Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.
I had an interesting conversation with two people yesterday. They both had bipolar disorder, and had both been in recovery for some time. One of them was completely passionate about going into the field of advocacy and making a career out of it.
The other one felt – well – almost like they were being guilt-tripped into it. Not that anyone was trying to put pressure on them to do anything, just that they felt obligated to give back. But they didn’t really have the passion behind them.
This had me worried. I sat down and talked to her about whether she should really be doing this or not. If this wasn’t what she really wanted, then it wasn’t going to make her happy. She would burn out easier that way.
She would also just flat-out not be as much use as someone who was more into it would be. Someone who was more into it would be more capable of getting other people excited about the cause, and of giving hope to someone who had none before.
If she did this because she felt obligated, then those factors would be missing. It’s even possible that she’d do more harm than good.
I had to explain to her that not every person who has bipolar disorder was made to be an advocate. Some are, of course. But those people are usually very sure that it’s what they want to do.
She had been under the false assumption that because this hand was dealt to her, that she should help others who had been dealt the same thing. Well, maybe to some extent that’s true. Maybe it’s true that if she meets someone who has bipolar that could use some advice she has learned that she should pass it on. Maybe it’s true that if she meets someone who is having similar difficulties that she ought to be nice to them and encourage them. But that’s different from being an advocate.
Maybe you’re considering becoming an advocate. You might be a supporter or someone with the disorder. If you really want to become an advocate for your own reasons, than that is great. All the better, in fact. But if you feel like life, someone, or your own feelings are pressuring you in that direction, then it’s probably not the right direction to go.
If you’re not sure, then there are things you can do to make yourself more sure. Like, for instance, volunteering for six weeks at a non-profit support group. If you don’t like it, you’ve only obligated yourself for one hour a week for six weeks. If you do like it, then you’ve just gotten your foot in the door to do more work like that.
We need all of the advocates we can get. They come in many shapes and sizes, and even many titles (ranging from psychiatrist and psychologist to social worker all the way to volunteer!) But we don’t need any advocates that are in the wrong place doing something they don’t want to do.
It’s a great life, if that’s the one you want to live, and I’m certainly not trying to discourage anyone from taking it on. I would just ask you to make sure of yourself that this is what you really want to do.
If it is, then welcome aboard. If not, then I wish you all the happiness in the world doing whatever you should choose to do! Any thoughts?
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Thank you. I was struggling with this issue.
Definetly I am willing to become an advovate, and help others in my situation!
I would like to learn how to help a person see that there is a problem. Thanks.
Dave,
Strange and incedently my sons’ name is Dave.
I have been advacating for my son since he was 17 years old with this health issue he has needed help now for 24 years.Iam well aware of the work it takes to survive with a person with this illness.You know as well as I do it is like living on a roaller coaster every day and I don’t mean like the one at Disneyland!Which I’ve been acused of by un-friends who know us and there own blood children who live with me.You have to be a pilar of stone to cope with this type of health issue.I needed help yesterday!I was advised to go to NAMI from my therrapist and this is my next journey.Also I need to take my g’children who are teens and that is not an easy task…They are fighting every bit of the way.For one does not think there is an issue at all.Come to my house and see what you think!
Linda
The female and male form of YOU, of course!!! BIPOLAR seen in an artistic “light”
That reminds me of a story of Jesus – when TWO PEOPLE told him “others you saved, save urself”! FAMOUS WORDS THAT MADE HIM KNOWN AS THE
THE FATHER’S FAVORITE. Trust that there is a Power Greater than urself watching and controlling your very destiny as you speak. Those people probably thought he abandoned by the very ones you didnt’ expect that from – REMEMBER GOD IS ALWAYS THERE THOUGH!!!!
I would like to look in this. How would I go about it?
It’s best to volunteer because you want to do something rather then feeling obligated that you should. We are happy when we make choices to do what we want to do.
I have been advocating for our 10 year old son for almost 6 years …yeah I know he is young but was diagnosed very young anyway I won and he is finally getting what he needs in and out of school. So, “advocacy” just took on a new meaning for me. This article just brought it full circle for me like a light!!!! I didn’t know what strength was until these past several years…only you bp parents know what that special daily strength is? you have for your kids. Think I am going to find a group that can link me to a family that needs a advocate for special bipolar child in my area?
Good one today Dave. Thanks for pointing out that NOT “stepping up” is as OK as volunteering for every event that comes along.
Right on the money.
i would like to help advocate no idea how to start but i had bussiness before the recen one i have to fold because of an injury from work. that is all how it got started
I think that Dave is absolutely right.
If a person(bipolar, or not bipolar) wants to join in the role of an effective advocate helping people “get through”any particular type of battle or troubling set of circumstance/s in their lives, they must examine their own sense of self and see where they are currently at in the process of evolving as the best supporter they can become.
So then we must begin by making sure that we have “arrived” to where we can be a positve advocate and are ready to try to meet the daily challenges of advocacy. Again, this applies to everyone, not just those who happen to be bipolar.
We must be very careful to bear in mind that we also need to have the degree of consistency and stability in our personal lives that we must have before we can join the full role of helping others “arrive” at their optimum level of functioning.
If as a volunteer, social worker, psychiatrist, or family member we see that we are about ready to be “burnt-out”, then we MUST take care of ourselves too if we want to have a positive effect in our attempts to deal with the roller coaster ride that bipolar disorder can bring our way.The good news is that we CAN
win in our quest to conquer the difficulties bipolar disorder can present to us.
If we need to get support for ourselves in our careers as advocates we must do this as much as necessary if we want to be effective.
The advocate, whether bipolar or not ,must take care and try to keep themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy.Easy siad, sometimes very challenging.
That is why as an advocate I also ask for the help that I see that I amy need it.
I hope this helps someone on their road to recovery . I do know that we can manage to begin the process of taking control of our lives and in the lifelong process of helping those that need us,no mattter how that we are affected bipolar disorder.
Have faith that God is present in our lives and will never give us more than we can handle. We just need to keep tring get the help that we need and that we WILL need will need for a lifetime. This applies to everyone no matter what they are dealing with..
I have dealt personally with bipolar diorder in my life and have been on ” both sides of the desk” for many, many years.
I believe with all of my heart that we can work to
regain control of our lives as we live it from day to day.
If I can be of help or support to anyone in their road to recovery, I am willing to try to help them, as
folks have helped me for the better part of my life.
Being a true advocate has many everlasting rewards. Just make sure that you are ready and that this is truly your calling. The wisdom to know the difference will only come with time.
I am doing a lot of work in South Africa advocating for greater understanding in the community, and for mental health professionals to work together for a holistic approach to mental health. I have just had my book A Manic Marriage published. I am loving what I am doing, and getting such great feedback as people seem to be desperate for information and support. However my husband battles with this, as he feels that I am taking advantage of his disorder. I am the supporter. So where does one draw the line when one is a supporter? He understands I am helping people, but finds it difficult that I am using him in a way. Any comments?
I stumbled onto your Website by sheer luck. First, I was told I suffer from this disorder when I broke down in October 2007 and had to be hospitalized for 2 weeks. Since then, I have been under medication, and, Thank God I have not had another breakdown. But I am still a worried woman because I do not fully understand what heppened or what this disorder is all about. Unfortunately, my Doctor did not explain to me exactly what this condition is all about and what I should expect in future, how long I have to be on medication and so on. I am 71 years old, retired and a widow having worked for about 47 years of my life. Can you help me by first explaining to me exactly what this disorder is?
Thank you
Sorry, I need to mention that I live alone with only a young girl who is my House Helper. So I have no one to talk to about my problems and my grown-up daughters never told me what the Doctors told them during those two weeks I was in Hospital. So, I am always anxious because I do not know what is going and what exactly I am suffering from and this is not a situation you can discuss with your Parish Friends or members of your Church Group. At times, I get quite distressed.
What type of formal or informal information do you have knowledge of regarding training to be an Advocate. I work with a recovery program which treates dual-diagnosed clients. I am a Nurse, but have no tangible or trained knowledge regarding mental health issues. I desperately need the information on involuntary treatment assistance, but I am not able to afford a $50.00 packet. The program I work for is a 501(c)3 and our budget will not allow for this expense, and my salary certainly doesn’t. Help!!
I would like some info on formal training and education since I am actively employed in this area.
would like to take course
Dave,
Your subjects get better daily!!! I’can’t wait to go back to school, so I can become some type of social worker. I’m trying to get a bunch of stuff taken care of in my personal life until January, so I’ll be freed up to concentrate strictly on school. I know God put me on this earth for a great reason, which after 42 years I think your subject today is my calling.
John Burke
I would like to look in this. How would I go about it?