Hi,
I hope you’re having a good day.
Hey, yesterday I saw two really good movies you could check out if you want.
They revolve mental health issues and are totally unrealistic but they are good movies : )
One is The Uninvited and the other is The Lodger.
Check them out if you like. I thought they were good.
Okay, let’s jump into today’s topic.
When we were children, it seemed like we spent most of our time waiting.
(At least that’s how it felt to us.)
Waiting for recess…
Waiting for lunch…
Waiting for the school day to be over…
Waiting for winter break…
And Spring break…
And best of all…Summer break!
Waiting for Christmas and all our gifts…
Waiting for birthdays and all our presents…
Waiting to grow up…
(Now that was a big one, wasn’t it?)
“I can’t wait to grow up, because then [whatever]”
Well, not much changes when you’re an adult.
There’s still that, “I can’t wait till [whatever], because then…”
Let me tell you about the difference between bad waiting and good waiting.
Have you ever heard that saying, “Just waiting for the other shoe to fall”?
Well, with bipolar disorder, that would mean that you would just be waiting around for the next episode to happen.
That’s bad waiting, because you’re not enjoying your time with your loved one during their normal time between episodes.
Another example of bad waiting is unproductive waiting.
That’s when you wait for something to happen without doing anything about it (or waiting for someone else to do it for you).
I talk about it this in my courses/systems when I talk about problem solving.
The problem will never get solved if you wait around and expect someone else to solve it for you.
You actively have to look for solutions to it.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
With bad waiting, you might wait forever for something that might never happen.
Like waiting for bipolar disorder to get better all by itself, when you can do something to help our loved one to get better.
On the other hand, there is good waiting.
Good waiting is like having a positive attitude.
Like understanding that recovery is a process and that you have to be patient and wait for it.
Stability doesn’t happen overnight.
But, like what I was talking about with problems and expecting someone else to solve them for you and how it just doesn’t happen…
If you do what you can to manage bipolar disorder…
Stability WILL eventually happen!
Being a supporter means practicing good waiting.
It means believing that one day recovery (stability) will happen for your loved one.
(Of course you still have to do what you can to help them achieve that stability in the meantime).
By practicing good waiting, you can help make things happen that otherwise might not happen.
What do you think?
Do you agree with me that there is a difference between bad waiting and good waiting?
How have you seen this in your own life?
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
I absolutely agree about good waiting and bad waiting. Point blank bad waiting is unproductive and faithless.
The good waiting we exercise with our loved one is faith based; actively supportive; constructive and with a good treatment plan. Since diagnosis in 2005; has committed to his medication; regular psychologist and psychopharmacologist visits; has held the same job since 2006 (health benefits are critical to their care); maintains open and regular contact with supportive parents; has kicked the marijuana (afraid of how it makes them feel with the meds); unfortunately is substituting with alcohol (and we are constructively good waiting and assisting to get under better control).
Doing nothing is foolish and will result in bad results. Good waiting is healthy both for the loved one and their supporters.
All of this good waiting sounds good, but in reality, I have tried this, hoping upon hope that it will work, but am having my doubts. Does anyone have infor on naturalpathic medicine rather than the chemicals prescribed by doctors. This seems to be the biggest roadblock. My son, now 40 year of age, diagonised approx. 7 years ago, – still refuses the meds prescribed by Dr’s. I need help and fast. I can not see me putting my son back in hopsital – he does not belong there.
My hands are tied. Need to find another alternative, and I can’t seem to get any from doctors. Has anyone heard of Autum Stiener or something like that, who also had bipolar and found an alternative through vitamins.
I am at my wits end, and feel ready to give up on my son. His last episode I guess you call it was just two weeks ago. He through everything he had out – tv, vcr, clothes, all the gifts I had done without to provide him with, and on and on.
I believe his actions were louder than words, and he had no respect for me or all I have done for him all I gave up to get him back on tract and now am back to square one again. I am ready to just let him know, I no longer support him, its pretty hard to help someone who does not want to help themselves.
At the end of my rope and its getting harder and harder to hang on.
Hi Dave
I have been recieving your emails since I decided to become stable only took 20 years. I can’t have those wasted years of ups and downs back but I have the future of stability to look forward to. Yes it takes patience but oh is it worth the good waiting.
Thanks for you
Sandra Ruth
Hi there.
yes Dave Ive learn’t the difference between the 2 waitings – the hard way and I only changed when it became imperative that if I didn’t change the way I supported my daughter I would not be able to stop my daughter from commiting suicide
To Mary:
“Natural herbs”are not going to help your loved one and I know that from bitter experience it simply delays the inevitable decision that you have to make Mary- neither is believing your loved one does not belong in hospital with all those people.I’ve been down that road with my daughter – it made the journey so much more hazadous and down right life threatening for my daughter.There is a time when you can no longer help you loved one yourself,and then you have to be brave and courageous and hospitalize him so that others can help before he does something terrible to himself.
the one thing he has to come to realise is that he has Bipolar and that is his courageous and lonely journery
Be brave
My daughter has been in a positive mindset for a month she comes home tomorrow I love my daughter.
Regards
and thank you David for all your advice
Shona
Just when I think you will run out of great advice, here pops up the best one, but then again I said the one before was the best advice. This enlightened me. Thanks Jeannie
Waiting around is not the solution beleive you me, nothing gets solved.
Take Care Linda.
No amount of positive thinking will avert someone beig subjected to another, either manic or depressive episode.
The same applies to stability.
Like a lot of things, you don’t always get what you want. Stability is not an option for a lot of us.
We just have to do the best we can, and sometimes,just hope it turns out all right.
I think that the comments on your site might given a little more weight.
If someone consulted a dictionary and check the spelling for the words for the final thing we see in your column.
Previose Post?
To SHONA: I’m sooo glad about your happy news concerning Rachel…you have fought the good fight, and now, perhaps you will see more stability in her reactions to life around her. I applaud your loving support of your daughter – she is LUCKY to have you!!
With my “mixed episodes,” I am in the process of “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” The lawsuit is up in the air, as are all the other stressors in my life. Occasionally, something GOOD will happen during the week – I heard from someone I had known 20 years ago, who I’ve been thinking about and even had a DREAM about a couple nights ago! God works in mysterious ways…and He is my Sword and my Shield. My faith is what keeps me going.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
Waiting…there’s also the “waiting to stop waiting!” I have experienced this frustration of not being motivated enough to move toward the possibility of “doing, not viewing.” It’s the sitting around and hoping I will get going with my life someday that hurts me the most.
So I decided to take a friend’s advice and, starting May 1st, I began a project…to act as if I have 6 months to live–and that’s it. I set up a group of 10 major goals, including finish writin 3 books and writing and beginning to give 7 speeches! So far, in 4 days, I have made exponential progress, knowing I only, now, have 181 days left until my 6 months is up. Now, I don’t plan on dying in 6 months, but acting as if I will puts the fire under my toes—and I’m creating a memorable life because of it. I stopped “waiting to stop waiting!”
Rich M., Milwaukee
I like the idea of good waiting and bad waiting, sounds like passive and active waiting, too. I feel like I could use more help with active waiting.