Hi,
What’s new?
Last night I went to a restaurant and I
don’t think the food agreed with me. My
stomach hurt all night long.
I really have a lot of stomach problems. There
are tons of things that I can’t eat. I have
systematically tried to figure out what
was bad for me and what isn’t. My mom has
done the same thing.
My mom is 100% sure that certain foods
make her bipolar disorder worse. She has
figured out over the last years which ones
those are. You should do the same if you
have bipolar disorder.
Okay let me get moving on today’s topic.
I have to take off kind of early
this morning so I have to make this quick.
I wanted to write you today about a simple
concept called anticipation.
It’s a concept that many people simply don’t
seem to get with bipolar disorder but it’s
so important.
When you are coping and dealing with bipolar
disorder whether you have it or you are
supporting someone with it, you must
use this concept all the time
You really have to anticipate things that
can go wrong and have a plan when and/if
this happens.
So many people never do this. I am
not sure why.
One of the biggest things both bipolar
supporters and those with bipolar disorder
fail to anticipate is the fact that
bipolar disorder is something that can be
managed but it takes constant monitoring
in order for it to be managed.
Some thing that bipolar disorder can be
cured which is can NOT be. Some think
that after a person is stable, everything
that was done that created stability can
be stopped but this is not true.
Some think that there won’t be good and
bad days and the goal is to have more good
days then bad days.
I notice with my mom now, she anticipates
potential problems and things that could
go wrong and she makes plans to reduce
or counter this.
This is the same with many people that work
for me as well. They do the same thing. The ones
that have bipolar disorder or another disorder.
The people I know who don’t do well, don’t
do this at all.
In my courses/systems, I try to provide you
will many things that can happen with bipolar
disorder and how to prevent or correct them.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
At first when you are trying to anticipate all
that can happen, you will most likely be frustrated.
You will feel overwhelmed. Eventually anticipation
is like a skill that you build. Over time,
you start to quickly figure out what can happen
and have a plan to prevent it or a plan to
handle it if it were to happen.
When it comes to bipolar disorder, I have
never seen so many people with virtually
no plans at all. It’s amazing to me. My dad
AND mom did this for years and years. I think
it’s because no one ever sat my mom and dad
down and said how seriously bipolar disorder
is.
I remember as a kid how random sometimes out
house was. Meaning lots of times, my entire
existence was a function of whatever kind of
bipolar disorder episode if any my mom was
having. Sometimes it was good. Sometimes it
was okay. Sometimes it was a total disaster.
One last hint. When the seasons change,
a bipolar episode can creep in. Guess what?
The seasons are changing. So I an anticipate
a potential mini episode AND so does my
mom. We have a plan what to do if signs
show for one.
Also, based on historical data so to speak
with my mom, her major episodes start right after
Christmas. Guess what’s coming? Christmas?
Also, it’s during this period what I call
Doomsday scenarios occur. I am not going to
really talk about that until later on.
Anyway, do some thinking. If you can, get
my courses and material so you can find out
what could happen and also what to do
about it. Then start making plans on paper.
Well I have to go.
Well I have to take off, I will catch you tomorrow.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
I have an 18 year old who was diagnosed woth bi-polar at 14 and also has ADHD. I have tried to anticipate episodes – hers are usually of the mixed kind with sleeplessness, rage, and paranoia and refusal to take meds. My husband and I have tried to do this – anticipate and plan for episodes and mini-episodes. At almost 19 and having a car it is increasingly difficult to have control over these. We disable the car and try to use the car as leverage, but we are only marginally successful. The episodes seem to move up in the seasons – earlier every year as she gets older. Legally she is an adult, but she is really still a teen. Advice?
My husband and I are bipolar as well as two of my three children. We are each so consumed in managing our own episodes, it has been very difficult to anticipate the cycles of the others. After sharing your article with my family, we identified the cycle we were each in and formualted a plan to mitigate risks inherent to the disorder. THX for the advice. Will keep informed :0) ~ Cheryl
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My husband and daughter are HUGE supports for me.
My Husband can see red flags pop up and tries to knock them down before I get triggered by one.
On a really bad day , we set down and make a goal list. Something simple as washing dishes or sweep the floor too. He believes like I do staying in bed or on couch whether your crying or not, be productive. Accomplish something it will boost your Self Esteem.
I make a list every night now.
When I’m manic. I have to watch myself on this as I’m BP1 and hyper most of the time.
He helped me wean myself off coffee by him making it. He did
do a decaf with a caf till it was
all def.
Oh the spending sprees. Not anymore. I get 2 checks incase I mess up on 1.
He has my credit cards and checkbook.
If I use them I have a limit.
He takes away my car keys too.
Calls my daughter and my therapist.
He makes sure I take my meds before he leaves that includes more valium.
My daughter just calms me by hearing her voice. Then I break out
in tears. we talk about what was the trigger. Is it worth all this?
Its gone now, you’re ok.
Supporters have to be patient. Its a hard job. I was reading a book on BP and my husband wanted to see it. Thats when he realized he knew nothing about being bipolar or how
to care for one.
Col
Someone please help: Last night I started in with a manic episode that is continuing today. What I want to know is: could this be related to the excitement I feel over a new relationship in my life, the change in the seasons or both? plus I think i’m starting to go through menopause hotflashes,etc. I recently read a book that said at the begginning of new relationships your brain secretes more norepi,serotoin,dopamine,and 3 other “feel good” neurotransmittors I can’t remember the names of. I could see where an increase of these NT’s could really play havoc with the meds your taking. I would love some feed back if anyone else has expierenced this same problem. Teri
col,I understand a little of where your coming from. I am a single parent of two. My son and myself have bi-polar. He is ubder treatment which I see no differnce. But tomorrow I will start mine. I need to get myself together. I have been for 3 years ‘not in the right frame of mind’ I have episodes every night. I get headaches from working that I can oothers talking around me. Try to keep a qiuet house with two teenagers… Not!!!
Not including the three hours of homeworke my son gets, and fighting with the parish I am in to have my son in special classes…
I have never done this so if I am out of line or not supposed to responed please let me know.
Thanks for your help but can you STOP mailing me at this stage
I wish I could afford your program but can’t now. I too notice a difference in my moods as the seasons change. I am bipolar2. I used to think I had sad. Maybe that too. I also am trying to cut down on caffein and sugar intake and getting proper sleep. I used to drink and smoke pot. It seemed to help sometimes before I was diagnosed and on medication. Sometimes I still miss the pot.
Karen
my son who is 6 years old has been diagnosed with ADHD combined type and one doctor has told me he is to toung to be bipolar but I honestly dont believe that is true we are currently looking for a new doctor since we moved back to cal. I know what triggers his outbursts but yet have been able to figure out what works after one has begun
hi dave,
been reading your articles and thankful for that, though i am lucky for we dont have that in our family or to any relatives.
but, i am working with a boss which i dont know if she has bipolar or not. i also find it so hard to share with her my reading materials or to forward her some of the reading articles i got from you.
at times my boss ios ok, suddenly without warnings she turned herself into freak..whats worst she will do it in front of other people. pity on us, because we got so embarassed and its nothing to her.just like nothing happens…to pacify ourselves we joke polar-bearjust to conceal the situation.
this happens many times and it affect us so much..
anyway thanks a lot for sharing your articles..
(Excuse me, I was watching “The War” on PBS tonite ’til 10:30, so am late getting on here.)
Teri, I have BEEN there. Spring usually makes me kinda hypomanic anyway, but if I’m starting a new romantic/sexual relationship, it only serves to heighten everything.
Just relax: you’re NOT going nuts. It’s OK to feel GOOD, Hon. Allow yourself these feelings. Just remember to follow your treatment plan – take meds, get plenty of sleep, talk to your therapist (and be HONEST about your feelings/sensations). At this stage, I wouldn’t worry that you’re going into an episode – it’s just that you have a couple triggers going for you right now that you have to recognize as such.
I have what are called “anniversary reactions” that occur at the anniversary of one of the deaths and/or good things that happened in my family. My Dad died suddenly when I was home alone with him on April 1 (April Fool’s Day – but it was NOT a joke). So, every April 1, I get “moody.” I recognize it for what it is, take some time to acknowledge it, and let it pass. Also, my first late husband and I were married on April 7 – so, when April 7 comes along, I react in the same way. Same with my second late husband. He died unexpectedly on September 21, so every September 21, I sometimes get so blue, I could cry. Two days ago, I couldn’t sleep, for thinking of him…
Does anybody else suffer from anniversary reactions? If so, I’d like to know how you handle them.
BIG HUGS and God’s blessings on all bipolars and their supporters.
I am amazed that you have stated so dogmatically (and you are not a doctor, not a therapist, not a nutritionist, dealing with one person) that bipolar cannot be (we won’t use the cure word, that is for bacon) but you indicated that bipolar couldn’t be stable enough for a person to function normally without symptoms…. sort of like standing on earth, never leaving it and saying ‘there is no God’!… You spoke of your Mom telling you that certain foods made her condition worse… You consider that she is correct… You stated that you had many stomach problems…. You felt that maybe it was due to something you ate that didn’t agree with it. Food allergies and deficiencies of nutrients are responsible for much more than most people acknowledge. Check out Roger McDougall’s website. He had MS, he had lost balance, vision, strength, his ability to communicate, etc. Reduced to a wheelchair with only his wife to translate his garbled words to the public. His degree was in Logic. He knew he had good days and bad days, there was no magic bullet (drug) so he kept track of what made him have bad and good days and figured what he was allergic to, (gluten, sugar, animal fat, some other items) and what he was deficient in…. A whole bunch of stuff, In four years, he was out of the wheel chair walking, speaking, had his sight back etc, never relapsed even after 4 years of being so bad off. He had his doctors check him out at that point and most of his lesions were healed, and to the day of his death at 82, he never had more nor did he relapse, and further they couldn’t find upon autopsy that he had any MS cells in his body. Dr. Ted Kolagris, a 3 time PHD holder (Immunology, biochemistry, and vetinary science) realized that humans (as well as animals) need a minimun of 72—-plus) nutritional elements every day in balanced and specific amounts and at that point the body begins to heal itself….(This brought him out of a wheel chair after a surgery on his back that left him in so much pain that he lived and worked from a wheel chair on morphine for years!) This regeneration of the body has been demonstrated in regrowth of brain cells, bone cells, all organ cells, etc and the results are so overwhelming that we see macular degeneration, yes even the wet type, post polio syndrom, lupus, MS, (that’s a hot one for me, as I lost a brother to that!), anything and everything… Be open minded, don’t keep repeating the same treatment and expect different results, you know what that defines…. Karen
i have come off all my medications 4 days ago but the seasons really afect my bipolar episodes i would appreciate tips on how to deal with my episodes effectively
Hi David,
Thank you for the work you are doing. I am a writer, who was married to a man with Bipolar disorder. I wrote this after watching him go through an episode. I thought of sending it to you, after reading the description posted today. I hope it helps some to understand. Sincerely, Dana
“Manic-Depressive”
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
By: Dana
She looks at me differently, stares at me as if I’m different……..and I am. My mind is razor sharp, and I feel invincible. I don’t like her at this moment, and view her as cheap, whore-like, weak and vulnerable. My words cut like a knife, and I enjoy listening to them. I don’t blame her for hating me; I knew she would. She taunts me with her laughter. I will wind up alone, and I like it that way. She can see that by now, I’m sure. I knew we shouldn’t have started something; I am too much for her. I walk into the other room to look at myself in the mirror. The rage I’m feeling can only be described as a surge of boiling blood through my veins. My face, neck and chest turn beet red, as I imagine smashing the mirror with my fist and using the glass chard to slice through a persons face, maybe her face. If you can think of what it would be like to be part human and part insect, you can almost fathom what I’m feeling……….almost. I splash my face with water in an attempt to cool off, and look again into the mirror. The heat is leaving, and I feel dizzy. My face is pale through the blur, and slowly the color comes back into my cheeks. It occurs to me that she is still in the other room, waiting passively. The thought repulses me until I walk in the room and see her face. How can there be such love, still there? She is a rock, constant. Calmly, she tells me she loves me and asks for a hug. I am instantly ashamed. I have gone away, while she remains, waiting for my return. Someday I will lose her……..I know I will.
Hi,
I am Cindy, 47 yrs.old. I 1st was diagnosed manic depressive at 21yrs. My family controlled me unfortunately and I wasn’t allowed medication.
However, self medicated with too many bad things. Things that could’ve killed me. I finally stopped that at 18yrs. old.
7 yrs. ago I was in a near fatal auto accident and was diagnosed bi-polar.
My ride has been tough, but it’s worth it. Currently my med’s are helping inbelievbly well. Thank God!
Thank you for listening to me, Cindy
Today I sat down with my bipolar partner & his key worker. She gave him a thing to fill out that asks about triggers, symptoms & what he has to lose amongst other things.
This is just what I’ve wanted to do during the episode he is currently recovering from.
I’m dreading doing this with him but at the same time looking forward to it. The episode we’ve just been through I was scared of overstepping the mark but in the future I’ll know exactly what he needs me to do by filling in this plan now.
I am a BP supporter of my husband and I am getting no cooperation from him taking meds, abusing alcohol and drugs, reckless behavior, etc. Help – I am planning an intervention w/ his family today and now I am having second thoughts like this is too mean or extreme. Any thoughts? Anyone? Thanks.
Ashley
Read the article Dave wrote about the deal-breakers. I have had to do a similar thing with my daughter. It all comes down to the fact that you cant help someone that refuses to help themselves. Its soooo heartbreaking but sometimes it comes to a point as hard as it is to walk away and wait for them to at least come to the realization that they do need help. By not walking away at this point you are enabling and not giving them any motivation to change. Good luck with the intervention if you go through with it!
Hi David:
I have a tragic story to share. I always thought my husband had a personality disorder. He was moody, selfish in that he didn’t want to be around many people, overly sensitive to any negative remarks, and was just a loner type. He became depressed on vacation early ’06 the first day we arrived in Mexico. He wanted to go home. When we everntuallu did, he nearly lost it when our return trip had several problems common to anyone who uses airplanes.We slept on the floor of an airport because he was mad at me and wouldn’t get a hotel room. His depression continued, so he went to his doctor and was prescribed Paxil. This spring that doctor told him to cut the pills in half. He seemed ok for a while. This summer he then started drinking to excess and became verballly abusive. He eventually did quit drinking, but his disdain for me continued. Prior to this summer, he loved me, the dog, the house and his life.
This summer he bought a sports car stopped talking to me, told me I was a greedy sob, and since then has bought a house and is in the process of fantically buying things to remodel it. My husband remodeled our home for the past six years we have been married. Recently I aksed him how did this happen that he doesn’t love me or want to be married to me anymore? I reminded him of this spring when all was well. When he answered me, he had a different look in his eyes and screamed at me while pounding on the table. His words were, “I DON’T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED!!!!! When he used to have mood swings and change into a nasty person , I used to think he was either possessed or psychotic. Now I know the word.
You see, I stumbled on your web site the other day, and I do not believe it was by accident. The web site starts: From David Oliver. I believe it was an answer to my prayer as to what was going on with him. My husband’s name is David Oliver.
I may not have much influence on him soon as he will be closing on his new house in October and moving out or ours. I do not know if he will come down or when he will come down from the mania to reason with me about his condition. He calls me bi-polar!!
I will be reading your emails to understand, but at this point, I am in survival mode due to his hostility, anger and vengence he has towards me now.
Thank you for anything anyone could add.
Hi, my daughter was diagnosed bipolar 1. She is not seeing a psychiatrist right now, she will be 18 in Feb. She dropped out of high school in Nov.06. I am afraid for her..right now. She has said she’s leaving at 18. She has cut herself, before said she wanted to die..etc.. this summer she opened the van door in back going down the expressway.. screaming about a hair straightener that cost $200. I didn’t have a clue what the dif. was in straightener’s, said it was not affordable and she flipped..I was quite and nice did not provoke anything. She has been in her room all the time door closed, eats at my computer, Her room is a mess..she’s missed an appointment for GED orientation.. said she will go to the next one..She makes ok friends not drinking or drugging, boys.. seems like she’s okay there..Has to be out though till after mid-night. She calls me, I was sooo asleep last night I didn’t answer my cell – she kept calling back..was the right thing to do. I told her I wanted her home by 10 p.m. / She calls and says they are watching a movie..etc..? Seems like she’s not the daughter she was when she was like 5th grade, altho I realize the age changes..I sent her ex parte to the mental health facility , she was there 2 days.. Psychiatrist said she was depressed and had adjustment disorder: so What happened to Bipolar 1? I am Bipolar 1 also, OR am I? My daughter is online till 4 a.m. and gets up at 12 noon.. what does all this sound like?? She has to have me take her to the International Mall in Tampa 40 miles on the expressway: The best clothes.. best make up than she wants to take things back all the time.. Her dad is moody and doesn’t talk to anyone, not even his own mother.. he’s gotta be Bipolar..and he throws things sometimes..or slams doors..I don’t like him.. he’s given me no money in 24 years. long story.. I plan to go to college and get an AA degree.. while my daughter gets her GED..than can go to college.. She isn’t driving yet and I’m afraid to let her drive.. She has never had a job @ 17 and a half.. think she’ll leave at 18? I’m really scared.. I noticed also, she vandalized my closet for no reason- pulled the shelf down..took the door handle off the linen closet and bent the towel rack..from hence what is wrong with her???? They did not help her at this mental health facility..and I’ve had her there in and out and she’s been baker acted 3 times there since 7th grade..otherwise she’s a really nice person and a great kid, was an honor student and high honor classes..NOW WHAT? do I do?? Her father is not personable at all..thank you.. advice? Being she’s 17 and a half, which program should I buy to help her and myself, the teen one or the adult one? I cannot get her into treatment or to therapy willingly.