Bipolar Supporter? Medications are not a Cure

=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=

Hi,

I hope you’re doing ok. Today I want to talk to you about this email I got:

“Dear Dave: My husband has bipolar disorder, and usually he does ok, it’s just that it’s been a while, and I thought that by now he’d be doing much better than he is, ya know?

I mean, he’s been on his medication, and he’s been taking it right and everything, but he is still having episodes once in a while. They’re not as often as they were before, and they’re not as bad, but I thought that once he got on the right medication that he’d be ok.

Why is he still having episodes?”

Wow! I know where this lady is coming from, because you wouldn’t believe how many emails I get that say the very same thing. It’s a tough question to answer, and I’m not a psychiatrist or therapist, so I can only give my opinion – I have no professional standing – just my experience and the experience of thousands of people who have written or talked to me.

There are a lot of supporters (and just as many survivors) who think that once their loved one is on the right medication, that that’s all there is to it! They believe that that their loved one will never go into an episode again. Maybe you think that way, too. So I want you to know how wrong that thinking is. It is unrealistic to think that way.

Yes, medication is the core ingredient to getting better with bipolar disorder. But it’s not a cure for it.

No one should be telling you that your loved one will never have another episode, because that is just not true. No doctor should tell you that, and no therapist either. And you should not assume that, because it just isn’t true.

I teach about the core ingredients necessary for stability, and yes, medication is one of them, but it isn’t a magic cure to never have another episode ever again.

No matter how compliant your loved one is with their medication, no matter how well they follow their treatment plan, no matter how many years they have gone without an episode, you still have to keep up your guard, because they can still have an episode at any time – it’s just the nature of the disorder.

You can’t expect perfection from your loved one, any more than you would want them to expect perfection from you. All that they (and you) can do is your best. Remember: “Hope for the best, while being prepared for the worst,” like I preach all the time.

Because bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance in the brain, there is no way of knowing when those chemicals are going to “flare up.” Even if your loved one has been stable for a long time, it can still happen. I know a woman who didn’t have an episode for TWELVE YEARS, and then had one that lasted for SIX MONTHS!

Usually, your loved one can control their disorder by being compliant to medication and therapy. But you still have to remember that your loved one has a brain disorder, and that sometimes, it is going to flare up, no matter how long you’ve been stable.

Remember to watch for triggers, and don’t let your guard down as far as watching for signs and symptoms, again, no matter how long your loved one has been stable. I know, it’s easy to become complacent when things have gone on so well for so long. But you can never forget.

Now, I’m not saying to stand over your loved one like a general or anything like that to watch them for triggers, signs and symptoms, but you should be able to tell in general if/when it happens. Just don’t let down your guard is all I’m saying.

If you know that your loved one is in a particularly stressful situation at work, well, you know that stress is one of the biggest stressors to a bipolar episode, so you would just watch them more closely. If their anxiety and/or stress levels are increased, that’s the time to be more vigilant. Also, watch their sleep patterns.

If they are sleeping less, be watchful, because loss of sleep can indicate a bipolar manic episode.

And just the opposite is true, too. If they are sleeping more, be watchful, because sleeping too much can be an indication of a bipolar depressive episode.

The point is, medications are not a cure for bipolar disorder. They are only there to control the symptoms of it, but they are not a guarantee that your loved one will never have another episode.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. Dear Dave,

    My son is 28 years old and never had one ounce of any signs of mental disorder. He did loose his father 7 years ago and went through a tough time with me because I became overwhelmed with grief and would tell my son I wanted to die and put him through hell and back. Over 4 years ago I began to journey back and now my son has lived alone for almost 3 years and I now live apart from him. He never really grieved when his Dad passed because he was busy having to worry about me. I feel very guilty about that. Several months ago my son told me he went to his family doctor and told him he thought he might have ADD and his doctor gave him Adderal , my son took it and also drank at times along with it. He is not alcoholic but the deadly mix trigger off what is now been the beginning of ( I don’t really know) . He did very well at work, was a workaholic, just recently promoted and loved by everyone. About one month ago he called me and was acting paranoid and thinking someone was out to get him and very nervous. He was taken to the hospital and they said it was like coming off of meth being on the drug he was on then stopping it he thought the orderly was a football player who is famous. I know this sounds like he has a mental problem. A psychiatrist did see him and gave him a clean bill of health. Well a few weeks later he called me saying that he feels like he needs to go to the hospital and was taken there. He wasn’t as bad as the first time but was thinking he wanted to join the army and thought he was the President, he was admitted to a mental hospital and was put on lithium and ablify . He was released on a out patient program for 2 weeks but he couldn’t get the ablify so they gave him something else. Apparently not a good idea because he became very anxious and didn’t know what to do so I told him to go back to the regular hospital and get checked out. He did not think he was someone else at all just very anxious. He did go back in the mental hospital and they said it was the meds and he stayed there for a week and is now out patient. They never gave him anything for his anxiety though . He is doing better but because the doctor at the outpatient wrote that he has trouble focusing on his work short term disablity papers they took his just recent promotion away and said when he comes back he will have his old job. Anyway I guess my point is that how could someone who never under the deepest stress of 7 years ago get through all of that and be mentally ok. I feel that the adderal and alcohol brought this out. His brain chemistry is messed up. I am not being in denial but they diagnosed him as being schizo affective along with bipolar. I want him to get a second opinion . What are your thoughts. Also he never likes being alone, he was always one that was very social but if he has nothing to do with his friends he wants to be with me and I cannot always be there. He gets a lot of anxiety. I fell that he has separation anxiety and is scared of all the responsibilities of being on his own. He makes good money but now I can see why he is anxious with what they are pulling at work. Please help.
    JoAnn

  2. Hi Dave,
    I couldn’t agree with you more. What you are saying is so true. There is no magic pill that will cure one of bipolar disorder. I find like you say triggers are very important to be aware of. Just this past Dec. I was under a lot of stress and was in the hospital/rehab. I had such rapid cycling I couldn’t keep up with it even though I was on my mes. Very scary to say the least but I did manage in between cycles to tell people I was sorry but couldn’t control my self. We have to accept the fact that this will be with us for the rest of our lives just the same as any number of diseases. Every one keep your chins up and keep smiling…. it makes people wonder what you are up to. Thanks Dave for all your support.

  3. Why episodes occur in spite of doing everything one should: because it’s a CHRONIC medical illness. This means it waxes and wanes throughout life. Just like arthritis. Just like hypertension. Just like multiple sclerosis.
    Why it’s important to do everything one should when living with any chronic medical illness: to (perhaps)lessen the frequency and seriousness of the waxing and waning.
    At this point in the evolution of HomoSapiens, if you live long enough it’s highly likely that you will develop a chronic medical illness before death. So the upside of developing one (or several) earlier in life is gaining expertise in managing them!
    By the way, I’ve lived with chronic medical illnesses more than 2/3 of my life to date and ALL of my professional life. AND I’m a bipolar supporter in addition to my specialty of Psychiatry. So I speak from the heart and from all the seats at the table. And I’m still learning.
    Thanks David for this forum. Best wishes to you and yours.

  4. Alot of illnesses are only controled by medication and any above normal circumstances can trigger a reoccurance. Take hay fever or an allergy as an example. If you have Hay Fever and take a ride on a hayride….guess what it will overload the meds. So, this disorder is the same. The professionals …the good ones…will tell you that. So Thanks goodness there will be more good days by a long shot than bad. And …the better the tools in the kit are used, the better the outcome. Very good advice Dave as usual..hy44d

  5. Right now, I find myself to be in the throes of a “hypomanic episode.” I have PLENTY of stressors going on, and a LOT on my plate. However much I adhere to Dave’s treatment plan, I still feel like “something is wrong in the State of Denmark.” I’m trying to sell my condo and move into a high-rise for the elderly (I’m only 62, so don’t FEEL elderly!). I’ve got one very good prospect that I found out about just today, so you can imagine my joy! I also still have my vertigo, which I’ve had now for 9 months…not a very pleasant feeling. I wake up in the morning with a migraine, which usually goes away with my morning meds and coffee.

    I take my meds religiously, but know they’re no panacea, just a stop-gap to a full-blown mania. I know that when I’m hypomanic, a manic episode is sure to follow – and it TERRIFIES me. I can’t “afford” a hospitalization NOW, of all times. I have to be clear-headed and behave “normally.” To add another thing to this “stew,” – I have cervical stenosis, which is really bothering my neck. I start getting injections for it the first of March.

    Even my group therapist noticed my “minor” hypomania in group this morning. All she suggested was to see my psychiatrist, but her first available appointment is MARCH 18th!! I know I can call my Case Manager or the Hot Line if I feel I’m “going off,” but most times I, myself, don’t recognize the mania when it hits.

    My current roommate used to be a psych-tech, so she is watching my behavior with clear eyes. But I won’t have her around after March, so I’ll be completely on my own, as I’ve been since 2003. I know of THREE triggers, which I’ve asked her to notice (as well as my best friend)…1) racing thoughts, and changing subjects in the middle of a sentence; 2) extreme spirituality, talking about the End Times and Jesus all the time; and 3) sleeping around. My roommate has effectively taken care of #3, in that she doesn’t want me to have company while she is living here. I guess that’s a good idea, but, when I’m hypomanic, I NEED some form of intimacy.

    If anyone out there knows how to forestall a full-blown manic episode, please post it on this blog!!

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I continue to pray for my country.

  6. My loved one is very cheerful right now. We are having some fun times again and re-building our relationship. He expressed his concern that he maybe getting a touch hypomanic and is doing the right thing by discussing this with his psych. If he is going into an episode it should not be such a bad one. If everyone is keeping an eye on it, at least he won’t have to go into the psych ward. For now he is more stable and happy than he has been in a long while, taking his meds as prescribed and going to all his appointments. He knows he is loved, has a secure home, socialises, works when he feels like it (to help people out) and no longer allows his ex to stress him out.

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