Hi,
How’s it going? I am dead tired for moving. I
sure would do a lot of things differently
if I had to do it all over again. But, this
isn’t about my sad moving story, I want
to share something that’s really important
that I thinking about in reference to my
mom.
I got a call from my Aunt. Well first
let me say that my mom and dad are in Texas
visiting family. Before I get started,
let me say, about a month ago I had
written a daily bipolar disorder email
that my mom was going to Texas.
I had also indicated that I had found
that after my mom generally went to
Texas, history showed she would go
into some kind of episode. I don’t
remember all the times but this is according
to my dad.
With the big episode that described
on the sites the offer my courses:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I have a long story that talks about how
I learned all this stuff related to bipolar disorder.
Well after my mom got back from Texas one time
she then ramped up into the mother of all
manic episodes. That’s when my dad asked me
to help and at the time I had ZERO and I
mean ZERO knowledge of bipolar disorder.
I didn’t even know that my mom had it.
It was something nobody in the family ever
talked about.
Anyway this huge episode started after Texas.
I do remember being younger and other episodes
which when I was younger it was called “mom’s
is sick” started after Texas.
HANG IN THERE PLEASE
Please hang in there because I have an important
point to make but I have to explain the background
first.
Okay so if you have my bipolar supporter course/system
you know how I am really into planning and predicting
things with bipolar disorder. I feel that you have
to hope for the best and plan for the worst. Some
people hope for the best and plan for the best case
scenario. That’s bad news with bipolar disorder.
So in the PAST (historically speaking)
this is what I have seen to summarize:
-My mom goes to Texas
-She does really well in Texas. Everyone thinks she
is doing just great. She is very talkative, happy
and gets along with everyone
-She gets back and then starts doing lots and lots
of cleaning and yard work
-Slowly she starts doing erratic things but it’s
hard to see them unless you really look carefully
and think about it.
-She starts calling people a lot. For no
good reasons.
-She starts to go into an episode
-It gets worse and worse and worse and eventually
my mom has to go to the hospital
This is the pattern that happened the last time
she went to Texas. This is the pattern the time
before the last she went to Texas. I can remember
this happening when I was around 16 or so when
she went to Texas. My dad tells me there were
other times this exact pattern happened.
Now also in the old days here’s what was
done when the bipolar disorder signs
were sign:
-My dad did nothing. He just allowed my mom
to get worse and worse with her bipolar disorder
episode.
-The doctor was not informed with the situation with my mom.
Nobody knew the doctor. Nobody knew how to call the doctor
or what to say. There was little to no understanding
of how the doctor could really help.
-There was no therapist, so he/she was not contacted
-I did nothing (half the time I was just a kid
or in college…not that I am making excuses for
myself)
-My brother did nothing
-My mom’s mom or my grandmother would send my mom
money for my mom’s bills she couldn’t pay
-She would lose her job eventually
-My dad would struggle for months trying
to get my mom into the hospital and when I was
younger not tell me exactly why she was going into
the hospital. It was understood it was just something
that happened but there was no specific reason ever
given. I remember this as a kid even when I was
older than 18 I never knew the reasons. I guess
I could have asked but just never wanted to.
So let’s fast forward. So my mom’s in Texas now.
I am also moving. And I am moving further away from
my parents so it’s harder for me to come over. Plus
I have many business trips coming and I will not
even be in the state. My mom knows this and you
can tell that it bothers her.
So my aunt calls me and leaves a message that instead
of my mom coming back to New Jersey on Sunday
she is coming back early. She is suppose to be
back today Thursday. She told my aunt it was
because she had lots of yard work.
My aunt indicated that my mom looked great, was
really upbeat and got along with everyone
and was really friendly.
BUT, since my aunt has my bipolar disorder course
she knew that historically speaking everything
with my mom is a bad sign. My mom’s bipolar
disorder pattern indicates these may be signs
of an episode.
To the outsider, my mom would be doing great
and there is nothing to worry about. I haven’t
spoken to my dad but I am 98% sure that he would
say “Your mother is doing great. It looks like
we avoided an bipolar disorder problems.”
My dad struggles to understand the signs to
look for. I think he just doesn’t want to see
them ever.
Anyway, the bottom line is, with bipolar disorder
many times it’s hard to see the signs. I can
see them because I use worksheets and it’s in
my head. I have thought about it a TON and I know
what to look for.
If you are a bipolar disorder supporter, you have
to learn how to look back in history, figure out
what leads up to episodes. What were the old signs
and then look for them in the future.
Then have a plan as to what to do if an episode
starts to occur. I go over how to handle
this in my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Well I have to continue finish moving so I have
to take off. Have a great day.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
I read your email today. You say your mom startd out doing yard work when she got back and then she got worse and worse. I am really wanting to know what worse and worse was. What did she do when she was getting worse and worse?
Sandy
david bless you for your wisdom
on this subject. it sounds like you are super busy! i pray a hedge of protection around you and that angels will help you.
and i prayed for your mom and all the moms who have this condition. the mind is a very strong force and the words and diet we nourish it with really make a difference in daily living.
i pray wods of encouragement for you and that you will trust that in gods time he will show your mom his healing power. My mom has a healing testiony and the things that happened to draw our family closer were nightmarish but we made it with God’s Grace.
have a blessed day David and thank you for sharing.
my friend goes off every time he goes to visit relitaves and his fathers grave in florada.they go average twice a year tlst two trips police had to be called.first time he got upset over a cup of coffee and broke all the windows in his moms house so she had the police take him to the stress unit.last time didnt wate until they got home,he got out of the car on a busy intrestate and took off running down the road in 4 lanes of heavy traffic so his mom called the police and they cought up with him 4 miles down the road in about 15 minutes from time she called.we never knew he could run so fast i assume it was becouse he was angry.
Dave,
Your dad and brother are right how they act.
It is a long time to get abused by your mom.
Who can blame them?
Your mom knows when something is going to happen..and she just sits back and watches the damage unfole.
Sickening…their all sickening what they do to their familys!!
June
you said you need the history….ive only known my bi-polar “boyfriend” for six 6 months. i dont really see it yet. he seems to have been in an episode or cycle for all of the six months. he was working at the same job for a year, hasd been in same career for 15. he moved…seemed natural needed more space was so very attentive madly in love then… gone. down for the count.. sleeping 12-24 hours a day. lost his job, drinking too much, not doing what he said he would do. its so irresponsible and disrespectful…is that really the disorder? we used to call it “being a jerk” just last nite tells me hes coming over….never shows, calls or returns call or answer his phone… its really hard to understand, it hurts. i know i have to set my boundaries and not accept his behavior…everyone says i should just stay away, get out before im really hurt….dont know what to do
What is getting worse or an episode? Violence, screaming, sleeping, appetite reduction, reclusion, etc?
I am leaving town for a few days and past history shows my son normally becoming distant with me prior to my leaving, not answering my calls when I am away, his reason is that if something happened to me and I never came home he did not feel he was emotionally attached when I left so it would be easier. this time he did not follow that pattern, would you call this a sign of an oncoming episode?
I understand Junes comment but I dont feel they can always control what happens and what they are doing is natural. the saddest part is when they refuse to seek or get medical help. It is impossible to force someone and I dont believe there are magic secrets to making them get help, especially an adult male.
I need to have the address that I
may send a check for the Master
Bipolar Supporter’s Course, Option #1. I do not have any credit cards. My son, is 30 years old and has been in and out
of jail since he was 19 and it wasn’t until last year’s incarceration and being put into a
6 month re-hab stay while in his
last 6 months of a sentence that he
was finally diagnosed with bipolar.
He was diagnosed as a child as ADD
with impulsivity, but my X said it
was too expensive to keep up with
his meds and therapy so he never
got properly diagnosed, let alone treated. My X left me and our 3
sons in 1995 and I have been left
to help our youngest son.
My X wants nothing to do with him
and that truly has hurt our son and
I know added to his many problems.
He is currently running from the law because he was placed on 7 year
probation after his release from jail this year in March 8. But
by April he had already gotten arrested for driving with a suspended license he nor I knew he
had. And he did not find out until
last Wednesday that he had violated
his parole and he ran out of the
probation office and is still running. Last Wednesday was also
the day he was finally going to see
a counselor and a psychiatrist for
his bipolar, but now he won’t go back because they will just arrest
him there.
Help me, I don’t know how to help
him. All the police are going to
do is put him back in jail and I
know that will never help him, but
make things worst for him.
PLEASE HELP ME HELP MY SON!!!
ANGIE
To Angie,
I read your post here about your Son and am praying for you, and I pray that Dave Oliver will see it and that you will be able to get the help that you need for both your son and yourself… in the meantime I encourage you to fall on your knees and ask God for his help. He hears the cries of the broken hearted, and his ears are open to their distress. God bless you,
Margie
David: I recently went through my son’s first manic phycotic episode in Oct. of 06 and he was diagnosed with BiPolar I with mania. Oh the stories I have but we as a family dug our heals in and with the help of a great doctor using hormone therapy stabilized him and he is back to work doing well. Have you had your moms hormones checked or know anything about this type of therapy. I’d love to swap information with you. My e-mail address is rplace2@verizon.net and would welcome any comments. God Bless, Terri
kevin Said.
Hi there just letting you know that david you are a god send, yes you have helped my friend so much.
In the beginning i took a chance and contacted you hoping i could help my friend, and mainly UNDERSTAND this thing called Bipolar.
Once again thank you very much, i look forward to your emails. kevin
God Bless you.
kevin Said.
Hi there just letting you know that david you are a god send, yes you have helped my friend so much.
In the beginning i took a chance and contacted you hoping i could help my friend, and mainly UNDERSTAND this thing called Bipolar.
Once again thank you very much, i look forward to your emails. kevin
God Bless you.
kevin Said
Hi david you are a god send, i first contacted your site hoping i could help my friend, and most of all , understand this BIPOLAR DISORDER.
You have been a great help,i look forward to your mail.
Thank you very much.
Kevin.
Dave,
Tell me, this Bipolar Disorder is it a sickness or a disease? I have heard much about this disorder but I am yet to arrive at a conclusion what it is all about.
From your mothers case, you are reffering to a particular habit of hers. Are you saying that habit is actually a disorder?
Please, clarify me because if this disorder is all about ones habit, then everybody is suffering from it.
This must be a universal human disorder. If this is the case, then who will treat who?
Thanks.
Charly
Just found your blog today. I am living with Bipolar Disorder II and will pass this link along to my significant other.
Thanks,
WJ
Dave, sometimes the one with bipolar disorder CAN “observe from without” when they are going from hypomanic into a full-blown mania. However, this is not always the case. I find being just “sub” manic can be such a “high,” better than any drug, and would LOVE to stay there. But eventually, really, really BAD things start to happen, along with the good, and I get bone scared. These are the times I sign myself into a hospital.
My second hospitalization started when I was doing WAY too much – acting in THE ODD COUPLE 50 miles away from where I worked and lived; working as a medical records transcriptionist; sleeping around. One day I went to work, and just “collapsed.” One of the doctors asked me, “Can you function?” I told him, “no,” and was transferred to the University psyche ward. I’m NEVER answering that question in the negative again!!!
One other hospitalization followed six years later, following the same triggers that got me in trouble before – overtaxing my physical body; working too hard; sleeping around. Since that time, I have TRIED to recognize the triggers, and haven’t even had a “hypomanic” symptom.
Sometimes, the bipolar herself can recognize the dangers in her life, and seek help. I have the staff at the local community health center staying on top of my every mood. Here’s hoping the “Supporters” don’t take matters into their own hands when a bipolar is convinced he can help himself.