Hi, how’s it going for you? I hope it’s going good.

Remember I told you about the discussion with the woman who argued with me that I couldn’t know how she feels? And my counter-argument that one bipolar supporter can so understand what another bipolar supporter is going through? Well, I’ve been thinking about that.

I’m thinking that maybe I’m wrong. Maybe bipolar disorder is so individualized that we can’t know what each other is going through with our loved ones.

Do you think that there is absolutely no one out there who could possibly understand what you’re going through with your loved one? Because I do think some supporters do feel that way. But I still insist that there is more in common with each other than just a support group meeting.

For example, each of our loved ones has to take medication for their bipolar disorder every day, don’t they? We may vary in our situations depending on whether the taking of their meds is an issue or not, but at least that is similar.

But remember how mad I told you this woman got at the support group just because I said, “I know how you feel”? Well, like I said, I am wondering if the point is that: Looking from the outside in, none of us can judge another person’s circumstances. That’s my point. I think that’s true.

We might have to deal with the same issues, but deep inside, I don’t know how you’re feeling unless you tell me. So what that says to me is that we need to be more patient with other supporters who might have other opinions than us. Other supporters who might do things differently than we do. Other supporters who are perhaps dealing with more serious issues than we are, like hospitalization, or waiting on Social Security.

Other supporters who deal with things with their loved one that we don’t have to deal with – maybe just family issues.

For example, one couple might have children involved, whereas another couple might not. So their circumstances are going to be different.

There’s also a difference between supporting a child and an adult. And between living with the person and not living with them. In whether the loved one is a spouse, friend, co-worker, sister or brother, aunt or uncle or parent.

Here’s the big point to all of this: From the outside looking in, we don’t really know what’s going on with another supporter (unless they tell us). But we do know what’s going on in our own situation.

If there weren’t some generalities involved with being a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, then there wouldn’t be so much information on the disorder out there now, like my courses.

As individual as each case is, however, some things are non- disputable.

Two things –

1. If your loved one wants to get stable, they must take their medication every day

and as prescribed.

2. They need to have a doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist, or even all three, who is

following them for their disorder.

I guess there’s a third thing, too. They need to have a good supporter, like you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave