How are you doing?
I was thinking about today’s topic because I was thinking about how some people stay sick no matter how good the medication is.
That’s why therapy is so very important a part of treatment for bipolar disorder, so your loved one can get things out in the open, like their thoughts and feelings – then look at them objectively and change them if needed, or at least understand them.
Usually, however, supporters don’t have the same opportunity.
Although getting your own therapist is something I advise in my courses/systems as a way for you to deal with your own problems surrounding your loved one’s bipolar disorder.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
There are TWO things you need to get rid of:
4. Unrealistic Expectations
Some people hold resentments inside for so long that they get ulcers over it.
Others hold resentments against people and are stressed every time they’re around them, even though the other person has no idea of the resentment.
Resentments eat you alive from the inside and can cause physical problems on the outside.
Like, for example, the ulcers I was just talking about.
But you can also get headaches (migraines), body aches, indigestion, anxiety and even insomnia.
There are two ways to get rid of resentments:
3. Confront the person
4. Let go of the resentment
Like I said earlier, usually the person you resent has absolutely no idea that you resent them at all, much less WHY you resent them.
So one way of getting rid of resentments is to confront the person and get it out in the open.
The other way is to just simply let go of the resentment.
This may be a little hard for some people to do.
Especially if they’re used to holding onto resentments for a long period of time.
But if I told you that you could get really, really sick if you did just one thing, wouldn’t you want to listen and stop doing that one thing?
Well, I am telling you that you MUST let go of your resentments.
Resentments are like emotional poison, toxic to your system.
They can make you sick, both physically and mentally.
I have a friend who hated her ex-husband so much that it was eating her up inside – literally making her sick with stomach problems.
But there was NO way she was going to confront him with it.
She knew she had to let the resentment go, though, but didn’t know how.
Her therapist told her to think of just one instance where her ex-husband had shown her a kindness.
Then every time she felt resentful, she was to replace that resentful thought with the thought of the kindness he had shown her.
Eventually, she was able to let go of her resentment, and her stomach problems vanished!
The other thing you need to let go of is unreasonable expectations.
Maybe you’ve heard at a support group meeting that somebody’s loved one is doing really great with their bipolar disorder, managing it perfectly, and living a normal life.
You may feel a little jealous, thinking why isn’t your loved one that way?
This is an unrealistic expectation.
Recovery from bipolar disorder is a process. The other person’s loved one may just be further along in the process than your loved one, that’s all.
But you need to be realistic about your loved one’s progress.
Don’t compare them to anyone else.
Being realistic means that you expect that there WILL be set-backs on the road to recovery.
Being realistic means not expecting your loved one to be like someone who doesn’t have bipolar disorder.
Being realistic means that you must be patient in the meantime, as recovery is a process, and every process takes time.
If you can get rid of your resentments and your unrealistic expectations, you will feel so much better!
Have you found yourself holding onto your resentments?
Do you have unrealistic expectations of your loved one?