Hi,

There is a HUGE bipolar disorder lesson at the
bottom of this email. I mean it. Read this
entire thing carefully.

I am serious and not kidding around.

Okay.

What a day it was yesterday. I had a hurt back. A huge
headache. I was all bipolared out by the end of
the day. I know “bipolared” out is not a word
so you don’t have to write me and let me know 🙂

I want to use it because this this is my
daily email, I can make the rules 🙂

Anyway, some good news and bad news. You remember
the person that worked for me that had to go
into a psychiatric hospital well she
is out now and doing well. She should be
all back and working in about 12 days or so.

She is working on articles titled “From
the inside out–real stories from
in a mental institution.” These articles
will be free for you to read and tell
others about. I will drop you an email
when they are up and where they are posted.

The stories she told me were amazing.

Okay, like I said, I heard my back
and it feels like someone is stabbing
me. Why I am telling you this? Just
so you know :).

Then I had many calls yesterday. One
from a person in d.ebt that needed
URGENT advice which I gave only to
realize this person took know notes
and then called back later to ask
the same questions again. NO this
person did not have bipolar disorder.

This was a supporter of someone with
bipolar disorder.

Then I got another call and this one
kind of annoyed me.

I picked up the phone because I thought
it was a friend of mine. Anyway it wasn’t.

It was someone calling from Brazil. I could
barely hear the person. It sounded really
really really far away.

I said “hello………….” and then after
a minute I heard “Are you there……….”

This went on for like 8 or 9 minutes. Finally
I heard the person ask if it was me, David Oliver,
I said yes. She then proceeded to ask me for
help.

Then I was worried because I had to leave
to go out with a friend and I knew it
was going to be tough to get off the phone,
or even hear or even understand because the
person told me they “spoke little English.”

I must say, I am not sure what was even said
or asked. I believe the person wanted some kind
of help. What kind I am not sure. I think she
had a boyfriend with bipolar disorder. She
wanted to know possibly some hospital he could
go to. I told the woman I don’t know of any.

She said, “You can’t help????” I said “no
I can’t. I don’t know any hospitals.”

Then I made the HUGE and I mean HUGE mistake
of trying to explain my philosophy of doctors,
hospitals, and therapists that I explain
in all my courses/systems. I don’t think
she understood or heard me. I am not sure
which one. But she kept asking me for I guess
a name.

I don’t even know the names of hospitals in the
US or even in my own state let alone Brazil.

I did tell her to call 911 or help or whatever
system there is in Brazil if there is an emergency.

Then I said that I really have to go because
someone is waiting for me.

Then she said “You won’t help me?” I said, “
I am unable to tell you a hospital in Brazil.”

Then she said she needed one in San Diego, CA.
I said that I didn’t have names there and tried
to explain that she needed to call the police
for a possibly list. She said that wouldn’t help.

Then she said to me, “You are not like your
website. You say you want to help people. I
ask for help and you no help me. You
don’t want to help people. You are different
than your website and emails. It’s not true.”

I was like, “What are you talking about?”

So then I wound up “defending myself” about
how I really did have to go, I don’t know
any hospitals and I can’t really understand
or hear her. I tried to explain that if she
could fax me with a clear list of questions
she had in English, I would respond in writing
with what I thought.

Then she started yelling at me saying all
kinds of things. Some I didn’t understand
some I did. Nothing nice. Bad things
about me.

Then she said and I will never forget
this, “I hope you don’t have a nice
day tomorrow because you didn’t
help me.”

She then hung up on me. After all
of this, the person waiting for me
was gone. So I wound up doing nothing.

BIG BIPOLAR LESSON

First, this lady clearly tried to manipulate
me into staying on the phone. Which I fell
for because I spent more time than I should
have.

If you are supporting someone with bipolar
disorder I am sure you are familiar with
this technique a person with the disorder
uses if he/she is not stable.

NOTE the person who called said she
didn’t have bipolar disorder. I find that many
supporters call and try to manipulate me into
staying on the phone and answering every
single last question they would possibly
think of. Back in the day I would spend
hours and hours on the phone and
sometimes I would call back and find that
the vast majority of people NEVER remembered
or used any of the information I gave them.

HUGE BIPOLAR LESSON FOR EVERYONE

I am going to try to make this really
clear because it’s confusing. I think what
I am about to say will generate hate mail
to me. You know the “you’re going to hell,
shame on you, God hates you, you are a terrible
person, you’re the worst, I hope you die,
etc.”

But you need to know. I think this is
so important. I don’t know why or how
I learned this.

Let me try to explain.

Nobody HAS TO help you with anything
related to bipolar disorder whether
you have bipolar disorder or you are
supporting someone with bipolar disorder.

Please read this again slowly and carefully
and then we will talk about it.

Nobody HAS TO help you with anything
related to bipolar disorder whether
you have bipolar disorder or you are
supporting someone with bipolar disorder.

Now before you get super mad and say, “What
the heck Dave, I thought you were going
to help me.” I am to some extent.

But listen to me carefully. Obviously
bipolar disorder can be a nightmare to
deal with. Both supporters and survivors
need a lot of help. Right? Right.

BUT I notice that many people and this
includes both supporters and survivors
believe that EVERYONE and anyone needs
to help them and is obligated or suppose
to help them.

I hear people demanding doctors take them
in for f..ree. Or therapists offer f.ree unlimited
therapy. People demand f.ree. medication.

People demand that doctors, friends, family
members, therapists listens for hours and
hours and hours to all their problems. This is
both supporters and survivors.

These two groups demand lots of attention and
then get super mad when someone doesn’t want
to help, listen or have anything to do
with it.

For example, people think if they reach me,
at 1:00am I should stay on the phone all
night long listening to stories and offering
help. I use to do this and I got so mad
and frustrated that I started hating doing
all of this. I almost one day ordered every
thing to be taken done. That was like a year
ago.

Then Michele who has bipolar, adhd, ocd and
borderline personality disorder told me I was
“out of my mind” and “crazy” and that she
was going to put new systems and rules in
place that I better follow and that if I
did I would start really liking all of this
again.

She put the rules in place and it started working
great. Because people were demanding so much
time from me, I thought my brain would explode.

On a side note, it’s funny that Michele tells
me that I am crazy sometimes. She is super
smart. She has this amazing ability to simplify
complex problems. Problems we sit around
trying to figure out for days she figures
out in 15 minutes so then it’s like
she is a nuclear scientist coming into
the kitchen and helping his kids add and
subtract for school.

Actually yesterday I spoke to her after this
incident and she said she is going to “make
more rules and systems” while she is on
vacation. She said that there will be no
more phone calls to me when she is done.

Which I have to agree, many people
are abusing this. People call me almost
24 hours a day on every line, fax, cell,
work, home, and another line. I have
no idea how people get my numbers.

The problem is, I never know what
people are calling for what. Sometimes
my consulting clients call and I have
to take their phone call because
they pay really, really, really
well 🙂

But back to what I was saying so you
don’t think I have ADD.

There are many people that can help
you and will help you. But there are many
people who won’t. You can NOT force
people to help you. If someone doesn’t
want to help you or have the time, simply
move on to some one or something else.

And never use the “God is going to get
you. You are mean or an evil person” strategy
to force people to help you. If you ever
did that shame on you. I get that a lot.

You should NEVER guilt someone into helping
you out with bipolar disorder.

For example, my brother offers no help
whatsoever to my myself or my mom. He will
not lift a finger. No matter what he
will not help. I accepted that and
don’t ask ever. Why? Because he won’t
help. Should he help his mother and his
brother? One could probably make a strong
argument about this but I choose to
spend my time finding people who do
want to help not the ones who don’t.

You’re going to get really frustrated
if you focus on who refuses to help
you instead of who may help you.

Make sense?

I know I can sit on the phone for 20
hours a day helping people long distance.

If I did, I would go insane. Then you would
see no daily emails, no websites, nothing.

I put together courses/systems so people
could get all the information in one spot
quickly and easily. Can you believe people
call me and ask if I will send 10 cds and
all my courses/systems for f.ree and
I should because I am suppose to be helping
people?

It’s the strangest thing.

You can help yourself by getting my
systems/courses. OR you can choice
to figure it all out on your own.

It’s up to you.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com