Bipolar: The Blame Game

Hi,

Have you ever known a real complainer? The type of person who has nothing good to say about anyone or anything? Who couldn’t get along with anyone? (or at least not for very long, before they became critical of them). Who would say things like, “Life isn’t fair.” Or that someone else wasn’t fair to them, or they were in an unfair situation. Someone who always blamed everyone else or everything else for what was going on with them. Who had a lot of unsolved problems?

Did it seem to you that they might be their own biggest problem?

I know of someone like that. Someone told me about this girl. Now, I’m not a doctor, and I can’t diagnose anyone, but in my opinion, this girl showed every sign of having bipolar disorder. She had terrible mood swings, for one thing, and that was obvious, even to someone who didn’t know anything about bipolar disorder. She called her sister once to complain about her boyfriend. At first she talked like she really loved him, but the next minute she was blaming him for all her problems. Not just that, but she keeps getting into trouble in all aspects of her life –

Her family, friends, co-workers, etc. – she has conflicts with them all. They think there is something wrong with her, but she denies it, blaming everything on them.

But think about it. Do you think everyone else is wrong and that she is the only one who is right?

It usually doesn’t work like that. If that’s the case, if everyone else is saying the same thing, she should stop and listen to them. They can’t all be wrong. Maybe they don’t know if she has bipolar disorder or not, but they do know that something is wrong with her. Otherwise she wouldn’t have all the problems that she has. But she is in denial, for sure, and playing the Blame Game.

You may have faced this with your loved one, at least in the beginning. Many people with bipolar disorder will be in denial when they’re first diagnosed. They would rather blame someone or something else instead of accepting their diagnosis. Like they would say it’s just stress from work that’s making them act this way. Or, if it weren’t for [whoever], I wouldn’t act this way. That’s blaming, and it NEVER helps someone with bipolar disorder to get better. In order to get better, you have to stop blaming other people and other things for your own problems.

If you are having conflicts with most of the other people in your life, you have to consider that the problem is YOU, and not them. You can’t change anyone else, but you can change yourself.

If you or your loved one are already on medication, but you’re still having too many problems, you may need a medication adjustment. If you suspect this is the case, then you need to contact

your or your loved one’s doctor. You may not have even been noticing these things about yourself, but other people have been pointing them out to you. If so, you probably need help, because they can’t all be wrong and you be right. Just something to consider.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

  1. I’m no doctor, not even a nurse however from the sounds of it – sounds like this person was “set up for failure from the very beginning” – sounds pretty paranormal to me, wouldn’t you say?

    a friend once told me that If i ever meet a man to complains about virtually everything in life – it’s a sign that he didnt’ know His actual Mother. See Mothers have a natural bond for their real children….if a basic human seems to have so much bothersome paranormal exposures it’s probably a sign of a very distant Mother syndrome – I just got that from a book – getting to Commitment that i just read.

    All to the way to Heaven!!!!!!

  2. I had a Christian counselor tell me that I will never overcome being codependent and I don’t even know what that means. Can anyone out there tell me what it means to be codependent?

  3. you just described my husband to a ‘t’. but he not only blames everyone else, he gets angry doing it! especially to me!!!! i am at my wits end and seeking a divorce because he wont even see a doctor or a councilor. he says he has no one to talk to so he just curses me and uses swear words and i am hurt and afraid for my daughter and myself and he is getting worse!!! i wish you could help…

  4. Codependency is likened to lagging or attaching to someone who supports and enables a disorder instead of one that supports the “order”.

    My friend is in the middle of a divorce and she used to be codependent (only with those supporting her sickness); Now she’s renewed and happy

  5. I read a couple of comments. My girlfriends daughter is 43 bipolar and a drunk. She is blaming her mother. Ws are helping but she ran off with a male friend. I’m afraid the bottom is going to fallout. She told her daughter that is my girlfriends gran- daughter that mom is controling and she won’t let me drank and that she is 43 years old that she is going to have thanksgiving with my friend she ran off with. She always blames everyone. My friend is saying she is slaming doors and so on. My friend drinks as well. By saying all of this, I got a gut feeling a massive meltdown is going to happen. I think he is using her and I think he is going to kick her out by blaming her mom I live with by moving back into our home. Help ? I need some advice. Should I expect some sudden drama soon ?

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