=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=
Hi,
How’s it going? I am leaving tomorrow so I have
a whole lot of things to do.
I am going to San Diego, San Jose, San Francisco
and a few other places visiting various business
people and organizations to help this organization
grow and continue to grow.
Okay, on to today’s topic.
I’m going to tell you up front that I may get
hate mail for taking a stand on this, but I have
to do it anyway.
But I just want to tell you that even though
you have a write to take your own stand,
and you even have a right through the 1st
amendment of our constitution, I have the
same right to say what I want to say, too.
I don’t like to get hate mail, and no one else
would either, so just take that into
consideration, ok?
With all that said, let me just say what I
wanted to say today.
If you have bipolar disorder, and you don’t
take medication for it,
YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.
So, ok, I know I am going to get some
hate mail, I understand that.
But maybe others will open up their
eyes and in those cases maybe I will
actually save some lives.
Because it is TRUE!
If you have bipolar disorder and you
won’t take your medication, or you
don’t even believe in taking
medication, YOU WILL DIE!
Especially if you have been on
Medications before and then you
go off those medications.
One example (and there are so
many others) is Michele’s sister.
She was on medications for her
Bipolar disorder. Then she went
off them, and 8 months later, she
killed herself.
I know that some of you are
already saying to yourself,
“Yeah, but that’s not ME.”
And I say, “Yeah, but it COULD
be you. And it WILL be you if
you stay off your medication!
When you first go off your medication
it stays in your system for a while and
it may seem as if you’re still ok without
taking it. But this is only fooling you.
The fact is that after a while, the
medication effect will wear off, and
YOU WILL CRASH!!!
AND THEN YOU WILL BE EVEN WORSE
THAN BEFORE!!!
And all that time you thought you were
fine, but you were actually getting worse
and worse.
See, when you are first put on medication,
the doctor gives you a small dosage, and
gradually builds you up to the higher
dosage he/she wants you to be on to
control your bipolar disorder.
Then the medication reaches a level
In your system. If you stop taking your
medication, the level will stay there
for a little while, but then will slowly
go back down to where you started in
the first place.
So you might think you’re fine, but you
Are actually WORSE! I have had people
on the phone that swear they are okay
but are totally out of their minds but
thinking they are fine.
So I have to take a stand, even if it
means hate mail.
WITHOUT MEDICATION FOR YOUR
BIPOLAR DISORDER, YOU WILL DIE!
Medication is the primary therapy
for controlling bipolar disorder.
Without it you will die. It is that
simple.
I’ve had too many people call me
and write to me asking to be taken
off my mailing list or off the forum
because their loved one went off
their medication and killed
themselves.
I know. I know this is true because
real people have told me this is true.
If you are even considering going off
your medications, DON’T!
Or if you already have, GO BACK ON
THEM!
In my courses/systems, I go over all
the reasons that people give for going
off their medications, and the top
reason is because of the side effects:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But the side effects CAN be managed!
Just ask your doctor! Side effects should
NEVER be a reason for going off your
medication.
Others have stopped their medications
because they believed they no longer had
Bipolar disorder. THAT IS A LIE! Once you
have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder,
you will ALWAYS HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER!
Yeah, that’s another reason I will
probably get hate mail, because I know
of some people who actually believe they
have been cured of the disorder.
But the TRUTH is, THERE IS NO CURE
for bipolar disorder, and these people
are just plain believing a lie, and if they
don’t go back on their medications, they
WILL DIE!
I know I am taking an argumentative
stand on this issue, but I believe I am
telling the truth.
Unfortunately, some of you will take
an opposite stand, and that is very,
very sad.
Your Friend,
Dave
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My husband is not on a medication right now for his bipolar. They doctors are trying to find one that works for him. The ones he has been given in the recent past and in the further past, make him more angry and more violent, unable to control his rage. He is on homeopathic stuff for right now, that seems to work for him better than any drug the doctors have given to him. We are trying to find the right combonations for him still.
I agree with your comments, my daughter has bipolar disorder and I would NEVER think of taking her off of her meds. We have been working for over a year with her medications and it is tricky business. Medication is essential to bipolar disorder wellness. So I would never give anyone who has bipolar disorder the advice to stop taking medication, but to work with their doctor or therapist on a medication regimen.
There is another bad thing that can happen when you stop taking your meds – sometimes the same meds won’t work when you start taking them again – this is actually documented in some medical journals. So, if you have a drug or drug combination that is keeping you stable, and then you go off it and go into an episode, that same combination might never work for you again…
Oh my! I took myself off my meds because of the side effects nearly 5 months ago. I know something is happening again, I am having more and more “weepy” moments (I am type II, the depressed one). Just yesterday I was thinking of calling my shrink to get back on them.
Yes I feel you are 100% right about the medication. The doctor took my husband off his medication and he was dead with 10 months. I agree with you. peggy
EVERYONE is going to die some day, no matter what.
‘Good EVENING’, Everybody! (Joke! Well it IS nearly evening where I am!)
I’ve been asleep for seventeen hours this time, due to my extra new Medication designed to slow me down, then spent several hours watching American Comedy Shows in bed. However, I’ve been making up for lost time since I got dressed a few hours ago, as I’ve been e-mailing the TV Producer; talking to my Psychiatric Nurse about the side-effects of the new Pills, cleaned my Fish Tank and done my House-Work. I’m about to go feed the Ponies and walk my Dogs, then go back to bed again!
David’s correct about those of us diagnosed with the Bipolar Condition to take the proper Medication, or we’ll die EARLIER than we’re supposed to do, even if we’ve got to endure side-effects. My body’s ALREADY “fighting” the new Drug ‘Quetiapine’ and I bet that within a week or so, I’ll be back to bouncing about like ‘Tigger’ from ‘Winnie The Pooh’!
One thing that may prove useful to you all out there is the following data that I read the other day from a Leaflet I picked up in the Pharmacy. (Many of you might recall that I sometimes have the bad and dangerous habit of taking double doses of the Sedatives to ‘knock me out’ when I’m feeling particularly stressed and over-tired, but can’t “switch” my Brain off.)
Quote: “The correct dose of a medicine is carefully worked out to make sure that it is as effective as possible while causing the fewest side-effects or other problems. Taking MORE than the recommended dose will NOT MAKE IT WORK BETTER OR FASTER but is likely to INCREASE the chance of unwanted SIDE-EFFECTS which can sometimes be unpleasant, or even dangerous. Taking LESS than the recommended dose usually means that the medicine WILL NOT WORK as well as you expect.”
This information will prevent me from taking double doses in future because I’m NOT ‘THICK’ and now that I know that extra Pills won’t help me to feel better quicker and for longer, I’ll just have to ‘ride the storm’ whenever it brews. The info about taking less Pills proving useless is also an important point. We really ought to trust our ‘good’ Medical Back-Up Teams and take the doses that they prescribe.
David, I realise that I’m nagging (Martin thinks that I’ve got a ‘Degree’ in it!), but don’t forget to take time off work to really enjoy the Sights and relax!
Take care all. Love,
Sue and all the animals. x
I was dx’d last year with B.P. I’m 56 yrs old and knew my life was unmanagable. I had ups and downs, but the downs were very strong and I hated living. Tried to kill myself in 1995 with narcotics.
I am on three presciption meds.
They & my therapist have turned my life around. For which I am most grateful. I plan to work with my psychiatris and therapist “forever”
so I can continue to feel like a productive citizen & an asset to the community.I so appreciate your emails. The tendency to over spend has ehld me back from buying your kit. Debbie M
Debmo
you are sooo right about dying without the medication and not just from suicide. A neighbor was shot and killed by the police because in my hood, if they have any type of weapon during thier episode the cops shoot first to protect themselves and others first.
If you do get hate mail David, it’s from the people who have gone off their medication, so watch your back my brother and don’t stop keepin’ it real.
Beautifully and simply stated. The medications do not guarantee a life free from exacerbation of symptoms or any other factor related to the illness of bipolar disorder, but not taking the medications is a one way ticket to crash and burn.
I believe your post. I am a SO of a person who has been diagonsed with Bipolar. He is not on his meds at this time and hasn’t been in 9 months. He has been excessively drinking to the point of a case of beer in one day and other liquors as well. It’s scary. He has stop communicating with me. Or he has limited communication with me. He is out of town. I’m trying to get him to go to see his doctor and get back on the meds. But I’m not getting anywhere it seems. I told him that he is going to crash if this keeps on. I’m really scared right now.
Too right, David. There are various estimates about regarding the mortality rates for people with BP. One I read suggests on average around 90& of BPs attempt suicide and about 25% succeed. The rate is HIGHER for the “less severe” Type 2 BP than it is for the Type 1, which may be explained by the fact that Type 2’s are more likely to experience the very distressing Mixed Episodes, and (I suppose) because Type 2’s are not so blissfully unaware of their manias as Type 1’s! These suicide rates are slightly higher than they are for schizophrenics. (If you give me a couple of hours, or so, I’ll source these figures – sorry, I forgot to take note of it when I grabbed the details a few days ago.) So, let no one tell you otherwise, that BP is a VERY dangerous illness, and a very large proportion of people do not survive it. I did not find any information as to whether or not those who kill themselves are more likely to be people off medication, but I did read the rates may be higher still due to the swathes of people who are never diagnosed – the “unexplained” suicides. (“He didn’t seem the type …” “But she was always so jolly … I didn’t know …” “Someone must have killed him and made it look like suicide! He’d never do that to himself!”) However, common sense would suggest that people who do not take their meds, and people who are not on the right meds, are more at risk than those who take their meds and have achieved a large measure of stability.
That said, there will be break throughs, which cannot be anticipated. Plus there is the drip, drip, drip, water torture of BP, of knowing that you always get through the bad times, but knowing they will always come back again. Meds or not, I’m sure this takes away a lot of people. But no meds … just makes it all the worse.
Dave,
I dont usually respond to these, but this one hit home. I stopped my medications and after about 9 months, I was at my worst. I thought I was alright, but I was in a state of denial. My husband finally pulled me aside and said he knew i was off the medication and if I didnt start again, I would LOSE EVERYTHING… him, the kids, the life we have tried so hard to build. That sent me into a depression and made me feel I was better off dead. Instead of committing suicide, my husband helped me get back into the doctor, back on differect medications and back into my life that I do love. Dont get me wrong, I dtill have issues with the up and down moods, but it is SO much better and a lot easier to deal with while on the midications. DONT give up if the doctors cant find the perfect combination of drugs for you… they are out there and it will be amazing. You are important to people and the wanting to die will pass… death is forever. Never forget someone out there loves you and needs you. Stay on the meds… i know i hate doing it at times, but have to… not only for the people around me… but for me. God Bless…..
No Meds. Dead Zone!!!For me it was a srruggle to accept that I had this manic depression and has to take meds. for the rest of my life. I wanted to die right then and ther. Doc. asked me how I would do it, I replied, if you or I had a gun I’d blow myself away. It was tears later,sessions later,med.changes later…that I lost all hope. I visited my mothers. There was the gun in her new “DOCTOR HUSBANDS’} night stand. I picked it up, put it to my head and in crippling disress put it back where I found it. I didn’t want to ruin my mother new comforter,moreover I didn’t want anyone but me to suffer,I left the house as if nothing happen. the following day I was having lunch with my boyfriend and someone came and told me my brother was dead. Shot himself with the same gun I picked up the day before. I was totally numb… no tears…why couldn’t that be me? The only diffence about myself and my brother was that I always took my meds no matter what…he on the other hand pick and chose how many and when. This took place 20 years ago. Today I thank God I’m still here most days and I pray for Barry. This is a huge battle to be up against…so is finding a doctor who beleives you abd beleives in you.
i agree with your comments the medication is very important.my mother has bipolar and she went the phase of not wanting to take the medicine or thinking that she was cured,but she only got worse after going off the medicine.she is now stable with the medicine that she is on.if you really take a step back and look at it you will die without it
I know that if I have bipolar disorder and I don’t take my medicaiton, i will die, but I will die anyway, right? I doubt if I will die any sooner with or without especially seeing as how it’s been over 30 years and I have not committed suicide yet. I think that not all people with bipolar disorder get destructive or violent and I am pretty sure I am one of those who does not. And quite frankly it would be a relief to be gone…
I have never thought about it, but you are right. The one time I went off my meds was disastrous. I am totally committed to staying on course with meds. I thought your statement was exacting and proper.
Dave, I agree with you totally. My husband stopped taking his medication and started using illegal drugs, so I took the kids and left! I hadn’t heard from him in 5days and sent the police to his apartment (after I left he lost the house, his job and totalled two cars) The police called me back like I was a nusaince caller ~~ tomorrow it will have been two weeks since I sent the police ~~ by now he may be dead. All of this is because he will not own his illness and take meds or be honest with the doctors.
how do you get funds for meds with out insurance? and the local state agencys wont keep you on your prescribed meds?
It is true that if we don’t stay on our medications and take them when we should we can die.
Low or no medication levels let us act on our feelings, especially those of self distruction.
Alyssa D. It would only be a temporary releif. I beleive in life after death and this is just a testfor the next level of evolvement. I know it’s quirky, but it keeps me keepin’ on. Suicide it a easy way out and you really hurt alot of people that care alot about you.IT’s a final destiation for a journey you just begun. It does get better. Not all at once and not all the time. Use your head and I’ll bet dollars to donuts you have some really good instincts and insight. Go for the Gold, Girl! Me a hopeless helpless loser 2 short years ago.”DON”T EVER LET GO”
Toni, Good to hear that your MoM is back on her meds. What we’ve got to realize here is that unmedicated bipolar people don;t always make good choices, and this could lead to their demise. It really is a hard pill to swallow. Yet tell me thisif moM was a diabetic would she take her insulin,or if she had cancer would she have kemo??? In the big pictue we have a common problem which is treatable with certain elements in place. Piece a cake.lol
Hey Dave,
You know what? You are rite. Bipolar never does go away, that’s like saying that a person that was born with no arm will grow one back. Not taking medication is not a good thing at all,I should know. I have bipolar & it will eventually get to the point that I will either start taking my medication or ya, I will die. You get to where you are tired of fighting everyday,every time you wake up. Trust me I will be back on my medication real soon. My kids need me & I really don’t want to die.I’m here for a reason so I might as well make this life as enjoyable as possible.
Mysticwine1
Thanks for the strong but truthful posting David.
My husband was diagnosed with BP two years ago, after years of escalating to the point of hospitalizaion. He is SO much better on his meds (depakote) and really has found peace in himself.
I have set boundaries that he must take his meds or the consequences are that I will leave. Off his meds he would be a very unsafe person for me to be around. I do not fear for him to be suicidal but rather homicidal off his meds…and me well i love life too much
Dear Dave,
I know what you are saying is true but I still dont like hearing it over and over again! this is not hate mail this is I already know to take my meds and I also educate people I wrote a book had it published for all kinds of mentle disorders. to educate people. maybe you are on the defensive because you wrote that so much for most surviors of bi polar we know to take our meds if we are to survive.
acceptance is the worst part of this bi polar experience I call it that because I know every day can bring on an episode on or off meds.
keep on writting but i like your positive stuff much better.
thanks,
trish
I personally believe that a combination of medication, eating the right foods regularly, regular physical exercise, yoga psychotherapy, counselling, massage and support from family and friends is essential to manage this dreadful disease that currently has no cure. Every patient is different. By keeping a journal, having insight and awareness of the trigerring events, life will become more manageable.
I just wanted to start with this quote from the article and my inserted comments from a bipolar that is not taking medications:
“If you have bipolar disorder, and you don’t take medication for it,
“YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. Insert: (still waiting? Maybe nature will take its course, but then if that is the case you better get some meds too, because you’re dyeing also in the boarder scheme of things! May I suggest a few? LOL)
“So, ok, I know I am going to get some
hate mail, I understand that. Insert: (hate mail? What for? You’re obvious misguidance on this issue?)
“But maybe others will open up their
eyes and in those cases maybe I will
actually save some lives. Insert: (eyes are wide open and I don’t buy your Bull still, of course that Bull could create good compost for the flowers I will need for my upcoming funeral LOL)
“Because it is TRUE! Insert: (your truth, does not constitute in all reality actual truth)
“If you have bipolar disorder and you
won’t take your medication, or you
don’t even believe in taking
medication, YOU WILL DIE! Insert: (I’m still alive and kicking? Can you predict the end of the world too? How about the winning lotto numbers? I could sure use those LOL)
“But the side effects CAN be managed! Insert: (Managed by my death or irreversible damage caused from the medications?)
Just ask your doctor! Side effects should
NEVER be a reason for going off your
medication. Insert: (Naïve, and so coming from someone that doesn’t have bipolar and dealt with psych doc’s on a regular basis)
“Others have stopped their medications
because they believed they no longer had
Bipolar disorder. THAT IS A LIE! Once you
have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder,
you will ALWAYS HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER!” Insert: (you are a real party pooper Oliver! I just starting to think the CIA genetically altered penguins had come up with a cure for my bipolar! Damn it! Now you have pissed me off!!!)
Unfortunately if this was the truth in all cases; I would be sitting here typing this as a corpse, instead of a bipolar who has gone through just about every bipolar medication typical and atypical now on the market. So I guess I’m living proof that he is either completely naive, has a personal or pharma agenda to propagate on those that suffer with mood disorders, or is just out of touch with the lived reality of those that live with bipolar disorder. Accepted Statistical data has shown 15-20 % of those with mood disorders that are either medication intolerant, or show no beneficial effects from their use. In my particular case I have now not only have bipolar disorder to try to keep under control without effective medication intervention, but also type 2 diabetes directly related to Seroquel use to add to this daily struggle ( so put that pipe and smoke it; as that fact weighs in on your theoretical suicide chart. There are countless other ways to live with bipolar without being medicated into a stupor and live with disabling side effects. I don’t want to come across as one those no medication at all cost fringe element wackos. I just happen to know that what is one bipolar’s blessing and an effective medication intervention, is a pill of utter poison for another bipolar in a similar situation. I get a little more than frustrated with these supposed know it all types, that haven’t taken these medications and live through the life threatening side effects that arise from their use. Of course I would be naive myself if I wasn’t concerned these dramatic changes in my health status have now increased my statically rick for suicide or dramatically shortened life span. So here I will insert an article comment I had featured on Liz Spikol’s Blog “The Trouble with Spikol”
Unfortunately there is no upside to the tragedy of suicide. There are the victims that leave us, and the victims that are left behind. Sadly there is more than enough anger and torment left behind to touch everyone involved. That goes with the so many unanswered questions of why? As we that are emotional attached to that person ask ourselves why didn’t I see this ugly event coming? It’s like questioning ourselves over something like a bad weather event or an earth quake that we have little or no power to control.
There are also those thought to be crowned selfish for what they feel; yet hold on to quite valid questions of why would someone that cared about me, and professed to love me: betray me in such a heartless and brutal fashion? All these emotions are valid, and will surely be felt in a broad spectrum of intensity and measure.
I heard so many times from those sitting in the bleachers as unattached on lookers; tauntingly grumbling from those seats so ardently and articulately that those that commit suicide are weak and take the easy way out. I happen to believe that is so far from the lived reality, and in all actuality light years from the horrific truth. I also have been to that perilous edge many times in my life, and know all too well the anguish and agony that grabbles your mind in that delusional gloominess dark, moronic, painful, hopeless, and fragile state of unbearable Hell.
As you do Liz; I have suicidal idealizations fairly often. I have learned through time and experience to embrace those times and draw strength from them; as if I was drawing buckets full of life giving water from the well of existence itself, renewing and quenching with vigor and fortitude the very thirst for this precious gift of continued breath.
There are no satisfactory summations to be made for the act of suicide; just the scattered ruins of one more life left unfulfilled, and those trying to understand and pick up the remnants of their shattered being which is never completely understood or fathomed with any true clarity or peaceful resolution in our very heart of hearts.
I guess our only hope in limiting this horrific and tragic outcome of self inflicted death is recognition, intervention, and prevention. The stark and cold reality is that neither of those options will ever be foolproof or effective in all situations. Which is sadly obvious by what the menacing data and statistics bear out on this act; whichever study you wish to believe as most accurate or valid, the numbers are still staggering.
So I find Oliver’s comments condescending, show enormous bias, and our ignorant in their very nature from Bipolarcentral.com.
I happen to be a unique individual, and refuse to fit into anyone’s box of future prediction of my demise. I reserve that natural and god given right to make my own personal choices thank you!
So if this supposed expert would like to debate this issue with a living bipolar who is off medications not by choice; but absolute necessity. I’m here waiting with baited and breathless anticipation for his enlightened argument to my daily breath. I just happen to believe he hasn’t a frigging clue about what’s he’s talking about! People are not statistics, but true living beings that are able to make healthy and conscious choices for their own well being. Thanks for continuing to pigeon hole us bipolar into the same old stigma/label creating box.
What’s next from Bipolarcentral.com? Are they going to make an informed argument to pre-natal and toddler bipolar diagnosis, and atypical anti psychotic medication use on that population also? Oliver, when you take these medications and suffer the consequences, you can come to me with your befuddling under informed hypothesis on this issue. I happen to know the stats on suicide and bipolar quite well; so please don’t blow that smoke up my posterior.
Obviously this comment has come from the walking dead! This is quite an amazing human trick even for an imaginative bipolar of unearthly abilities (The Mother ship has set laser zap mode to reality check pain wake up genre, and is tracking Oliver’s movements at this very moment LOL). I sure he is well intentioned in he obviously uniformed and ignorant conclusions, but so obviously wrong, and is propagating a fallacy to everyone that will listen. If your site is based on being a bipolar resource and educational forum; I don’t think I can in good conscious have anything to do with it with this misinformation you aspire to spread as set in stone and unequivocal truth, not allowing for any exceptions to your blind determinations, that lend both little credence and credibility too your misguided doctrine.
You’re true waking and typing Zombie:
Stan
Yes yes yes! What you said is so true!
My loved one has had a couple brushes of death due to not being on medication in the past. He tried to kill himself when he was 18. Hes had cops think he was dangerous because he was running around town in his underwear manic and they almost killed him. Hes been manic and was convinced that he didnt need to look at the road to drive. He almost got both of us in an accident while he was driving manic. a few years before he met me he had unprotected sex with a random person (he doesnt remember it now but he told people about it while he was manic and they told him about it when he got better)he could have gotten a deadly STD. He talked about suicide when he was in an episode too (sadly the hospital still had no room for him so me and his parents had to babysit him and watch him at ALL times).
Last time Grady was manic one of our friends told us he knew someone who had bipolar and cured it by doing a bunch of acid. I was so mad but we managed to cut that person out of our life right away. It also seemed strange to me that he only really wanted to come around while Grady was manic and I later found out he said horrible things about me to my manic fiance which must have contributed to him being so much more difficult to deal with than his usual episodes. He thought I was out to hurt him.
Good advice is that if you know someone who only comes around when your loved one is manic then they are probably up to no good.
This makes me so thankful that hes really happy taking his meds now and he REALLY doesnt want to go into an episode. A couple weeks ago he started having trouble sleeping and we went straight to the doctors. They increased his meds a bit and now hes sleeping great.
Also remember that manic episodes cause brain damage. Multiple manic episodes will affect your ability to learn new things and it affects your memory. Meds can prevent that damage and even repair some of the damage.
I posted before I read the comments to I just want to say something to Stan.
I heave heard of many bipolar people who have had bad reactions to every medication. A lot of them resorted to Electric shock treatments and it made it so they reacted well to a small amount of medication without side effects. You should go back to the doctor and see what options you have. Especially if you have huge manic episodes. Manic episodes always end in trauma, confusion and pain.
My boyfriend is truly going through bipolar wars at present and I’m not sure if this episode has been caused by his experiment of not taking his meds for just 4 days and then going back on. Or could it be that the meds have worked well for a while and now need to be re-assessed? It can be like that with drugs like anti-biotics, which work well at first and the next time you’re prescribed them for the same condition they don’t work and give you side effects you didn’t get the first time. I know many people on this blog have often mentioned that it’s difficult to find the right cocktail of meds for bipolar. Sometimes they work for a while and then they don’t.
My boyfriend was ok until he started meddling with his meds about 3 weeks ago. His episodes were minor. It all started with him being in “happy hypomania” and not taking his meds for 4 days because he wanted to stay “up there.” It only took a couple of days to come crashing down. When he went back to the doctor and back on his meds he seemed to be in what I thought was a mixed episode (very productive as well as depressed and alternating between cheerfulness and rage. He has also been preaching a lot and talking religious. I have to bite my tongue, as I’m not religious and none of this makes sense to me. However, he seemed to be stabilising and I thought “Ok, eventually he will come out of this and be himself again.”
I remember not long after I first met him he told me that he gets religious when he is manic. I have not seen him manic until today! Last night he was a little restless, talking a lot and fast, otherwise ok and we had a good time together. He told me his ex had been snooping around again yesterday and got him wound up. Earlier today he pours his heart out to me and vents about people who upset him and says a lot of things I could agree with. Then he tells me things that don’t make sense. Then all the religious stuff again. He has been sent to earth by God to save the human race and people didn’t like him and gave him a hard time because they didn’t believe that he was God’s special ambassador on a very special mission, etc. If I hadn’t discovered Dave’s website and emails to explain what bipolar can do, I would have been one of those people and definitely thought my man was crazy. He tells me all that and I listen and say nothing. He gets paranoid about certain people who are “out to destroy him.” Then suddenly he bursts into tears! Then asks me if I would look after his dog if he had to go into hospital, as he would trust no-one else. Of course I would! It seemed at that moment he was aware that something was wrong with him. I am very worried again, as it looks like he is going to have a breakdown. I have no authority to get him psychiatric help and if I was the cause of his hospitalisation, I know he would never forgive me. His next appointment with the psychiatrist is next week and I hope and pray that he can hold out until then. I also hope the psych will find a way of re-assessing his meds and stabilise him. This mixed episode is the worst I have ever witnessed.
My partner said he has been diognosed with bipolor, he said he has had it along time and didn’t know he had it.
He was on a very stong dose of ani-depressions,before he found out he had bipolor but that didn’t stop him from trying to commit sueiside. He started to feel better before we met and he when he went off the medication by himself bofore, but then after a year off them he started haveing health problems, I assumed it was because of too much medication he had taking that caused the health problems as I would much rather him have a more natural alternative, if there is one. The doctor had told him that he should not have gone off it as it was bad for his health, he needed to weened off it slowly as it was far too dangerous to that, which is why he is having all these health problems now. It’s sad and Im sad for him, I wonder if it inherited like many other deseases. How ever I now realise and understand how important it is for the need to take medication as you never really seem to get over a long term depression like bipolar, you have to take it for life. So I thank you for your information.
I was finally diagnosed bipolar a few years ago, after I got clean and sober. I guess that made it easier for the docs to figure out what was going on.
I can see where stopping bipolar medications can result in dire consequences. My best thinking isn’t all that good when left to my own devices.
What I discovered, before dire consequences take hold there are lots of other things that happen. I become angry and irritable, taking those things out on the people around me. My spending habits go awry. I become impulsive in many ways. The world is my punching bag and all its people convenient targets.
Today I have a conscience. I don’t want to hurt others. I have to be responsible for my actions and for me, that means well before I commit an act I must have done my best to commit the right acts. Not taking my meds is like loading a gun and letting an irresponsible person “play” with it. Allowing those circumstances to come to pass is reckless at best. I don’t want to be reckless today.
I would like to have a choice about my death. Like most people, I wouldn’t like it to be painful or with much suffering. Maybe this illness is actually karma and good deeds can make the difference. As for medication, how can we be sure they will always be available (money, supply, etc.) For what I have read it is no sure that the medication one is having will be helpful in the future. Psychiatric medication is very expensive and I am unable to predict if I’ll be able to support my dosis, so I better be prepared for whatever might come and accept the fact that my dying may not be an act of my own will.
I have bi-polar disorder, and would never dream of going off my meds. The medication has given me a better life than I ever thought possible! I have been suicidal on a few occasions and had to keep having my meds adjusted. It’s true; a person with bi-polar WILL die without their meds. I have also tried to kill myself on one occasion, and the reason was a demanding family and not being on the right medication.
Hi David,
Why do you have ESP??? I have had a lot of homework, excuse #1, I gave it to my Daughter, excuse #2, they made my legs go nuts, excuse #3, I am a mess, I had to show my son how much money was comeing in, he freaked there is no excuse I could pay for the house, fuck the credit but still didnt. The bipo is going you do not want to be a guinni pig, and one of my friends said he was glad I was back, but i am not here. I cant call the doc because, no reason I was tricked. Too much guilt, stress, it will not let me pick up your book but it is letting me email you like ha can you believe this shit I was lost yesterday in places I know like the back of my hand I showed up for an appt. a day early. I feel evil, out of control like spaced, I was doing so good and I do not know what to do but I do I need to call my doc and get the meds changed but I do not have any money but I know if there is a will there is a way I can not find the way, I have been here in the town where my house is lost driving fucking lost, what part of the game is this and why do you always seem to know, this no my mind is going so fast i have to go.
Karen or not
My name is Lynn, and Ilive w/Bipolar II Disorder. I agree w/what Dave was talking abt. today, as in late Dec. I was hit w/a wicked depression that hospitalized me for nearly a month. During that time, while the docs were trying to adjust my meds, I ALMOST lost my will to live. During one visit w/my children (my son had flown in from across the country to be w/us!), I finally broke down, cried, and my younger dau., 20, said, ‘Mom, I don’t want you to die!’ That was the turning point for me. And I’m very grateful for my Medicare Part D prescription coverage, cuz some of the meds I take (some are for other medical reasons, too) are VERY EXPENSIVE. I consider that I’ve been given another chance to LIVE my life. Thanks for listening.
Hey Stan,
My husband hung himself (not on Meds) my daughter is very ill, I will not kill myself because mommy is a homicidial bipo bitch. I will keep this short for you Stan because you are in the wrong fucking house, and you do not have a fucking clue and you probably cant fucking read and retain, FUCK OFF STAN, this blog is a possitive one, David has saved me from a lengthy prison sentance and my daughter’s worst. I got your back David, Leave us Stan, go look in the mirror at the ugly oozzing out of you and cry like a bitch, might free that brain up of yours so you can actually think, Fuck head.
Dave sorry for the bad laguage I did call the doc. for that tune up If I do not call them by 1:00 tomarrow they will sent out the head-hunters. What the fuck is a stan anyway? lol lol
Hello . I suggest one to get peace in mind …maybe life.
I tried one thing to get peace in my mind.
At first , we make some plan in a day or before we act something.
And next we obey the plan that we’ve planed before .
At last we execute the plans.
Then we can do things with order you’ve planed in brain with order you’ve already planned.
I mean, action with order will give us peace in our each mind.
Thanks pls try.
Thanks to this trial I could get peace in normal life yestereday.
What can I say? LOL Karen just when I think it’s not possible for someone to be that ignorant and rude; I find myself cacophonously unsurprised by it. This David fellow is obviously just another profiteer and charlatan misusing data and God’s name in the name of pure greed. Those types always suck in the most vulnerable and weak. How about trying to defend this absolute fantastical hypocrisy stated on this site and blog with some real rational and realistic arguments, instead of the folly of emotionally based ignorance you display so well. Oh, that’s right; you are not up to anything more than ranting vulgarity. May God bless you eternally for your caring, thoughtful, and loving demeanor!
Yours Truly
Stan
PS if you’re at all interested in the truth, some real data, and debate; visit “Furious Seasons Blog” for a little better insight into bipolar, and how the medical model of treatment is but a pharmaceutical promotion for profit (personal comment), not all about your well being and treatment: and definitely not the all mighty end all of end alls for thoughtless sheep like yourself believe it is hyped up to be.
David you are very much in the right. I struggled with this allot when I first was diagnosed, at 22. I was raised in a family that believed, for the most part, mental/mood problems were things you could just “get over”. So pills for these problems were a bunch of bull. After my Type II rapid cycling diagnosis the constant meds seemed overwhelming. This was when struggle with meds started. They worked and well, so after a few months I felt great. “I don’t need to take them, because I’m better.” Or so I thought. I did this over and over for a few years. Finally I stopped taking them all together. That led down a long road of drugs, jail and life risking lifestyle. Then I lost control of my very violent temper and hurt somebody very badly. That was my bottom and knew I needed help. I went back to the doctor and my therapist and got straightened out. Meds along with support saved me from an early end. I have now been stable for the last four years and finishing up my psychology degree. So if anybody made it through my rambling story, please listen to me… TAKE YOUR MEDS as prescribed! On and off doesn’t work and if you aren’t taking them then it will catch you at some point.
I have been on Lithium sucess-fully for 20+ years! I twice have been mild-ly toxic at 2.4I had been down with the flu and a 102 Temp and deler-ious. this! My husband found me after work, slouched in the tub, with a high delerious fever. I am newly Diabetic on an oral medication thagt worked adversely. I in the hospital had a Lithium level of 3.5! I didn’t even know my doctor of 20+ years! My husband was told to spend as much time with me as possible and was given only hours! That is as close to the Pearly Gates as I want to come for no!
i HAVE ALWAYS KEPT TRACK OF MY lITHIUM lEVELS AND ALL DOCTOR VISITS. tHIS HELPS ALOT!
Barbs
, new |Diabetic with oral medica-tion I reacted to. I h
David you are very much in the right. I struggled with this allot when I first was diagnosed, at 22. I was raised in a family that believed, for the most part, mental/mood problems were things you could just “get over”. So pills for these problems were a bunch of bull. After my Type II rapid cycling diagnosis the constant meds seemed overwhelming. This was when struggle with meds started. They worked and well, so after a few months I felt great. “I don’t need to take them, because I’m better.” Or so I thought. I did this over and over for a few years. Finally I stopped taking them all together. That led down a long road of drugs, jail and life risking lifestyle. Then I lost control of my very violent temper and hurt somebody very badly. That was my bottom and knew I needed help. I went back to the doctor and my therapist and got straightened out. Meds along with support saved me from an early end. I have now been stable for the last four years and finishing up my psychology degree. So if anybody made it through my rambling story, please listen to me… TAKE YOUR MEDS as prescribed! On and off doesn’t work and if you aren’t taking them then it will catch you at some point.
I have to agree and it is very hard to get off the meds too. I am weaning myself off of seroquel and it is because of the sie effects.I am now a diabetic,,,,,have a high liver count and its caused by the seroquel so why would I wanna stay on that?? My head is a mess. I would like to go on lethium bet I have to be done with the seroquel. I am also being weaned off of cymbalta over to prozac. All I can say is Bipolar really s*cks
Sometimes…everytime I decide to post and read comments on this blog, I have to take a xanax. So Sometimes I stay away for a few days.
Stan I can’t help but nod my head at what you wrote. It was very eloquent. It makes me feel guilty because I don’t like conflict. I think Dave is trying to help…but I sometimes feel suspicious. I think my intelligence is insulted sometimes when I read some of this. I come off sounding like an idiot when I try to be diplomatic. I really enjoy some of the personalities here.
Ok so I don’t have much room to talk though because I just made a mini attempt on tuesday, thinking I’ll make up my mind to take even more meds based on how I feel in an hour. In half an hour I called poison controll, I took 16x the proper dosage but I have a tolerance to it. They advised going to the hospital but I took something else like adrenalin, anyway I was fine through the night. My husband was so disappointed, and that was heartbreaking, he woke up and checked on me all night, I was oblivious.
I am just now comming out of the haze and slightly manic (my coworkers can tell). Anyway I understand Stan because I have tried countless, medications and have not had any success. Side effects ranging from gaining 30 lbs AFTER I had a baby, to the Lamictal “death rash” and had to be on steroids, then taking something else that made me worse and physically unable to cope, it was like I had the worst flu ever, all the time.
Now what do I do? I have been off the conventional BP meds since November, and it hasn’t been easy. I truly believe that if I could find a nutritional balance, I would be able to at least be more stable.
I stopped forwarding these emails to my husband, because I really don’t want to focus on having BP ALL the time. I can’t blame every little problem on it anymore. I have an accountabilaty, just like everyone else. Maybe just a little harder to controll.
Anyway I keep saying I would rather feel physically healthy than mentally. I have enough health issues to deal with. The medications I have been put on would have killed me very soon if My Pdoc didn’t warn me about what to watch for. Then when I lost my insurance she stopped seeing me, she said, because I told her a lot of my episodes seemed to be set off by hormones, so I should go to an OB.
I do think very logically so it may be easier for me to…controll myself, than someone who has a more emotionally based mind.
I have an appointment on Tuesday with my regular MD and I will probably discuss some options with him. I am a little lost. I know I need to work something out before I have to be admitted again. Anyway mixed feelings. I now have to decide that I don’t care that people may hate me and hit the Publish your comment button before I erase everything.
Sara,
MED. management is a real ordeal.IT’s kind of a guessing game for patient and doctor.Open the PDR,maybe this one will work!!!lol.Not. It’s actually very frustrating until you begin to see results.. Usaually 6-8 weeks.Atleast we have options.
my ordeal with meds began at 14, and what a hard pill that was to swallow.MEdications 4ever. sick in the head 4ever.WHy did my mother have children ,knowing this could happen to them. Like life isn’t tough enough already!!!IT gets better as you do. Hang tough! Godspeed
your absolutely right on taking the meds prescribed for bipolar.Your Dr should be notified if meds dont seem to be working as there are so many meds for this disorder. my husband was bipolar{deceased last year from cancer} and was on many meds but 2 that helped the most were 2 anti seizure meds but used for bipolar. My daughter is bipolar also & is on one of these meds which help her. Corinne
Hi David and all:
Well put, but I have to disagree because there is a “margin of error” or “exception to the rule” in everything and I just read a blog from a female who sounded just like my ex, except he doesn’t go to school as she does. He basically hides from the world by having a little raggedy trailer parked (without electric, running water, etc.) at a rock quarry where he can work when he needs the money to survive. And that is all he does “survive”. He is 58 y/o and has never been teated, never will be treated and sees nothing wrong with himself mentally at all. But he does notice the physical problems. His way of life and age has started to really cause problems for him. He will not apply for any type of help (SSI, State Aid, etc.) to get medical paid for him to see a doctor and get medication for the physical problems because that’s just another way for the Government to keep tabs on him. His paranoid delusions will not let him see how insignificant he really is to our Government. He never makes enough money to have to file income tax, so what does he think the Gov’t wants with him? I have no idea, but if you ask him he will easily come up with a dozen reasons. So, yes BPD without proper meds does kill, except my ex is not suicidal, just too blinded by mental illness to get help for his physical problems, therefore he is self-destructing.
I wholeheartedly agree with your statements about medication. I have a loaded family history and therefore, have many family members who struggle with diagnosed and undiagnosed BP. I recently had to call an emergency mental health organization for my brother because he is not on meds and was suicidal over a break up. He is self-medicating with alcohol, and knows he should be on medication, but won’t take it. I also recently visited a cousin who checked himself into a facility for dual diagnosis, a cousin who I hadn’t seen in about 10 years. I wanted to prove to him that you can live a happy, productive, positive life on meds and proper treatment and gave him all the advice I could to inspire him to take the disorder seriously. Point blank, I told him: IF YOU LEAVE HERE AND DON’T TAKE MY ADVICE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE EARLY. My loaded family history is full of early death, and substance abuse. Unfortunately, it seems that he has chosen to continue to abuse substances and take the wrong path. So, yes Dave, I agree with you: IF YOU DO NOT MANAGE YOUR BP AND TAKE MEDS YOU WILL DIE. IT IS A LETHAL DISEASE OF THE BRAIN.
Dave – This is all TOO true. There was a young man in my Lithium Group (a failed med student), who, when he occasionally went off his meds, would come to Group and just ramble on and on about nothing. All of us in the Group could tell he was “off.”
Well, ultimately, he figured he was “cured,” and went off them for good. A few months later, we learned that he had killed himself. Such a waste of a great mind. There’s no saying what he would have accomplished if he had LIVED ON his meds; but at least, he would be ALIVE.
As a person with bipolar, it’s all too easy to start to feel better ON your meds, and suddenly decide you don’t need them any more. THIS is the LIE. You are so right when you say the meds are in your system when you go off of them; and you are also right when you say we will “CRASH.” It’s the cyclic nature of the disorder.
At first, your creativity heightens. But – your religious delusions start, and suddenly, you’re god. It feels so GOOD and so RIGHT. But – your MIND is deceiving you, because of the chemical imbalance that was there to begin with. And sometimes, in the resulting mania, irritability starts, and the slightest thing can “tick you off.” Then, by the percentages, you become VIOLENT, and like Graham_M says, you go looking for someone to “take it out on.” If you don’t wind up in jail – you MAY wind up DEAD.
To ALL bipolar survivors – STAY ON YOUR MEDS. If you want a religious answer – the Devil will deceive your mind and take over – and the Devil is the Father of Lies, looking for someone to devour.
Listen to that “still, small voice” that only tells you GOOD things – and PLEASE take your meds. If not for YOUR sake, then for MINE.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. Please pray for Susan as she goes through a tough time. And save a little prayer for me, as I nevigate some pretty rough financial circumstances. Thank you.
You’re right about one thing – we are all going to die.
This is true whether we decide to take large amounts of dangerous psychiatric medication for long periods of time, or seek alternative treatment options.
The only real question is what quality of life we have while we’re here.
Our conventional psychiatric model doesn’t have a very good track record. There are others that do much better.
I would encourage people to stop talking about death, and start seeing if you can enjoy living a bit more, by finding holistic treatment methods that do more than ‘manage illness’.
There are many outside the monopoly of the medical system we’ve created for those with ‘mental illness’.
You’re right about another thing – nobody should ever get off meds quickly – Read ‘Your Drug May Be Your Problem – How and Why to Stop Taking Psychiatric Medication’ by Peter Breggin, MD.
And, take it easy on this ‘you’re gonna die’ stuff…..
Duane Sherry, M.S., CRC
http://discoverandrecover.wordpress.com
“Dr Paul Fink, past president of the American Psychiatric Association, has acknowledged that Lyme disease can contribute to every psychiatric disorder in the Diagnostic Symptoms Manual IV (DSM-IV). Lyme borreliosis causes, mimics, is manifested as, is misdiagnosed as, or is a contributing factor to many conditions.”
Very important for anyone with “bi-polar disorder” to rule out Lyme disease as the causing factor. The drugs in need may actually be antibiotics rather than complex psychiatric medications.
http://lymefighters.org/neuropsychiatric_symptoms
Late-stage lyme disease symptom: bi-polar disorder
http://www.chroniclymedisease.com/
a.. Severe Headaches, brain fog, and confusion
b.. Neck Stiffness
c.. Meningitis
d.. Encephalitis
e.. Neuropathy
f.. Dizziness
g.. Cardiac Irregularities, arrhythmia, and pain
h.. Depression and seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
i.. Anxiety, panic attacks, and social withdrawal
j.. Memory Loss, poor concentration
k.. Schizophrenia, paranoia
l.. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
m.. Bipolar Disorder, manic depression
n.. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & Fibromyalgia
o.. Numbness and Tingling
p.. arthritis and arthritic symptoms
I have an in-law who has recently been diagnosed with Bipolar. Apparently, she had this illness some 35 years ago. No one but her husband knew. Apparently, one day she decided not to take them anymore, believing she didn’t need them. Well, guess what, she ended up in hospital recently, after a manic episode. This nearly severed her relationship with her daughter and caused some behavioural problems with her young grandson, who witnessed the episode. I only hope that she consults her doctor if she decides to stop taking them again, because you’re right, those who are on the medication do feel they are okay and can control the illness on their own. If only they realised that self control is no longer an option if you are Bipolar.
My daughter is very faithful about taking her meds. She worries me because she thinks of them as magic pills. she needs to understand that there are things she still needs to do to help herself. My daughter is 18 and a wonderful person. Warning to any parent with a teen w/ BP. Drinking and meds do not mix. My daughter also died from the mix and the help of a stupid boyfriend.
I’m posting early tonight, as I have to go out. At least I feel like I “have to go out”, see other friends for a few hours and get my mind off things. If I had bipolar myself I’m sure I would have flipped by now, as I’m very very stressed. With all the menopausal crap I’m going through I may flip if I’m not careful. I’m crying a lot and this blog is my best therapy, but I need to get out tonight.
SUZANNE, you said mania starts with heightened creativity, then religious delusions and then something worse: irritability, possibly violence.
My boyfriend had the “heightened creativity” and is now going through the “religious delusions”. He believes he is not quite God, but God’s special ambassador sent to earth to save the human race. The other day he was raving, then crying all over me. I nearly thought he was going to have a breakdown there and then. Yesterday he seemed much better, didn’t mention God at all and was happier, much more himself again. But I think I said my “thank you” prayer too soon. Today he was in a bad way again. He is taking his meds, but also told me he has been drinking a lot last night. That’s obviously what’s causing the problem. He doesn’t have to be tea-total. He used to be perfectly ok having a couple of drinks now and then. At the moment he has a number of people “winding him up” and stressing him out. Then he hits the bottle and gets into a terrible state.
GRAHAM, what you describe is scary as well. My boyfriend isn’t a violent type, but I couldn’t trust the bipolar and would never know what it might make him do next, as at present it is controlling him. Yesterday he loved everything and everyone. Today he is full of anger and despair again, and I had better keep out of the firing line.
You said that Bipolar 1’s are blissfully unaware of what they are doing. From what I have noticed, quite often he doesn’t know what he is doing or saying and / or forgets it afterwards and then apologises. This afternoon he seemed sort of half aware. Ranting and raving and saying “sorry” in between. He went home early and said he needs to rest – seemed to be getting away before he would upset anyone again. He told me he had thrown his phone away (hope that’s not true) and he might come and see me later tonight. Maybe it’s better if he doesn’t come over tonight, unless he has had a rest and is feeling much better.
I am worried that if this episode is going on much longer, he is going to have a breakdown and end up in the psych ward. I only wish I could help to prevent something bad happening to him, but often feel totally powerless.
Dear Nightlady:
My heart goes out to you as you have so much on your plate to deal with. Sounds like your boyfriend is what I have heard called a rapid cycler. My daughter, husband, and I are all rapid cyclers too when we are Manic (my whole house right now is in the manic stage, including me). It is a battle for me to keep my myself fairly stable, as I am also still in menopause. I took HRT thru the worst of it and now I still have moods swings, night sweats and hot flashes (do not know which one is causing it, BPD or menopause, or both). But I wanted to let you know that my heart and Prayers go out to you as well as to all who I know suffer. Apparently your boyfriend needs to see his Psych ASAP to get to the root of the drinking problem. My experience with drinking and BPD meds is not a very pretty picture the next day so I no longer drink, but I have certainly been there and usually depression was the culprit. Another thing I have noticed in my experience with people with BDP is the mania seems to follow the changing of the seasons. Especially from winter to spring and from fall into winter seems to create the worst Manic episodes. My ex would get into a Manic episode and his would last for months, up and down and all around but more down than anything and very hurtful to me physically and mentally before I got pregnant and threatened him to not lay a hand on me again. I forgot to mention the mental anguish he caused so from that point on to even now, and we have been divorced for about 15 years, I still get some mental abuse from him, if it is only a badgering phone call. He has never been treated for his Bi-polar and probably never will, so you got the upper hand there, you can make sure that you will not be abused when your boyfriend is in Manic stage simply by letting him know that you will not put up with it. So hang in there and convince him to go to his Psych and he will be fine, I am sure. As for menopause, like I said I took premarin for a while (HRT) but my sister-in-law used soy products and said she did just fine with it. It is a matter of personal preference and Medical background what you can use to help yourself thru the worst of menopause. I did HRT because I was almost in the final stage of emphysema anyways so I didn’t see where breast cancer would be a major issue for me since I am dying a slow death. My sister-in-law has a family history of breast cancer so she opted for the soy and I think there are more options available to help ease the suffering we women must endure. So good luck to you on that one. Sorry I am rambling on and on but as I said I am in a Manic episode and I also use this blog for therapeutic reasons. Goodbye for now and lots of Prayers for you and your boyfriend. Helen
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This is the best column I’ve seen from you, really!
I’ve been diagnosed 17 years & after surviving one very chaotic manic
episode, I promised myself and my
family never ever to stop taking my medication again. I have accepted that I will take medication for the rest of my life; this is part of who I am; this is how God made me.
Regards,
JAK
South Carolina
HELEN, thank you for your kind and helpful words. I haven’t seen him at all today, but someone told me he was ok. I have to leave him be at the moment. Not much I can do while his phone is switched off.
Interesting what you say about the changing of the seasons. The weather has always affected me and recently it has been peculiar. I have often said that the weather in the British Isles is rapid cycling bipolar! If it was warm and sunny (like this time last year) I’m sure it would cheer me up. However, I have not noticed the weather affecting my boyfriend in that way, but I think the phases of the moon may have something to do with it. It’s a fact that the moon affects a woman’s moods during her menstrual cycle. Everything is heightened when the moon is full or nearly full. The worst flooding periods I had were always during a full moon. Otherwise during a full moon I feel particularly sexy and sleep even less than at other times. I remember during the last full moon we were both a bit “high” and full of energy. It was around that time he meddled with his meds. Tonight I feel neither sexy nor creative, just highly emotional and very stressed. All the menopausal stuff doesn’t help, but the positive side of it is that one day it will all be over and never happen again and I will be healthier and full of energy. My boyfriend on the other hand, will continue to have episodes. But hopefully he will have his meds adjusted and there won’t be another one quite as bad.
Dear Nightlady:
How true all you say is. The moon does effect everybody’s mood. But the season’s changing do too. We have the same type of “rapid cycling BPD weather here too in what is referred to as “the Inland Northwest”. We live far enough from the Pacific Coast to not have rain all the time and at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains so we see plenty of snow and right now we can have a run of a few days at 60 F and the next week more snow! I have seen some snow fall on the 4th of July! And with the weather changing so quickly so do the moods of the ones with Bi-polar. I can only speak of the US as I have never been out of North America, Mexico and Canada for short periods of time. And after you do get thru this menopause, but sometimes I think it never ends, lol, you will most likely feel better than you have in your life without having periods to make your life miserable. When I got pregnant it was truly a miracle. I was doomed by doctors as never being able to bear children and when I did get pregnant they also found cancer of the cervix. I would most likely have died at a very young age as I had a clean Pap Smear a few months prior, but my OB insisted I have another as routine prenatal care. The cancer was very aggressive, and since I waited until I had a problem to go to a doctor, it would have probably progressed to the point of incurable. So when my daughter was 7 weeks old and my 33rd birthday gift was a hysterectomy. And after I healed I felt better than I had since this whole “woman thing” had started. No more anemia. I had so much more energy (until my emphysema knocked me down) that I was amazed! And you do have that to look forward to but unfortunately you still have the wild mood swings and all that stuff that comes with it to go thru. Know that my heart and my Prayers are with you and your boyfriend as you each “have your crosses to bear”. I am sure that once your boyfriend gets his meds back to level he is supposed to have, he will be the man you love so dearly. Good luck and God Speed.
Helen
Dave, You are 100% correct, and I agree from personal experience With you 100%. I APPLAUD YOUR STAND because you know all of the ends and outs of this disoreder…all of them. If people choose not to listen to you, it’s on them. If you get hate mail, after reading enough to know that’s what it is, I would just trash it without finishing it. Criticism isn’t the important thing; the lives that you are saving and attempting to save with your whole heart is. God bless you for it!!! Marni
Dear David,
I know getting off medication is not a choice for me. I have tried a number of times to cut back. It does not work. I worry what the medication is doing to my system. I have people tell me why if I am on meds. why am I still having trouble? I have been on so much medication. Have tried everything I think. I have seen many Dr.s and did not have much luck. I have found one that understands this disorder. I wonder what normal was like.Eight years is a long time. No one I am around understands. My family does not want to understand. There is so much on the net that they could go to. I feel at times that they don’t understand and wonder why me. It is not talked about much. If they ask me how I am they do not know what to say. I stay away when things are bad. They just make light of it. I really have no support system. I guess everyone thinks it will just go away. My Mom is now telling me that what I watch on t.v. is not good for me. Is there any truth in this? I can not remember what my life was like before this.
I hope your Mom is doing well.
Take care of yourself and keep information coming. Rhetta
Dave,
you are right if you donttake your meds. you will die or at least crash big time. i know from experience… i would get tired of taking my meds. or start “feeling” better and quiet takingt my meds. then i would try to kill myself, & end up in the psy. ward 10x worse off than before. YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR MEDS. AS PRESCRIBED EVERYDAY… HAVING BI-POLOR IS NO DIFFERENT TAN DIABETIES OR ANY OTHER MEDICAL CONDITION…
You’re right, Dave. My husband was told to get off his meds, he did and after 2 wks tried to kill himself. We will never let him do that again!
Thanks to Helen, Graham, Liz, Susie and everyone for good advice. My boyfriend is still in an episode, but seems to have calmed down a little since he has been staying with me. Hopefully this will improve things gradually. He is still God’s special ambassador and doing my head in. For the moment he doesn’t want to know anyone else and I have a big task here. He will read Dave’s emails and articles when he feels like it. However, he may not be too happy with me talking about him on these blogs and I may lose his trust, if he knew. You may not hear from me for a while, as I’m obviously busy. No news is good news. i will keep in touch when I can.
Dear Nightlady:
I wish my daughter would be God’s something. Yesterday she was all over the world in her mind threatening to take a knife to her arm as she knows that if she were to die that would most likely be the end of me. She is my only child and we are very close, co-dependent, I believe it is called. She has an app’t with her Psych today and I am up at 1 AM worrying about what she will be like today. Love, Prayers and good luck for you even more so now as it sounds like you are going to have a trying time on your hands for a while. I have no idea what the time difference is between us but if you need to talk and have Yahoo Instant Messenger just add angryaswipe to your list and let me know you are Nightlady. I live on PDT in the good old USA. I thought I was going to loose it when I was in the highest thralls of menopause and all the Bi-polar things going on but I made it so far and I believe you are strong enough to make it too. Probably with the hours you keep and mine we can get together that way and your boyfriend will never know the difference. I can be here for you, if you want or need. With lots of love and Prayers for you and your boyfriend, Helen
I went off my meds for 6 months, and if my parents hadn’t caught on and brought me home, I would not be here. You are exactly right. Others are saying this is “fear mongering,” or that there are natural supplements that will heal us. I was placed with a therapist trainee who told me on our first meeting that her goal was to get me off my meds. I turned her in to the management of the community mental health center. At this time There Is No Other Option! Some day maybe. But right now, unfortunately with a bipolar diagnosis, you WILL be on meds for the rest of your life. Once you are diagnosed get a counselor or join a group to deal with this fact. Sign a contract saying you will not go off your meds at any time. I’m just speaking from experience and I take this really seriously.
astramillie
astramillie.wordpress.com
DAVID,i think you were right on the mark with this one as i’m recovered i know i would slip back without taking the meds.it’s taken me 14yrs to stablize. i wish luck to everyone who is suffering keep going as the future might not look bright but from one who recoved there is light at the end of the tunnel. sam
Hi
I just wanted to say that I was Dxd with Bipolar 1 in 1989. I was force medicated until 1990 for my own good.
Then I used the existing mental health patient’s bill of rights to file a petition of habeas corpus and I argued with a judge who agreed I did not have to be force medicated anymore.
I STOPPED taking MEDS for Bipolar in 1990 and today in 2008 I am STILL ALIVE
can you believe it?
intentions: It is certainly your right to not take meds for bi-po but wouldn’t you rather be fairly stable than up and down and all around, never knowing where you are going to be landing mentally?
HelenM? I beg your pardon but I am not up down and all over the place.
Sure I spent a few years in my late teens and early 20s cycling again and again. That is because no one ever taught me how to control my thoughts and emotions.
So I studied meditation with a master. At first I could not keep my racing thoughts still for even a minute. Eventually all the darkness and depression came out to.
I stuck with it. I kept meditating. I quit my job, aborted my career, held off on relationships and just meditated for thousands of hours.
In time I grew stable connections in my prefrontal cortex. They have PET scans of people meditating and what happens to them.
Over the course of a few years, first the depression went away. Then finally the mania.
I can now meditate without interruption in total stillness for days at a time.
I have not been psychotic, manic, depressed, suicidal, self harming or delusional in over ten years.
So it’s not really sporting to just automatically assume that because I am not medicated to the gills I must be suffering uncontrolled bipolar.
I use to, definitely.
But that’s long gone.
Didn’t anyone ever tell you there were alternatives to psych meds Helen?
I guess you have to hit rock bottom and stay there for awhile to realize that pills are not curing your problems and you had better try something else.
To intentions:
Please forgive me as I didn’t mean to insult you. I am very glad that you are able to control your Bi-po without being a slave to the drug companies, but you are the exception to the rule, I am afraid. I know people with Bi-po who are not treated, but they have a rather different life than the norm as they get reclusive when they know they are going to hurt someone if they allow themselves into the public, it is not a very pleasant life they lead at all and if you can control yours by meditation, then I say more power to you!!!!
Marni are you still getting comments from this blog to your email? If so then please reply to this blog and let us (me, Tanya, and Donna) know how you are doing, ok? Really would like to hear from you and Gunzee so please respond if you get this!!!!