HEY…..
Wots up campus. davie how many times has your computer broke this year. A no what you mean about change, you get use to the same thing, but if nothings changed then it will all ways be the same. I think I need to make big changers but its kind of orquade. You could look in at the
situation and say change it but its easier said than done. its not as simply as changing computer soft were.
Take Care Linda x

Dave this has a little to do with your commit my son does that same thing chaging or stoping all the time but I need help from you in this matter here.my sons 23 I am a single mom and have always suported him and now hes real close to gettting his disablity I need help to pay for limited guardianship and conservatorship so hes not a case as I have heard about from a friend and end up with nothing in the end.Is there help out there to help me?

I like that word “upgrade”
Thats what it is all about – if things aren’t working the old way upgrade – my daughter had persistent and life threatening depression awith constant suicidal thoughts ( even although she was taking her medication every day ) on a daily basis for a weeks – she told her psychiatrist they both decided to change her medicaion – voila!!! a months worth of happy settled lovely woman.
When the old ways of approaching my daughter during her episodes did not work – I upgraded – I let go of all those stereotypical ideas and minset and discrimination about mental illness ie., depression is another word for laziness , that mental illness is contagious, that all mentally ill patients are dangerous and so on and I learn’t new ways of communicating with my daughter and thinking about Bipolar: Like I no longer believe that my daughter deliberately mean’t to do the things she did( throw all the contents of her apartment out of the window; disown her children and hit me)my daughter did not wish this horrendous disease onto herself, that BP is no respector of race or creed or wealth or poverty.
Upgrading ones mind set is life affirming and frees one from negative thoughts and behaviour and allows supporters the ability to be supportive for their loved one
regards
Shona

Either I seem to attract people with bipolar or maybe there are just alot of people out there with this condtion. I was thinking about this,we all know there are givers and takers in life and I have been blessed to be a giver. I have a very calm personality, I’m a good listener and am always willing to help others. I work two full time jobs and have very little time for anything else now, but always seem to find the time to give to others. It gives me a sense of being needed and I suppose keeping busy helps me not to dwell on my own life needs or disappointments.
The first time I ever heard of bipolar was when my now ex husband was diagnosed. I read everything I could get my hands on about treatments and medications. I went to all the doctor’s appointments and wow how fustrating it became, I feel the pain of those going through this as well as what supporters go through. It was a very hard road, dealing with doctors, medications and the cost of it all. Nothing seemed to be working, I was feeling so helpless. My husband was having affairs,was suicidal had a major sleeping disorder (not sleeping for days) and always felt tired or sick. One day he left home, stayed in a hotel with his girlfriend for 6 months not talking to anyone to include work, friends and family. He hated the world. They finally got an apartment, went back to work and he seems to be doing alot better. I’ve run into him from time to time, he said he still suffers, has his ups and downs but is dealing. He won’t take any medications, he said it makes him feel worse and some medications even made him hear voices. He still has his ups and downs, but has found working out helps him stay more focused. Although I was very hurt by the affairs I put my feelings aside and thought about what he must be going through, I’m forgiving and not judgemental. I did alot of praying, since I can’t fix everything, I have come to accept the situation and will love him always as a friend and will wait until he needs my help again. In the meantime, I feel better knowing someone is with him and he’s not alone.
I’ve been single now for two years, live in a two bedroom apartment and as mentioned earlier am a workaholic. My best friend recently had her 65 yr old uncle and his 25 yr old son move on island, she asked me if they could stay in my extra room until they got settled. Since I’m never home, I agreed. Since they’ve moved in it’s been one drama after another. I got a call to come to the emergency room the first week they were here, they had been at a beach bar and got into a fight, the son was stabbed in the hand, both had blood everywhere head to toe. They said they were starting a business (hot dog stand) and once up and running would be moving into their own place. They both love to spend money, however, both don’t have jobs. The father lives on old money and the son I found out was on disability for bipolar. His dad said he is not taking medication anymore because it made him worse. He has been taken to the mental hospital 4 times in the last 2 years. The son receives around $700 a month, lost his drivers lis and has not finished high school or his GED. Since here the son keeps talking about getting a job,going to school but never follows through. Recently, I’ve seen some behaviors that are not normal and the dad says to ignore it, he said he’s just trying to get attention and by ignoring him, he’ll stop. A day ago the son was eating so fast and making animal noises, then began throwing up everything he just ate, after– letting out a loud roaring sound. The other day the dad’s girlfriend came over, the son went into his room, came out dressed in all black, with his head covered in a t-shirt and a bandana as a mask, he sat on the counter with only his eyes showing, grabbed a spoon and was playing with it. When the girl friend (38 yrs old) teased him and poked in in the arm he brushed her hand away. She said “you look like you want to throw me off the balcony” he said “did you hear that, she wants me to throw her off the balcony”. Then he grabbed a knife and played with it. He dad then said to stop scaring everyone and made him go change. Last week the dad bought his son a $2,000 moped, the son was playing around, doing tricks and crashed it. The son gets up in the morning, makes this huge breakfast for him and his dad, but then leaves the stove on. It’s something new everyday, I’ve talked to the dad and told him he really needs to monitor him. The son will start laughing for no reason at all and go into his own world. I have to wonder, he’s on disability because he acts up on the job, yet at the same time he has to much time on his hands, in all the while getting in trouble. Since his dad is retired, he keeps him busy running errands with him all day, but I think maybe he should get into some sort of exercise program to let out some of that fustration. Sometimes he’s totally normal, but when least expected he does does something destructive. He has spray painted his sister’s car (the words BITCH), just one thing after another.
Wish me luck

David,

I am so greatful for your newsleeters everyday. They ahve been a great help to me but I am still struggling. I am learning more and more everyday about my boyfriends illness but it still doesn’t seem to be enough. We have been dating for awhile now and living together since January. He and his daughters moved in with me and my daughters and life was great. Then his grandmother got very ill and he lost it (they are very close). Ever since then his illness has gooten worse. He takes his meds but is still having plenty of issues. A few weeks ago, we got into it and he moved out. He still stays here alot and comes around but its different. He told me that he is my boyfriend and that he loves me but doesn’t want to live with me anymore right now. How do you just back up like that? He knows it hurts me but says he doesn’t know what to do. We talked about splitting up but that makes us both sad too. I think he needs a re-evaluation of his meds and that he needs to talk to the dr. but that freaks him out too. What do I do? How do I continue to be there for him when sometimes he forgets to be there for me?

Thanks,
Kathy

Thanks David for your many emails and information, and knowledge, and for helping us, the millions. I am 46 years old. Just last year I was diagnosed with bi-polar and borderline personality disorder. I honestly disagree with the diagnosis of Bi-polar because I no longer am depressed for long periods of time. I am however, a borderline. I was abandoned many times starting from the age of 4. My biological mother died when I was 3, and my father left all twelve of his children just about one year later. And continuously I was being dumped off at strange babysitters from ages 4 to 6 crying my head off; being dumped off at foster homes from ages 4 to 17 crying my head off. And I have had volatile, tumultuous relationships and job incidents that always eventually ended due to my drunkedness, inappropriate anger, insubordinations, impulsivities, $18,00.00 debt, reckless driving/car crashes, and fluctuating up and down moods, always crying. Looking back, All of this started happening in my early twenties and lasted until just about a year ago! Around the time I was diagnosed. I have gone through 3 drug and alcohol rehabs, and not one of them detected the source of my addictions! I have gone through therapist after therapist-not one ever mentioned the term Borderline Personality Disorder! They either couldn’t or wouldn’t due to fear. Fear of complicated and compromising patient/therapist relationship! I was surfing the internet one day late last year, 2008, around October. And lo and behold I found David Oliver talking about borderline disorder! I open my computer every day and am ready to read what new news and information David has to give me on the subject matter. But I have an important question. Why do you not have a blog and email address for us borderline’s?? I always want to write you back or comment on the borderline news..???? From Rosa Ortiz