Hi,
I hope you’re having a great holiday season.
If you celebrate Christmas all done shopping?
Shockingly, I haven’t even started. I have been working so hard on so many things, I haven’t had time. I am going tomorrow.
Nothing like waiting until the last second, huh : )
I want to ask you a question:
What do you think is the greatest Christmas gift you could get for your loved one with bipolar disorder this year?
Take a guess, then scroll down for the answer.
Scroll down …
Keep scrolling…
No cheating!!!
Think you know what it is?
Keep scrolling to find out…
Ok, I’ll give you a hint.
The greatest Christmas gift you could get for your loved one this year is not something you can buy in a store.
Think you know now?
Then scroll down one more time…
Ok, I’ll tell you.
The greatest Christmas gift you could get for your loved one this year is the gift of being a good supporter to them.
It’s the gift of your love and understanding.
See? That’s something that, as the commercial says, is “priceless.”
Only you can do that for them.
And that means being a good supporter.
How can you do that?
If you’re a good supporter, you help your loved one manage their disorder.
You don’t let them skip their medication just because they’re “sick of taking it.”
You don’t let them stop seeing their doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist just because they “don’t feel like going.”
You don’t enable them when they can do those things perfect fine all by themselves. In other words, you are not their caretaker, mother, or babysitter, and you’re not afraid to tell them so.
You set boundaries, and you’re not afraid to stick to them.
You make them pay consequences to their actions from what they do when they’re in a bipolar episode.
And even though all these things sound so harsh and like negative things, they are all very important.
I go over all these things in my courses/systems, because they are all things that make up a good supporter.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You do all these things because you ARE a good supporter.
You do all these things because you know they are important to your loved one’s stability.
You do all these things because you want to help your loved one manage their bipolar disorder.
You do all these things because you LOVE your loved one.
Because you UNDERSTAND them. And that is your gift to them.
The gift of love and understanding.
A gift that no money could buy.
A gift that no one else could give them.
So remember that this Christmas.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
My son is bipolar. He was diagnosed when he was 17. He is 5’10” – 280lbs and very, very strong. My wife is 5’2″ and 130 lbs and my daughter is even smaller. My son is 19 and refuses therapy or meds. He is violent, does not shower or shave and he is self serving.
I work two nights a week. I try to explain consequences to him about his actions. He will not get a job, will not go to school even though it is free for him (I work at the college).
He just wants to hang out with his friends and make music in the basement. I have tried to motivate him and explain the consequences of his actions. When I do he tells me I’m threatening him. I tell him if he does not go back to therapy or take his medications he will have to leave our home. The problem is he has a friend who is involved in dubious affairs and says he’ll just live with him. I do not know what to do. I do not want him to become a criminal but we can’t live like this anymore.
Your suggestion truly is the most wonderful Christmas gift to a loved one with BPD.
Merry Christmas to you!
Roxy
Most people don’t understand or know how to love a person that is bipolar.
Thanks for your understanding. Joann
I’d to wish all a very Happy Christmas and peaceful New Year, I’ve learnt more from this site in the last 2months than I’ve from doctors in 2years.
Thank You All And God Bless. Amanda.
David,
You are awesome!
I’m a supporter who at the present time is not being allowed to do those things you mentioned in today’s email. It of course breaks my heart.
Just knowing I’m at least on the right track helps and I have your supporter’s manual.
Merry Christmas to you and your family
this is this the most priceless gift you can ever give
Thanks a lot for this message, I really needed it!
To all the best gift not just for the bi-polar is the love and understanding we can provide. My heart breaks when I read someone who has a bi-polar and feels helpless. I am ADHD so I can relate to the frustration of a person who wants me to do something and I just won’t. I on the other hand have gone into counseling and take my medication. You being a loving father Patrick must unfortunately allow him to make the mistake and be there to help when he does. If he is allowed to continue to contribute nothing to your home is allowing him not be what he has the potential to be. At least if he does get introuble the courts will tell him he has to get treatment or go to jail Hard Yes ; we want to protect our kids ; Sometimes be tuff stinks
Well, you got my vote for “Human Being of the Year”.
Not many “qualify”.
Your countless hours of support have been beyond measure…
Thanks for helping me as a supporter understand what Bipolar really is, really means, and how to help.
I am sure there “is” so much more you have to share.
I just wanted to say, “Thank you”.
Please don’t go away.
You’re worth more than a million.
Let’s hope some comes your way.
Although I’m sure it’s never been what your all about.
Thank you for all your info…you are my supporter. I have a 19 year old son who recently was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I thought we were finally on track with medications then he informs me he is no longer going to take his meds ! I see him changing right before my eyes. How do you “make” a 19 year old college student take his meds ?
Thanks for everything !
Merry Christmas to you and yours !
I have been very out of sorts for the last few months, my Son has been diagnosed with Bipolar and I feel so guilty because it came from me. I have been there from the start and will be there all the way. It has made me some what angry however towards him and I am so ashamed, I should never feel that way I should be understanding as for me being Bipolar also. It has flared up my Fibromyalgia and My Chronic Migraines are getting worse. To top it off also my husband and I are getting a divorce and he has moved to Ontario to be with his family where he was caught sleeping with his brothers wife. He now lives with her and her 3 childern, his 2 nieces and a nephew, his family has disowned him and after 12 yrs of marriage my heart is broke. He told me he should have left a long time ago and all his freinds could not understand how he put up with being sick all time. My Mother and I now live in a trailer park for people 35 and older, we are hardly making enough money to keep up. We are so in debt and my disability only pays $ 485.65 a month. My Mother gets maybe $ 2000,00. The stress is killing me and it reflects on to her and then I worry about her, it was 2 yrs ago this yr that she had a 5-by pass. She worries over my Son who is 21 and is having a VERY hard time. I wish there was no Xmas this yr, The song about a BLUE BLUE Xmas is so true. I should be grateful I know but it is funny that last yr I realy did not miss my husband because we were so busy settling in, but this yr I miss him bad. I have tried to find a simple job but it just does not work, my Fibromyalgia hurts so bad then I get so down I cry all the time. I am at a loss. I love to hear from you and I hope you will continue to send more emails. I hope you have a good Xmas.
To RHONDA: I thought I had it bad until I read your post. How I WISH I could do SOMETHING to help you, but my finances, too, are almost nil. Unless I get a check from my biological mother this year, I may have to file for bankruptcy.
Just try to keep your head and chin up; you have been dealt a horrible deck of cards, here; I don’t think anyone else on this blog has it as bad as you do. Losing your husband and having a son with bipolar are about as horrible as they come. Having fibromyalgia is no “picnic,” either. I can’t begin to understand the physical and emotional pain you are going through this Holiday season, and you are in my thoughts and prayers that things will soon look up for you. Just try to remember the “reason for the season,” and pray. Sometimes, when one is hopeless and at the end of their rope, just getting down on their knees and giving it to God WILL help. I’ve done it – and miracles happen…
BIG HUGS to all bipolarl survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. May you ALL have a BLESSED
and VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS, and a HAPPY, HEALTHY and PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR. Anything would be better than 2008. I pray for my country.
DAVE and EVERYONE on this blog. Here’s wishing you a very happy Christmas, prosperity, health and happiness in the New Year!
Wishing everyone a beautiful, safe, spiritual, fun Holiday Season. I appreciate all the help I have received on this blog. You are all wonderful. Hope Santa is good to all of you. Thanks Dave for keeping this going, it is something everyone can learn from. You have held sted strong in your commitments to us. Merry Christmas and a prosperous year ahead.
When I get time these day to read you news letters, I enjoy what I read. So here’s wishing you a very Merry Christmas and an even better happy New Year for 2009. God bless
does anybody on the blog know about the effects of Chantix (stop smoking med) and its interaction with Celexa? My bf (who I suspect is BP) recently started taking it again to stop smoking on Xmas Day. He has been more cranky and irritable than usual. I’m wondering how Chantix might be a part of his mood. I know the reports say that people with mood disorders shouldn’t take it without Dr. recommendation. (He has some from a friend who quit and had some left over)
Any info you can share is appreciated. I will pray that he will go to the Dr. when his new insurance kicks in on Jan 1st. He’s so close to getting help, I don’t want to give up on him!
Patrick, supporters face many problems when dealing with a bipolar loved one. While I don’t have a family to consider (I am with a bipolar partner), I certainly empathize with the internal conflicts of being a parent and husband concerned for the well-being of your son, wife and daughter. Yet, there comes a time when we are faced with what is best overall; and what is best overall sometimes seems harsh, it appears to run opposite to the values that have defined our lives throughout the years.
You’ve indicate that your son is, at times, violent. While medication can reduce the occurrence of aversive or dangerous behavior, it is never certain that his violent tendencies will completely go away, at least not at this stage of his life. The irony connected to a portion of your son’s position (and behavior) is that it’s similar to the adolescent stage of rebellion: hanging with the wrong people, potentially risky behavior and substance abuse (very risky when taken on top of psychotropic medication), his lack of self-care and insight.
Understanding that bpd is not something wished for. A person does not intend for their lives to be about a regimen of toxic medications, effective therapy that is hard to come by for an individual and a lifestyle that can be viewed as a threat to what the individual wishes for their future, it becomes understandable that in his early stage of being an adult your son would prefer to avoid what he views as artificial limitations being placed on his life.
Most things considered, your decision concerning your family takes these issues and dilemmas into consideration. If you have the luxury of time dwell into bpd’s characteristics; go back on the stories of supporters and those suffering from bpd either here or at other forums (google: bipolar forums); if there are instructors at your college that have knowledge of mental health issues speak to them; do your best to weigh the options objectively.
Whatever your decision, it will not be an easy one. Many thoughts and emotions come into play and your son doesn’t help by resorting to emotional blackmail. Similar to your son being “forced” to manage his symptoms, you are faced with managing your home, and family life, in relation to the risk factors. Ultimately, your son may not be able to live at the family home, but this does not mean your roll as supporter would end. My best to you, your son and family.
What a wonderful letter. Support is truly the best gift one could rec’ve.
Thank you for everything you do.
i took my bi polar dad a little gift into hospital on christmas day-even though he has been horrid and vile to me and my family and it has been a struggle to get him into hospital, i forgot the negative stuff, took him a gift and gave him a big hug. Thank you for your postings David, you have given me insights into being a supporter…. thank you from the bottem of my heart. Merry christmas to one and all!! xxx