Doing this with bipolar disorder?


How are you doing today?

I hope you are doing well.

Hey I a running behind like normal but I had some stuff that I wanted to tell you.

I have to type this up super fast.

It’s so important and I see soooooooooooo many people supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder AND people in society making this huge mistake.

I have to tell you about this guy who wrote me a nasty message. He wrote me all about how I am a scam and a fraud. He even said that he was going to set up a website saying that I was a bad person. Then he said that his son has bipolar disorder.

NOTE-I know people are going to write “Dave, why do you always bring up when people write bad things to you? Do you need constant reassurance? Is there something wrong with you? Do you have low self esteem?”

Well for those wondering the answer really simple. I have to think of something to say every day. Not every other day or once a week or once a month but every day. So sometimes these nasty emails serve great starting point for a great topic. I hope you understand. But I know, I am still going to get people asking what I just wrote you.

Okay, let’s move on.

Now, first of all, let me tell you that I’ve gotten plenty of these types of emails before. If you have been on this list for a while, you’ve seen them : )

Second of all, let me assure you, as you may already know, because I may have helped you, that I am real, that I am not a scam, and that me, my website, my courses and materials, my company, and the people who work for me are by no means a fraud.

Now, if this guy wants to set up a website to say I’m a bad person, he’s going to have to have a lot of money, I know, because it takes a lot of money to run mine. And he’s going to pretty much be wasting his time, anyway.

I mean, I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt here, but he’s probably just really mad about something that probably doesn’t even have anything to do with me, he’s just taking it out on me, but come on, talking about setting up a whole website just to tell people I’m a bad person? He’s not really going to do that. He’s just frustrated and mad.

Why? He says so himself. He has a son with bipolar disorder.

So now I know why he’s so frustrated and angry. And why he’s taking it out on me.

In my courses/systems below, I talk about all the negative emotions/feelings that a supporter goes through living with a loved one who has bipolar disorder, and how to cope with them:







But this guy’s email made me think about how people who are supporters many times want to blame other people or things for the way they’re feeling, or focus on the wrong thing.

They want to get mad at their loved one.

They want to get mad at the system, or society.

They want to get mad at other people (like this man getting mad at me).

They want to get mad at a situation that causes their loved one to get stressed so that their loved one takes out their anger on them (the supporter).

They want to get mad at the politicians who cut funding for research into bipolar disorder.

And all of this is wasted time and energy for the supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder.

But do you know what the biggest waste of time and energy is?

When a supporter is doing all these things and they’re also NOT learning all they can about their loved one’s disorder and how they can help them get better.

THAT’S the biggest waste of time!

Complaining that they’re loved one isn’t getting better, when there’s something they can do about it!

I’m not saying that you’re always going to feel good about things. I’m not saying that it’s not ok that sometimes you’ll feel frustrated and angry yourself, like the guy in the email. It IS ok to feel those things.

But it’s still a waste of time to blame it on other people or things.

You have to direct your emotions/feelings/energy toward helping your loved one to get better and manage their bipolar disorder.

Anything else is just a waste of your time.

I was also reminded of this because I am sooooooooooo tired of people I know complaining about the stock market. I seriously have friends that sit and get angry at “the banks” ALL day. It’s a gigantic waste of time. These people should be focusing their energy else where.

Does this all make sense? I know people are going to write: “Dave you just don’t understand. It’s easy for you to say, your mom is doing great now.”

What do you think?



David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

  1. Hi Dave: Personally I am furious that 2 of my children have serious bipolar and my husband has paranoid schitzophrenia. The only person I can blame is NO One. Yes, sometimes I have to just walk away from all thier stuff, but I love then with all my heart. Once, I asked GOD “WHY?”
    The response was “WHY NOT?” Puts you in a different perspective when you get past the anger. Love ya, Dian

  2. No your help is not a waste of time. I have bipolar and I know my daughter does too! It helps me stay in check and me to help her and teach her to be able to help herself. So keep doin what ur doin and Ill keep listening and reading. Thank you for the opertunity to add in my 2 cents!

  3. Hi Dave,
    I don’t even go into the links where people have bad to say of you, you have done me 100 favours. All the way from Johannesburg South Africa I thank you for all the advise you give on a daily basis Monday to Sunday. Friday was a prime example on patients adjusting their own meds, GUILTY! You couldn’t have put it in a better light. Admittedly I don’t read your mails every day but usually go back to read days later. I have a new partener in my life, basically in the first week I have told him about the bipolar, he hasn’t run, we feel it is going to develop into something strong, I have considered giving him my meds to give me. Perhaps good perhaps bad I don’t know, but somehow feel that a safer option.
    Many thanks

  4. Dear Dave u don’t know me but I wanted u to know your. e mails help me cope and give me courage to make it through the bad stuff. Please ignore the nasty comments u should be proud of what u do I certainly do thanks four always listening your Friend bodie

  5. Dear Dave,

    You are right. This man is probably frustrated over events that have nothing to do with you. We should pray for him.

    Keep up the great emails – I look forward to them every day as I learn something every day.

    Many thanks,

  6. i think your so right,here you are trying to help people,and then you get this weirdo venting on you.i guess if he doesnt want the help dont read your message and dont take the help,but for the rest of us who need the,please david oliver keep wrighting.I read your messages and helpfull teenage son has bypoler(not sure i spelled that right)and its really hard to live with.even though hes 17 and next year going to be so scared to let him move out on his own.i men at 18 theres nothing i can do but i know its not going to turn out well.hess co imature for his age he DOESNT understand how important his meds are.he thinks when he maves out ha going to stop taking all his meds and hell be fine.(so far from the truth)i have been trying for years through are community mentel health to help him but hes in the same place hes was when he can i get him to move foward and learn his disablity.above all he needs to understand how important it is to take his meds.why is it that any person i know who truely has bypoler dont like taking there meds?is it the disorder?i also just wanted to tank you for what your doing.i cant afford anything else so your free articals are wonderfull.i feel like i dont have to deal with alone anymore.thank you agin and keep doing what your doing you are helping people and thats the most important thing.

  7. dear dave, ive got serious problems with my daughter , who has been diagonised with bi-polar and any input would be appreciated….im not one to blame someone who’s trying to help others cope…you go guy…thanks, donna

  8. Dave, Yes, you do make sense! Just remember that you are “fighting the good fight”, and there are those who will oppose. It’s always sad to see people who expend all their energy on the negative when it’s so futile! I think you and your program are GREAT!!! Keep up the fantastic work & the faith!

  9. There is no reason to blame any individual . Or be angry . But, I have been before. I blamed myself. I blamed my brothers girlfriend. I blamed the system. I blamed the doctors and all it did was hurt me. My brother shot himself 2 years ago. He did not leave a note , he did not give a reason, but he had lost nearly everyone and everything including his wife, job, his children were grown and angry with him. My parents loved him dearly but were beginning to be afraid of him. Which hurt them all. I loved him very dearly too. He was younger and the baby even tho he was almost 42 years old . There was just the 2 of us growing up. I was big sister. I didnt know what to do. He lived next door and he would come to me almost every and cry and talk and sometimes he would come in on top of the world and maybe be back 2 hours later and he would be so down it scared me. He finally was diagnosed bipolar and one month later he shot himself. God I thought we were all going to follow. I had been getting counseling for years and being treated for depression after he died I had what they called a manic episode, whatever that is. I lost 40 pounds, could not sleep or eat or even remember how to cook or write a check. I am taking lexapro and restoril and have some of my life back but, I could not do the everyday things without the support of my counselor , my husband and my kids. I dont know if I am bipolar. I really dont want to be diagnosed with that Im afraid of losing my son or something he is adopted and I am his grandmother. Years of dealing with his mother and her drug abuse have taken a huge toll on all of us. But, we are still getting up everyday and learning to ask for help . I am just afraid of the same reaction people had towards my brother when he was going through what he did and I hide

  10. Hi, Dave! Good one!

    I’ve been feeling alot of anger lately, especially at the “system” & the organization worker who is blaming me for my 13 yr old son’s problems of getting out of control. This all came to a head 5 or 6 weeks ago, when I had to call 911 to get him under control, & we ended up in the “system”. It led doctors to suspect that he has bi-polar (not just ADHD, depression, & anxiety, & on the wrong meds), & me to signing up for your emails, among other classes & things.

    I feel very justified in my frustration at the unavailability of appropriate help with our struggles. We’re good people in distress being treated like criminals. Where are the advocates to help us through this crisis? I think this anger is NOT a waste of time if I can channel it into making social change, & I know there has to be others already working on this.

    Can you help me find legal advocates for the “mentally ill”? Someone to educate the court on what is in the best interest of our son (ie living with his attentive parents & going to the school that keeps him interested & involved, while getting respite & educational/counseling services for his parents)…

    Thanks for all your moral support & helpful suggestions.


  11. Dave i just want to thank you for everything that you do to help those of us who have bipolar it really does make a difference. Those who think you are a fraud are very wrong if it wasn’t for what i have learned here i probally would have went of the deep end today when i got fired. I don’t know what happened i was joking with the big boss today and the next thing i know he was telling me to leave so i did. Normally i would have started screaming and having a fit but instead i kept my dignity and walked out with my head held hi i couldn’t have done that with out all the stuff i have learned here. So once again i want to say thank you very much.

  12. HI Dave, I want to first say that as soon as I am able to afford to order all your materials I will do so. Everything I have read so far in your e mails has struck true. I was recently divorced after being with a man for 13years who is bi polar. I have educated myself thru various NAMI programs and really consider myself to be educated on the topic. Your e mail blurbs really hit home in a very practical sense. I am now involved with a man whom I have known for many years and he a bi polar 20 year old son and I think “here I go again” His son refuses treatment and also has a serious addition problem. My knowledge is helpful and I appreciate your comments. I know exactly what you mean when you say that until you have lived thru being a supporter you really can’t get it. I am an attorney in New Jersey and if I can be of some assistance to you at some point, please let me know. Sincerely, Stacey Schlosser

  13. Hi,

    Something Dian said that is a real key to managing life in general. I have had a lot of problems, more than my share for sure. And I was always one to ask God, WHY??? The answer I got that helped me was “It doesn’t matter why, the only thing that matters is what you are going to do about it NOW!” I have had misery, so intense that I tried suicide twice, with every intent of succeeding. But then I found a good dr. and good psychologist, and my life got better. If I had given up, I would have missed out on the best years of my life. I was miserable for 39 years! I have had 4 pretty good ones and the last of those 4 years has been just great! Why was a hot topic on my mind before I got properly treated. But after my perspective changed, I realized that it doesn’t matter why bad things happen, even to good people. All that matters is what we can do, and what we do about these problems now! So I hope that helps someone. Short and sweet : )

    Love Ya’ll,

  14. from what i have seen you make since. i believe some people are frustrated with a situation and instead of working the problem they vent on the most convenent thing or person they can find. so basicly you are doing some good thank you

  15. Dave,

    I am fairly new at this, the one thing I can say…I knew it was SOMETHING! My fiance’ (whom should be my husband right now) is bi-polar. I’ve just recently started REALLY digging into any information I can get, but I wanted to say, you’re the guy I’ve been looking for! A REAL person with REAL experiences! I am going to continue my quest to shwarp this thing and get him well, thank you for ALL your efforts, it’s MUCH appreciated!

  16. Hey Dave
    I like most of what you write. I am a mom with a son, age 41. We both have Bi-polar disorder.
    Sometimes stuff gets very confusing and we have to put some distance between one another when one is in an episode. Life can be challenging.
    Oh, and I recently re-joined your group whatever it is called. I’ll look forward to being a bit more involved in the process. zzzi I do know quite a bit about the disorder. Janet

  17. Get a Blog. It’s FREE! You will save money & won’t be wasting the time of the gifted, US our time!

    Why are you so unorginised, and Dumb? I find it Cute!

    You PROVE DAILY to know nothing of BI-Polar. Same as a psychiatrist.

    You do NOT know your arse from your Elbow. It’s OK, for as far as I know you are still benign. Yes the stage where you make the Tits on the Bull look useful. Then they get more delusioned and Sadistic, (When they are released to “Practice.”) “power” crezed… Hungry,NEED more money, I am the GREATEST…” Yes condecending. Strange they have the combined Brain Power of a Cabbage, yet believe we are soooo stupid? Believe there shit dosn’t stink, and so on.

    They as the PROVEN PROBLEM with “mental health” especialy as it is PROVEN how BAD they are for BP. There own “invented & manufactured” illness. They ALL need removal and treatment, treat them the same way as the pedifile should be treated, and others. Indefinite treatment.

    We will make the World wonderful again. The Money saved on there wages alone will end all Poverty & suffering Worldwide. For a start. Mental Health World wide will be improved dramaticaly. All with the caging of 1 type of Worthless organism. Money can do good things. Same as Power!

    You could learn all you “know” in under 5 Minutes, yes it is all boulderdash, what you FOOLS STATE!

    All you ever do is get in my Box then Whinge & Moan about nothing. Are you a mad Woman?

    Your constant harrassment, & complaining hurts me, and I do this. Then I am late for Work. Dosn’t matter what time I get there! You are a psychiatrist. Worse than useless. You ruin lives!

    You should publish all or my Letters to you, it will make you seem a little real. It will also show you are confident in what you are pushing. A product must pass scrutiny! It may get you a litle respect from somewhere. Lap Dog.

    If you wanted to help you would do it for free! AS I HAVE ALWAYS DONE! YOU SEE US AS AN EASY FEW MILLION $, THAT’S ALL$$$$

    The little bits of advice in that BP success stories thing I gave you, you can use them. I am not a meterial girl. As you are.

    You are as Greedy as the unmentionable organasm. you are, or want badly to be one. SAD BUT TRUE!

    All with BP are BORN SUCCESSFUL, then the Sickness Industry WITH GOV. FED TRILLION $ DRUG CARTELLS & BACKING RUINS our Lives & Families.

    Is it Jealousy? Why am I far worse than EVER before my first visit to the Psych? Why am I worse on the “Antipsychotic medication?” WHY WHY WHY?





    Good to see though you have stopped the old Rant: “Take your “Medicine”, see youre’ Dr.” Is this on MY advice? Yes if your Customer likes you, you will be able to sell him much more garbage.

    Have you realised they are the DISEASE? YES BUD THAT’S THE FACT.

    IT IS ALL A VERY LUCURITIVE SCAM FOR THE Dr.s AND FOLK LIKE YOU. The Dr. can cause the necessary Brain damage via there Drugs to cause symptoms, then they sit there ind reap the Ca$h. Being very Greedy organisms, they keep on destroying more lives & families. It is there ONLY Sworn Duity! Here they do it for the Government. Who do they serve appart from there egos in the States?

    Dr. Phill Is he Mr. Garrison? Always knew he was a fool, is the accent real? Is it Hayseed or Redneak? Perhaps it is faked so as to get “closer” to the victium.

    He’s still giving “Relationship advice” yet his Wife maybe his 8th has Kicked the scum to the Curb. He is Delusional at best ohhhkayyy. It is a trait of the Psyc, Counciller….. ALL WORTHLESS.

    ALL ARE Legends in there OWN MINDS!

    They are ALL so Worthless yet there Condecending? Yes the Scum of the Earth are Delusional at best. There favourite word is Delusional. Mine is Inept.

    I have NEVER been Delusional, yet had I the Choice I would prefer to be Delusional than Inept as the Gov. And “medical” trade.

    Must go my Girlfriend is awake. I may not go to work this afternoon.
    No Photo yet?

  18. When I read this e-mail I wondered why you was putting that mans comments on there. I noticed that what you was saying could possible put supporters down. You kept saying how they are probably angry at everything and how its a waste of time and instead they should be helping their loved ones get better. I dont think this is right, because the person is angry it doesnt mean that they are not supporting their loved one or trying to help them. They cant help feeling angry and they probably know that them feeling that way is a waste of time so I dont think it helps you mentioning it and making them feel bad.

    I know this wasnt how you meant it to sound but I just thought Id write to you to tell you that it could be misinturbreted to sound that way.

    (p.s could you give information on the nature of Bipolar disorder)

  19. For suzanne: I read your comment from a couple of days ago and I wanted to let you know that you do have one supporter, me. I do not know you, but I do read the comments you leave and I Pray for you daily. So please do know that when you are having a bad day there is someone Praying for you and Someone even Greater than all humans put together who loves you!! No I am not a religious fanatic, but I do believe in the power of of Prayer!

  20. Hi dave i am a mother of 4 and my oldest is 14 and has bipolar, my other kids are 1and 3, and 5 i have my hands full as you can see. I live in the state of texas and i noticed my daughter had a problem since she was about 5 years old. I took her to the doctor and they dignosed her with ADHD, then down the line when medication was not helping they added to the dignosis of depression, then changed her medication around for years. Well in the state of texas they refuse or its a law not to label a child with an illness till they turn 18 real dumb right! because I have been struggling with this for a while as you can see. Well finally about 4 months ago they finally gave her the dignosis but they still can’t give her the right medication, they changed her medication about 2 weeks ago she was on geodon and vynese i think that how they are spelled and took off the geodon and gave her something else. Welll its been hellll they new medication takes 30 days to kick in and she is out of control. I am of very low income and i wish i could afford your help. I am so confused and scared she doesn’t have the right help.

  21. Hi Dave,
    I don’t understand why people can be so insensible. What you are doing is great for all of us suffering from BPd. You have given us great advise and it’s been very helpful. People do get angry because they cannot cope as supporters of those with BPd. You always get critism from all sorts and they are not excluded on your programme. Please do not let them intervene as it can cause negative aspects to those who do find interest in your programme. Maybe he has a problem and do not want to admit it, why should he be so angry with you and the doctors and why does he sound so negative it’s like he don’t even believe in himself. But enough of him we should not let negative feedback puts us down, but rather learn from it. I know it is difficult for all sufferers to deal with our situation and then you still get those who refuse to take their med. That is the most dangerous thing to do. This is when they get suicidal or have to be hospitalised. Please I pray for all of us that we make it bearable for the supporters to remain positive and to always take our meds as prescribe. Excercise the programmes and advise that Dave provide and we can all become easier to live with. Thank you Dave. I wish I can order some of your materials but at the moment my husband is also not working. Thank you

  22. Dave,
    You do a wonderful job. I have 3 with bi-polar who refuse to be diagnosed
    and your information helps me to carry on and keep positive
    thanks so much

  23. i have enjoyed this web . i have my ups and downs but now staying up as the new job i have is great. we are almost out of debt. cut up the credit card since charlie hit fl and sold our house rightt after. i send to family and friends keep the good stuff coming.

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