=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=
Hi,
How’s it going?
I hope you are doing well.
I have to make this quick today. I actually
have a ton of things to do today.
I wanted to tell you a quick story and then
an important lesson with bipolar disorder.
Over the last year or so, I have had a
major problem with a manufacturer for one
of my businesses. It’s a really long story
but to make it short and simple–the company
is a nightmare to deal with.
Think of somebody or something you hate dealing
with and then multiply by about a 1000. That’s
what it’s like dealing with this company.
So I have a friend and business partner that
has been working to try to solve a number of
these problems.
In the last week there was a meeting. Each day
I waiting to get a call with an update on what
was going on.
I never did.
Yesterday I finally got a phone call in the
evening. He was walking through
the airport trying to catch his plane.
At the same time he was talking to me
about supposedly important stuff, he was
talking to the people in the airport. Then
his cell phone dropped. Then he called
back.
Then he was talking to security. Then he
was telling me to keep talking to him while
he was talking to security. Then he couldn’t
hear me.
It was seriously DRIVING ME OUT OF MY MIND!
I was so annoyed. We have a major problem
and this is how we are trying to solve it?
I should note, my partner in this business
wants me to stay with the manufacturing company. I think
that we should have left years ago. Unfortunately
I can leave but if I do, it will cost him, not
me a ton of money. So I have been putting up
with this nightmare for a long time now.
Anyway, my friend then gets on the plane and
is trying to talk to me about what happen
at the meetings, what changes where going
to come in the future and how this was supposedly
suppose to allegedly help me (hear the sarcasm
in my writings?)
Then the pilot starts talking. So then I
can’t hear. Then my friend said, “hey,
I will call you later on to tell you the
rest of what happen.”
I was thinking, “you haven’t old me anything
so far anyway?”
He said he would land get to the hotel
and call me immediately. It would take about
2 hours. Well guess what?
HE NEVER CALLED.
I can’t even describe how annoying this
is.
Now yesterday I was talking to my mom
about her doctor and why she likes her so
much.
My mom says that basically it’s because
she cares. She listens. She pay attentions
and my mom said, “she is always there when
I need her.” My mom then went on to say
how the three times that she needed her
over the last two years right away, she
called right back. My mom said how
most of her doctors over the years were
terrible.
My mom reminded me how her last doctor
never even returned her call when she
asked to be put in the hospital. Did
you catch that?
With my mom’s last episode, yes the
big one. My mom actually asked to
be put in the hospital BEFORE it happened.
Can you believe that?
The guy never called her back however.
Imagine that. Just like my friend. I guess
he was too busy, too lazy or too forgetful.
Then I saw this post on my blog
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/?p=37#comment-421
Janet, wrote:
“I feel the most important aspect in dealing
with bipolar disorder is a good doctor. When I was
diagnosed over 25 years ago, I felt like a guinea pig
with being on one medication after another and I
told my doctor that. I finally found a doctor who would
listen to me and was willing to work with me to find
medication that was best suited to me. It has been a long
and hard process but the end result is well worth it.”
What happen with my partner reminded me about a number
of important things with bipolar disorder.
You have to find a good, caring, responsible,
on top of things, doctor.
My partner is forgetful, doesn’t think important
things are important, hard to follow (he goes
from point a to point z to point b, etc),
doesn’t call back, etc. This makes doing
business with him VERY difficult.
Now when you think of a bad doctor
here are some signs. It’s the same signs
with my partner:
-doesn’t listen
-not around
-not keeping up on advances with bipolar and
other disorders
-doesn’t return phone calls
-doesn’t help a patient reach his/her goals
It’s VERY important that when you see
these bad signs, you start to look for
someone who is going to help either you
or your loved one. Now I realize if you
are a bipolar supporter and you see the
bad signs, your loved one has to agree to
start looking as well.
In my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
I talk at length about how finding a good
doctor is very important. How to find one,
how to shop for them, how to afford them,
how to make “okay doctors” great, and
many other critical things.
Remember the doctor is the key, like the
post above suggested I firmly believe this.
I realize on my list, there are unfortunately
tens of thousands of people who probably have
bad doctors. It’s said but true. But, of the
ones that are bad, some can be reformed using
various techniques that I teach in my materials.
But there are some there is no hope for. Like
my mom’s last doctor. He was terrible.
Why did I bring this up with my situation
with my business partner/friend? Well, it’s
because I have no way of changing him, he
has been like this for years. I have concluded
that I have to move on, just like my mom had
to move on to another doctor that could get
the results she was looking for.
I have talked to so many people that
accept a bad doctor, one that doesn’t
even return calls, listen, etc. You should
not accept this.
Can anyone comment on their experience with
a bad doctor and then moving over to a good
doctor?
Hey, I have to run. Catch you tomorrow.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Your Friend,
Dave
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Tests
Just want to thank you so much for all the information I am
receiving from you, hopefully I will be able to be more
helpful for our grandson,
God Bless you Sincerely, Darlene
Hello All,
My doctor has vanished without a trace. I have no idea where he has gone or even if he is still alive!
I have called my insurance company and they have made it priority one to find him. They will arrange for me to see someone else in their network and make sure I don’t run out of medicine. In this particular instance the insurance is a vital source of knowledge and is taking the stress and wringing of hands away from me. They have refered the case to thier department that handles complaints and other matters associated with thier providers.
I am told I have “severe Bi-Polar II disorder” and other “Affective Disorders?” but I am Blessed that I require nothing more but my medicine – on time – to be “stable!” I am hurting right now for all those patients who are not as Blessed as I and I am praying that they find this doctor so he can get his due and they can at least get thier medical records. Imagine leaving your practice and providing nothing but a bunch of bogus phone numbers that don’t work and telling your patients nothing. This doctor should be brought up on charges – especially if one of his patients hurts his or her self or someone else! I feel this way becasue there is not even an on-call number to find this “doctor!” He is treating mental illness not people with bad feet!
I agree with what your mom said about how she feels …like a guinea pig….half these doctors if not all truely do not care and jsut give you meds that half the time are not the right combination……that is why most people with bi-polar disorder just do not bother with drs as it is not worth it.
Dave
On my daughter’s insurance there are only a few options and since I cannot afford your lessons and I’m not saying you can’t help me, but the insurance is the main issue and on Medicaid you get only a few and they aren’t the best!
My son was seeing one doctor who didn’t give him the time of day. Spent maybe two literal minutes with him before whipping out the script pad. I changed his doctor after the second visit. Much better response with this new one!
Dear David,
I have lived with mental illness since I was and adolescent, I’m now in my forties and don’t till this day have a good Doctor or any support. My life right now is a living nightmare for me because I don’t have medical insurance; I can’t go to the doctor. I have gone to some of the free programs and filled out the necessary paper work, told them my story and in return got no reply. This has happen on several different occasions, at different locations.
My problem is that I was on ssdi when I was younger; I decided to go back to work when I had my child, so they took me off ssdi. I worked for close to 10 years and then I was hurt on the job. I had to take a series of pain medication just to be able to function which lead to an episode of manic depression. I was taking anti-depressants, pain medication, muscle relaxers you name it. David, none of the doctors I saw, showed much concern; they just prescribed medication at every visit. I literally have so many different kind of prescribed medication I could start my own pharmacy.
I am so depressed right now, I haven’t worked in four years because of the injury I sustained, I was forced to move in with relatives, my mother passed away last year in my arms, now I’m living on my own and I still don’t have a job. I don’t know how I’m going to make it. I’m so depressed that when I have gone to interviews for a job I break down and cry right there at the interview. I have made some really bad decisions, signed up for things on the internet I don’t remember nor understand, loaned out money to people, I have got myself in a mess. I am selfless, I am afraid that I will be homeless soon. I have re-applied for ssdi benefits and have been turned down twice. I have sought out legal help to no avail. No one wants to help me. I have filled out the forms on the sites for legal representation and no one ever respond. So In response to the phone that never came, No one has showed up for me. Yes, I am invisible, to family, doctors, friends, the work force, everything. But I haven’t given up. I can’t who will take care of my child? Besides I am a child of God and I know that he will continue to guide me in the right direction to the help I need.
Thank you, for your insight on so many different situation concerning bi-polar that are so often over looked, misunderstood and taken for granted.
Sincerely,
Mandy
I know what you are talking about I have been to a few doctors in the past. I fee that they are legal drug pushers, it is hard for me to go from one medicine to another my body sometimes cant take it and I lose control of my ablity to cope with everyday life. My job suffers and my family suffers but I still keep going and going, I do get better but it is hard. I don’t know about anyone else but for me it is hard to get out of bed in the mornings cause I feel what is the use I will just feel the same way. But I try. I have a wonderful doctor now he listen and helps me decidced to what to do. Also, I lost my part time job and he is giving my samples cause my insurance stinks. So I am glad about that not many would do that. Well just wanted to share with all of people who visit this web site it has hepled me alot.
Its hard to imagine the cause of the flawed judgement which
causes you to tolerate the behavior you describe in a business
partner. in your shoes I’d drop him like a hot rivet..
with no notification.. or if you absolutely have to be generous
in spirit.. send him an email telling him that you find his
total lack of any social and communications skills and personal
consideration abjectly intolerable. and that its your intention
to drop him like a hot rivet. and that you never ever ever
want to hear from again except thru an attorney. further,
if he insists, you wil bring restraining orders against him..
and that if he has any questions relative to your mutual business
that your fees for compliance are $100 per hour paid in advance
for a minimum of 3 hours and that for any balance of less than
$100 prepaid.. you will not respond in any way whatever.
that might get his attention.. regards. best wishes
Governor Sonny Perdue,
you may have seen the text below previously.. but I just wanted to bring you up to date on my experience over the last 3 weeks
————-
She’s (my wife) has become an incorrigible raging lunatic. I am calling the governors office this morning to see what remedies are available
to warehouse persons with her condition.. but have little hope of any proactive response on the part of the state.. They have a social
service agency called Georgia Mountain Services, staffed by a well meaning but abjectly clueless bunch of neophytes who have almost
zero life experience, and whom are simply cutting their teeth on the misery of others, and whom are absolutely and patently unable to reach
someone in her condition by any visible means, and absolutely powerless to prescribe so much as an aspirin, further hampered by
egregiously flawed state policies which preclude them taking any information from anyone other than the subject..
and for whom by any prudent characterization by any mature person will reveal that she’s a hostile raging lunatic and 96% dysfunctional.
They absolutely refuse to allow me any input on her condition, her behavior, her incorrigibility, her 30 second memory, and her hostility
with anyone whom she is unable to manipulate sufficiently to give her any sense of satisfaction.. Her condition might be verified by Dr.
Krishna of Cumming Family Medical, who has seen and treated her monthly for the last 5 years or more until she became absolutely
adamant about not taking her medications.. Xyprexia, Ativan (lorazepam), and formerly Paxil, Zoloft, Buspar, Remurol, Depakote,
and other anti-psychotic and anti-psychotropic drugs.
She has been off her medications completely since about the first week in May 2008 and has steadily gone downhill since becoming
more hostile, more difficult to manage, more demanding of personal attention, more adamant about doing nothing I ask her to do,
no matter how simple the request….
My efforts to administer her pills in the morning were met with hostility, arrogance, bitterness, duplicity, and she on numerous occasions
put the pills between her cheek and gum, and the instant I turned my head, she’d put her hand to her mouth, remove the pills, drop
them on the floor, hide them under the pillow etc.. all the while screaming at me ‘The pills do nothing! ‘
Her compulsion with meaningless trivia, and other flawed priorities, plus the fact that I cannot trust her out of my sight, make life a
complete hell for me, after 7 years of 24×7 care from me as her sole care giver…
I am near the end of my rope with no visible hope in sight. but will see what other options the state may have for persons in
her condition… but thanks for asking. .Bill
————
new message 16 June 2008
I used to live in Costa Rica.. a small country in central America about the size of West Virginia.. There were sanatoriums there for
people with my wifes condition and who posed no threat to themselves or to anyone else.. ie who were not criminally insane. .. as my wife
is NOT.
I erroneously assumed that the USA might have infrastructure comparable with Costa Rica in that respect, and in my ignorance had
presumed that GA regionals were that comparison.. In my efforts to determine whether or not my wife qualified for mandate to
Rome for example, I became aware of the necessity and protocol for first taking her to the nearest ER.. where she would be evaluated.
I had deep experience with her in this type of situation because about 4 years ago several neighbors had invited my wife ‘out to lunch’ and for
which I thought was a great idea and was grateful… unbeknownst to me .. in their abject cluelessness about mental illness and how to treat
it, and in spite of the fact that at that time I”d been married to her for 38 years and had been caring for her all that time.. they didnt have
enough respect for me, nor brainpower, nor class, nor common sense to be honest with me, and tell me their intentions.
. and took her to the ER at what was then GA Baptist.. in an hour the Hospital ran up over $3000.00 in expenses and I got stuck
with the bill. which took me over 4 years to pay off.
a particularly egregious practice then and still as of today.. is that in spite of the fact that she was and is clearly a victim of clinical depression
their staff recently as at that time.. forced her to sign a contract in the belief that a contract signed by a lunatic is somehow legally binding.
further, an particularly egregious and reprehensible practice was that the same facility did it again without making the slightest effort
to communicate with me to determine my wishes, and get my input. 3 weeks ago this hospital did the same thing again and ran up
over $12,000 in bills for a 3 day stay..
Not once did anyone on their staff return any of 6 or 8 phone calls per day nor any of 4 or 5 emails per day to patient staffing.
Further Ga Crisis center, when I spoke with them at length before I took her to the ER .. NEVER ONCE MENTIONED that any
stay at GA Regional would be at best a 2 or 3 day stay.. and that then she would be returned to me in whatever condition she was in.
Had I known that I would have never taken her to the ER under any circumstances..
While there they did complete blood work, a cat scan, an MRI, and anything you can imagine which was expensive, and notwithstanding
my awareness of the state of the applied healthcare industry and numerous lawsuits which demand the ability to protect the organization
against inappropriate lawsuits,, this experience was not only expensive but demoralizing and depressing in and of itself. Only once
during the entire stay did they give her a drug called Geodon which i think is a psychotropic / anti psychotic.. and which relaxed
her and put her to sleep..
It is my opinion that no sane person should have to endure what I have endured with her 24×7 for the last 7 years.. and that there are
no facilities to warehouse people in her condition, absolutely deplorable, inexcusable, indefensible, and egregiously wrong to subject
any other citizen to under any circumstances… She is now about 99% dysfunctional, and her recent behavior and perceptions are totally
flawed. She spends most of her day in the bedroom, in various states of undress. talking to herself. sometimes at the top of her lungs,
until 11 pm. shouting that ” I can’t get into bed” “Fix the Bed” “The bed is sopping wet.. ” ” All my clothes are sopping wet”
“The (kingsize) bed is not big enough for me” (the same one we’ve had over 30 years.. she’s 5 ft tall and 110 lbs)
She has a continuous rant of absolute meaningless inanities, and if spoken to has an immediate response.. ” Thats not TRUE!”
after watching (with me ) the news about the death of Tim Russert.. on ABC.. she loudly proclaimed” How much are they paying these
people to spout these lies ????” HE’S NOT DEAD! HE’S FINE ! for over half an hour at the top of her lungs. I have to endure
such scenes every day in addition to doing everything she ever did.. purchasing all groceries, putting them away. cooking all food,
plating the food.. taking it to her.. feeding her. while she might be on some lunatic rant..
A few days ago I had given her a bath and washed her hair.. and left her with the hair dryer for what I presumed might be a
few more minutes before she was satisfied that her hair was dry.. while I went out with my brother Brian, who wanted to go
to Ingles to get some food.. When we returned. I went to check on her and found her in the bathroom still drying her hair over
45 minutes later.. and instantly took the dryer from her and hid it. I was surprised that it didnt burn her hand it was so hot..
I could go on and on with the extraordinary demand on me and the stress that it creates every day.. and my opinion that no
one ever should have to endure this… not only has her condition destroyed her life, its destroying mine. with no end in sight.
Doctor Amit Dua of Cumming Family medical center who saw her. and who prescribed some medications for her is a professional,
and genuinely caring, but her medications are not visibly doing what her Xyprexia nor Ativan did for her before she went to the ER..
I have been told that there are NO state facilities anywhere IN GA or in any other state for warehousing of people with her condition.
But its my opinion that in this regard, if The US cannot even compare with Costa Rica in treatment of the mentally ill and egregiously
dysfunctional. then the rest of society will suffer and the consequences of what must be tens of thousands like her in this state alone
shows a total misunderstanding of the problem and its solutions, or at the very least some Federal help in funding and construction
of such facilities, until the medical community can get a handle on the massive problem of clinical depression.
Thank you for your response and for getting creative with proactive State funded solutions of the thousands of others like
her who are destroying the lives and psyches of thousands of spouses and care givers like myself..
I only wish that some legislator had bothered to consider why this country can justify spending over $3.5 Billion in support
of Illegal aliens and have not ever considered the need for facilities to house those who are 99% dysfunctional..
I cannot begin to characterize the magnitude of the unending hell and stress I endure every day in dealing with a woman
who has no value system, relates to nothing, cannot hear, will not listen, cannot comprehend, nor follow the simplest instructions
in plain English, and who spends 90% of her waking hours in an incessant and unending rant and obvious and in very high anxiety,
which I am forced to watch, being unable to do anything for her whatsoever.. for whom no action is enough, and for whom
nothing is remotely understood or appreciated. God help anyone who should have to endure this…
William W. Griffin
twice I had problems. first my individual therapist decided against my wishes she would also take on the role of couples therapist. that is conflict of interest. that turned into my then husband going over our credit card bills which were completely insignificant, a few thousand dollars a month for 4 kids when we lived in a very affluent community and he made millions every year and we were on vacation 5 months of the year and were building a 23,000sq. foot home in asia where he wanted to live. His goal was to show i was extravagent because i was bipolar. simply not the case. he was cheap.(and I ran everything.)
with that i even manage to decorate their new rooms! what we spent in travel for one ticket far exceeded that! When i had my first episode after staying up for meetings to plan this home from midnight til 3-4am several nights a week (he scheduled that) and then get up at 7 to take the kids to school, and make 3 trips to europe in 3 months and countless trips to asia in that time period, and did i mention i was remodelling my home in the usa simultaneously, and travelling a lot then also? I was exhausted. And, he was around at most 3 days a month. So, when i was in the hospital she wrote he was a loving and supportive husband who came as soon as he could. could not be further from the truth.Abusive, manipulative.Selfish. He stayed in asia for social events and for a golf tournament and missed hospital check out time. I found a receipt for baseball tix in his desk drawer to the therapist. I was sold out for baseball tickets! we are part owners of a baseball team (of course he puts everything in his name and only once in a while acknowledges that and others are mine too).
So, in custody eval. this therapist’s words may or may not be valued. It is critical for doctors to be honest. It could ruin kids lives. I raised the kids. he was rarely around. they literally run away from him and to me and fight off the police on his custody period and he want s to say i am a criminal and i am a crazy bipolar person who lies. bipolar people do not necessarily lie and obviously the kids are comfortable with me. it is really sad if people are not more well educated. The word must get out.
second therapist who followed didn’t know how to mix drugs and instead of admitting it begged i stay longed. I should have left immediately. While i was under the influence of bad drug mix she tried to get me to pay more for her service, increasing the amount increment by increment. I had enough wherewithall to say to her, are you threatening me? you know what the contracted amount is. that is what i am obligated to pay. she later wrote that i was verbally aggressive with her to cover her butt when i had switched to Stanford where i am very happy and she could not get me to come back. I am
currently involved in a very lengthy and messy lawsuit to wrap up this divorce so i do not need any more lawsuits with these doctors, yet it makes me very sad that anyone would abuse the system. Patients need help, not to be taken advantage of. I think the thing I would say is go with your intuition. In both cases I knew something wasn’t right. I don’t want to be talked into anything. bipolar or not. intuition is intuition. good people are good people.
To WILLIAM GRIFFIN: There used to be a time (not so long ago), when those with SERIOUS mental illness were warehoused in state mental institutions. These were the ones, like your wife, who is 99% dysfunctional. Since they were “so far gone,” and didn’t know the difference, these hospitals could “get away with murder” and treat the “inmates” in any manner they saw fit.
By the l980s, it became a government issue – release the patients to community mental health clinics, and treat them as outpatients. This created a subculture of homeless and very “crazy” people walking the streets.
Personally, I think, out of “political correctness,” that ONLY the very worst off should be in an institution. Someone has “dropped the ball” with your wife, causing you undue emotional and spiritual hardship. As the mental health professionals say – “If they’re not a danger to themselves or others, we can’t hospitalize them.”
I was in a State Mental Hospital in the early 1970s, and there were a TON of “99% dysfunctional” people. What the state did with them after the edict to empty the hospital, I don’t know. But they weren’t “healthy,” and they couldn’t “cope” in the outside world. This sounds like your wife.
I wish I had some advice to give you; you are caught between a rock and a hard place…whether to have your wife committed, or keep her at home, under virtual “house arrest” for her own good.
I dated a paranoid schizophrenic (one of my “soul mates”) in the early 1980s. He talked to imaginary people; was paranoid about “prowlers” around our house; believed our neighbors had guns and were after us. He was put in the State Mental Hospital for about 3 months – but they released him to my custody. The only reason I left him was to marry my first husband. Unfortunately, 5 years later, he was overcome by carbon monoxide fumes in his apartment, and died. I lost my husband that same year.
I wish you much good luck. May God bless you real good. You are in my prayers.
Hi there,
I dont suffer with Bipolar, but my partner does. I also fear that he is going into another episode. Unfortunately he was only diagonosed with Bipolar early this year, and that was with much pushing from me. He has been through job after job and moved house more times than i care to remember. We are living together now, which is one of the reasons im so worried about the next episode.
The first doctor and only doctor we have seen, was good, she referred us to the mental health unit at the hospital. This guy however was horrendous. He seemed to not really want to know the history of Simon’s previous episodes, just to put him on Lithium. My partner is 26 and is a chef. For a few reasons doesnt want to go on medication. 1 reason is beacuse this doctor only seemed interested in perscribing drugs and getting us out. Another reason was the was he sold the drugs to Simon, he made it sound awful, the metalic taste in your mouth, the blood tests every two weeks, not drinking (this particularly upset my partner as he said he could picture getting married and not being able to have a glass of champagne to celebrate.) The major reason that he doesnt want to go on medication for the rest of his life, was because he says that all he wants is to be able to talk to someone, someone impartial, someone that wont judge him. He doesnt believe he needs them.
Thanks to that doctor only offering drugs for the rest of his life, im now facing the onslaught of another episode, coping with it alone. He wont discuss his Bipolar with me at all now. He was meant to go back and try the Lithium, but he didnt go, and has now been taken off the mental health register. So now all the signs are coming back and im terrified to be honest, but there is no way i can get him back to a doctor now.
So what do i do. If he packs his job in, i cant afford to pay the rent alone, we’l be homeless. More than anything, im not sure i have the strength to cope again.
I am a bipolar supporter so my experience is not with a doctor who deals with that but I did experience ulcerative colitis for 32 years and dealt with many doctors who were good, bad or indifferent. The worst one I ever went to was a doc who prescribed a medication for me and when I told him that I had had a bad reaction to it at one time he insisted that I wouldn’t have a problem now. Well, I went ahead and took the meds and came down with a kidney infection that was unbelievably painful. I went back to him and told him that I thought I had an infection and he didn’t even check my urine – he just blew it off. I got worse and worse and went back again. He finally checked my urine and said that I did have an infection! Then he checked my blood pressure while I was trying to tell him how I felt not listened to. Of course, it was sky -high because he still wasn’t listening. I told him that that was it for me – I was done with him – (do you think I should have done that much earlier? Duh!!) Then I found a doctor and I requested an interview with him before we started a medical relationship. He not only gave me the interview, he didn’t charge me! He was the best Western medical doctor I ever went to – he was funny, knew his stuff and was free to admit when he hadn’t had experience with something I asked him about. So the bottom line is, as Dave has said, does the doc listen to you? Does he hear what you say and respond truthfully? I certainly learned my lesson!