Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.
Have you ever heard the phrase “Make do with what you have”? Well, for some people this has to be taken in a very literal way. I heard a story at one point of someone who was living in a homeless shelter.
All they had to use was plastic utensils, and they didn’t always have a full set of those, either. Sometimes they had to stir coffee with a knife because they didn’t have a spoon, or spread butter with a fork because they didn’t have a knife.
Sometimes they had to grab something hot with a towel, blanket, or a bunch of napkins, because they didn’t have any hot pad holders. Sometimes they had to cook pancakes in muffin pans, because someone else was using the pan. Sometimes they had to boil stuff in the microwave because the stove was already being used.
But they didn’t let any of that get them down. They kept pressing on, until they got to the point that they could get themselves out of the mess they were in.
Sometimes people who have bipolar disorder and their supporters also have to make do with what they have. If you are a supporter, this might mean that you have to make do with the amount of patience you have been granted. You need to recognize when you’ve reached your limit, and when you need to ask for help. You also need to recognize when you can keep going on, no matter how hard it may seem.
This might also mean that you have to make do with the coping skills that you currently have. Now, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t learn more. In fact, you should always be looking to learn more coping skills, and to share the ones you know.
But while you are still learning the new ones, you need to manage with the ones you already had. Sometimes this can be hard, especially if you didn’t have adequate coping skills to begin with.
But each of us has to deal with the hand we have been given. And each of us needs to learn to move past the hand we have been given and make our own life in this world. It seems a little contradictory, but both sides are true. Does this make sense to you?
If you have bipolar disorder, making do with what you have looks a little bit different. It means learning to cope with your bipolar disorder, and learning to get to the point where it doesn’t hold you back.
This means that you have to accept your bipolar at some point so that you can learn to cope with it. If you never accept it, you’ll never be able to move on. Regardless of whether you are a person who has bipolar disorder or their supporter, in the battle against bipolar you need to make do with what you have.
What ways do you think you could make do until you can make things better?
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
That would be great but how do I get my 14 year old to accept it?
Dear Sir Oliver: yes this is true, and I have come to that realization. He acts the way he acts because he has bipolar and whatever other alphabets they give him. He acts the part. I don’t think anyone would deliberately ask to be born with this disease. When I can’t take anymore I forgive myself and take a break, even if its laundry, to the store. JUst change the scenery. Enjoy the quiet for awhile. Take a deep breath. Regain my composer and brace myself to enter the storm. Pam
Hello. Hope this brings you well. I am writing in reference to my bi polar disorder. I was diagnosed in 2005 and just lately I have had some tremendous hurdles to leep through. I am not sure of anything because my life has gotten out of control as far as allowing others to “use” me and have also been dealing with a severe depressed roommate who is on a downward spiral. With this disorder, I have found some tremendous coping skills and I have no idea other than survival skills I have acquired throughout me learning what bi polar is. I am currently on disablity (Social security) for bi polar and other health issues. I am so confused on what to do with this situation I am in because I am fighting the depression with everything I have and each day within myself. It seems to be getting worse seeing that day in and day out. He is suppose to be finding a place, but he has no income what so ever and he has burned so many bridges including his own family due to his drinking issues and depression. I do not drink but maybe a few beers a year. I guess I just had to vent to someone who understands this condition. I thank you all for all the great things you teach people such as myself. Your hard work and understanding really has benefited so many people. Thanks again
I don’t have too much time now.
My comment is that I’ve learnt to deal with this while my doctor is a 9 hour flight away from me.
The way they come up with bipolar disorder is some psychiatrists get together and vote what symptoms they will call a disease there are no tests for bipolar disorder its basically an insurance game to deal with symptoms and an avenue for drug companies to try new block bluster drugs by tweaking the chemistry a little and changing the behaviors emphasized to get the patent for 7 years ona new drug when one has run out. Bottom Line you are selling your soul to the devil if you think you really have a disease in the first place then when you start the rollercoaster of drugs they give you you do wind up with brain damage usually eventually TD etc. and its too late to reverse all the symptoms from the drugs so they say they misdiagnosed you from add to depresiion to bipolar to bipolar schizo affective to schizophrenia to obsessive compulseive to autistic symptoms Believe me its true ! Susan
Hi the best doctor ever is a biochemistry professor that I found out is now on UTube his name is Dr.Gary Kohls Look up his videos hes really right on with natural and alternative ideas he is the only one that got my daughter completely well then we had to move and she has not been good since Im going back to his protocol and Peter Breggins they dont damage your brain with these Psych drugs Look him up fantastic Susan
I enjoy reading these articles very much.I have not commented on them until now as I havent had a reason to.I knew I had something different with my personality when I was very young.I stayed back in the fifth grade,was never into sports(played them but didnt know why and couldnt figure out the attraction?)Had problems with alcohol and drugs,maintaining motivation,following through on things etc.Ive been divorced once,have a 19 yr old son who has been dual diagnosed and have an x wife who Im sure is dual diagnosed and an alcoholic .She has a high power job and makes a very good income,I have been self employed for 31 yrs and we all live in Fairfirlf Cty Ct .On the surface wa are all relatively normal but just underneath we are all dealing with turmoil beyond description.We “all” probably are dealing with the tools we have been given and are more than likely doing a very good job based on how far we have gotten in life.I myself have used that term many times,I may have to work twice as hard to get half as much.Its just the hand Ive been dealt and shutuop and get on with it because nobody really wants to hear about it.
Skip ahead to today…my second wife does not have the ability to form her own opinions and tactics on how to deal with someone with bipolar.Sh also has never acknowledged that she does “anything” wrong ever.She has never apologized(not once)for anything.She claims that I am her “only problem” in life and that I am controlling and dominating.She reads countless articles and books to further solidify her belief and when we have an issue (ok arguement)she simply statyes that I am being abusive and controlling when I believe it is utter frustration that she is not capable of adult conversation and has never and will never that she herself has issues(her entire family has had ADD,social anxiety,phscytsophrenia(sp)bipolar, etc.I was raised in a home where my parents yelled on a regular basis,my father was probably bipolar but would never have gone to find out,my mother is clearly depressed but prefers church to medicate,no problem…
I find it very confusing and difficult to accept my wifes position when she refuses to look in the mirror but rather blame me for literally ALL our problems.I could wrtite a book about her problems but will site one instance.Her son has serious ADD.He wont work,sleeps all over the country side on peoples couches,has the look of a drug addict ,always sniffling ,chain smoking,tons of coffee,he might be 100lbs etc.
I gave him a chance to earn over 700 dollars a week painting our large deck at our house.He botched the job the very forst day,never coame in on time.He actually didnt show up one day and his mother,my wife said that it was his girlfriends only day off so he didnt come in!She told him it was ok withouit telling me and I was the one paying him.He eventually was fired for good when I discovered he had stolen over $4000 of rare coins my father had given me before he died.I called the police,he admitted to taking the coins,the officer suggested I not have him arrested because it was a felony but he had to return the full value within 6 months.He has not returned one coin,has not retuirned one dollar of them and has not returned one text or phone call of mine.His mother ,my wife backs him up!she says her therapist tells her to not be involved and that it is just a way for me to have control over her!.I disagree with that.I am only trying to have the right thing done which at the very least is a returned call from him telling me he will never be able to pay6 me back!.I should be able to be upset about this shouldnt I?.
I moved out for a few days over this/I stopped at the house to get some things.I locked all but one door when I left.She thought I locked her out and smashed a brand new $6000 french door I had just put in.I yelled (as you might expect)and she called 911.I did not touch her,I did not break anything,I simply was very angry and upset and I “yelled”.I recieved a disirderly conuct ticket even though the police knew she broke the window?.I was not aware of the detales of the ticket which was a tempoarry restraining order.I went to a hotel that night but came home the next morning to take pictures for the iuns company and to call and meet my car[anter.My wife said she wouyld notpay one peny for the door and so we argued again.she called 911 “again”.I was arrested again and put in jail for violatong a restraing order,had $10,000 bail ,pd $1000 for bond,paid $3500 for an atty and will now have to pay for the broken door.This was over an $11,000 weekend all due to TWO peoples chemical imbalances BUT the entire mess is put on me by her.We now sleep in seperate rooms of the house (my house)I owned it 6 yrs before we were married.
My question is ,if anyone would like to comment.(you wont hurt my feelings,I dont have any left)Shouild I stop argueing over these large issues to keep the peace,continue to stand behind my sense of right and wrong and try to make changes,or do I start the process of starting over again because I know she is wrong on many fronts but that I have responsibilty for some of this as well.Is it the bipolar that makes it difficult to figure out the right thing to do or is it just a difficult sistuation that could happen to anybody?.
I have been seeing a therapist for over 6 yrs and really enjoy our tiome together.I take my meds every day as I should,I have a greatr deal of control over alcohol when there was a time I did not,I succesfully run my business and turn good profits in a down economy,I know I am a good person and wonder why we both have the position that the other one is dragging me down?.
Ive got fifty six years in this with a husband that has tred to kill me many times and I’m still trying to help him to get help for him. at the same time my life is leaking out with streess and illnes. go figure Alma
alma, why do you stay with a man 56 years when he tries to kill you?
To JORDAN:
You are in a very toxic relationship buddy. You need to GET OUT as soon as possible. Don’t live in the same house together…someone will end up getting hurt.
Two persons living with bipolar disorder should NOT be together…it is like putting out a fire with gasoline!!! I know because I live with Bipolar II Disorder, and I once had a boyfriend with Bipolar I disorder…what a DISASTER! He broke things, we both yelled and screamed at eachother, he threw my cat off the balcony 16 floors up (thank God it landed on the balcony one floor below by fluke), he cheated on me, called me horrible names, cursed and swore at me, threatened to kill me, in fact tried to kill me once…anyway, long story short, if I didn’t get out of that relationship, I don’t think I would be here today to talk about it. It sounds like you and your ex have a very toxic relationship. You feed off one another’s anger. This is dangerous. Please heed my warning and extricate yourself from this train wreck while you still can. Hope this is helpful to you…I feel for you.
Maybe death is the best way of coping with bipolar disorder when you’ve exhausted all options for making things better. Sometimes, some people, can’t make their unbearable situation better. Coping by unassisted euthanasia might just be the most humane thing a bipolar person could do for themselves and their loved ones.
Sorry I know that sounds very bleak to most of you, but I can’t cope, and I can’t figure out a way to make things better.
DEAR KARLA:
I’ve just read your post and I feel very very concerned for you. There is NO “unassisted euthanasia” for folks with bipolar disorder or for that matter, any brain disorder except terminal cancer. Even then, it is still against the law in most areas. That,however, is not my major concern…it is that you feel badly enough to even consider that as an option.
It sounds like either your medication is not working properly and needs adjusting, or you may not be taking any at all…not sure which. But either way, please go to your psychiatrist ASAP and INSIST that he/she help you…that’s what they get paid to do!!! I had a nasty problem this summer with being put on a new medication that didn’t agree with me…I felt horrible inside and was unable to listen to people talking, was unable to interact with others, felt disengaged from my own body, etc…so I phoned my psych. and left him a message saying that I felt that way and if I didn’t hear back from him by noon,I was checking myself into the hospital! Well he did call back at 5 to noon, and told me to go off that medication immediately…he called in a prescription for an alternate medication to my pharmacy and within a couple of days, I was feeling better. Now I am fine again. Yes, living with bipolar disorder CAN seem unbearable at times, trust me I know. But suicide, assisted or unassisted, is NOT an option. I have to think to myself, this is not cancer or some deadly disease!! This CAN be managed. You have to force yourself to replace those negative thoughts with more positive ones. Try not to see things in “black and white” i.e. either good or bad, and look at the “grey” areas in between, i.e. “OK” or “better than before”. You may make little progress at first, but baby steps are at least a step in the right direction. Go for a walk when you feel really bad; it will help clear negative thoughts. Get a pet…I have 3 dogs and even one pet will give you unconditional love…most helpful when you’re feeling low. I hope I have been of some help to you! God Bless.