Hi,
I read a quote the other day that really made me think:
“Our lives improve only when we take chances – and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” – Walter Anderson (Editor, Parade Magazine)
Wow. Isn’t that profound?
So many people go around in a state of denial.
I talk to a lot of people with bipolar disorder about this, because a lot of people, when they’re told that they have bipolar disorder, go into a state of denial, saying that they don’t have it.
It’s really hard, as a supporter of a loved one who you know has bipolar disorder, to be with them when they deny that they even have the disorder.
As a supporter you need to be understanding of the stages your loved one might go through before they will accept their diagnosis.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, in her book On Death and Dying, describes 5 Stages of Grief, and only the last one is acceptance, and they apply not only to grief, but to bipolar disorder as well.
The 5 stages of grieving are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then finally, acceptance.
So denial is the first, where they don’t believe they even have the disorder.
But then they finally arrive at acceptance, and at that point they should be like the quote at the beginning of this email.
But do you know what? So should you.
Because for ALL of us, we only improve if we take chances, and if we become honest with ourselves.
If your loved one becomes honest with themselves, then they can accept their diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and then they can start learning how to manage it.
But if you can accept your role as the supporter of someone who does have bipolar disorder , then you can learn how to help them.
The biggest surprise is that you can learn to help YOURSELF!
Yeah, cause you need help just as much as your loved one does.
Even though all the attention seems to be on your loved one, you do need as much help.
But the first step for both of you is that you have to be honest with yourselves.
And like the quote says, it is a risk. It sure isn’t easy! We sometimes don’t like to look at what
we see in the mirror. But you know what? Once we can do that, change is a great thing! Our lives begin to improve! We can do things we never thought we could do before!
Like with your loved one’s bipolar disorder. Think about it. When they were first told, you may have thought it was like a death sentence or something. But here I’m telling you that it is not
only NOT a death sentence, it is a chance to GROW, to CHANGE! And that is a positive thing.
You are taking a risk staying with a loved one who has bipolar disorder. But that, too, can be a positive thing. It’s all in how you look at it.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
one of my colleagues was beginning to resemble various bipolar episode cases and it’s because her first love rejected her and she said this happened after 5 attempts to reach him sort of looking for a job and getting the same message – this is what i said to her – is it applicable to your bipolar situations or could it be helpful to someone in a condition?? i chuckle a lot so here goes!
alright – so she went through this 5 times and now has her priority set – try a “different man” – take chances!!! it’s all about what he hears after all
LIFE IS ALL ABOUT TAKING CHANCES – YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN HURT BY 1 APPARENTLY “VERY IMPORTANT MAN” – YOUR DADDY – HE WASN’T THERE FOR YOU – EVERYONE KNOWS THAT EVERY LITTLE’S GIRL VERY IMPORTANT MAN IS “DADDY”
BUT LOOK HOW LIFE IS COMPENSATING YOU GREATLY – YOU ARE ATTRACTING SO MANY OTHER MEN – GOODNESS!!!!!!! THESE MEN COULD ONLY BE HUSBANDS/BOYFRIENDS THOUGH – NO DADDIES, EVER!!!! EVEN THOSE IN LEADERSHIP POSITIONS – CHALK IT UP TO ONE difficult experience that is leading to THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE THAT’S COMING IN A WAY THAT ONLY YOU UNDERSTAND – SO TAKE A CHANCE, THERE’S PLENTY OF MEN OUT THERE!!!! she is very beautiful and has great presentation and has demonstrated she can attract them apparently!
TAKE A CHANCE!
This past weekend, my boyfriend of 3 years had a horrific mania episode. Unfortunately my 14 year old daughter saw and heard a lot of it. Police were called, crisis intervention were brought in and he is currently in the hospital under treatment. During the episode he made threats, to which he now doesn’t remember. Going to see him yesterday, he is terribly regretful, full of sadness and crying. He desperately wants to come home and be the beautiful family we were. I’ve been feeling for months his meds have needed changed and have voiced it, possibly not forceful or strongly enough? He started seeing a new doctor the end of July who has been sloooow to change anything, and that’s a serious problem. In the hospital they think part of the problem the the onset of the mania episode was this doctor stopping the Abilify completely cold the end of July. In visiting him yesterday, I’ve told him in the next day or so when he’s released from the hospital he can’t come home, we need to establish safety for me and my daughter, first and foremost. He’s weepy and sad about not being able to come home, but says he understand. Does anyone have any experience with handling children, particularly teen girls? If someone could post something I’d greatly appreciate it. My daughter doesn’t want to hear anything right now. She is distraught and angry with him, rightfully so. She’s blaming him and not the disease. She’s full of distrust and fear, totally understandable. Any help in growing past this?