Discover The True Cost of Bad People With Bipolar Disorder

Hi,

I hope today’s a good day for you.

How’s it going? I hope you are doing really well.

I have a really important bipolar lesson for you today.

Here’s how I thought of it.

Yesterday after I got back from babysitting three kids and two dogs (which is a really hard thing to do but fortunately someone else was there to help), I was planning my week out which I almost always do on Sundays.

I was noticing that someone that I hired about 5 to weeks ago or so has accomplished more in 4 weeks than the previous people in her position had done in 6 months.

It’s amazing. This person is truly incredible. She is handling so many things and helping to dramatically advance the entire organization so we can help more and more people dealing with bipolar disorder.

There was one person that I hired a few months back that had excuse after excuse as to why she couldn’t get things done. I heard it all. This most recent person came in and did everything she was suppose to do, plus 5 times as much in 20% of the time. It was amazing.

She is a great person.

Over the last 8 months I have hired some really great people and some really, really, really bad people unfortunately.

This got me to thinking about the true cost of bad people with bipolar disorder. Bad people who are suppose to help you with bipolar disorder are like bad employees and contractors. This can happen in several ways.

For example, a bad doctor. A bad doctor can really throw off your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

They can get bad prescriptions – their medication can be “off,” even throwing them into an episode, or even if they don’t go into an episode, they may become a handful for you.

Their thoughts can become distorted, their thinking can be just as “off” as their medication – they can even become delusional or start to hallucinate or become violent.

All because of the true cost of a bad doctor.

You can avoid this by using my good-doctor finding system that I teach in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

You might think you’re saving money by going to a cheaper doctor, but you’re really not.

You have to figure out the TRUE cost.

It’s the same thing with your loved one’s therapist.

Do you want the least expensive, or do you want one who is truly going to help your loved one to get better?

A bad doctor and/or therapist can cost you a ton in the long run. They have cost my mom hundreds of thousands of dollars, and at times I wondered if she got any better at all!

You might think that’s an exaggeration but it isn’t. My mom LOST hundreds of thousands of dollars from bad doctors and therapist. HUNDREDS of thousands.

So there are some good doctors and therapists, and there are some bad doctors and therapists. You just have to find a good one who will help your loved one.

I was thinking about this because Megan, who works for me, had pointed out to me that I have to really work hard on the front end of hiring.

If I try to hire someone just because they don’t want as much money as someone else who has the same skills, it might come back to bite me!

I just have to think about hiring the best person for the job, instead of the cheapest, just like I was telling you about the doctor and therapist for your loved one.

The point is, it’s not whether you hurt your doctor’s or therapist’s feelings or not, if you have to change doctors or therapists because the one you have isn’t really helping your loved one.

Just like I can’t be worried about hurting the feelings of someone I have to fire if they’re not doing their job, or worrying about saving or spending money on hiring a better person for the job even though it might cost me more money.

The most important thing is your loved one and managing their bipolar disorder.

And you can’t be thinking that the cheapest doctor or therapist is the best, just because they’re the cheapest. Actually, they’re usually not the best.

And the opposite is also true. Don’t think that the most expensive doctor or therapist is the best, either, just because they’re the most expensive.

It’s usually the one that comes somewhere in between.

But you need to spend time researching who you are working with. This includes not only doctors and therapists but everyone. Your Primary care physician. Your pharmacist. Your employee rehabilitation person (if you have one), etc.

You must screen. You must not just take any old person.

And finally don’t fall for the “we have to take so and so because this is the only option.” There’s always another option than taking any old random bad person.

Anyone have any comments on working with bad people versus good people with bipolar disorder and how devastating it turned out to be?

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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

  1. David: one thing I disagree with in your emails is you more often than not compare employees. Maybe the one you hired has been able to accomplish more a lot faster than the previous employee but what will happen if this employee has a bad Bi-po episode? Will you save this person’s job until the episode is over or will you replace the person, who when 1st started did so much better than the previous employee and brag about how the next employee did so much better than the ex-employee. How far are you willing to go to keep a really brilliant employee, who will eventual have an episode? Will you fire this person as you apparently did the previous employee prior to this one? The odds of having a Bi-po episode are, as you know, very high, no matter what systems you have in place to help the person with their episodes and some will recover faster than ever. so what happens if and when this employee has an episode?

  2. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ENLIGHTENING ME COZ I’VE BEEN SITTING ON A BIGGR PROBLEM THAN I COULD HAVE IMAGINED. WITH YOUR INFORMATION I’VE JUST REALISED THAT MY PARTNER HAS BIPOLAR DISORDER & HE DID NOT TELL ME & IT SHOW HE’S IN DENIAL………. THANX AGAIN

  3. Just thought I would add the fact that you may be making this person’s Bi-po episode worse (the ex-employee) as the person could very well be reading your daily emails and, of course, will know who you are referring too. Your comparison email could be doing a lot of damage to some one who is already struggling with a bad Bi-po episode. I don’t mean to sound judgmental, but I know that if I received general emails from my ex-employer and saw how much productive the one who took my place was, compared to me, I would probably have a major manic episode. Just human nature, nobody wants to feel they didn’t do their best, and that especially applies to those with some type of mental illness. Been there recently trying to help another person. Nothing I did or said made any difference one way or the other. Made me feel like I failed her and that is not a very good feeling at all.

  4. i had a really abd doctor and knew it the first day I was inbetween doctors so I had to keep him till i could find another one he gave me terrible meds which caused a break down at work.
    i found an ok doctoer that trued different meds on me i felt like a guinny pig then we found the roght cobination that worked untill last year i found out that not only did i have ocd and panic i also had bi polar so now i am seen for 25 min med checkd never checks my blood for diabetes this med i am on can cause diabetes so now i am looking for a new doctor that will treat me right its somtimes you have to kiss alot of frogs before you get a prince i have to stay with this doctor untill i can find one that will do what I ask of her

  5. I should say this as well. We do NOT dwell on people have disorders and limitations anyway. Michele Soloway who has more disorders than anyone, and could have given up a long time ago, made this policy which has worked great. We treat people equally. We have found by focusing on the end result and the tasks and not on limitations it works much better. Michele and several people with disorders have proved this time and time again.

    I think for everyone it would be very interesting to see how the people who work for me think and operate. None ever use their disorder as an excuse.

    Dave

  6. Good morning,
    My son was diagnosed with bipolar 9 months ago and when first diagnosed they told us that because it was such a mild episode, he may never have another one. The psychiatrist said that he may be able to go off the medication after 3 months if he remains stable. At that point I thought that was wonderful… just one episode and no more! Wishful thinking maybe? After the 3 months they lowered the dosage and he had a super mild episode (unclear thinking mostly and not sleeping) so they changed the dosage again, telling him he should be able to go off the medication after a year. After reading so much in here about how important medication is, I’m wondering exactly how much this psychiatrist really knows about the disorder? My son saw him last week before heading off to University and the Dr. suggested he remain on the meds until he was finished school. Finally, making some sense! I talked to my son, who is still in denial that there is anything wrong with him, and told him the story of a friends sister who was doing very well on meds, raised her children, then for whatever reason went off her meds, started cocaine and ended up in jail. She is now stable again on meds, but why put yourself through that if you don’t have to? Now, I don’t know if the Dr. has a plan to keep my son on the meds and is stringing him along telling him shorter time periods so as not to scare him away? Could be. If he ever suggests that he go off them then I will have to step in and be a little more forceful.
    David, thank you for all the information you send out each day. It’s definitely educated me on the importance of good doctors and how important it is to take medication.

  7. Dave, I thank you for your help in the past few months and I have tried to hang in there with the person I care about. I have had a relationship with him for eight years, He has been abusive, he has gained a lost a fortune, I have loved and supported him in every way I know how. About six months ago, we finally got a diagnosis bipolar disorder, he was put on medicines. It seemed like he got a permission slip to misbehave and I literally am at my wits end. Each and every day it seemed like it got harder and harder. He decided he couldn’t work because he was bipolar, and I have spent my savings keeping him financially for two years, Now he tells me he will never work, because he just cannot. His health is perfect, he just refuses. I am losing everything I have, my health is destroyed, and every time I look at him and do the least little thing that displeases him he goes off and has affairs with anyone that will drop in his bed. I have given up and given up on him. He is not going to get help. He really deep inside of himself doesn’t want to. He found his excuse for bad behaviour. I loved this person with every fibre of my being, but I am tired and cannot go on anymore. Thank you for the letters and the advice, unfortunately it just anything I feel I can do anymore. He is just laying in his house, with it falling in around him waiting for them to come and throw him out, turn his utilities off and playing video games. He is at this point not really interested in whether I go or stay he is just looking for someone else to pay his way. I feel sad because so much of him is worth saving. From what I can gather this is and has been his life style for years before I came along. He has a co-dependant woman he keeps on the side and has kept for seventeen years who comes in and bales him out each and every time he does this and then she gets tired of it and moves on for a while and sits on the side lines and gleans off who ever the next person he picks up. I am at the point I feel I have wasted a lot of good years of my life having hope and faith that he would “see the light” It has been a long and draining road. I wish you luck with your mission to help people like this. Again thank you so much for your help. gennylee

  8. Dear Dave,

    I am having a good day. I just wanted to tell you I was one of those really bad employees before I found out I was bipolar. I could be great one day anf give %110 of excellent work and come back the next day doing -%10 of work. I know it is hard on you when you do so many great things. The really bad people are still in denial about their disorders whatever they may be. i think it is great that you see people with disorders as equal people. I fight for this right every day. As usual keep up the outstanding work. I am thankful for all you do.

    Thankkkkkk Youuuuuu!

    sandie porter

  9. Hi Dave,
    Would like to see you discuss co-dependency. I know you talk about it in your courses, but someone who visits this site may not recognize that is something they need to learn about. Your insight here can be a catalyst to learn more. I had a hard time for years recognizing my own co-dependent stuff with my adult son. Finally I did, but then had a hard time doing something about it. It’s one of the most difficult issues a parent with a bipolar adult child can face and deal with. My son is not a “bad person.” But his behavior sure was bad….and my co-dependency allowed that behavior to continue far too long!
    Thanks for your dedication.
    Mari

  10. Hi.
    General remarks:
    Don’t consider people divided into bad ones ang good ones.
    Or, think that everybody has a good part.
    Or, everybody has something good you can learn.
    Or, don’t ignore people.
    …………………………………………………………………………
    I have some obsesions… And I try to cure myself.

    Don’t you? I mean things like checking and checking again… and avoid spam…and planing everything, etc., etc.
    You don’t have to worry, I like jokes and games. It motivates me.
    Maybe I don’t understand everything, but I try.
    Bye

  11. Hi David, I dont know if it is the correct email, but just wanted to let you know a little about me. My name is Anthony and recently have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I have been a Physical Education Teacher and Varsity Baseball coach since 1986. Last summer, my condition finally caught up with me as , outside of school hours, I was arrested from publlic lewdness. I did not lose my teaching license but I did lose my job that I was extremely passionate about. I was not aware of my disorder until after the incident took place, but I was very confused why these episodes would take place in cycles throughout my life as I lived my my professional and personal life. I have been reading your tips , hints, and news articles sent to my email, but I had been away when you sent the ones regarding employment . I had already talked with my therapist and psychologist about putting my efforts and passions back into helping others that can learn from my experiences. I also was looking into going back to college in getting my MSW as a Social Worker. Since the episode has rocked my world and life. I have taken a positive approach and desire to put my efforts toward helping others with challenges in their life.

    It would be so satisfying work with you and the group in some capacity!!!

  12. When you said:
    “And finally don’t fall for the “we have to take so and
    so because this is the only option.” There’s always another
    option than taking any old random bad person.”
    I had a history teacher that used to have a phrase that I’d like to continue on into history:
    “There’s mor’n one way to kill a skunk without kissing it to death…”
    LeRoy

  13. David, my first impression of your letter today was that this sounds very much like what most employers probably encounter amongst the general population, about hiring employees, and their productivity. There are productive employees who are organized and cooperative, and then there are the ones who take their problems to work with them, or don’t have a good work ethic, maybe are lazy and only there for the paycheck.
    I had to “fire” my ex-girlfriend, and I would NEVER hire her for ANY job, she is so dysfunctional and uncooperative, so completely disorganized, self centered, argumentive, defensive, has drug and alcohol problems, is messy and lazy, has a gigantic ego about herself, never finishes anything, loses her posessions, is wasteful, has an extremely short attension span, and won’t listen to anybody. Needless to say, she is not on any medication, has no therapist, and only sees the doctors at the emergency room, when she hurts herself, and won’t take their advice, either. She places blame for her problems on everybody and everything around her, and will not look at herself, and the problems she herself is causing. She lies constantly, both to the people around her, and to herself. A poster child for everything you support, because I’m sure that if she could do the things you advise, she would be more functional.
    I still recieve your emails, because I am still trying to understand her, and our ruined relationship. It gave ME problems, that I’m still trying to sort out. She stopped listening to you a long time ago, besides, she wrecked her computer, so it’s now an $1800 DVD player, with $400 speakers. She got evicted from her apartment, and stays with old friends, and ripped me off for the work I did to help move her into storage.
    Ironically, I have been actively trying to find a decent job for an entire year.
    David, you are so right on about everything you support and pass along to us all. You work from your own life experience, have done the research on what works, and are doing God’s work, helping SO many people. You talk the talk, and also walk the walk–as is evidenced by your own staff, your own Mom. If only more people could listen to reason, and stop telling themselves lies, you would help thousands more.

  14. I think everyone has some bad days but we just keep on going. Anyone that is that good isn’t going to be down or up for long. Even if it wasn’t bipolar that person could be having a bad day. I just lost a job because I’m Bipolar. It was in the catering business. I loved it but I was having a bad day I was just quieter than usual. I didn’t think anythink of it yet they said I was too moody. Me a former project manager with CIS talking with the big guys and coming up with some fanastic ideas and ways to implement them and I’m reduced to living off of disability I should say at the time of the diagnosis my son died and my husband of 28yrs left me for a younger woman.

    But give people a break and they will work hard for you and will regain their pride.

  15. Good morning David sorting out good people from bad people is quite a process.I suppose you have to have some things in place and everyone desrves a chance unless they exihibit an unreasonal behavior from the beginning.I believe you have a good heart and and you do the best that you can with people,it seems as though you have given many people with bi-polar facests chances to work for your org.and when they don’t work out as in any business you have to let them go.you just have a big heart and you don’t like firing people,but that is part of making an org.strong and functiong to capacity.well stay strong and be well.

  16. david,

    hi. i totally agree with you. here is my situation, as sad as it is:

    i was dating a girl. she stopped taking her medication about 6 months ago (that i know of), probably longer. here is what happened since then:

    she went into a manic mode and went out drinking (and driving) coming home at 3:00 am.

    we lived together and had plans to get married. she moved out into a bad neighborhood, with overpriced rent, small living quarters and next to a drug house. (we were still together though)

    soon after, she hurt herself and has tried to commit suicide.

    started to do street drugs.

    got a large tattoo on her side. then, started buying street drugs from the guy who did the tattoo.

    stopped doing all the activates that she had been doing with me. sports, the gym, beach, walks etc.

    then, she broke up with me. god knows who she is hanging out with. i know that she is hanging out with one friend from her past that she grew up with. he does street drugs and had a lot of problems.

    the therapist she is seeing has bruises because she is abused by her husband. i asked madi to change therapists, but she won’t.

    her mother has bipolar, but will not get help. she is not a good influence on madi. the mother is very manipulating and controlling. she interferes in madi’s relationships and has distanced her son from the family.

    i have done everything i could possibly do. i feel that she was my soulmate and i miss her.

    do you give up on someone who you think is your soulmate or how long to you give it for her to come around? i do not want to be with anyone else, but i also want to be realistic.

    please help.

    anthony

  17. Hello, thank you for your recent newsletter. After reading your newsletter for the third time today, I don’t think you are making a comparison between hiring persons with bipolar disorder and persons without. I understand how your message could be misinterpreted so I’d like to make a suggestion that you carefully review your writing style prior to sending out your newsletter.
    Regardless, I think mine is an important point to share with others in the way they may have interpreted your message today.

    I feel it is not productive for you, David, as a professional, to assert your personal feelings regarding employability and performance of your employees.

    First, of all, it could be considered a confidentiality and right to privacy violation. Although you haven’t mentioned specifically any former employees name, your staff would probably be a matter of public information should someone choose to seek this information. Because of the time frame given, it would be easy to discern which members of your staff are still employed and which are not. Basically, it’s too much information.

    I’m pleased you have so much confidence in the members of your staff who are bipolar. You’ve made some great choices as a result of reviewing and responding to the resumes you’ve received and the careful interviewing. However, the reason persons with disabilities are protected from disclosure of their disability by the Americans With Disability Act of 1990, is because the key operative in hiring someone for any position of employment is how closely they meet the requirements and qualifications for that position. This is true whether a person has a disability or whether they are not disabled.

    As a matter of record you’ll find most Human Resources staff members will share similar incidents as the one you have shared with members of this forum. I’d like you to keep in mind that within any HR department the person who assumes responsibility for a new employee’s poor work performance is the member of HR, e.g., the director, recruitment coordinator, HR generalist, etc., who made the final decision to make the offer of employment. Everyone in the field of human resources development would like to think that they’ve found the ideal candidate for each position available and that the new employee will assume long term employment with the company. In actuality, this is a rare occurrence (sad, but true). And, statistics show that this has very little to do with the job performance, education, or employability status of the new hire. It’s mostly related to common human error. Sometimes, we just don’t get a true sense of who we are interviewing, or what are their true qualifications. We like to think we do. In actuality, we don’t.

    The second point I’d like to make is making a celebrity focus or phenomenon status of hiring persons with bipolar disorder. This is a common disability and never, over the course of several decades, has it been shown that a person with bipolar disorder is unable to assume a typical lifestyle – with or without appropriate medication. There are as many unemployed people with bipolar disorder as there are employed persons with bipolar disorder.

    The question is “are these facts unique to this illness and disability?” The answer is “no, they are not.” Hence, the justification for legislative action in the form of the ADA, 1990 (Americans with Disability Act of 1990.) While personal circumstances such as a stable environment, educational opportunities, cognitive ability, and personal character play a part in the potential employability of persons with disabilities, these factors are equally relevant in persons who do not have a recognized or diagnosed disability.

    What I’m pointing out is that it makes no difference. And, to use this as justification for pointing out the capacity for employment or gauging the work habits as a determiner for termination of an employee is, as you well know, both unconstitutional and illegal. Thus, I’d like to say that it is just as great a employment violation as it is an ethical violation to make the discernment between your employees “with bipolar disorder or disabilities” and your employees “without bipolar disorder or disabilities.” Making this distinction is equally inappropriate and unnecessary. This is incongruent with the whole purpose of valuing a person for the contribution they can, and are making to our society, be it as an employee or any other role as a human being.

    It’s easy to take the credit and to want to give credit where credit is due, David. However, I find this action to serve to my own detriment as I will illustrate to you and the members of this forum. This is a conversation I once had with my mother about how well I felt I had managed as a single mother. I was accustomed to speaking openly to other people about my children’s accomplishments. She felt it was boasting and at any time could explode right back in my face, because she asked me, “what are you going to say when they screw up and aren’t so perfect,” and on and on, she spoke.
    She asked me, “how can you take all the credit for what they’ve done.” I replied to her, and this is a very important point, “I don’t take all the credit, Mother, because if I take all the credit, I have to take all the blame, too.”

    The same principle applies to your newsletter today. You may want to reevaluate what you identify as “good” and “bad” treatment, or a “good” and “bad” employee. I’ve learned to use the word “effective” in how I make assessments about human performance.

    Sincerely,

    Elisabeth

  18. I agree with what you say – but more money doesn’t always indicate more quality, on either end (doctors or employees). A treasure is a treasure, no matter what the cost.

    And again, if you do find a need for a good computer trainer/helper, please let me know.

  19. Dear GennyLee,

    I feel bad for you because of what this guy has put you through. Is there any way you can set boundaries with him. Say like if he goes to see a therapist with you, you will stay with him and if not then you will leave, or if he messes around on you again that you would leave? It may be hard to start setting boundaries, but that is what I think would help. If you can get him in to therapy with you, then you two could work on these issues with a trained professional. Good luck what ever you decide to do.

    John Glazer, were you seeing my sister??? LOL. She is a lot like that, many of those problems, like 90% of what you said, my sister does. She is non compliant with anyone, refuses to see a psychologist and only sees a psychiatrist who is trying to get her to see the light. But even he said she is stubborn. She works, but I don’t know how. She doesn’t steal, but mismanaged money. I think you have a valid point, not getting into relationships with people that are like that.

    Some people do not care enough about themselves, or anyone else, let alone having good work ethics. There are bad Drs. Empolyees, Employers!!! And people we get into relationships with can be disastrous. There are bad friends, bad mechanics, bad nurses, bad dentists… etc. We just have to realize when the cost of “hiring” or “getting into a relationship” with someone is too costly and the benefits are outweighed by the costs. That is when we have to look at what am I getting out of this, what am I putting into this, and is what I am getting out proportional to what I am putting in? If not, then it is time to find someone else.

    We can only change ourselves and try to influence others to do the right things, but we have no control over people. There was an excellent insight that someone shared with me once “There are none so blind as those who refuse to see”!

    Sincerely,
    Bob

  20. Hi David,

    I am not so sure that my guy or ex-guy is a “bad” person, but there were times when he became almost wild-eyed and said very hurtful thngs.
    He is an actor and performs one man shows for companies, Retirement Homes, and the school system.
    He has been diagnosed with ADD and Bi-Polar. I thought if I did my homework by educating myself about this disorder, I would be better prepared.
    Well, I was in some way, but it was still difficult.
    We parted ways recently, and I am having a difficult time.
    We were together off and on for three years and the “offs” were always his decision.
    Back to the “bad” person idea. I would often ask myself or sometimes him “now, are the hurtful things he is saying or doing, the Bi-polar person or the real guy?”
    He is hyper-focused on his “vision” which is presenting the life of Thomas Edison. (Apparently, Edison had ADD) So, it seems distancing himself from me and the outside world is easy and more comfortable.
    Meanwhile, I am trying to understand why I would want to subject myself to being around someone where the relationship is almost like a project.
    I am wondering if most caregivers are stronger in their sense of self or weaker.
    This is the first time I had taken the time to write anyone with my thoughts. Thanks for taking the time to read. Rita

  21. As the saying goes – “Don’t hide your light under a bushel.” There are MANY people with bipolar who, if given a chance, can be VERY productive in the work force.

    I had a job as a legal secretary, hired under the Disabled Workers Act in VA, that allowed half my salary to be discounted from my employer’s taxes. I lied, and told him I had “something like epilepsy.” He thought I was the greatest thing since “sliced bread,” and lauded my accomplishments daily.

    There came a time when he wanted me to do the spreadsheets. I couldn’t do them; I am NOT math-oriented, and could never get the hang of them. He called me into his office to fire me; I told him then, that I was manic-depressive (the diagnosis at the time). He was LIVID – he said, “I wish you had told me in the beginning; I’ve known a LOT of manic-depressives, and they’re not worth the powder to blow them up. I’ve never trusted ANY of them. I think it’s time for you to go.” No severance pay, no “good-bye,” just out.

    This was right before my first husband died, and I went into an out-patient-treated hypomania. I applied for, and received Disability. I have never worked in an office since the last one described above. My therapist keeps telling me I can NEVER work again. It is the “trust” issue that bothered me – I was a GOOD employee, aside from the fact that I couldn’t do the spreadsheets.

    I do occasional mystery shopping, answering surveys, and opening paid emails on the computer for a little outside income. But I’m NOT an “instant millionaire.” I’m in the process of applying for a refinancing on my condo, which will also pay off my credit cards. I am doing this on my own, with no input from anyone else. I FEEL I AM competent to work; but NOT under the above circumstances.

    Who DO you tell the truth to about bipolar disorder? I have become almost a “hermit” about revealing my illness, but do talk about it, even with people I meet for the first time. Almost ALL of the people I tell accept me for ME, and NOT the disorder.

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.

  22. I Do agree with you on one thing here Dave, That a Good Dr and Good Therapist are of Vital Importance! If you don’t have them, It’s like losing
    a Favorite Recipe. You Just DON’T have the RIGHT INGRIEDIENTS!

  23. First of all, I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk about your personnel problems. It might hurt people’s feelings (bipolar or not), and it really isn’t a professional thing to do for these e-mails. Maybe it would be a better idea to find something else to discuss in your e-mails about bipolar other than your difficulties in your work environment.

    Second of all, I don’t like the title of this e-mail: “Discover the truth of the cost of bad people with bipolar”. I think there are people with honesty and compassion who are hardworking, and people who are not, but I don’t think bipolar has anything to do with it. There are bipolar people with higher character, and bipolar people with lower character. When they’re in an episode, I think that maybe their behavior is bad, but THEY, as people, aren’t bad. They’re sick. I would hope that everyone who works in the field of mental health would have that attitude.

    I’m not sure what you were trying to teach us about good Dr.’s and therapists and bad ones. You told us (twice) that because of “bad” ones, your mother lost “hundreds of thousands of dollars”. You didn’t really give much advice about how to find the good ones, other than to say that we shouldn’t stay with a bad one just because they’re cheap. As a former RN, I happen to know that there are excellent cheap Dr.’s and therapists and terrible expensive ones, and everything in between.

    You made a comment on the blog that neither of the employees you were talking about had any disorder. So who were the “bad bipolars” you were referring to when you said, “Discover the truth of the cost of bad people
    with bipolar”. What cost of what bad bipolar people? I don’t understand.

  24. PS: In your last sentence, you asked for comments on working with
    “bad people versus good people with bipolar in working?” Which bad
    people were you talking about?

  25. I once had a psychiatrist I saw for quite a long time. I suddenly became physically abusive to my husband and hit him as well as verbal abuse. As I had had a whole year of Day Treatment 4-5 days a week even 20 odd years and in group therapy, we discussed different mental conditions.
    Before I went to this longtime psychiatrist, I, myself thought of anger management. She said if I had such strength to physically abuse my husband with such strength and throw heavy things around and tip over bookcases, I should be able with my strength to do my housework. Well. I walked out of her office. I got a new psychologist and psychiatrist and I have 1 hour couseling once a month and frequent visits with the psychiatrist and take a medicine to control my temper 3 times a day. It has controlled my anger and monthly counseling helps me to cope and accept a person who is not the same as I am. My husband goes in for some of these sessions with me as he will not really talk unless we are there. I have depression and escape to my room to read, sleep, call friends, etc. I will say I am sorry first and he doesn’t express affection as much as he used to years ago. We have been married almost 18 years and together commited for 30 years. He is retired, but because of physical problems I don’t get out by myself. He will not leave the scene of the crime and that is why I revert to my own room and of course our sexual life is very rare and I usually promote it.

  26. I don’t like putting people into 2 groups good or bad of corse they are people who are sweeter or nicer than other people but to say “oh they are a bad person”. To me is harsh and can be destructive to a persons self esteem. Everybody has a bad day. If you are talking about bipolar people being bad or good. I think some bipolar people accept that they have been diagnosed with it and try real hard to get stable and to do better…Some people totally deny and refuse to believe that they have it and they fight, won’t take there meds. or see a good dr. or anything to help themself and cause there family and there friends pain and hurtful grieve and usally end up almost broke and homeless no matter how much you want to help them.
    I know from experience my husband left me broke and caused me to almost lose everything we owned and he refused to get help.
    He has divorced me and is from relationship to relationship. working a little here and a little there but does not see or care right now about what he has done or costed his family.
    you can cry, talk to them till you are blue in the face and it don’t change nothing if they deny there issue and don’t want to be a better person.
    HE self medicates on pot and other drugs and does as he pleases and yes to me the things he is doing to himself is BAD and to his family is BAD but some where inside this sick in denial man is a kind sweet person who deserves love just like all of us who chose to live a more fruitful life.
    This whole world would be better off if we would get to know Jesus and ask ourself how he would handle the sick and the inflicted.
    He loves the good and bad people ,there bad ways just grieves him. but we all have free will and a chose to be a good behaved person or a bad behaved person. some times we have to lose it all and everyone around us before we see we need help from others and a doctor.
    Everyone deserves to be loved. God bless all bipolar survivors and your supporters. for the good and bad

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