How are you doing today?
I hope you are doing well.
Hey I a running behind like normal but I had some stuff that I wanted to tell you.
I have to type this up super fast.
It’s so important and I see soooooooooooo many people supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder AND people in society making this huge mistake.
I have to tell you about this guy who wrote me a nasty message. He wrote me all about how I am a scam and a fraud. He even said that he was going to set up a website saying that I was a bad person. Then he said that his son has bipolar disorder.
NOTE-I know people are going to write “Dave, why do you always bring up when people write bad things to you? Do you need constant reassurance? Is there something wrong with you? Do you have low self esteem?”
Well for those wondering the answer really simple. I have to think of something to say every day. Not every other day or once a week or once a month but every day. So sometimes these nasty emails serve great starting point for a great topic. I hope you understand. But I know, I am still going to get people asking what I just wrote you.
Okay, let’s move on.
Now, first of all, let me tell you that I’ve gotten plenty of these types of emails before. If you have been on this list for a while, you’ve seen them : )
Second of all, let me assure you, as you may already know, because I may have helped you, that I am real, that I am not a scam, and that me, my website, my courses and materials, my company, and the people who work for me are by no means a fraud.
Now, if this guy wants to set up a website to say I’m a bad person, he’s going to have to have a lot of money, I know, because it takes a lot of money to run mine. And he’s going to pretty much be wasting his time, anyway.
I mean, I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt here, but he’s probably just really mad about something that probably doesn’t even have anything to do with me, he’s just taking it out on me, but come on, talking about setting up a whole website just to tell people I’m a bad person? He’s not really going to do that. He’s just frustrated and mad.
Why? He says so himself. He has a son with bipolar disorder.
So now I know why he’s so frustrated and angry. And why he’s taking it out on me.
In my courses/systems below, I talk about all the negative emotions/feelings that a supporter goes through living with a loved one who has bipolar disorder, and how to cope with them:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
But this guy’s email made me think about how people who are supporters many times want to blame other people or things for the way they’re feeling, or focus on the wrong thing.
They want to get mad at their loved one.
They want to get mad at the system, or society.
They want to get mad at other people (like this man getting mad at me).
They want to get mad at a situation that causes their loved one to get stressed so that their loved one takes out their anger on them (the supporter).
They want to get mad at the politicians who cut funding for research into bipolar disorder.
And all of this is wasted time and energy for the supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder.
But do you know what the biggest waste of time and energy is?
When a supporter is doing all these things and they’re also NOT learning all they can about their loved one’s disorder and how they can help them get better.
THAT’S the biggest waste of time!
Complaining that they’re loved one isn’t getting better, when there’s something they can do about it!
I’m not saying that you’re always going to feel good about things. I’m not saying that it’s not ok that sometimes you’ll feel frustrated and angry yourself, like the guy in the email. It IS ok to feel those things.
But it’s still a waste of time to blame it on other people or things.
You have to direct your emotions/feelings/energy toward helping your loved one to get better and manage their bipolar disorder.
Anything else is just a waste of your time.
I was also reminded of this because I am sooooooooooo tired of people I know complaining about the stock market. I seriously have friends that sit and get angry at “the banks” ALL day. It’s a gigantic waste of time. These people should be focusing their energy else where.
Does this all make sense? I know people are going to write: “Dave you just don’t understand. It’s easy for you to say, your mom is doing great now.”
What do you think?
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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.