Hi,
How do you feel today?
I hope you’re feeling ok.
I have a friend who was driving a motorcycle (dumb) and he crashed.
Driving a motorcycle in New Jersey is seriously crazy.
People drive crazy in New Jersey LOL.
Anyway, it was really bad.
As a result his arm was paralyzed.
The first doctor said that it would start working again.
Time went by.
It did not.
My friend couldn’t work in his job.
He became depressed. Sad. He lost tons of weight.
I spoke to him and you want to know what I told him?
Guess….
Scroll down for the answer
I told him that it’s going to be okay and it going to take time for his body to heal.
NOTE I am not a doctor, therapist or offering medical advice.
BUT I knew it was way too early. It was like a month and he expected to be perfect.
I asked him if he made ANY progress and he said, “None.”
I said, “None, zero, none at all?”
He said, “Well…a tiny bit.”
I said, “Well, you are going to build on that.”
He was kind of annoyed at me.
Every time I saw him, I told him to have patience.
Guess what happen after 4 months?
Scroll down…
His arm started working again.
Now he is upbeat!
It’s not perfect, but it’s almost there.
Know what the bipolar lesson is?
Before I tell you, I want you to guess then scroll down….
You have to have patience when trying to recover or if your loved one is trying to recover….
Because otherwise you will get frustrated…
Get depressed…
And give up too early.
It’s like the “staying in there” quality I talk about in my courses/systems that you have to have if you’re going to reach stability. That you have to set it as a long term goal, and not expect it to happen too soon.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
It’s just like in Nascar racing.
I know a girl who hates it so much!
But her husband is really into it, so I’ll use it as an example. : )
Besides, maybe you’re a Nascar fan, too, and can relate to this.
Ok, so they don’t just go around the track once, do they?
In fact, if one of the drivers wasn’t picked to start in first place and thought that was it and got frustrated and went home, they would have absolutely no chance of winning, right?
Well, let’s say they stuck in there, and started in the back, and eventually made it through the pack, went around a few times, but only made it into the middle of the pack.
What if they quit then? They still wouldn’t win.
It’s only the ones who maybe start at the end, make it through all the frustration and adversity…
Everything they have going against them…
Like people with bipolar disorder…
Who make it to the finish line.
Which, for people with bipolar disorder would mean stability.
What about you and your loved one?
Can you relate to my story about my friend and his recovery?
And about how you and your loved one are going to have to be patient too?
Post responses below
Hi ya Dave!
You are so right. There are people who expect overnight miracles when they go the dr and get their first set of meds. They expect everything to be great right off the bat. This seldom happens unfortunately. It took me going to the dr for many years just to get the bipolar dignosis, but I didn’t give up! The meds they gave me helped somewhat, and somewhat was better than the condition I was in. Anything was better than the condition I was in when I started seeking psychiatric help. And before that, I had been seeking therapy for a decade and none of my counselors, therapists nor pyschologists picked up on me having bipolar.
It finally came, half way through the pack, the diagnonsis. Then it took seeing several more different drs and trying probably 10 different medications, I landed a great dr. He worked with me and tried and tried different medications and finally we achieved serenity! I am peaceful, the rage is gone, the depression is for the most part gone, the mania is almost gone. I get sad but with therapy I have learned how to keep serious depression from taking hold of me and makeing me completely depressed. I feel manic sometimes and want to spend money impuslively, but I have learned how to put things off too. I have been stable for 5 years now!
The many years of therapy I have had combined with the trial and error of finding the right combination of medication has made me a winner in the bipolar race for stability. Like your friend, I wanted to get better immediately. But patients and persistance proved to win the bipolar race for stability for me.
Great analogies!!!
Thanks Dave,
Bob
Good Morning David,
Thank you for your e-mail this morning, it just
reminded me of our grandson, he came here from
Col. for a visit, and he had his mind set on buying
a scotter and riding it back to Col. from Ill.
It sure was not a good idea, I didn’t think, well
anyway it worked out so he wasn’t able to get a
license and lots of other paper work, which would have
taken a few days, like the Social Security office
papers etc. and he would have had to take a drivers
test,needless to say he wasn’t too happy. So he took
the plane back, he called lastnight when he arrived
there and he was in a better mood. Praise the Lord.
Have a great day.
God Bless You for all you do to help people.
Sincerely, Darlene
David I would like to get somthing about supporting loved with bipolar. My husband really needs it.He is at his end with me.
I could really relate to the story. Thank you.
Dave that is so true. Our son was diagnosed 18 mo ago with bipolar disorder. We think now that they have their meds it is going to get better right away. We have to let the meds do their job & when they work with their docs and therapist – let them do their jobs –
I completely agree that coping well with bipolar disorder takes patience and persistence, just as any other challenge does.
Of course, people with bipolar disorder and/or their loved ones can go about things without developing and maintaining a fair amount of patience. But I think this approach limits progress, and ultimately it delays the success we all want.
That said, it’s natural to feel impatient. The guy who wrecked his motorcyle suddenly found himself unable to use a part of his own body! So of course he wanted the trouble fixed–yesterday! It’s a helpless feeling when one’s body/mind unexpectedly turns on you this way.
And I believe the encouraging remarks of friends are helpful, but at the same time, it’s the injured person’s experience, and there’s a limit to our capacity to understand what paralysis feels like.
There’s common ground here, too, and value in every aspect of the situation. Having personal ongoing expereince with loss of mobility myself, it helps me to allow for my impatience, anger, grief and anxiety.
Then I feel much more able to think about being patient with the same situation. And I don’t experience the situation as black or white. I’ve never stopped and said, “Ok, now I’m done being angry, sad, scared, and impatient forever. I’m moving on to patience and acceptance.”
I just kind of observe myself and allow for what is true, even though it’s not perfect, or other people might judge me.
No sense choking down normal, healthy feelings. The less energy I spend pushing those away, the more energy I have to be building on that good foundation of patience.
Best to all,
J
On the button every time Dave: my daughter had a few bad days: you have reminded me just in time to back off and be patient:It takes a while to get to grips with this monstrous disease. We supporters can forget sometimes just how much our loved ones have to struggle every day.and at the beginning of the whole recovery its can seem so much harder for them – thank you Dave for that heads up for supporters and its great to give the example of the person recovering from an accident: it reminded me of mine and it took ages for my fingers to work again and I remember the first exercises were pure agony I nearily gave up -I have a beautiful daughter I lovew her
regards
Shona
DAVE, today’s email was just the reminder I needed – thanks. I have always agreed that patience is one of the most important qualities to have when dealing with bipolar disorder. I am a very patient person. However, recently I have been getting a bit fed up waiting for my boyfriend to come out of a depressive episode. It has been going on so much longer than before. Now we have good weather at last and lovely long bright evenings and we are not doing anything together, because he wants to be left alone. This frustrates me. The new therapist is no good for him at all and he may recover more quickly if she left him in peace. His psych is going to review his meds and then we have to wait and see how the new meds (or new dosage) are going to work. During normal periods my boyfriend is a very positive person. All good things come to those who wait.
I don’t agree with you Dave. My dad had a paralyzing injury from the neck down. He never regained use of his limbs and he died as a result of his injuries only two months later. There was nothing that could be done. He suffered more than anyone should have. The doctors got his and my hopes up that he’d walk out of the hospital. They lied. They put him through two horrible surgeries for no reason; only for their financial benefit. He got to the point that he could not even sit up in a bed. It only got worse and worse. The doctors were not honest with us. Since the loss of my dad, I have suffered from major depression. I have found that the mental health field contains the majority of dishonest ‘professionals.’ I have had two dozen psychiatrists haphazardly and carelessly prescribe medication without caring if they really are helping me. These doctors fire themselves when they say they no longer have the answers. I have also had several therapists who have no clue what he/she is doing. My life has been awful over the past seven years and it only gets worse. I have lost faith and trust.
Dave you are spot on with everything,I have to read your mail when i first get up in the morning,it gives me a bit more patients to face the day with my bipolar husband, I really don’t know what i would do without you,,many thanks and lots of love to you and your family x