-lb body was exhibiting an abdominal bulge from malnutrition. I honestly BELIEVED I was pregnant and about to have the baby any minute. Though why the DRs and nurses went along with this, I will never understand. But this was 1970, and they didn’t know much about bipolar at that time.
I have been hospitalized 3 times for mania, and all 3 times have had the same delusion. When I am “normal,” outside of an episode, although I am a good Christian, I don’t identify WITH Christ. There is NO solution but to get your sufferer into a hospital STAT when they have this delusion, because ONLY meds and therapy can help in this condition. DON’T try to “wait it out” and hope it will go away; it won’t, not without professional help. And as you noted, even IN a hospital, your brother attempted suicide because he was being “tested by God.” Thank Heaven he was in a place where they could help him.
“czj” I feel your pain, but you have NOT failed. Your beloved has an illness that is life-long and terminal. He will die with it. You cannot control his behavior because he IS bipolar, and will constantly be in a state of flux, up one minute, and down the next. All his promises CANNOT be kept, because even HE does not know when the cycles will come. You HAVE done the best you could – you LOVED him, and I’m sure he looks back and sees how GOOD you were to him. Treasure the good times – and “let go, and let God.”
BIG HUGS to all. May God’s love bring you peace…
david,
I need some advice my lost her insurance. We can`t afford to pay for theropy. I need to get her back in it cause she is having problem with her family fighting all the time and her getting the blunt of the blame even if she ain`t there. she does great as long as she takes her meds. and your daily e-mails have helped a whole bunch
I just don`t know where to go to get help
Chuck
Dave, you are so right about the need for supporters to be proactive, but bipolars MUST be prepared to do this too—ie becoming aware and honest about their (our) triggers, however trivial they may seem to others. For me just the tone of certain people’s voices can set me off (possibly because I was bullied at school, I don’t know), so I have to avoid such people!
Dear Suzannewa,
With tears in my eyes I just want to say THANK YOU for the good words to me..
I feel so miserable,so unhappy,so bad..I feel like I betrayed the biggest LOVE in my life.But I sumply can not go on any more..I am 42 years old ,he is 36…,but I feel like Cherune..she is 67,who’s daughter is ill.I am exosted and depressed and may be also bipolar..I am tired and I feel no energy for anything.
Hope God will help him..and me to forget soon..
czj
HELLO DAVID, MY NAME IS PAULA IM 45 YRS. OLD AND MY BOYFRIEND MIKE HAS BIPOLOR AND SCITSOPHANIA AND ITS REALLY HARD TO DEAL WITH IT. DO YOU HAVEANY SUGGESTIONS? HE TAKES HIS MEDS BUT HES DEMANDING PUSHY AND I CANT TAKE THE CONTROLING BIT. WHAT DO I DO? PLEASE HELP!! LOVE PAULA.
O.K. Folks, I too wish to post some thoughts. Yes, I feel as though I’m losing my sanity…I keep searching for answers and get a little crumb here and there, not nearly enough at once to help my situation.I’ve been in this relationship for 1 1/2 years now, and as time passes it gets more confusing, more enlightening. We are both in our 40’s and too mature to deal with the drama. Over & over I have thought about leaving, simpiler solution for day to day life, but tough on the heart. This man is mean most of the time, constantly complains about everything, can get violent at the tiniest things, is selfish, never seems to think about my needs, desires..hates everybody and displays that most of the time in his behavior, can say really mean things like, “your grand-daughter (who is 5) is insane!”…she’s not, she’s just a kid…He has a hard time talking and trying to work issues out, he’s paranoid, OCD…checks his locks on his vehicle a million times…is possesive with his personal items, for example, we are not allowed near his car, yet he uses mine at his will…when we stayed with him at his home, (grand-daughter & I)..he would not allow us to live comfortably, he would follow us picking up tiny crumbs of whatever, re-wipe the shower after I already did..we had to sit very still, not touching anything or disrupting anything…and I have to say I’m a bit of a neat freak, so his behavior to me seemed unwarranted. Yet with my things he can be destructive, he’s broken many things here at my home in his rages. He’s told me that were he to marry me, he might have to kill me….now that one I just took in trying to sort out what would make one say such a thing, and never asked for an explanation…He’ll leave a disappear at the drop of a hat with no contact nor regard for me if I’m ok or not….he’s a mess…I remember being at his folk’s home once, and the kids were all playing, he was teasing and picking on my grand-daughter, and when she would cry and whine, he’d do it more, then complain that she was a brat….his family and I all said something about it, to let her alone and allow her to play with the kids…he disappeared went to hide while everyone sat for dinner, and it was for his birthday…I barely knew his family and felt out of sorts…yet within all this, I love him…I care about him…I would like to spend the rest of my days with him…so I keep plodding along trying to sort it out, and find a resolution. I do know that I too am tired, I feel neglected…ingnored…unimportant…friends tell me that he’s brought me down, and that he will continue to do so…I’ve talked to him about all this, he knows he’s the way he is…yet does not feel it’s something that he needs help with, or that he can find help…it makes me depressed…trying to keep making this relationship work…not sure I’ll be able to hang in there either, yet I don’t want to leave…A MESS! He believes his life is perfect, perfect family, daughter, home, etc…and that mine is a mess….mines not perfect, never will be….but pretty normal….I do have a 23 yr. old daughter whom I believe also is bipolar, she gets so violent….so is that one main symptom of this disease? meaness, violence? Another thing I sense in all this, he is very secretive, no one needs to know about his income…his daughter…his past…he shares tiny little bits of anything that is him…he even keeps all his stuff in his car, and he’s lived with me for over a year. All he has in here is his clothes at night when he sleeps, one would ever know he lives here.
What will I do? First I just want some clarity in all this…purchasing the programs here, would love too, but in a bad way $$$ wise now….
Keep posting your comments folks…I know it helps me, I get a crumb of info here and there, to put this puzzle all together….and I’ll keep commenting as well….hang in there…
I think people even doctors miss
dignois, maybe it runs in the family or it usually hits in your
thirty’s.My family was from Poland
they were very quite, depressed looking, wouldn’t talk, What a sin.
My father was the same, long periods of silience. Everything was a secret. All family was born at home on dining table, no doctors. betty
Dave,
I am in need of some serious advice. I was diagnosed about 2 years ago with bi-polar disorder. Before that I thought I was crazy. I still have mania and depression but I am able to handle it now. My concern lies with my brother who was recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. He has ended up in jail on many occasions for beating people up badly(which he has done before the diagnosis). Now he uses his bi-polar to excuse this behavior. He moves very often to different states and only takes his medication for a month at a time and then stops and uses the excuse it is too expensive. He I am afraid he is going to end up in prison or dead because he will start a fight with almost anyone who even looks the wrong way. The truth is I am afraid of him but I love him and would like to help but in my heart I wonder if all this aggression is bi-polar. Sometimes he is just fine and then BAM it hits all of a sudden and he attacks. What can I do without putting myself in danger of him? I am afraid he could kill someone and I have had to put a restraining order on him in the past. HELP! HELP! Is he doomed?