==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
Hi,
How’s it going?
How’s it going for you? I hope you had a
good weekend.
Hey I have a couple of new jobs
that I have. I am going to be sending
out an email (customer service, animation,
graphic design and some other stuff)
so we can keep it in the family so to speak.
It’s been a crazy few days. I had
one woman calling me over and over and
over and over again demanding money
from me.
She claimed I owed her money. She is in
no database of mine and never bought
a thing from me. I finally had to
just put the phone down because I felt
it would be rude to hang up on her.
Then another person called and demanded
that I help him with bipolar disorder.
Then another person left me a ton of messages
claming that she was unable to ever get me
and my voicemail never works?
In all cases, I had no idea who the above
people were. No idea.
Then I had ANOTHER situation.
Someone that I know went off his meds
and went from being stable to totally
unstable in like 30 days.
Here’s the interesting thing. I kind
of thought this person was off is him
medications but he had assured me
and sold me that he was on his bipolar
medications.
He also sold and convinced
other people that I know.
There’s something about the first couple
of weeks or even a month of someone who
is off his/her bipolar medications. He/she becomes
incredibly persuasive and try to get
you to do all kinds of things you normally
wouldn’t do.
When I say you, I mean the bipolar supporter.
In this case that I am telling you about, this
person was doing some work and not doing it
well because he wasn’t on his medications.
Slowly but surely everything that he was
doing started to fail.
He do a whole lot of bad work and created
lots of problems with others as well.
The thing that just so darn amazing with
bipolar disorder is how you have to be on
guard of not being sucked into a person
who is off medications.
Here’s another example. My mom was actually
on her medication but on the wrong medication
and was not stable. But she was persuasive.
She convinced me to give her lots of money.
She convinced my dad to give her lots of money.
She convinced her mother to give her lots of money.
I can’t really explain exactly how she did
it but it was done.
She then started convincing people to
do things like not work at her job or gang
up on her boss and not listen to what the
boss said. When I was looking back and
trying to figure it all out, it was
amazing.
She wound up convincing people all sorts
of things. Keep in mind this was like in 2003
when her big bipolar episode was starting
and picking up steam.
As I look back, it was amazing how so many
people wound up being persuaded and sold on
doing all kinds of things they really didn’t
want to do. All by someone who wasn’t on
the right bipolar medications and not stable.
Now, after I started to learn about bipolar
disorder and started to figure out what was
going on, I started to stand up to my mom’s
bipolar disorder and stopped going along
and being persuaded.
Now if I look at this particular person that
told you about this past weekend, he was able
to convince a whole lot of people about his
stability and wound up causing a lot of problems.
If you are a bipolar supporter you have to
be careful not to fall into this trap.
I call it “fooled by bipolar.” Bipolar
is a slick thing so to speak. It works
to persuade and trick you into various
things that are bad for you the supporter
and you the person with the disorder.
Sometimes when I talk about bipolar being
an “it” or almost like a person people
think I am “out of my mind.” I am not.
But when you think of it as something
that is inhabiting your loved one,
it makes it much easier to deal with it
and separate it from your loved one.
The purpose of today’s daily email is
to remind people that those who go
off their bipolar medications wind up
doing really bad things generally and
are very persuasive trying to get you
to go along with them or do things
that are not in your best interest.
Also, you’re loved one can be on bipolar
medications and still become unstable and
you can be susceptible to being “fooled
by bipolar disorder.”
Don’t fall for it. IF you hear of
an idea, plan or something from
your loved one with bipolar disorder,
resist going on. Don’t go along to
get along. That’s what my dad tried
for so many years and it never ever worked.
And my mom tells me to this day, she wishes
he didn’t do that because in the end it
wound up hurting her, him, me, my brother
and lots of other people.
In my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I talk at length how to stand up to bipolar
disorder and how to handle someone
in an episode who thinks they are fine.
I am not sure why. But again, the person who
is off bipolar medications or the person on
medications but in an episode is very persuasive
and can get people who don’t have bipolar disorder
to do a whole lot of things that are totally
destructive.
I would appreciate people posting some
stories of how persuasive and destructive
a person who is in a bipolar episode or off
his/her medications can be.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
David, I was vindicated by finally being clinically diagnosed with bi-polar manic depression about 3 years ago. I go off my meds now and then because I want to be “normal” too. I think that people like me who suffer from “it” (yes, I call it that b*itch that lives in my head) are very comapssionate, extremely sensitive to touch, smell, emotions, perceptive, and smart.
Good one Dave. So true! My husband is VERY cunning and persuasive. He forms the best arguments and he gets beligerent when he’s in a manic episode. He uses his anger and his manipulative arguments to get his way. It’s hard to stand up to, but I’ve learned. Still need more support, though.
I must be different than Ana’s husband. I am not “cunning and persuasive”, the opposite. I am so compassionate and will help anybody in need. I rarely ask for help and some of my closest friends two years ago would not give me any until I asked for it. It is horrible having to deal with “it”.
Hi, I support my mom who has BP. She is out of control a good part of the time and can convince you of anything. Right now, my mother is completely convinced she should live by herself at home…meanwhile she is hallucinating the majority of the time and nobody knows what to do! My family is trying to get enough money together to buy your program Dave, but we are all extremally broke. We know my mom needs better doctors, but we have tried sooooooo many and they don’t help. She is currently on adderoll, paxil, zyprexa, calonapin…the list goes on and on. She also has lupus which compounds everything. Then you have to add in the pain meds, etc. Just last night, she came to my son’s two year old birthday party an hour and a half late, walks in the door informs me she has been listening to a little girl sing to her the whole way to my house (my mom hears random “radio stations” gospel, mardis gras, carnival, old women, you name it!–all different types of music. (The doctor wants to up her medicine, which only will make her sleep all the time and then she will be even more depressed.) To continue, she’s off balance from so much pain med. pretty much crawls in the door onto the floor infront of my husbands entire family and starts growling at my son. This is just one totally common thing my mom did that HOUR. Dimentia comes with the lupus…we have no idea what to do. If anyone has any suggestions, PLEASE, help. My sister drove her home, she’s a nurse and thinks mom is schizophrenic. We know she needs to live with someone. She messes her meds up all the time. SHe is the most stubborn offensive self-absorbed, yet loveable, confounded woman in the world. SHe doesn’t want to be committed anywhere. She doesn’t tell us the half of what is really going on I am sure. SHe drives everyone away with her horrid mouth. If anyone has any suggestions….
I am thankful to be able to read your story about your mother. I fell deeply in love with a man that has bipolar. It was such a traumatic episode but is now over. I do believe my life will be better without the pain and suffering this relationship has caused myself and my family. However, as you mentioned, they somehow get us to do things we normally wouldn’t do and my fear is that he will convince me to allow him back into my life. I am being strong and standing up to him, refusing his phone calls, and not allowing myself anymore of the abuse.
Thank you for your site. It is helpful for me to understand so much of what has happened.
Kathleen, Crofton, MD
Well, perhaps we are all different. I just got suspended from work without pay for things that transpired during, what I can see now, as a manic episode. It was one of the worst days of my life, I didn’t know what was happening. I went through about 10 different strong emotions in 8 hours and ended up with a massive headache at the end of the night. It was horrible. Few people can understand this disorder, I try to recognize my warning signs when I can and alert people.
I have a son who is bipolar/psychoeffective…he convinced his father of a diabolitical lie that could have caused me to lose my 9 yr. old daughter, my home, my job and everthing I worked for or loved….I tried to explain that he was not taking his medication and that he was making the entire story up. I didn’t understand, at that time,when he is not on his meds that he hears things.
He acted like I actually did the things he was saying to people, and some folks can’t imagine a person telling such lies, they think it has to be true, why would someone tell these kind of lies?
He was very convincing to people who don’t understand the disease. Thank God I had paperwork from drs. documenting his illness, and proof that he would not take the meds prescribed. I would give my son his medication to take before I left for work in the morning, and he would throw the pills on the floor in his bedroom. This was all from being off meds for about 40 days….and it started around the changing of time, less sunlight….short days…be careful people!!
My son currently lives in mental health housing with 6 other males of various ages and there are good people who work there to ensure his safety and well being.
I was a very long road in finding this type of home for my son because there are a lot of places out there who only rob people who have mental health issues.
I am happy now and my son is safe and well taken care of. I visit him every weekend and he calls me daily.
He’s still not perfect, every now and then he’ll say crazy things…but I’ll never put myself in a position for him to make up any lies again.
I feel like you are all bashing people who have to live with this. No, we are not all liars, cunning, and make up stuff. Remember, we are clinically diagnosed based on anecdotal evidence. Meds are not a cure, they “alleviate” symptoms.
One of the fundamental problem of being bipolar is that people don’t understand mental illnesses. I didn’t even knew about it until I arrived to San Francisco where I was hospitalized for one week pretending that I was supported by a mainstream open to diverse genders and sexual cultures known as GLTB here in USA. I really not quite sure if there is a lack of chemicals in the brain, or just the effect psycho, physical, and sexual abuse women confront on earth…
My comments probably should be on another blog, but we had a recent experience that fits here.
I am the father of a bi polar 25 year old daughter with 2 beautiful kids….and they all live with me and my wife. We basically care for her and her children as we try to get her stabilzed. She had her car reposessed last year and has no licensed since she wrecked my car, so she depends on others for transportation. She always has to have a boyfriend and her latest lives 45 minutes away. She likes to go over there and spend the night, without the kids of course. Last week she left on Thurs and was supposed to be back on Friday, but couldn’t get a ride back. This went on until Monday when we went and got her. So last night she wanted to go over there again and said she’d be back today to help with the kids and be there for a family counseling session we have set up tonight with someone she has worked with. We asked her not to go because she’d get stuck there again, but she swore her ride was secure and swore and swore and fussed. Oh well…she went and this morning she called the counselor ( not me ) and told him she couldn’t make it back till tomorrow. So we’ll meet without her tonight and we’re going to set up a tough love plan for her ( for the umpteenth time) I argue with my wife constantly that tough love doesn’t really apply to someone who is mentally ill, but this time I’m really unhappy with my daughter.
Since I’m here..a question. We always hear that ther are manic episodes and deprressed episodes with stable times in between. We don’t seem to get the normal times. She is either sleeping on the couch for 5-7 days at a time or awake doing all kinds of meaningless busy activities for 48-72 hours at a time without sleep. We continue to work with the meds and we are seeing a new shrink this week and we have an appointmnet with a rheumatologist to check on fybromyalgia. Can anyone offer some words of encouragement…my wife and I are worn out. we’re buying David’s course this week, but frankly I am not optimistic that we’ll discover anything new. Thanks for the blog.
Chuck, all I can say is that, from what I see in retrospect through the bubble, I am a good person. We just deal with something that you don’t. How someone can deal with a person like me at times? God bless them if they can figure it out. My reaction is to run away, hide, tried jumping out of a moving car to get away from someone that was saying bad things to me. I know I am a good person.
I know what you are talking about. When I was at my peak with bipolar I tried to get my best friends to do what I wanted them to but thank God none of them fell for it. I don’t remember doing that but some of them told me about it. They wouldn’t tell me what I said though. That agitates me to no end so I moved away from them and to another state. I want nothing to do with them anymore.
My husband and I are seperated and I made a choice to move on until he got himself fully stable through the meds, see the doctor on a regular bases, and set up a marriage counsler. I see that since I allowed him in the house, on the week-ends, he slowly is starting to manipulate me from doing what I told him I needed for me to get right with him. I need for him to take a stand independantly against bi-polar for our family and then I can come back inot his life. But I see that he manipulates me into feeling guilty and I give in because I feel wrong(emotionally) and I always feel like the unsupportive one, that he says I am. He always brings up God and what I am supposed to do and what I don’t don’t to guilt trip me into doing what he says and now that I have read these post—I see that is what he has done.
Sometimes I feel like he’s dragging me just to get what he wants!
Hi Dave, My exhusband is bipolar and it’s because of his denial that I left with our two kids. After I filed for a the divorce and it was granted, he started to see a doctor and was officially diagnosed with BP and was placed on some meds. He was hospitalised for a major nervous breakdown in Sept 2003 and remained quite out out of sorts until May 2004 when he became violent and verbally abusive. He took the meds for about 3 months on and off and now he’s been off for about 6-8 weeks. He’s been trying to persuade me that he is well and that he is coherent and knows what he’s doing when he’s doing all teh home repairs and spending a lot of money. He just bought another car and told me that it mine. He seems to be doing so well and seems to be productive and calm and if it wasn’t for your email I wouldn’t be so careful when dealing with him. He’d been very abusive in the recent past, threatening my life even in front of my kids and although I love him, I am terrified at having to deal with the trauma and to put my kids through that again. Now he’s making promises and begging for another chance. I am particularly cautious and somewhat upset that now that he chooses to be nice to me that he is making me obligated to coming home. I want to trust him, but I just can’t. How can I know when and if his demeanor is sincere? How will I know if he’s conquerored BP with or without meds?
hi dave,how are you? i,ve supported my ex with bp for over 10 years.i call him “the master manipulater” and he is! I’ve been through verbal abuse,lies on top of lies,gamling,and cheating the whole 10 years we were together. im a very intelligent person,yet i fell for all this, for so long, what is it about bp that makes them good at lying? is it a personality trait or is it the bp.
Whoa, clearly I am in the wrong place! This is like Al-anon!
Hi David, Your site is really giving me strength and I benefit greatly from the advice.
David, I am in the process of divorcing my husband who is in complete denial that he has BP.
After 13 years of a troubled marriage, I have coem to the relaization that I can’t help him–especially sincehe is in denial.
I have wasted blocks of my life away on his fancy promises and dreams.
It took me 12 years to realize that he has BP and I realize that its only getting worst. I gave him an ultimatime to accept it and seek help becaus eit can be managed like any other disorder. Perhaps he will come around one day but I can’y sacrifice any more of my time on him.
Our marriage has been off and on for 13 years and each time we separated he cunningly convinced me to take him back. It was’nt until the last 3 years of our marriage that I studied BP and learned what it was all about. For sure he is a classic case and have all of the symptoms.
David he had me fool for many years and always covered up his dysfunctional behavior and blamed me for his disasters.
This last episode really confirmed that he was out of his mind. Listen to this, I took a teaching job overseas about 5 years ago. He agreed and support this move. The day of departure he experienced an episode. When we arrived he was still on a high. This episode remained for the next 3 weeks. I was completely miserable. Finall he returned back to the states to run his business. I visited each summer–in which he showed sight improvements but not much. Last year I decided to stay overseas. Since I been here he called me maybe 4 times only to complain and fault find. But just 2 months ago he ask for a visit visa –in which I applied for one for him to visit. He told me he wanted to visit and spend time with me. A week before he was due to come-he changed his mind–at least that’s what he told me and my family. Anyhow 2 weeks later I received a call from my son who informed me that my husband had made the trip overseas and had been here for 3 days already. I was baffled–why would he not call and inform me that he is here?? Anyhow, he checke into a hotel–which I learned later– and stayed three more weeks. I received a call from him on the day of his departure–by this time I had called the airline which had confirmed his flight reservation. He told me he was leaving back to the states. I question why he had not called or visited me. He began to blame me for his absence and said that if I had called and left a message begging him he would have showed up. I have not seen my husband for about 15 months and here he travels over 1000 miles and leaves without seeing his own wife. Anyhow, I knew he was going to experience the depression side upon his arrival to the States. I gave him time to settle and I left message for him to seek help because this behavior wa totally unusual. He called back and denied he had BP. I was very cautious in approching him with it. But he refused and so I thought about the whole matter and prayed on it and finally after 2 weeks I asked to be released from this oppresive marriage. It then hit him about what he had done but my mind is convinced. I can be his supportor which I offered but he has to see this as an illness, admit it and seek help. Since he is not–I want out!
Anyhow, David your site has been a life saver these last few weeks and it confirmed much of what I had been expereincing for over 13 years. I even emailed my x your web link with hopes that he will use your site to educate himself about his illness and seek help. Thank u David for all of your support.
Mrs. Miserable
Mrs. Miserable, are you a shrink? What do you mean your husband has been in denial about being BP? People like you dismiss people like me and your husband, you called him “out of his mind”. So, when are people like us to express our feelings without being called names? There is a support group for people with mental disabilities called EvenKeel. Actually, like Alanon, we sit around and laugh about the stupid stuff that allegedly normal people say to us.
You know it is very weird–people who suffer from any mental illness will more often than not deny it. I suffer from depression–took me a year of episodes before I got an email from a dear friend saying I should go to the doctor…”I suspect you are bipolar…”
There must be studies done on the denial factor. I haven’t the time right now to go and look it up.
Gudrun.
Well, good for your friend! I always knew something was wrong and went to doctors since my teens before mental disorders were “vogue”. I got dismissed until just 3 years ago, 20 years later.
No, this is not the ol’, “Oh, I feel so depressed” thing. This is serious, and it is no joy ride for us either.
Yes Beware. Thanks for the reminder once again Dave. I fear that my husband will stop his meds so I give them to him every night to make sure he is taking them. Sometimes he get his own when I am having a hard time getting the kids to bed or have a lot going on and at that time I think ohh no did he really take them? It is never more than one night that he gets his own meds and maybe only a few times a month. I guess I worry about him going off the meds because his dr. is still tweaking them a bit and he hates the side effects. So do I but I know that taking the meds and the side effects far out weigh of not being on the meds. I think that once he finds the right dosage and is feeling better he will want to take the meds so that he does not have more episodes. He does often tell me that misses the highs though.
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Tracy, hopefully you would not fault him for wanting to feel “good”. I am type II so I have more lows than highs. I certainly like to feel happy too but mine are not those euphoric highs. People will fault “us” for being “happy” or expressing feelings, saying we are “ranting off meds”. So when can we express our feelings without these disparaging comments? My friend said he has heard the same as well. He is a professor, I have been in academics myself.
Gee, I am really on the wrong website.
This comment is linked to the father (family) with a 25 years old daughter. I believe that mental illnesses are just categorizations of
sub-adaptations to a nihilist world. Don’t forget that during the slavery times the black people were classified with a weird word, I am refuse to write, in which the diagnosis described his/her pathological disagreement for being an slave and escape???That is not a joke, you could find more in an history of psychiatry or clinical psychology pamphlet of the latest 1800′. Back to bipolarity, I suggest you to get a support system with parents of bipolar children. I suggest you do not give back. I suggest you to establish a healthy distance between the problem of having a bipolar daughter in itself and the condition that, although you are not bipolar, you also are expose to became mentally ill. See is like catching the flu, then you express the symptoms. That is, you should follow the advice and support of experts without risking too much income on it…Build trust with your supporters, and establish a dynamic plan in daily basis to work with your daughter. You have the advantage of being observers, and that would eventually help her to recognize her symptoms.I addition, please use for yourselves father (parents, guardians, etc) realistic techniques of relaxation (i.e. accordingly with your income take a vacation trip far away of the places where you are daily coping with the factual aspects of the problem, LOOK FORWARDS FOR ANY EXPRESSION OF ART AND ENJOY IT-MUSIC,SCULPTURE, PAINTING, ETC. ANOTHER WAY OF COPING WITH STRESS COULD BE readING comics, watchING comedy shows, taking long walks, etc) Lastly, the cheapest drug I want to sale you is COMMUNICATION, TEAM COMMUNICATION, ONE TO ONE COMMUNICATION. TALK EVEN TO THE WALLS, BUT GET IT OUT…DON’T KEEP STRESS FOR YOURSELVES…NEVER! THE TRICK IS IF EVERYTHING IS PRODUCED IN OUR MIND, WE CAN PRODUCE THINGS, NO? I WISH YOU THE BEST, SO I AM PRODUCING THE BEST FOR ALL OF YOU!
Marlen
David it all sounds to true to me. My daughter has not yet been proffessionally diagnosed but what i have read is right on the mark. Looking for advice for young mums with BP. My daughter has a two year old.
David- I couldn’t believe todays message stating that you were looking for a customer service employee. My job is coming to end on 11.16 and I am having to move to my brother’s house 37 miles away to take it over while he is incarcerated for going on a complete bi polar binge and taking himself off of his medication. He has finally asked for help once he is freed and I know that this is going to take time in taking him to probation, and for us to go to family counseling to try and work thru this. Please contact me at lorlarsen@yahoo.com so I may forward my resume. My call center is closing and I would love to use some of this school of hard knocks experience to also make an income. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Blessings, Loree
After my grandmother died, my mother’s main bipolar supporter/enabler, my mother had her medications reduced and convinced her social worker that I was just out for her “inheritance”, which was really something that my grandmother set up for her long-term care. She then went through 26,000 dollars in 6 months and there was nothing I could do about it but catch her when she fell. The social worker believed her and of course apologized to me afterwards because she believed her lies.
I know a lot of manipulative liars who are not BP.
To DEANNA: I think you are being a little defensive about your bipolar II diagnosis. These people are truly and sincerely in distress with their loved ones who are bipolar; they don’t need your sarcasm about dealing with their problems. I am bipolar, too, suffering with it for 39 years, so I know all the tricks in the book about manipulation and “lying.”
I put “lying” in quotes, because when I am manic, my delusions cause me to BELIEVE everything my twisted mind causes me to believe. When I am in a manic episode, I AM mentally ill, and no matter the chemical imbalance that causes it, I DO NOT act rationally.
When my Mom was alive, she dealt with it the best she could, even performing interventions that NEVER worked, until it became so odious by my behavior, that even I knew I had to be hospitalized.
For reasons that I cannot explain, I am very convincing in a bipolar mania. I even had one of my friends believe herself that I was Jesus as a woman, and she followed every thing I did/said. After I was hospitalized, she visited me ONE time, and I never saw her again.
I am NOT proud of being bipolar, though it is in “vogue” now as a “designer disorder,” with all the new medications being touted as cure-alls. But, by staying on my meds religiously, getting on a sleep regimen of my CHOICE, and avoiding stress, I am able to be a highly-functioning bipolar who manages to WORK on my computer for 5 hours a night.
Deanna, save your “holier than thou” attitude for your OWN supporters, and don’t take it out on the seriously needy and disturbed supporters on this blog. Thank you.
BIG HUGS to all bipolars and those who love them. My prayers are with you.
Dave, Thanks again. I do have a question for you though. You have spoken about people who are bipolar and who are “high functioning” do those of us who are high functioning need to have things in place like you do for your mother? I am concerned about that since my therapist said I am high functioning and I believe myself to be, do I need to have a plan in place? I will bring this up to my therapist next week when I visit him. Thank you again!!
Ann
Thank you, Dave, for all the hard work you do to steadily leave these daily emails for us who live w/Bipolar Disorder, as I do. Just saw my shrink today, a month after my meds needed to be changed due to a toxic reaction. He was very supportive and answered several questions for me. I pretty much tell him anything, and brought labwork results from my PCP for his chart, too. He will see me again in another month, so we can manage any episodes before they totally affect me and , heaven forbid this year, that I end up in the hospital or something. (That’s unusual, cuz I usu.see him once every 3 mos.) I take my meds religiously, and want to live as normal a life as I can, while living w/bipolar illness. Thanks for reading and listening.–Lynn from Sacramento, CA
Hi Dave, I have been out of it, I am taking the amount of meds i am suppose to now, I am nowhere near stable. I received some of your teachings today, I need to go through it. I would like to go to here you educate, I do not know how to travel, i have always been afraid of getting lost with myself, LOL. I am going to a family screening on the 16th, then my daughter will get a rapid return appt. I always feel like i am telling on myself when they ask has there been any family violence? No, unless you count the time I sliced up her dad or shot my sons father, or shot, but missed, my other daughters father. Then the lady asked me if i went to jail for that, i got away with that event, but i have been convicted on enough. Would we even be having the conversation if i wasnt nuts? How long before the meds kick in? Does everyone, can everyone get a lil’ better? Thanks again, Karen
Dave you must have been looking in on my house this week. I have bi-polar (diagnosed in 2001) I had an appt. on the 26th of October. I told the doctor that I was having really bad explosive episodes and she ask if I had been sleeping well. I told her that i hadn’t even been to bed before the appt. So she gave me ZyPrexa and Oxcarbazepine. (New for me. On Trileptal and Valium now) Well I convinced my supporter that the sideffects out weighed the benefits, and he bought it. Problem? I haven’t even taken the med’s to see if I even get the side effects. I use my other medical problems and the medication for that as an excuse for not mixing in my bi-polar medication. I have controlled seizures and glaucoma and chronic back problems. Which each have there own strong medications, one being morphine.
I have heard my dad say that bipolar is just an excuse and that I can control my outburst and I don’t need medication. My mom is the one that has to remind me to take a valium to calm when I start to fall over the edge. My live in supporter usely tells me to take my “Chill Pill” but unfortunately I get outraged when he says it and don’t take it just to annoy him. I know afterwards it was the right thing but I cant stop myself.
God bless all you loved ones for sticking by us!!!
This rang so many bells. We support my partner’s brother who has BP. He was not diagnosed for many years and had a reasonably successful career (with some blips) on stock market until about 5 years ago when he went into an episode, was taken into hospital and diagnosed, being put onto full time medication. He became a changed person – caring and thoughful, not manipulative, beligerent and selfish.
Then signs showed some time ago – he told us that people in his firm were out to get him – but it turned out there were some fraud problems at his work so he was ‘vindicated.’ He then maintained there was money to be made on shares and got my partner interested. We have no spare cash and alarm bells went off in my head but my partner took out a credit card without my knowledge and bought shares, which went belly up. His brother had come off his meds and was smoking dope. He was Sectioned and spent some time in hospital. He will never work in stocks and shares again and has no concept of what he did when he left off his meds. I/we now owe thousands and my partner has been diagnosed with hypomania (just short of mania); these things run in families. As things stand I will never get the debts paid before I have to retire so will have to sell my house to pay off mortgages/credit cards when I leave off work. I am holding down 2 jobs. My partner is contributing what he can but I have to be careful he does not get too stressed and go into a hypomanic episode.
Every person with BP is different. Episodes are different, supporters just need help. My son is in the hosp. for the 3rd time since June. He was released after fooling Drs. in August, readmitted, fooled judge in Sept. discharged, (discharge papers even stated staff was against release) readmitted now going to court for discharge on Thursday. He is still manic and delusional (lying also). Dr told us yeaterday that being psychotic is not illegal.
He is a wonderful son when not having an episode.This one caused by his Dr. taking him off his Risperdal and giving him only Depakote(another thing that won’t happen again because of this course).With Dave’s course we are working hard and fast to get our paperwork in order. The course has paid for itself in information. If you can’t afford it at least keep up with emails etc. I also learned as a non BP supporter I need counceling to better handle situations, by doing the check list.I only wish I had the information 10 years ago.
NOTE TO DANEILLE- your Mother needs to be in the hosp. she DOESN’T wan’t to act this way. It is the illness NOT her doing these things.
Thank you, Pep, for pointing out that we BP sufferers are all different. I unfairly got suspended from work without pay for something I allegedly did and said during a manic episode. Yeah, having this disorder is not illegal, we cannot help it. I try to take my meds most of the time, but meds are prescribed based on anectodal evidence to begin with. It’s amazing if any of we sufferers are getting the right combination.
On behalf of other BPs, I am sorry for family members who have to deal with people like us. I have often said to myself, “I cannot figure myself out.” Well, now I know why. God bless anyone who can figure out what the disorder will do to the person whose head it takes over.
That is why I am now being so proactive with my sons treatment, he was terminated from his job also. I will use all the tools avaiable to me to help. I like hearing how you feel. It helps me know how he might feel!
Deanna I still am soooo happy to have my son (29) and love him dearly. Sure there are tough times but if he had cancer, MS or whatever, I wouldn’t give up!The meds problem is so hard!!!!
Pep, hang in there. I live in PA and there are federal and state laws to protect that sort of thing from happening. We get blasted at work (a big corporation) with tolerance for sexual orietation and physical handicaps, but not for disabilities you cannot see, even though I was forthright about it over and over and over. In fact, I have a meeting with an attorney within hours. If this has happened to both your son and me, it has happened to others as well, includiing those who have yet to be clinically diagnosed!
Thank you for your post BTW.
to SUZANNEWA:
Just wanted to let you know that I think your comment was right on the mark.
I don’t want to get too personal, but you mentioned that you are on a sleep regimine OF YOUR CHOICE. I wondered what you mean by that, because my biggest problem has to do with sleep irregularity.
If you don’t want to answer this here on the blog (“in public”), but are willing to share your wisdom with me when it comes to sleep, I’m at susandrn@yahoo.com.
I also want to say that I really like the kind way that you always sign off on your blog entries…
God Bless, Sue
David,I can not understand how can you give such advice-to separate the BP from the person…This is simply not possible.I am all in blue spots after the recent attack of my”beloved ”guy who is only on Lithium for almost 2 years already and is in permanent epizode…he is blaming me all the time in everything you can imagine…he is so manic that he is coming to my office and spying me..he is convinced I have another…I can NOT STAY ANY MORE WITH HIM..my heart is bleading,Dave,he claims he loves me and in the same time he hits me..Terrible.!!No way to convince him to visit a doctor..to take a medicine,different from Lithium..Sorry,but to separate BP from him..I can not..He is a monster with a human view!!!!!!..And I only wanted to love him to help him and I did it for 2years….No hope at all.
CZJ
Deanna,
Thanks no I hold that my husband misses the highs. I actually miss them too. It is when he is feeling really good and having a high that we have the most fun. I enjoy the highs as well. that is as long he is handling them and he able to control them and he is not destructive or hurting others. WE both now know that we have to keep his highs in check or it can spiral out of control doing a lot of damage. I am hoping that he starts to feel well soon and I hope he is able to start feeling some of the highs that he used to feel. I hate and so does he that he is feeling so down. This comes from him having a destructive high and then he came crashing down attempting suicide two months ago.
Help! My husband now wants to take a second mortgage to pay off all the debt he’s run up. He still hasn’t seen a doctor, but is promising he will! I don’t trust him anymore. Way too beligerent and manipulative to beleive.
To BRENDA: Honey-chile, you’re playing with FIRE if/when you DON’T take your antipsychotic medications! I, too, have chronic and intractable back pain and am on morphine and Percocet daily for the pain. The only difference between you and me is, I double-up on my pain medicine, but – I DO take my paychotropic meds RELIGIOUSLY, to avoid hypomania which could easily segue into a full-blown manic episode!!
DON’T LIE to your supporters about taking your meds; if they’re to HELP you, they NEED to know the TRUTH. Hiding it from them, they will not be able to inform your doctors/hospital of what you’re taking, when you’re taking it, or even IF you’re taking it, should you suddenly “go off” and seriously need HELP.
I KNOW all about side effects of psychotropic meds; just give them 3-6 weeks to see if the med will WORK before giving up on it. If you don’t take them, how will you know if they work??!!
God bless you. I have you in my prayers.
To KAREN: A resounding “YES” you CAN get better. Have your family doctor refer you to a psychiatrist, or if you can’t afford a private shrink, try going to a Community Mental Health Clinic that charges on a sliding scale to what you can afford.
The lifetime of struggles you have endured in your past CAN BE a part of your PAST; it doesn’t HAVE to continue. By being on the proper medications, you will find that your symptoms will abate. Of course, they all have side effects, but working with your doctor, these can be minimized.
It also sounds like you have some anger issues. Perhaps a group on Anger Management could help. It would be like a 12-step program, which also does things on a day-to-day basis; that is, you take ONE DAY AT A TIME. I’m NOT saying it’s going to be EASY. You didn’t get in this condition overnight, and there are no instant cures, just maintenance with the bipolar.
But if you ARE properly motivated to follow a treatment plan, like Dave’s, by taking your meds religiously, getting plenty of sleep (they have sleeping pills that can help with this), avoid stressful situations, and follow your therapist’s suggestions – you WILL get better. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. I have faith in you; I had two physical fights with boyfriends 30 years ago, but haven’t touched ANYONE in anger since.
Just believe in YOURSELF. Find the RIGHT people to help you, and you WILL be on the road to recovery.
God bless you real good. My prayers are for you. Keep the faith.
Hi, my sister has not been diagnosed with BP however from all the information I have read and seen I strongly believe this is what she has. From a newborn my mother always said she was a difficult child and was continuously told by doctors she was nothing but a spoilt child. Which I can assure you was not true. How my mother coped over the years without help from others I will never know. She used to chuck tantrums, but they were different from any normal child, the whole neighbourhood could her, she would attack us (her siblings) scratching, biting and calling us names. She is now in her late teens and has starting with suicide threats, hourly changes in moods (high to low) and some how convinced her family, friends and previous job that she was pregnant. She went right through to nine months buying everything you need for a baby and everything. She eventually ended up falling pregnant (for real) 2 months before her pretend due date. Currently she is living with me (her older sister) and I am trying to get my partner and other people around me to understand that she needs help and she isn’t just a teenager with an attitude. It’s very hard to stay patient and the support systems that are supposed to be there to help us don’t seem to be able to help at all. I would like her to get help, however I am afraid to approach her as she honestly doesn’t think she has a problem. Please if you have any advice, I would love to hear from you.
Thank You
I had been in psychotherapy with Dr. Tom Peabody since 2003. I lost my mind this week and I called his office and I offend him telling his interest of making $3 for a minute listening to my bulls… I am very sorry to discontinue therapy this way. I know I have troubles with my self coping with my androgynous condition ( a woman with the brain perceptions of a man. I really feel bad to call him and apologize, but if someone let him know my struggles living entrapped here in a supportive hotel room in a City full of crab, brothels, monkey businesses, drug dealing, and lack of civic values to create a genuine community… His phone number is (650)6349807. I can’t do it again because I had some others episodes of anger in the past.Being bipolar, gay, and not politically correct by the establishment expectations is crude… Please someone who could understand me help me in this one!
To CJ: Since your little sister is ALREADY pregnant, make an appointment with her family doctor and get a referral to a psychiatrist. From what you say, she is seriously disturbed, and may have bipolar tendencies. It is always best to have a professional opinion, and not to assume she IS bipolar. If you can’t afford a private shrink, seek out the Community Mental Health Clinic, as they charge on a sliding scale you will be able to afford.
It is big of you to be taking care of her like you do, but she sounds like she’s able to be on her own. If this is NOT the case, you and your partner do NOT have to put up with her “temper tantrums.” She probably needs psychotropic medications to control her moods. In such case, ONLY a doctor can do this.
I wish you luck with your sister. She may be reluctant to go along with this suggestion, but if she is expecting a child, she NEEDS to be stable. She’s gotten away with a LOT during her life, and now has to have her “eyes opened” to reality. Sometimes the best help is “tough love,” but it CAN backfire with a bipolar, so tread lightly.
God bless you real good. You have my prayers for your sister’s recovery.