Hi,
Have you ever known a real controlling person? Someone who had to be in control of everything
(and everyone) around them? This type of person can be very annoying. They can go from, say, if it’s someone you’re dating and they order your dinner for you… Or someone you’re married to and they pick out your outfit for you… To your boss who tells you what to do… And exactly how to do it! Controlling people absolutely have to have control. If they ever feel that something is not in their control, they feel very insecure. And they do everything they can to bring everything back into their control.
Well…I’m not saying you’re like that or anything…Please, please don’t be offended or think that I’m saying that, because I’m not saying that at all. But what I am saying is that each of us likes to think that we are at least in control of our own little world around us. We know we can’t exactly predict every little thing…But we do like to know that some things are at least predictable. But people can frustrate us. Because people aren’t predictable. And people can’t be controlled. They will do what they want to do anyway.
So in life…There are some things that are under your control…And some things that aren’t.
That’s just the way it is. So when you’re dealing with a loved one who has bipolar disorder…
You have to accept that they fall under the category of not being able to control them. No matter how much you might want to. And that can be very, very frustrating. Especially when you see them doing things that are destructive and self-destructive.
So what can you do? You have to practice the concept of: LETTING GO. You can only do so much. In other words…There is only so much that is under your control. The rest is out of your control. So the rest you have to learn to let go of. You have to trust that things will work out the
way they should. And that is the hard part. Trust. Because by this point, your loved one has probably blown your trust in them by the things they’ve done in their bipolar episodes. So it could be very difficult for you to trust them at all. Ok, so maybe we have to leave the trust issue alone for a little while. Maybe we’ll have to build up to trust. And that will come with time.
But you can let go of those things you can’t control. You can at least do that.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
LIKE CONTROLLING A RELATIONSHIP TO GO IN A DIRECTION IT SHOULD NEVER GO?
FOR EXAMPLE – ALL YOU HAD WAS A WORKING RELATIONSHIP (SAY YOU WORK WITH PEOPLE WITH DISORDERS) AND NOW YOUR COLLEAGUES WANT TO BE “YOUR FAMILY” OR WORST YET “YOUR LOVERS (THE WORST ONES IMAGINABLE)”!!!!!
look we all have to interact with one another for one reason or another but there’s only two things we have to do in this lifetime
Pay Taxes (God and Country)
Die
can’t control this inevitabiltiy can we??? no…..we can however control who we see as
Neighbor
Lover
Friend
we can control what our name means when it is called by
Family members
Complete strangers
lovers
the help one needs is truly within — once we tap in we can FIRST help ourselves and then help the other ones that we “want” to help not “have” to help.
forcing or controlling never got us anywhere take this news from a Woman who knows how many men Feel…it’s just such a “crappy” feeling when you’ve tried everything to satisfy a person and the person still wont be happy….
let go and accept that
Hi friend,
some people are predictable though — it’s due to the very experienced they’ve encountered in life that makes them must have absolute control of themselves…
Maybe they’ve decided to follow a new path that will never lead them to disappointment ever…please, please give them an empathetic ear…..
they will never allow anyone to control the most valuable thing to them themselves….ever again
they decide
who is mate
who is friend
whos is platonic and what curses mean – they decide and that’s because their last controller did an awful job with them so they’ve taken over the job of controller of self and it’s how they see themselves that matters….just a new way to look at someone else’s life