Hi,

I got the following email from someone the other day, and I wanted to share it with you, because

you might have even wanted to ask the same question or wondered the same thing:

“Dave, My wife has had bipolar disorder for a long time, and I’ve been taking care of her for all that time. I’m ok though. I don’t have it, at least I don’t think I do, but that’s what I’m wondering about now. I don’t know if she’s just driving me crazy with her bipolar behaviors or if I might be catching her bipolar disorder. But lately I’ve been having mood swings myself. Well I’m not going into mania like she does but I really have been depressed wondering if I’m always going to have to go through this. Is it true, could I really catch her bipolar?”

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At first, it may seem like a silly question to ask whether you can catch bipolar disorder, but believe me, many supporters have asked me that very same question. And, very simply, the answer is: NO. You can’t catch bipolar disorder like you can catch the flu. But you CAN pick up your loved one’s bipolar behaviors if you’re not careful! And that can happen if you let their bipolar disorder overwhelm you to the exclusion of everything else. Which can happen easier than you might think, believe it or not. It has happened to so many supporters that they do

end up asking me if you can actually catch bipolar disorder from your loved one.

But here’s what I’m talking about: If you’re living in the “bipolar world” so much that you don’t have any escape from it…Then bipolar disorder becomes the “norm” and normal life becomes the exception. Then things are topsy-turvy for you…And you can become as emotionally sick as your loved one. That’s why I always stress to supporters that, for one thing, you shouldn’t be the only supporter that your loved one has. They should have other people in their support system

who can give you a break once in a while. That’s so that you can get a break from them and their bipolar disorder. And so that you can stay emotionally healthy.

For another thing…You need to have other activities outside of your loved one, things that you do with other people. For example: Meeting friends for lunch or dinner every so often would be a good idea for you, and definitely keeping up these relationships, too. You need to have friends who don’t have a mental illness to surround yourself with, as this will also help keep you emotionally healthy. You also need to keep your family relationships close to you as well.

Family bonds are important, especially when you’re a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder. They will give you a good sense of normalcy, and also a good sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

Another good source of self-esteem for you (and another thing that will get you away from your loved one and their bipolar disorder) would be an outside job. If you don’t already have one, I strongly urge you to get a job outside the home. This will not only help your loved one to become more independent, but will help you to get out of the bipolar world on an ongoing basis as well.

You also need to do things that make you feel good, that bring you enjoyment. You could even do these things with your loved one, so that both of you can escape the bipolar world so that it doesn’t consume you! But you at least definitely need to do these things so that you can stay emotionally healthy.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave