Bipolar Lesson From the Girl Who Jumped to Her Death

Hi,

I hope your day is going well.

Today is a BIG day for me. I have several new people starting in a major part of my company that has gotten out of control. It has to do with the finding of newsletter subscribers.

Anyway, I have 4 people working on the problem today. One with bipolar disorder and three who do not. People ask me all the time why I bring in someone with bipolar disorder when their are tough problems? The answer is, I have found that a person with bipolar disorder who is stable is generally more creative more intelligent and can solve problems faster.

Some people get mad when I say this kind of thing. I don’t know why. They insist that this is not always true. For me it’s true. That’s the deal.

Anyway I am also testing a new system of sending my daily emails. If you get this message and it looks right
around the same time you normally do then the system worked great. I hopeit does : )

Okay, let’s move on..

I forgot to tell you this. The other week, I was hiking at the Jenny Jump Park.

Why is it called Jenny Jump?

Well here’s what happened.

There was a girl named Jenny a long time ago who thought Indians were chasing her to kill her, so she ran far and fast to a cliff.

The she couldn’t figure out how to get down from the cliff.

So she jumped to her death.

Eventually the area was called Jenny Jump and eventually became a park.

I was thinking about Jenny and her jump and how the story went that she killed herself out of believing there was no hope.

Jenny, like many people who have bipolar disorder, or even supporters of loved ones who have it, believe it can never get better.

It sure can, though.

My mom’s situation was terrible.

My brother said there was no hope and not to waste my time.

I didn’t think so. I thought there was hope.

And now my mom is better. She still has bipolar disorder, but she’s better than she was. I think my not giving up hope had something to do with that.

I have several people who work for me that have attempted suicide in the past.

They report to me that at the time they were suicidal, they thought there was no hope.

They said the amazing thing is, with time, things get better with bipolar disorder.

ALL of them are glad that they didn’t succeed!

NOTE: If you or your loved one are feeling suicidal, call 1-800-SUICIDE and remember, there’s hope.

There’s no hope if you are dead.

If you are a supporter, help your loved one get information like what I have in my courses/systems.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I mean, I do have sections on what to do if you’re feeling suicidal, but I have even more about learning how to deal with your disorder so that you don’t get to that point.

No, there still isn’t a cure for bipolar disorder.
But there is hope.

Someone told me once that “suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem.”

Learning how to manage bipolar disorder, or how to be a good supporter and help your loved one manage their bipolar disorder, is a permanent solution, not a temporary one.

Ok, so there’s no cure. But with your hope, you can look for solutions that work for you and your loved one.

And don’t worry about what other people say.

At some of the support groups I go to, this person might say that you should do this, or you should do that, otherwise you’re not being a good supporter.

Don’t worry about what they say. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not being a good supporter.

You just do what works for you and your loved one, and you ARE being a good supporter!

Remember there is hope. It’s kind of strange but I remember when virtually everyone was betting against my mom. There was never any doubt in my mind that my mom would get better. I knew 100%, that she could become better (that’s what I called it at the time).

My brother wanted to put her away in a hospital forever (which you can do anyway). My dad was just in a state of limbo basically asking me to accept the way she was and that she would never be better and we would just have to deal with her.

It’s sad but on the one hand, so many people are so quick to give up with bipolar disorder. But on the other hand so many people never give up but keep doing the same stuff over and over hoping for a different result.
It’s really strange.

I am not pushing my courses but I can honestly say the answers are there. People are surprised when they talk to myself or someone who works with me with bipolar disorder about a problem they have. We immediately have an answer. Why? Well because we have pretty much faced it all and have systems for everything.

Anyway, the point of this was to rely to you about Jenny and how she gave up. Don’t be like Jenny.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

  1. I think you meant to say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and not vice versa.

  2. Hello David,

    for the past month I have been receiving your emails on a daily basis, I’ved been diagnose with bipolar since 1996.

    the emailsa are intrested and ai Agree with most of your emails. I myself have delt with bipolar for a long period of time and encounter all types of troubles. I recently have enrolled in school I am woeking in a AA in business administration. there is hope, it takes alot effort of that person.

    coping and uinderstanding has not been easy for. I am a thirty six year old mother and wife.

    I understand that out there isn’t much help for us, i had denied medication since my doctor and I have not been able to find the righ meds for me..
    I am thankful to God that you decided to inform people about bipolar and most of all you are not the one diagnose with it.

    if I can be any help in any way please feel free to email me….

    Rosalina Michel
    Juan 3:16

  3. Thank you for the email. I dont remember why I got it, or were it came from. But I thank you. The email came at a lonely place in my life. And now I am curious. there looks like there are many recources and the email was very well put together and I actually read it twice for many reasons. It is hard to live with BiPolar and I have felt so alone and so not helpable at times. Thank you. This email came at a perfect time, I hope they keep coming.

  4. I’ve been following your emails for a year or so now, and they’re great. I’m a supporter. I just wanted to mention something of interest today. Did you see last week’s episode of House? the one in which Wilson, at thend of the episode, walks away from House, explaining that he refuses to be his “enabler” anymore, and spewed off all the games hat House plays in all his relationships?
    Hey, House has a personality disorder, and he’s idolized by fans! Imagine. Someone with a mental disorder is sought after!…..So your claim of bipolars being abundantly creative and problem solvers fits now, doesn’t it.
    Maybe things will slowly turn for the sufferers and supporters of mental disorders, and society will finally recognize that great things can come from people who live outside the box.

  5. I have recently split from a 24 year marriage with a bi-polar. I can tell you that if the patient doesn’t want to change ,they won’t. I, myself and my daughter have been going to therapy to deal with the things he does to our heads. We learned we can change ourselves and then it will hopefully open the eyes of my husband. It didn’t work , he flipped out and left. I had no choice but to file for divorce. My physical health as well as mine and my daughters mental health was suffering. Sometimes the only way to deal with someone with this disorder is to leave them to their own. The feel invincible and that everyone else has the problems but them. Then if you do get them on med.’s they stop “cause they feel better and don’t need it” .I have given everything I have and then some , but living with a bi-polar that is in denial is only going to kill the spirit of the people that the leave behind

  6. There is hope to all those out there who feel there isn”t.I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2003, but was in denial for a year or two .After truly comparing my symptoms with the diagnosis I began to accept that I had bipolar.It took a few years, and many different prescriptions to get the right cocktail of meds that worked. Now I am the best I ever been.At times it felt so hopeless, I thought I would never get out ofthe pit.I pray all of you out there not to give up , hope is right around the corner. If I can get out of the pit you eventually you will too.Hang in there! Beverly Hutchinson

  7. I liked your story. I have not looked at your ebooks yet. I have unipolar depression amongst some other things. I thought of suicide in the past but I could not do that to my parents. As rotten as I felt or bad as things got there is “always hope”.

    Thanks

  8. After reading your latest entry; I realize the importance of sometimes responding to another’s situation. I too found myself in ‘suicidal ideation’ during a rather cruel time span of manic depression. At no time is suicide a temporary or permanent solution to any issue or problem. Please reinforce that thought with all those suffering from BiPolar disorder.
    Continue to reinforce the fact that if it seems impossible; the posibility of ‘it’ changing is more probable. God did not intend for us to give in or give up! Fight for your health…whether it be physically or mentally challenging. It is worth it!!! I began treatment in 1983(1978 on to 1983 was spent with inept counselors/doctors)with a counselor and psychiatrist and deal or attemp to deal with my emotional rollercoaster rides; at times moving forward, sometimes retreating, but always trying! Don’t ever totally give up! I will be 51 this year and am looking forward to the better times ahead.

  9. I want to thank you for sending me this email! I have a close friend who was just diagnosed with bipoar and is really, REALLY down!! I have forwarded this email to him and his wife in hopes that this would help them, as they are having a tough time!!

    Thanks again!!

  10. Dear David,
    I am a former reader cira 04, and I wanted to write you and tell you, that I consider some of your stuff right on, but please allow me to expound on my story.
    An addiction to Zanex, “flipped” me out and 17 days were required to bring me down. 4 years later, after researching I thought bipolar described my feelings and thus began my nightmare, living death. A mania in 04, staying hypo manic for almost 2 years, after much loss, [I will not expound here] I knew at my age I could not go through this again. I found an Indian doctor, who encouraged my research, even telling me I should become a doctor!, and slowly, peeling away the layers, and seeing a former shrink, now a dr of natural medicine who told me I was not bipolar,I am now totaly completly healed!
    What my “bipolar” was was childhood infections, poor diet, childhood vaccines, early childhood molestion, no spiritual foundation,, a shift in hormones, [pre menopausal], a horrible marriage, and extreame sensitivity.
    I take no prescriptive medicines, which can make you sucidal[I was there 2 times on high doses of neurition] and please know this takes time, but if one is willing to dig deep, it can be done.
    I do not think bipolar is one thing, it is a group of aliments, and must be looked at closely and elimated.
    My 2 MRIs stated I was/am superhypersensitive, and I now know that means I am an Emapth.
    I would have never considered that I was not bipolar 4 years ago, but here I am today at 56, happily different, unique, and “normal”

    Glad you’re still helping Mom, I did all this alone, quite alone,
    and my shrink, after I suggested she might have another career to fall back on, took a leave of 1 year… unheard of!

    Peace-Love-Oneness,
    Dona

  11. First of all, where did you purchase my email address? Take me off your list and inform whomever you purchased my email address from to remove me permanently from ALL their lists. You are spamming, and your email is not only unwanted, it is dangerously misinformed.
    I have friends who are diagnosed with bipolar disorder, who battle with it day after day. It’s not a matter of “getting better,” it’s a matter between doctor and patient, a combination of finding the right medication, the right dose, and having the patient STAY ON THEIR MEDS. Until there is a cure, that’s the only recommended course of action. Anything to the contrary is dangerous to the patient, and possibly life-threatening. Unless you are a doctor — and since you didn’t identify yourself as such, I will assume you are not — you have no business ADVERTISING A CURE THAT IT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO HAVE SINCE ONE DOES NOT EXIST.

    STOP SPAMMING

  12. Susie Lambert was right: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When someone commits suicide – that is permanent. They are dead and there is definitely no more hope. Whatever problems and feelings that drove them to commit suicide, on the other hand, were temporary. Eventually (even if it’s a long time), things will always get better. That’s why suicide is such a terrible tragedy.

    The Bipolar I sufferers have more trouble with manic or hypomanic episodes. The Bipolar II sufferers’ main problem is with depression. I’ve been there many times, and I also have excruciating migraines often, and I can tell you for sure that I’ll take the migraines any day. Depression is so painful, so debilitating that, unfortunately, quite a few
    people are driven to suicide. They see no chance that their situation will change, they see no hope, they are in so much pain that they just can’t
    take it anymore. I know exactly how that feels.

    There are many things that someone who is suicidal can do, and they must do something. One is to call the phone number you mentioned, Dave. Another is to call 911 and tell them they are seriously thinking of killing themselves, and those people will know what to do. They can also go to any hospital’s ER and tell the triage nurse that they’re feeling suicidal.
    If anyone is so lucky, they can have someone (friend, lover or family) stay with them full-time when they’re not feeling safe. They should definitely avoid drinking, as alcohol is a depressant and decreases impulse control and is involved in a very high percentage of suicides (and homocides as well). If the person has a therapist or psychiatrist who they have a good relationship with, they should definitely call them (24/7). In many cases it’s a good idea for a person who is highly suicidal to be hospitalized. Unpleasant as that can be, at least it will keep them alive until their thinking straightens out. A very suicidal person does not think straight. For example, when I’m feeling that depressed, I’m convinced that there’s no hope for me to ever feel better, no way for my problems to be solved ever, and I even convince myself that those who love me would be better off without me. This is very sick thinking, and brain chemistry is involved, and it isn’t likely to resolve itself without intervention and without making sure that the person is kept safe.

    When I come out of a depression, I look back on how I was thinking when I was so suicidal and think, “what the heck was that all about?”

    Suicide is so sad because it doesn’t have to happen. These days, there are many ways to reach out so that someone who is depressed can stay safe. Unfortunately, the system is not faultless, and there still isn’t enough money for mental health. We should all be working to change that.

    If anyone out there is feeling despondent and thinking of ending their lives,
    DON’T!! Reach out to one of the many people or agencies and get help; just buy time because things WILL change. Suicide is a tragedy because it is just so unnecessary (though I KNOW it doesn’t feel that way).

  13. Sorry – just wanted to add that another thing that a suicidal person may be
    feeling is alone. NO ONE ever has to be alone. Someone who cares is as close as a phone call or a trip to the hospital away.

  14. Hi David,
    I believe sometimes you do have a give up….. when the situation becomes abusive to your kids and yourself it is time to give up. Thank you for all that you do.

  15. Dear David,

    I believe you forgot to include your link for comments to your blog in your most recent newsletter.

    You also said that someone told you once that “suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem.”

    I believe you meant that “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

    You also said that Learning how to manage bipolar disorder, or how to be a good supporter and help your loved one manage their bipolar disorder, is a permanent solution, not a temporary one.

    I beleive you meant a temporary solution and not a permanent one, because BPD is not really curable at this stage. We all make mistakes.

    Also, could you please tell us if there really is a Jennifer Jump Park, or if you have just constructed this as a tool to demonstrate your point.

    BTW, I heard a sound bite you made, an interesting recording. When you speak you sound sincere, genuine and sympathetic, like when you write.

    You do good work. Please keep it up.

    All the best,

    Randall Bowie

    Brussels, Belgium

  16. I have only been in one clinical depression (one too many!), where the doctor I talked to asked if I “thought” of suicide. I have NEVER actively attempted or gone to anyone about the suicide ideation, but I answered him that, “Yes, I’ve thought about it.” I was soooo down, there was no place else by “up.” I had “bottomed out,” and was actively seeking help. This psychiatrist ordered Desipramine, and within 3 weeks, I was feeling a LOT better, and the suicidal thoughts never came back.

    Sue from OH really DOES know of what she speaks. She has really been “through the mill” with her depressions, and come out the other side – I’m sooo proud of her!! If you haven’t read her blog yet, go back up and get all the information you need.

    ANY “suicidal ideation” is REAL, and needs professional help. If you are feeling this way, PLEASE seek help in any way you can, because, and it’s been said before, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

    One of my shrinks once said, “God does not want man to do anything that harms man.” I believe her. There is ALWAYS hope. God has a reason for you to be alive, and though you may not see it now, if you open your ears to his “still, small voice,” you will ultimately find it.

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.

  17. Dave:
    Interesting that I was not sent an email today and had to find this blog via a previous day email. Maybe I got off the list somehow. Maybe a computer error of some kind. I found this subject matter to be the most pertinent and helpful to me because I have been experiencing it first hand as a bipolar II survivor and a survivor of a recent ‘suicide attempt.’

    I think suicide is viewed as a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You may have it reversed. Do you? Suicide is Permanent, am I correct?

    Also, you mentioned your brother wanted to hospitalize your mom forever rather than help her. I have the exact problem with my family. They think I “need to be committed for a very, very long time.” You mentioned that “you can do that anyway.” I think the opposite is true. A person can only be hospitalized if he/she presents a danger to themself or others. Did you mean to say, “you CAN’T do that anyway?” Really, no one can be committed to a hospital on the say of a family member, without a person being a danger to him/herself or to someone else. Am I correct or not?

    I still have a lot of up and down days. I am trying to find other methods than taking my life as a ‘permanent solution,’ I am taking more medications, now have a good therapist, am a member of a DBT group, and will have a better psychiatrist. Previously, I had a really horrible psychiatrist, I was not taking an antidepressant, a very low dose of a mood stabilizer and a lot of benzodiazapines, as well as opiates for pain. I was depressed and taking medication that were depressants.

    Some things are now clear as to why I have been feeling so badly and hopeless. In addition, I don’t have a good family support system, only a few friends who I know I can confide in and many situational problems not related to my disorder.

    I want to thank you, Dave, for the valuable information you provide to us. In addition, there have been several people who have been extremely helpful and caring. You are doing a great job! Thanks again.

  18. Puedo leer en inglés, pero me es muy difícil escribir en ese idioma. De modo que seguiré en español. Hace mucho que no recibía emails de Dave, me alegra que haya retomado el contacto. Mi hijo fue diagnosticado como Bipolar; tuvo seis episodios, y ahora, gracias a Dios, a él mismo, a su psiquiatra, y a nosotros, su familia que lo adora, está estable. No sé cómo agredecer. Dave me ha ayudado también para mantener intacta la fe.
    Besos y hasta pronto, Cristina.

  19. What you said about Jenny running from indians reminds me of my last and first major episode. I had quit taking my meds and never really knew what people meant by “episode” only that I never had one. My meds made me fat and I was questioning whether the doctors diagnosed me correctly since I never had an “episode”. Well now I know I am bipolar and I will absolutely no question about it continue taking my meds. I thought people we chasing me I could see them, hear them, and thought I was tape recording them so people wouldn’t think I was crazy. Anyway, I drove myself to the front door of the police station (literally the front door)(not through it, just to it). Thank God when I told them what was going on they called my husband and he informed them I was off my meds and they let him come get me. I called my mom as I was sitting with the police officer and letting him listen to all of my recordings that were nothing. I let my mom speak to him and when he gave me the phone back my she informed me that no one was in my truck and no one was following me. It felt like the world was crashing in. I couldn’t believe that I was hellucinating and delusional. The next morning I went straight to my psychiatrists office and told him that I am not bipolar; I am schitzophrenic and I need something to fix it. He never told me exactly what an epasode was and that was when he informed me. I had no idea and thatnk God I didn’t drive off a cliff or something. I know I’m rambling on, but I think people need to hear what episodes are because I always thought it was when you are so depressed you can’t get out of bed or that you are mean to everyone. I had no clue. Thank you so much for your emails everyday that are helpful and informative.

  20. That story hit home. I know how it feels to have a loved one commit suicide. My baby sister hung herself in my Mom’s garage. Her 7 year old son found her. Nothing I could do to help her. I had to leave my mom’s household and she was too young to leave. A few years later it happened.
    Tina

  21. I want to thank you for this info. I have a 23 year old daughter whom has been diagnosed with bipoler and it has not been fun. I cant get he to take her meds right to see if thay workfor her. Now she has a son and lives 4 hrs. away, I worry even more now. I have never had much help with her. some times i wonderd how i could keep going? But i did it. but not shure how things well go for her and her son, I think he is autistic but she like myself has no help. She don’t drive so she has to walk.

  22. In just reading some of the replys we understand both sides my sister killed herself after a long time of hurting herseft and of couse all of us who loved her 2 wonderful boys—-I myself suffer from bipoler but also was dia w/. MPD what a mess trying to keep everyone in line an not get us into trouble we have ages from two to 200 we call them the wise ones.need to be able to laugh you mentioned working god we could help an put together what have learned there is a light there is life with alittle help please contact if about working an sharing our story thank you girls8

  23. I find your emails useful and interesting. Especially this one. Three years ago after the birth of my first child I had my first major bipolar episode and was committed to the psych ward. I was suicidal and just wanted everything to end. I felt that I couldn’t do it and that I was a horrible mother. My husband stood by me through everything and we now have another little girl and we are all doing well. Every day is a struggle for me but I am so glad that my husband intervened and got me help before it was too late. I have too much to live for and am grateful everyday that I am alive.

  24. I just wanted everyone to know that bipolar is not and does not have to be a horrible disease…i am bipolar and am married with a beautiful and rotten little boy! i take lexapro and xanex everyday adn function like a normal human being. it is no big deal i’m sad when i’m supposed to be and happy when good thing come along. guys, it’s just like being diabetic…it is a disease but if you take care of yourself then you will be happy and can make others around you happy as well.

    to all of you out there who are bipolar and struggling…keep going! talk to your doctor b/c the medicine you are on might not be perfect for your personal body! stick to it i promise it’s worth it! i had to take 7 different anti depressants til we found the perfect mix for my body. there is a solution out there i promise…keep moving forward! take little steps and you will be surprised how proud of yourself you are for simply making it to the shower today or to the couch instead of in the bed all day! take these small steps and work with your dr and you will have a totally normal and fulfilling life!

    God bless!
    katy horton

  25. I’m going through a tough time and I know it’s going to get worse. I’ve been thinking about suicide. I’m separated from my husband due to his alcoholism and abuse. Now I’m paying the mortgage and a car payment on SSDI. I can’t make ends meet, I’m trying to sell my house and now I can’t afford my medications. I have a hard time just getting out of bed. Everything has me totally overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do.. I can’t aford your book right now and everything seems hopeless.

  26. I received your email,thanks-I have had B.D. for 11 years,wow!!when I first flaired (as I call it) went manic- then fell into depression,I had deal with the stigma of being labeled mentally ill,which further depressed me,(I had moderate to severe depression)ONE belief kept me from even considering hurting myself (or anything/body)was my faith in GOD,and his law,now over the years I have learned to be humble,happy,and some what wise,I take one simple low priced medication,see a regular family doctor,all though it is still possible to get manic,or depressed,I am not nearly as afraid,so to everyone out there who is down,PLEASE tuff it out,don’t EVER QUIT!!!! Life is the ultimate gift,and you are NEVER ALONE!!!we are all here to look out for eachother (even if some of us don’t know it!)

  27. Mental illness exist, it does, But the largly economic reason it exist now, is out of control In far too many cases the sucidal ideology comes from the drugs and the lack of support that can be part and parcle of being labled with a mental dis-ease. I know my statements threaten you, many of you, as when I read such things when I was medicated I was entirely disbeleiving that there was another way, other than the handfuls of precriptive meds I took each day, which NEVER left me feeling close to normal. Am I a mavel, a mirical? In a way, yes, because the deep sleep I took for 13 years which cost me my life as a Mom, a wife and a daughter, an outcast from society has strenghtened in my total recovery to be the light, and I find in the people I councel that many of the same life stressors exist, largley living in a detached, non spiritual world, contributes to our belief that something is flawed within us. The drugs magnify this and when family does get on board we are in a living Hell on earth. So clinging to the drugs, beliveing the shrink has our best at heart is the only option, for he/she speaks our launguage, as it can be like living in forgein land and not speaking the native tounge.
    I for one am glad to be in the wide awake world, and yes it is tough, but with only thyroid replacement pills, my organs comromised by years of toxic man man chemicals I am very grateful. Nothing will give me or my kids those 13 years back.

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